Kelsi
I woke up the next morning with a massive headache, the faint taste of vomit in my mouth, and I felt nauseous. I couldn't remember much, and the last thing I remembered was drinking with that hooker at the bar in my old neighborhood. I started to wonder how I got in my bed at Ryan and Sharpay's.
"Kelsi, you're up." Ryan said as he rushed to my side talking extremely too loud.
"Ugh…too loud…" I groaned burying my head into the pillow.
"Ah, a hangover. Yeah, you were pretty drunk last night."
"What did I do?" I asked almost afraid to ask. I hope I didn't do anything horrible…like that could even happen after all the shit I've done sober.
"You puked a lot, you were slurring your words, and you were stumbling around."
"Is that all?" I asked sensing that he was holding back. I must've really fucked up.
"Not really. I don't think you want to know the other stuff you did."
"Just tell me…" I said wincing at what was to come.
"Kelsi, you really should rest. Take an aspirin. I know your head must be killing you."
"Ryan, quit avoiding the issue. I want to know if I've done anything that might have hurt you. Now, quit stalling and tell me."
"Fine…you kept telling me to not touch you, you said you were going to kick Shar's ass, you cried over a hooker you had just meet, and you said something about a secret place you had. Were you serious about that last part? Were you trying to leave?" he said with a hurt look. I didn't mean to hurt him. I actually wanted him to come with me.
"It's true, but I wanted you to come with me."
"You said that last night. I just wanted to make sure you were serious about that. Because, if you are…I want to leave with you. I'm so sorry for doing this to you…" he said as he started to cry and I slowly rose up, but I wasn't able to get out of bed yet.
"Ryan…come here." I said in a soft voice and he climbed in bed with me. I held his head to my chest and he cried in my arms.
"What have I done to you, Kelsi? I hate what I've done to you…" he sobbed out and my heart went out to him. I never knew he was this tormented. I just assumed that he was fine with all of this, and I thought he didn't care about how I was feeling.
"Ryan, don't cry. It's not your fault…Everything that has happened, was my fault. I could've said no that first day I slept with Sharpay, but I didn't. However, I don't regret a thing."
"How could you say that? We used you as a pawn in our sick game. I hate myself for doing this to you. You don't deserve to be treated like a toy."
"I know…but…part of me actually liked it. I mean, I don't expect you to understand it. Hell, I don't even think I understand it myself sometimes, but it was a change from my boring life. But, I'm willing to stop if you are."
"I'm willing. So, what will we be when we leave?"
"I don't know…I wish I could say that I wanted to be your girlfriend, but we've crossed the line of normalcy and I don't know if I can bring myself to think beyond that right now. I'm sorry for being brutally honest, but…" I said, but stopped talking to see his reaction. He looked disappointed, and I knew I hurt him, but I had to make it clear that I couldn't be his girlfriend right now. I mean, after all the shit we've done…it would take be a while to forget it, or at least see past it. I did still love him, though. I had always loved him and, most of the times, I had wished it was just me and him having sex.
Sharpay
When I woke up that morning, I had remembered the night before. I don't think I've ever seen Kelsi like that before. It was sort of amusing, but I knew Ryan wouldn't see it that way. It annoyed me how much he cared about her. I hate to admit it, but I'm jealous of that. I wished he cared about me that much. I mean, I'm his sister after all.
"Ryan?" I called out when I heard the sound of him crying. The sound was louder in Kelsi's room and I heard her comfort him. "Ryan, what's wrong?" I said as I went over to him and he recoiled at my touch.
"Don't…" he said as he stood up next to Kelsi's bed and he looked at me with a serious look on his face. "Shar…I'm leaving. I'm moving out with Kelsi."
"The hell you are, Ryan!" I said feeling very pissed off. Who the hell did this slut think she was for taking Ryan away from me?! I should have known this was going to happen. I just didn't anticipate Ryan being the one breaking down…
"Shar…This has to stop. I've told you before that I wanted to stop this. Now, I have a chance to stop this cycle, and possibly get help."
"This is your fault!" I yelled to Kelsi. If I didn't know better, I could've sworn I saw a smirk on her face. Little miss Kelsi isn't quite as innocent after all. But, I could be wrong. Leave it to me to twist and distort things from the actual truth.
"Listen, Sharpay, I have a huge hangover. My head hurts and I feel like I'm going to puke…again. So, I'm not going to argue with you right now. However, I will say this…Ryan and I are leaving. The both of us have grown tired of being in this sick game. It's time for you to stop being a manipulating spider trapping us in your web."
"You're the manipulating spider. You come here acting all innocent…"
"Shar…" Ryan said in a warning tone. "Leave Kelsi alone."
