Chapter Nine: Mommy and Daddy Time

A/N: Well, I thought I was far overdue for a lemon so here's one and it actually works into my plot! Woo! :) Have fun, children. Momma loves ya!

Morning came whenever Joker awoke. Seeing the sunshine glistening through the lowered, tattered curtains the last occupants had left behind, he could see bits and pieces of the annoying brightness peeking through. The darkness was still there...had to be nearly sunrise...or maybe sunset. Granted, he wasn't one to sleep all hours of the day. Joker groaned, feeling very little productivity in his wake; there were days he could spring out of bed and BAM! He'd be an early farmer, tending to the cows of his herd. Today however, he was—to a word—exhausted.

He looked up at the rotting ceiling above the queen-sized bed; it was still in reasonable condition but there was definitely a plumber to talk to about the leaky plumbing in the pipes that shifted water through the walls. Concentric circles were practically the ceiling's design, for save the intricate patter of dots and array of stains. At that point, the wall borders above and below were slowly fading in color and age...just like age.

Joker frowned. He certainly was not the early bird of the morning. He licked his lips, feeling his familiar scars. Something brought him from his interior decorative state of mind (in another life, he could have been an architect or fashion designer) when he felt the shifting weight in his bed. He glanced downwards, expecting some gun-wielding monster to come at him any moment—so was his expectations per waking up daily. Someone—gunman, robber, mobster, bum...his mother—was always out to hunt him down. Seeing past his bare chest, which was decorated with scars of its own, he saw no one. Then hearing a soft sigh, he turned to his immediate left.

Ah...he had almost forgotten her.

She was lying beside him. Allegra Von...er...Davenheart...Vanessa? Queen...

Joker scowled—she had so many aliases, he wondered if he shouldn't just call her 'Allegra' or 'mysterious klepto'. She'd introduced herself to him as Allegra...that much he knew. Stripper and a barmaid for an occupation and had been, a week ago, reported as 'missing' on national television. 'Armed and dangerous', Engel had reported. Joker looked at the temptress with heavily lidded eyes, a raucous natural smile, and the fiery brunette hair that fell down her shoulders in natural wisps and straight locks. The scars on her naked abdomen and shoulders—gun wounds, knife scars...he smirked. A woman who could take as much pain as she possibly did was certainly good enough to be around.

Joker sat up, reserving the right not to fall back asleep. He put his back against the headboard—it was damn near freezing outside of the blankets! He continued to watch Allegra. At first, it was out of jealousy—he wished he could sleep so soundly. It'd been a long time since he'd gotten such rest; to see her nearly frozen (for she hardly moved at all), Joker wished he could find a deeper sleep than a few hours' worth. He watched Allegra nearly five minutes, unblinking...quiet. If it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of her illuminous bosom, Joker might've thought her a corpse.

"Will you shut up!" Joker heard one of the men snapping from downstairs. "You'll wake the boss, and do you really want that to happen!" Joker smirked: It was Bear.

He could recognize that bellowing deep voice anywhere.

"It hurts so bad!" Victor was crying—his whiny voice never failing to scratch Joker's nerves. The latter cringed, feeling a slow and steady urge to take the knife from his favorite collection and drive it further in the man's slowly healing knee wound. He wanted to know pain? Joker would show him pain...he began to climb out of bed to do just that until the woman beside him stirred.

She opened her eyes slowly, then, seeing him, she smiled as big as Joker's scars had permanently made him grin. He wondered how such a smile could relive consistently on a woman's face without having any favors done for her, or sex for that matter. Joker grinned back at her.

"Good morning," Joker mused sarcastically.

"I wouldn't call it 'good'," said Allegra. She heard the crying of the fat man downstairs. "He still going on about that?"

Joker chuckled, saying, "If you hadn't shot him, we wouldn't be waking up to it."

