Fan Fiction vs. Real Life

I'm only a total drabble roll right now. Hope you like this.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokemon.

Fan Fiction vs. Real Life: Don't Wish


Fan fiction vs. Real life #9

In fan fiction, any wish will inevitably go really badly and will generally teach the protagonist some sort of life lesson about how they should be grateful for what they've got.

In real life, the following 'wish granters' do not exist: genies, Jirachi, fairies, The Unown (to some degree), leprechauns, Santa (unless you are under the age of 13 and then he totally does), Satan (using the term 'wish granter' very loosely), tree demons, altruistic billionaires, Angels, and various other mythical creatures.


"So the deal is I get three wishes, right?" Misty asked, giving the genie an almost beligrent look. "And you've got to do anything I ask, right?"

The genie nodded tiredly, as though he had been going over these general circumstances for the last hour and a half. "Provided you keep within the rules," he cautioned blandly. "I can't kill anyone. I can't make someone fall in love with you. Yada yada yada."

"I know," Misty nodded and gave him condescending look, "but there's ways around that obviously."

"What?" the genie gaped, shocked at what she was insinuating.

"Well you said that I couldn't raise a person from the dead, but you didn't say that you couldn't make a perfect clone of someone with the same personality," she shrugged vaguely. "And you said YOU couldn't kill anybody, but you didn't say I couldn't wish that somebody else killed someone or wish that they be put in a situation where they will inevitably die.

"And you said that I couldn't make someone fall in love with me, but you didn't say I couldn't wish that all his other romantic prospects were attracted to somebody else and didn't want him because they all found him physically unattractive so that he'd have no choice but to end up with me," she finished succinctly.

"And that's what you want me to do?" the genie questioned, hoping to speed through her three wishes a bit faster. "You want me to ensure that every one of Ash Ketchum's romantic interests has somebody else, thus leaving you as the only viable option?"

Misty's eyes widened in disbelief and she gave him an even more condescending look than before. "Why on earth would I want that?" Misty asked snootily, her nose creased in disdain.

The genie rolled his eyes. "Oh right, 'cos you're totally not in love with Ash Ketchum," he muttered sarcastically, Misty's easy solution to his all-powerful limits making him bitter.

Misty glared in response. "Did I say I was finished?" she asked bitingly as the genie shrunk back at her anger. "As I was saying, why would anyone want that? Knowing that a person was only with you because you were their only option left? I bet that's really good for your self-esteem.

"You really think I want Ash to be with me just because Gary is suddenly straight and inexplicably drawn to my sisters, or because May has Drew, and Dawn has Zoey?" she questioned sarcastically. "Or because Brock, no matter how desperate he gets, will never change teams?

"Bouldershipping is sick," she added as a totally unnecessary aside, her face wrinkled in disgust. "That's practically incest, or at least psychological incest. They're like brothers and you're sick for trying to taint that with your sick fantasies," she accused the genie darkly.

"I-I nev-"

"Now what I want," Misty began, cutting off his protests indifferently, "is one of every species of water Pokémon on the planet. I want to be able to eat as much dessert as I like without ever putting on weight. And I want a hot cabana boy who will serve all my needs here at the gym."

"You've got to say 'I wish'," the genie reminded her drolly.

Misty gave him a sarcastic look. "Do I really look like the "I wish I may I wish I might" kinda girl?" she asked him.

The genie shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Those are the rules. I can't do your bidding until you say the magic words."

"Fine then," Misty conceded, "I wish for the stuff I said before. Pokémon, desserts, and cabana boy," she told him, listing the items on her fingers.

"Done," the genie nodded, happy to be free of the arrangement. "Don't you think you were a little selfish in your wishes?" he asked casually. "You could have included something for your friends."

Misty shrugged indifferently. "Let them find their own genie."


"So you really can't make someone fall in love with me?"

The genie almost groaned in frustration. "For the last time, May, no I cannot make anyone fall in love."

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly, her tone almost desperate.

"Yes, I'm sure," he replied, dragging a palm across his face.

"But maybe you're just not doing it right so you need to try again," she tried hopefully.

"It's not that I'm incapable," the genie explained slowly. "It's the rules. Apparently they're not very good rules and certain people are able to get around it with very little effort."

"Evil people?" May asked anxiously, her mouth agape.

The genie thought about this for a moment and then nodded solemnly in response. "Yes, very evil people."

May gasped at the thought before cautiously asking for more. "Could . . . could I get around it?"

"Yes," the genies answered, "anybody could. But apparently it's not very satisfying to have a person be with you solely because they couldn't be with anyone else."

May frowned. "You're right. That doesn't sound very good."

"So now that we've established the limits," the genie tried, "are you ready to make your wishes?"

"I guess," May nodded cautiously. She made a quick cough to clear her throat and then began. "Genie light, Genie bright. First genie I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have these three wishes come true tonight." The genie discretely rolled his eyes to accompany her speech.

"I wish that Drew would be less of a jerk to me at contests – not nice or anything, just less of a jerk please," she began in a tone distant and dreamy. "I wish I had a Milotic. And I wish that all my friends will find happiness."

"Anything else?" the genie asked drily. He considered her last request to really be pushing the boundaries of his powers.

"I get more wishes?" May gaped in surprise.

