[i]Note: Yay, first author's note is up! Haha. I meant to say this sooner, but I forgot, buuuuttt.... What I wanted to say is, we all know that James, in the books, does not have a little sister. But for this story, she's kind of crucial, so let's just all pretend he has one, mmkay? And thanks for the wonderful reviews eveyone! =D xx Linda[/i]

[b][u]Chapter five: Continued.[/b][/u]

So here I was, sitting on a beach in sunny Barcelona, together with a man who certainly didn't wanted my company at all, with good reason. But what could I do? Head off to downtown Barcelona on my own, and get lost for sure? Yeah, my sense of direction wasn't that great. Sirius was sitting a few yards away from James and me, with a group of giggly Spanish girls, entertaining and charming then, just like when he was at Hogwarts. He was the same as ever, while James seemed to be a completely different person, who seemed… More like himself then ever. He was sitting crossed-legged, drawing circles in the sand with his fingers. I was noticing I was copying him, to nervous to say something. What if I hurt him again?

He sighed and laid down on the sand on his back, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry you're stuck with me all day." He said. "I bet it wasn't how you imagined your day." He didn't look at me as he spoke, he kept his eyes fixed at the sky above, watching the small white fluffy clouds float by.

I shrugged, not looking at him. "I'm fine really." I muttered, which wasn't entirely true. Guilt was still eating at me. I wanted to apologize, but I wasn't sure where to start. I looked across the water, watching the small waves, thinking of a way to start. "I'm just worried if you're fine as well." I started.

He snorted and looked at me, one eyebrow raised, a smirk on his face. But still not his usual smirk, there was still a lot of pain in it. "You, are worried about me?" He asked in disbelief. "Now that's something I never heard you say. Why would you be worried about me? If I listened to the bigger meaning behind the words you said to me last night, well, I guess you thought I don't have any emotion and/or feelings, and that it wouldn't bother me."

I cringed at his words, but I had expected them. And it was exactly what I deserved. "I never thought that." I muttered. I pulled my legs up so that my knees were on the same level with my chin, and stared at my feet. "I'm sorry I said those things. I'll understand if you can't forgive me. But I did want to apologize for what I have said." I peeked into his direction from under my eyelashes, waiting for him to say he would never forgive me for this, which he had every reason to.

To my surprise, he just shrugged. "Can't do much about it anymore, Lily." He said. "What's been said has been said, and no one can change that. And I'm glad you found the courage to apologize, although I'm not sure if you mean it."

I looked down again, my shoulders hanging. "Of course I mean it." I muttered. "Or else I wouldn't have apologized."

James shrugged again. "Well, that still doesn't mean I am ruining your entire holiday just by being there." He said, and I cringed again. I wanted to say it was not true, but he continued talking. "But it's to late to go back now, even if my granddad could get a refund for this, if he was able to."

That last sentence confused me. "What do you mean?" I asked him, peeking at him from under my eyelashes again, still to embarrassed to look at him straight.

He sighed. "I'm saying to much." He muttered first before he spoke more clearly then. "Meaning that this cruise was a present for the entire family. A goodbye present to be exact. Didn't you wonder where I was for a week last April?" But he answered that question for himself." No of course not, like you would ever wonder about my whereabouts. But anyways, I was at home with the family, to wish him a last goodbye, and to help arrange the funeral. He had secretly booked a cruise for us all, a final present before he would… Go."

He looked down at his hands, and for a fraction of a second I thought I saw a tear glister on his cheek. I blinked once, and then it was gone. I didn't realize I was doing it, but before I knew it I had stretched out my hand and slipped it into his. "I'm so sorry, James." I whispered. To my surprise, he didn't pull himself free from my gesture. Instead of that, he squeezed my hand gently. "Not your fault." He muttered. "Ha, guess I do have some feelings and emotion after all." He smiled weakly. I smiled back. "Of course you do." I said, meaning every word of it. He looked up at me and gave me a small smile. "I'm actually glad we had this talk." He said, honestly. I nodded and returned his smile. "Me to, actually." I said. He laughed, but it still sounded a bit weak. "So, friends?" He asked. "Friends." I said smiling, squeezing his hand once more.