The Heather Channel Chapter 9

"Astrid, please, pull yourself together!" Ruffnut begged.

"I can't!" she sobbed. "I can't! Hiccup is married! He married Heather!"

"Astrid, you can't keep falling to pieces every time you see them together! That's a lot of pieces for me to pick up!"

"No, it's just so wrong!" Astrid cried. "It's all wrong!" She buried her face in her hands and cried some more.

"Well, if you can't pull yourself together for real, then fake it! Here comes Snotlout!"

Astrid worked to get it together. It didn't take much work; the whole thing was an act. She knew Hiccup's marriage was a short-lived sham, but she couldn't let on that she knew it – he'd made it very clear that the truth had to stay a secret. So she had to act the part of spurned lover, because that's what the town expected. All these girly emotions were not her strong suit, but she seemed to be doing a decent acting job - her best friend was apparently fooled. By the time Lout was close enough to talk to, she looked like someone who had been crying recently, but not in the past few minutes.

"Hey, Ruff, Astrid! What's happening?"

"We were trying to have some girl-talk time," Ruff growled.

"Oooh! Girly-talk! I won't interrupt that!" Lout smirked. "But before I go, I have to ask you something, Astrid. Now that Hiccup is out of circulation, maybe you and I should get together? I can help you get over this, you know."

"That's very sweet of you, Snotlout," she said demurely. "Maybe, when Muspelheim freezes over, I'll think about it."

"Really?" His eyes lit up. "You know, I heard Muspelheim is having a cold wave these days. I wouldn't be surprised if –"

"Snotlout, get lost!" Ruff ordered. "Don't make me stuff those horns up your nose!"

"Fine, whatever." He waved them off as he left. "But I'll be back!"

Ruff sat down next to Astrid. "What were the gods thinking when they made boys such jerks?"

"It's like we're two different kinds of creature," Astrid nodded. "Sometimes I think Stormfly understands me better than boys do."

"Of course she does! She's a girl," Ruff exclaimed. "I ride a boy dragon, and he can be as thick as my brother sometimes."

"Ruff, you're exaggerating," Astrid said. "No dragon, boy or girl, could ever be as thick as your brother!" They had a quick laugh at that.

"Hey, do you want to go flying?" Astrid suddenly asked.

"Can't," Ruff answered. "I don't know where my brother is. It takes two to fly that dragon."

"No, you come for a ride on Stormfly with me. We'll have some girl time in the air, just the three of us, and no Snotlout."

"I'm all over that!" Ruff chuckled. Stormfly needed no encouraging, and they were soon punching holes in the clouds. For a few minutes, Astrid had no worries. It was mid-afternoon, and she knew Hiccup always flew Toothless in the morning, so there was no danger of bumping into... them.

Far below them, they noticed something moving slowly across the landscape. Nothing else in the sky could be mistaken for a Gronckle. "That must be Fishlegs on Meatlug," Astrid noted.

"Do you think he's... okay?" Ruff wondered.

"He's different, but no worse than any other boy we know. He's better than some, that's for sure. I think he's pretty harmless. Why?"

"He kisses his dragon." Ruff was plainly disgusted.

"I'm sure they're just good friends," Astrid replied.

"You wouldn't say that if you saw Heather kissing Hiccup, would you?" Ruff asked.

"Well, that's never happened, right?" She got no answer. "Right, Ruff?" Astrid felt her heart speeding up. "Ruff? Tell me you haven't seen her kissing him! PLEASE!"

"I... I didn't want to say anything... I knew it would just make things worse... but yesterday morning when the two of them came back from riding Toothless, he helped her get off the dragon, and they were both laughing a little, and... she kissed him. Kind of quick. On the cheek, I think."

"She didn't even hit him first?" Astrid felt like she was whimpering.

"Not even a little," Ruff said. "She was all girly-girl on him. I could tell it really surprised him. His brain is probably under siege again, whatever that means. That's not good, right?"

The only answer she got was the sound of Astrid weeping. These weren't the loud, mournful tears she'd been crying ever since the wedding. These were quiet tears. It sounded like they hurt a lot more than the noisy kind. "No," she whispered. "Please, no..."

"Did I say the wrong thing?" Ruff asked.

"No," Astrid sobbed. "You're a good friend. You tell me the truth. I need that, even though..." She broke off.

"Even though you don't want to hear it?"

Astrid nodded. She couldn't talk. Everything was suddenly going totally, completely wrong, and it wasn't an act this time.

"We're landing," she finally sniffled. "We're going out in the woods. I am going to slaughter some defenseless trees. I may need your help pulling my axe out of the trunks."

"That's what friends are for," Ruff agreed. "Do you want me to draw pictures of Hiccup on those trees for you?"

"No," Astrid said grimly. "But you can draw Heather if you want to."