Allegra shrugged, knowing he was right. A week ago, Allegra had shot the complaining simpleton in the knee for giving the wrong answer to a trivial question that should never had been answered to start with—that had been Allegra's way of making a very dark joke that only he and his other goons found funny. Granted, Victor couldn't find the humor in the pun, as he had been served the punchline—shooting his knee cap.

She watched Joker get out of bed, pulling down gray pants in exchange for dark blue jeans and tossing his hands through a blue, collared shirt. Her eyes never failed to give him a short check-out, the smile on her face (had he not seen it, he'd have thought it impossible) widening ever more. Joker noticed. He liked it when she looked at him 'that' way.

"What are you doing?" asked Allegra.

Joker stepped onto the bed, trapping her back against the headboard and her knees slid opposite ways so he sat right in between them. His hands touched her jawline, tracing his thumbs down from the point of her chin over her throat. His fingers grazed behind her ears, and took a handful of her roots just below the nape of her neck, pulling her head back so she looked up at him, rather than eye-level.

"I'm not telling you," Joker told her, breaking the suspense.

"Why not?" asked Allegra. She grimaced when he tugged a little too tightly, but he loved seeing her expression. He caused that painful wince. He caused her to teeter back to her rightful place. She was his interest, the most interesting by far, but Allegra was still working for him, not with him.

"Because," said Joker, "I have a feeling you might ruin this for me."

"When have I done that?"

"You've taken my gun several times," Joker told her.

"I borrowed it."

"You shot my employee."

"He gave me the wrong answer."

"You'd have shot him either way."

Allegra grinned as he brought his lips to hers, but never touched them.

"And," said Joker smoothly, "your little setback has cost me greatly."

"I didn't realize you were a materialistic man, Killer," Allegra whispered, smirking when Joker frowned slightly.

"Allegra," he purred darkly, "there is a very dis-tinct difference between 'materialistic' and 'resourceful'. For once, I actually did mean for Vicky to be part of a little scheme I've been drawing, and by shooting him, you've knocked out one of the pawns in my delicious game."

Allegra felt him pull her hair tighter, a stronger grip. She moved towards him, her hips pushing against his—the nightshirt she wore to bed drawn up her legs so her purple panties were easily visible. Joker glanced down briefly, seeing her hands move to his chest, brushing down the buttons, undoing them as she spoke next.

"I'm sorry I ruined your game," Allegra mewed innocently, although the guilty pleasure resounded in her eyes and soft mockery. "You can take away my allowance for a week."

"I'll take more than that if you're going to shoot another one," Joker told her pointedly.

"Ground me." Allegra muttered in a sultry voice. While Joker towered over her, Allegra lowered to the bed on her back, moving her feet up the back of his legs. Her hands fingered down the lines of his shirt, squeezing over his shoulders, feeling his taut muscles. Joker watched her carefully, knowing damn well whatever she was doing (or planning) was working to her advantage.

"I have no time for your games," Joker told her coolly.

"Daddy works all the time," Allegra mewed sadly, but the smile on her face was bolder. "No time for Mommy. And the kids wonder why we fight..."

"We don't fight."

"But wouldn't it be great if we did?" Allegra purred. Saying so, she pushed her mouth onto his—her tongue grazed over his scars with the same intrique she had for them, and found his tongue. Surprised at her action and a little of her words, Joker moved on his back, chuckling in his throat when Allegra unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down his legs.

"Working hard this morning, hm?" Joker teased, smirking when Allegra straddled him after moving down his boxers. They dropped somewhere at the end of the bed. She pulled her nightshirt over her head, throwing it aside. Joker smirked when she was completely naked, even the pretty violet panties had been discarded. Joker wondered when that had happened—how did he miss that beautiful show!

"One of your imps burst through that door and interrupt this a third time," Allegra stated dangerously, her voice livid with arousal and seriousness, "I'll burn this house to the ground, and chain the door."

Joker grinned. "Ooh, you have a really dark sense of humor!"