"Why are you defending her, Ryan?! I'm your fucking sister!"
"Shar, you stopped being my sister a long time ago the day we fucked." Ryan said and I could have sworn I felt tears threatening to force themselves out. I haven't cried in a long time, and Ryan was determined to see me cry. I wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing that. "Sometimes, I try to pretend you're not my sister. It's the only thing I can do to justify our sick relationship…it never worked. No matter what or who I thought about, you were my sister and I was fucking you. Well, it stops now. I love Kelsi."
"You don't love her! You're just using her to distract yourself from me. The only reason you're doing this, is because you feel guilty."
"Yes, I feel guilty. But that's not why I'm doing this. It's time that I do something to help myself. I want to be on my own. I can't be with you forever. I have to find my own identity and try to make a name for myself. Shar, you don't need me. You have so much talent and I'm always in the background. You'll be okay."
"That shit doesn't matter." I said feeling the single tear that managed to escape. Fine, I cried. The mask came off. "I'm going to be alone if you leave…"
"Shar…" he said as he went over to me, but he didn't hug or touch me. "You're not going to be alone. Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean that I'm just going to forget about you. I just need some space. Besides, you have loads of friends."
"They're not real friends. They're only people I tolerate and use to get ahead."
"Then, find some real friends. Find people you can trust and go to for anything."
"I trust you…only you." I said as I let all of my tears fall.
Ryan
God, it hurt like hell to see Sharpay in that state, but I knew if I didn't leave, I was going to be trapped in that cycle forever and I would lose Kelsi forever. Sometimes, you have to make hard choices…even if the choice you make will hurt someone you care about.
It was a few hours after I had told Sharpay I was leaving. She had left to go to the gym, and I stayed with Kelsi looking at a brochure of the apartment she wanted to move into. I couldn't believe I was actually leaving, but a part of me, a huge part of me, hated that Sharpay was going to be alone.
"Ryan? Are you okay?" Kelsi asked as if she sensed my distress.
"Not really. It's been a long time since I've seen her like that. She hadn't cried in years. What if I'm wrong? What if she can't make it alone."
"Ryan, don't do that to yourself. It is not you responsibility to keep her happy. You have to live your life. I'm not trying to be cruel, but…it's just has to be done."
"I know, I know…but, it was just too hard to see her like that. She's never been on her own…neither of us have. But, I have you to help me. She has no one."
"Well…do you want…to stay?" she asked cautiously, and I hesitated. I could see the hurt in her face as she asked that question and it killed me even more because I wasn't sure if I could say that I didn't. I mean, I had never seen Shar like that in a long time. It scared me. However, I knew I had to leave because I had to if I wanted to stop.
"No, I don't want to stay, but it's going to be hard for me to leave. I mean, you saw her. She broke down when I just told her I was leaving. Imagine how she's going to be when I'm actually gone. I don't want her to feel alone, but I know I can't stay."
"Good. The last thing you need to think about is anyone else besides yourself. I don't care if you want to live with me or not, but you can't stay here if you want to stop this. I care about you way too much to just sit and watch you fall deeper into this."
"Really? I thought you would hate me by now…I'd hate me if I were you."
"I don't hate you. I'm not going to lie, I don't like Sharpay very much, but I don't hate her either. Okay, maybe a little, but…" she said but I cut her off with a kiss. I didn't know if she would allow me to do that, but I needed her. As long as I kept thinking about her and how much I cared about her…I would be safe. I pulled away to see her reaction.
"Ryan…maybe it's not a good idea to do this. I mean, you're upset and…I meant what I said. I don't think I can be your girlfriend after all this…I'm sorry." she said as she looked down and my heart was hurting. He hated me, she just didn't want to say it.
"Don't be sorry, Kelsi…it's all my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you like that. I'm sorry. I know you hate me whether you want to tell me or not. Just be honest with me…do you hate me?' I said not wanting to know her answer.
"It doesn't matter. Let's not do anything that will change your mind about leaving."
"Kelsi, do you hate me? Yes or no?" I repeated the question while staring into her liquid blue eyes. She tried to look away, but I held her face so she couldn't.
"Fine…I hate you. I hate what you and Sharpay have done to me. So much. I hate that you two used me and involved me in your sick, twisted fucking game. But, I'm not letting you stay here. We are going to leave together. But, yeah…I hate you. Are you happy?"
"Yes, I am." I said and she looked confused. "We need to address this. Get it out of the way before we move to live together. I want to be in our new place with a fresh start and a clean slate between us. When we leave, I don't want you to hate me. I mean it when I say I love you."
