Chapter 9

Chapter 9. This one is a bit sad for poor lil' Spader. It's from his POV.

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Chapter 9:

I flinched slightly in pain. What hurt? A knocking sound slowly brought me to reality. Why was it so loud? I squeezed my eyes closed tighter; the sun was shining in them. I tried to fall back into my unconscious state but nothing would allow me to. My head was throbbing, something hurt, that annoying sound wouldn't stop, the sun was in my eyes, and… yeah… stupid morning wood. I guess I had some good dreams last night.

I gripped tighter to whatever I was holding, pulling myself closer. It was warm, and the scent was strangely calming. I sighed happily, relaxing again. Even that sound had gone away. "Morning, Vo, are you going to get the door?" a voice asked me softly.

I looked up in confusion. The voice suddenly made everything even better then okay. "Pendragon," I said in surprise, trying to remember why he was in my bed with me. "Pendragon!" I cried happily, everything flooding back. All the pain. I was so happy he was here to help me with the horrible ache in my heart.

I noticed Pendragon was staring at me with wide eyes, a worried look on his face. "What?" I asked softly. I pushed myself up and onto my knees, crawling onto my lover. I straddled his waist, just wanting to be in his arms. Pendragon obliged, gently pulling me into his chest. I let my eyes fall closed, sighing happily as he held me against him. I looked up from his neck for a kiss and he gently traced my cheekbone on one side of my face. I flinched instinctively, that side of my face hurt quite badly.

"Spader, are you okay?" he asked softly.

I frowned and nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

Pendragon shook his head and kissed me. It felt nice, and I kissed back happily. "I love you," I murmured softly. Both of us jumped at the sound of a click from my bedroom door. The door opened slightly, but not all the way.

"Are you both covered up?" I heard a voice ask.

Pendragon tugged the quilt that had slipped away from my body and wrapped it around me so I was covered up. "Yeah," he answered the voice.

I recognized Yenza's voice and I groaned, burying my face in Pendragon's shoulder. I was so dazed in the morning when I woke up. You could set me on fire and it would take me a good 20 seconds to realize what was going on. It didn't help that I was naked in my lover's arms with a boner. Talk about a lovely scene for your boss and acolyte to walk in on. "Did you just break into my room?" I asked pitifully, voice glazed with sleepiness.

"The two of you could sleep through a siren!" Yenza cried in surprised, cautiously peeking into my room.

Why did she have to act so cautious? "It's okay, we're not going to break out and start making intense love the second you set eyes on us. We're covered up," I said sarcastically.

"He's in a bad mood in the morning," Pendragon laughed with a smile.

"Am not!" I snapped irritably. I paused for a moment then sighed. "Sorry. And did you break into my room?"

Yenza chuckled and shook her head. "Yes. I thought it would be better then to have Loor break the door down. I'm pretty sure she would have. She still doesn't know the two of you are dating does she? I'm sure seeing two boys in bed together would be a shock."

I blinked once then twice. That was what that noise had been! Loor had been knocking on our door? Why? I looked toward the clock and almost jumped. It was noon! A sick feeling slowly came over me. I was going to be leaving home again. I didn't want to leave Cloral yet, but I'd do anything for Pendragon. If he was ready to go back to Second Earth, I'd follow. Sleeping in separate beds again, not being able to kiss because Courtney and Loor will be living in the same apartment as us, staying with Courtney…

I didn't want to be around her. I really didn't. I gently reached up, laying my hand gently on my cheek where Courtney had slapped me last night. Pendragon gave me a worried glace. "Are you in pain?" he asked, sounding anxious.

"Only a little physically…" I replied softly.

"What happened?" Yenza asked, sounding pretty shocked.

"Him and Courtney broke up last night," Pendragon said softly. I flinched in his arms, feeling a stinging sensation in my eyes. Pendragon quickly started to run his hand down my back and through my hair. "Shhh, it's okay," he soothed me softly.

I squeezed my eyes closed, refusing to let the tears fall. I didn't want to look weak in front of Pendragon anymore. I didn't want to look weak in front of Yenza, either. I looked up into Bobby's eyes. "I'm okay." I forced a smile for him, and the tension in the room vanished. Just keep the pain masked, okay, I could do that. "Can I get a shower before we leave?" I asked curiously, shifting in Bobby's arms.

Bobby looked at Yenza curiously. "What does Loor want?"

"She wanted you two to wake up. I think she wanted to get back to your territory."

"Where is she now?"

"She should be at my home. I told her I would get the two of you."

Bobby frowned slighted and looked down at me. "Why don't you just take one back on Second Earth?"