Allegra lowered her body to touch his bare chest (the shirt having been tossed with his jeans—seriously, how did he miss that!), her hardened nips grazing him as her hips began to grind against him. He looked at her as she danced slowly; her tantalizing figure...the way her thighs simply held him in place...

Joker smirked when she kissed him hard, and she bit his lip. He made a soft grunt of pain but it had disappeared the moment he felt it. He returned the gesture, biting her tongue instead when he found it inside her mouth. Allegra giggled—a cute giggle. Her hands rubbed between her chest and his, making their way below his torso...down, down...

"Boss!"

Allegra growled (Joker felt immediate arousal, hearing such a furious sound). She leaned past him, and put her hand underneathe the mattress just above his head, and pulled out a magnum gun. She cocked it, then shot at the door. Bear, Kyle, and James could be heard screaming with surprise then running down the stairs.

"YOU COME THROUGH THIS DOOR, FUCKERS, AND I WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEADS OFF!" Allegra shouted.

Joker laughed, even as the gunshot echoed throughout the room and possibly the entire house. He found his limit though, more than ready for her. He took the gun from her hand, putting it behind him on the mattress as he leaned forward, taking her by the hips and moving Allegra on her back. She giggled with the gesture, looking up at him.

"You really have to stop being so hard on them," Joker said. "Remember, Allegra? You're Mom, I'm Dad—sound familiar?"

"I didn't realize we were playing House," Allegra quoted his words back to him. She shrugged. "Momma gets tired of the children."

Joker smirked at her.

"You should learn to control that temper of yours, Bunny. It's not proper taking it out on the kids." Joker said calmly. He moved his lips briefly over her neck; she moaned quietly at his touch, even more when he kissed her a second time with his tongue. Even lower, Joker could feel that she was ready for him. Maybe had been for the past week or so, maybe, even, the first time they met.

"Oh, yeah, in a jam?" Allegra breathed, excitement building. "I'd hate for that to happen." She reached behind him, taking her fingernails to his lower back. "Call Social Services." She laughed.

"They'll be on the streets," Joker told her. He teased her with a small entry, letting her get a taste of what would be filling inside. She was panting with suspense.

"So kill them," she moaned quietly. Allegra laughed again—more out of desperation than actual humor— "That's all they're good for anyway!"

"Isn't that what you're for?" Joker questioned. He said it to see her reaction. Was she really worth having? It depended.

Allegra looked at him for a second, completely caught off guard. Then, she smiled at him.

"Either fuck me or kill me, Killer. Either way, I'm sure we'll both have fun."

Joker stared at her, a bit stunned at the answer. But he smiled, and with that, he pushed all of him inside of her. She moaned loudly at the penetration; even more when he didn't stop to let her become accustomed to his size. His thrusts were unprecedented; somehow, her body found the rhythm. Her nails clawed his back; he gave her bruises on her chest and hips. Their moans of pleasure were louder than the cries Victor mewed from downstairs.

When the two had reached their peak, Allegra was an incoherent bubble of pleasing sounds to Joker's ears. He rolled off her, lying on his back. Her eyes were glazed over, hair in a mess, and her breathing was erratic. However, her smile was evident.

"Now," she panted, "it's a good morning."

Joker gave her a look, and began dressing again.

"Now what are you doing?" asked Allegra, sitting up. Her nakedness exposed—Joker didn't mind; he was happy to get another memory into his brain before going downstairs.

He took the magnum from the bed and held it in his hand.

"I'm going to comfort the children," Joker told her lightly. He leaned forward over the bed, kissing her lips briefly, adding, "I'll let them know you're feeling better now."

"Fan-fuckin'-tastic," Allegra returned.

Joker grinned broadly at her, then turned to leave.

"Honey."

"Hmm," Joker looked at her.

She threw him the magnum, and Joker looked at it curiously. Didn't he just have it a while ago...wait...He looked at Allegra and seeing the mischievous smirk on her face, he figured the games weren't over, even if they had ended. He shook his head and walked out of the bedroom while Allegra chuckled to herself with great amusement.