"Never mind," the genie waved off quickly. "Your wish is my command. See yah."


"Are you sure you can't make anyone fall in love with me?" Brock asked desperately. "It could be anyone. I'm not fussy. Just someone. Anyone will do!"

"No," the genie said. "I'm sorry, Brock. No matter how worthy your plea seems, it would be against the rules to grant that wish.

"I really am sorry," the genie said once more, seeming to actually like this particular master. "There's a way around it, sort of, but it's not particularly effective and needs to be aimed at a particular person."

"It's fine," Brock replied, "but thank you for trying all the same.

"Hmmm," he continued thoughtfully, "I think . . . yes, that should work. I wish I could meet my soul mate one hour from now at that tree over there," he said, pointing to a redwood standing in the corner. "I wish I could have my own breeding centre."

The genie nodded, the beginnings of Brock's wishes seeming reasonable.

"And I wish that Ash and Misty would admit their feelings for one another," Brock finished with a wide grin. He was already imagining the peace that would come from Ash and Misty's 'Unresolved Sexual Tension' being resolved, as well as all the opportunities he would have to taunt them over their past denials.

The genie frowned. "You know I can't make him fall in love with her," he reminded his soon to be former master. "No genie could."

Brock nodded sagely, unfazed by the genie's obscure knowledge. He smiled to himself as he formed his simple reply. "That shouldn't be a problem."


"Wow, Misty, where'd you get all these cool water Pokémon from?" Ash stated as he glanced around the very full habitat at the Cerulean gym.

"Just around," Misty answered vaguely.

"I can't believe you have a keldeo," Ash gaped as a pony like creature trotted up to them. Misty held out a sugar cube to the Pokémon, and it greedily ate it up before planting a sloppy kiss on Misty's cheek.

"When did you go to Unova?" he asked her eagerly. His face fell a moment later as he realized the full implications of her being in Unova. "How come you didn't visit me?" he pouted sadly and gave his best friend a disappointed look.

Misty rolled her eyes as she gathered Pikachu into her arms, running her fingers through the Pokémon's golden fur. "I didn't go to Unova, Ash," she replied. "Keldeo was a gift.

"Do you really think I'd go to Unova and not visit you?" she asked him with a teasing smile, lightly slapping his shoulder and letting her hand linger unnecessarily. "You're the only reason I'd go there to begin with," she added quietly.

Ash grinned, his cheeks flushing at the implied meaning even though he wasn't conscious of this hidden layer to her words. They held eye contact for a moment, until the hidden emotions got much for Misty and she had to do something to distract herself.

"Diego!" she called snapping her fingers in the air. The scantily clad cabana boy arrived promptly at her whim. "I need you to file the taxes for this month on the food bills and file an application with council for an expansion of the gym. After that I want you to get me a banana split with no almonds and god help you if I see a single almond," she warned, raising her pimp hand strong. "Go!" she commanded dangerously, sending him away.

He left quickly, and then promptly tripped over his own feet as Misty's sisters walked by him. Misty sighed loudly, muttering some comment under her breath about how she had wasted her wish and should have just wished for psyduck to evolve and be done with it. Pikachu jumped away, too afraid to stay where he was when she got that dangerous look in her eyes.

"Ash, if you had a genie offering you three wishes, what would you ask for?" she asked, seemingly out of the blue.

Ash shrugged as he stopped to think about her questions. "Do the standard limitations apply?" he asked.

Misty nodded. "Technically," she nodded. "Who were you going to kill?" she grinned at him.

Ash smiled. "You," he answered teasingly, "but I'd bring you right back to life. I just wanted to be able to say I killed you."

Misty rolled her eyes. "Total waste of two wishes," she muttered.

"Yeah, well, maybe to you," Ash shrugged. "Okay I got them," he said after a little more time to think about the question. "I'd want all the Pokémon in the world. And I'd want to be able to make hamburgers appear out of thin air. And I'd want a six pack."

"That's it?" Misty asked. "That's kind of lame."

Ash shrugged. "I only really wanted the first one and everything else I wanted is excluded by the three rules."

"Okay, then pretend that the three rules don't apply," Misty suggested. "What would you wish for then?"

"All the Pokémon," Ash responded immediately, his tone casual. "Bring my dad back. Make you fall in love with me."

Misty nodded thoughtfully at his response until the words slowly sunk into her brain. She blinked in bewilderment, her mouth opening and closing as she struggled to find the words. "Did you just – " she gaped. "Are you saying –

"Can you . . . can you repeat that last one?" she asked him shyly, holding her breath as she awaited his answer.

He smiled, moving closer to her and seeming suddenly confident. "I wish," he said lowly, leaning his head towards her, "that Misty Waterflower would fall in love with me."

She gasped at his words, but a sudden movement by Ash stifled it as he descended his lips upon hers. It was only a brief touch of lip-to-lip contact before he pulled away, but it left her head feeling light and dizzy all the same (although that might have been due to lack of air).

As he pulled away, he looked deeply into her eyes for the answer to his own unresolved question. She smiled lightly, and he knew then that the answer was obvious before she even said the words.

"Wish granted."

~FIN~

Genies are so awesome - they're like the perfect excuse for an unprompted, out of character confession of love. I'm surprised I didn't think of using one earlier.

Anyone catch the Family Guy reference? Just me then . . .