I sighed in slight frustration. I didn't like not being able to take a shower when I wanted. That was the real downer about the whole other territories thing. "We made love last night," I whispered softly to him, "and I'd like to clean up…"

Bobby blushed slightly. He wasn't the one that got filled with cum and lubricant. "A quick one?" he asked curiously. I nodded and he sighed. "Okay."

"I'll go tell Loor the two of you are awake," Yenza replied as she turned to leave my room. Obviously she wasn't big on the idea of seeing me naked. That was fine with me; I wasn't big on the idea of being seen by anyone other then my lover. I pushed myself out of Pendragon's arms and stretched. I couldn't believe it was already noon.

I guessed I was going to be taking a shower alone, and I slipped into the bathroom. I wasn't wearing anything, so as soon as the water was warm, I jumped in. I didn't want to annoy Pendragon by taking too long, so I cleaned up quickly. I was kind of hoping he would step into the shower with me, but he didn't…

Once I was happy and clean, I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my waist. I guessed Pendragon would probably want to leave soon, so I towel-dried my dripping wet hair and immediately went into my room to get dressed. Pendragon wasn't anywhere around, so I guessed he was with Loor. I bit my lip absently, only realizing that I was biting it when I tasted blood. I flinched in pain. I didn't want to be jealous. I didn't want to be so protective of my love that he couldn't be with anyone but me…

The thing was, when I was on Second Earth with him, I could only cling to Pendragon. I didn't really know anyone from the territory, and Pendragon didn't want me getting to know anyone because people there were cold and there was the whole different territory thing. Truthfully though, I was extremely jealous of people around my Pendragon. My eyes should be green.

I sighed and tugged on some clothes before slipping back into the bathroom. I brushed out my still-wet hair and put on some shoes before heading toward the door. I stopped dead in my tracks just before leaving though. An ill feeling started to spread through me, and I had to lean against the wall of support. I didn't want to leave. I loved adventure, but going to Second Earth wasn't going to bring an adventure or fun. Just pain and being in a world different then the one in which I was raised.

Was Bobby really going to leave Loor for me? I let my eyes fall closed, trying to force myself to believe he would. So much doubt. He'd never do anything like that.

"Spader, do you trust me?"

I jolted upright, my eyes wide. Immediately I pushed all my doubts aside and I rushed out the door.

"I do trust you, Pendragon."

"Well, I don't know if I can trust you…"

Trust me, Pendragon, please! I swear I'll follow you to the ends of Halla! I'd die for you! Anything! I'll leave my home, my love, my life! Everything, all for you! You don't have to do anything! Don't bother leaving Loor! Just, please, love and trust me!

I shiver ripped up my spine. Pendragon wanted Loor more than me. Of course he did. All I'd done was mess everything up. Now it made sense. Loor didn't have to do anything to keep his heart because she already fully had it. She's been perfect as a Traveler, and I hadn't. I'd failed Pendragon where Loor hadn't. It just wasn't meant to be between Pendragon and me.

"Yenza?" I asked softly, knocking on her door. She opened the door and flinched visibly. A chill ripped through me. "What happened?" I asked softly.

She quickly waved her hand to calm me down. "Nothing, Spader, it's okay. Pendragon and Loor already left for Second Earth. Pendragon said they were going to go and tell you, though."

I lowered my eyes. "They didn't," I said softly. I felt slightly out of it. I was so in love with Pendragon, I'd do anything for him. I knew I was upset about leaving home, but that still hadn't accounted to my previous panic attack. Just minutes before I'd doubted that Pendragon would leave Loor for me. Then I'd changed to trusting him and needing his trust. Now, though, I was feeling that he didn't want me. One thing had lead to the other. I was sensing something.

Yenza obviously noticed what was wrong. "Spader," she attempted to soothe me, "I'm sure things are fine."

She felt it, too. I squeezed my eyes closed. "I'm going to Second Earth."

I was surprised when Yenza pulled me into a hug. Was it really that bad? "It will be okay, I know it will. You've been through a lot worse things then this," she assured me.

"But I can only take so much," I choked out softly. I was fighting the urge to collapse on the ground and just cry. I loved adventure, I was always trying to be optimistic, I was almost always the center of attention, and I'd do anything for a friend. It's just right now… I felt so helpless, and I felt like I was underwater, my lungs burning for oxygen and hundreds of pounds of pressure were on top of me. I was trying to get to the surface before my lungs burst, but I didn't know if I could.

I took in a sharp breath and forced myself to stand up straight. I needed to get to Second Earth.

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Yep, a cliff hanger! Poor little Spader, those words from Bobby on First Earth are really stuck with him. He's also feeling the fear that Bobby still loves Loor more then him.