Here we go again, a chapter filled with randomness for whoever is still out there and willing to enjoy. And remember, the review button is your friend.

Ch. IX

Let's rewind, shall we? I'm in ancient Egypt. I'm believed to be the son of Isis, protected by Sobek. I punched the pharaoh. I got punched by the pharaoh. I was sexually harassed by myself. I got a love confession from said pharaoh that previously punched me. Did I forget anything? Oh, right… I might have a high priest lusting after me too. How… fun.

Well I think we can safely say my life's gotten pretty fucked up. And I mean the "Welcome to the Laa-laa-house, please take a seat on the pancakes and have a freshly baked mushroom" –kind of fucked up. Sure it was fucked up before, but not this bad. I mean… I got freaking sexually harassed by myself! And even I know how laughably insane that sounds!

Loony-town, here I come.

So, there I stood. On the balcony. Trying to make sense of the senseless. Watching the desert. Ignoring the servants. Still trying to make sense of things. Giving up. Yeah, I gave up. There was just no way I could handle that much at one time. I guess I could sort of understand my past self getting all touchy-cutty on me. It was me we're talking about here, after all. I ran my hand over the carving on my bandaged chest. For some reason today's clothing-present consisted of a tunic. Hmm, wonder why.

And jewellery. Lots of it. Armbands and necklaces and a few rings. The thought would have been nice, I suppose, if I wasn't so painfully aware of why the pharaoh kept sending me these trinkets. Besides, if my past self ever decides of a second visit he'll just have more crap to steal. Not that I minded. That was the only good thing, actually.

Anyway, it was there on the balcony where I tried to ignore the servants and guards all the rest when the bastardness finally walked up to me and… insert a disgusted shudder here… hugged me. He actually had the nerve to rest his head against my shoulder! The… the… the nerve! He's damned lucky I didn't decide to rip a new hole in his face for it.

Naah, I'm not that stupid. So I tried to pull away but damned highness had a bit of muscle back then and he just didn't let go. I think I actually growled, though I also think it went ignored.

"My dear Kura," the idioticy began in some wistful tone. "I've been considering that perhaps it is of time that you accompanied me on a ride." Now that caught my interest. I turned my head and gave him a long, curious look. In response, he hugged me tighter and smiled. "I wish to show you my beautiful land, if you would accompany me in my wagon."

Took me a moment to think about it, really. Plus side, I'd get to go outside of the palace and see old places. Minus side, I'd have to stand next to royal ass over there.

But… I really wanted to go. So I nodded and tried not to see his smug greatness of victory.

"I am pleased, Kura," he told me. And I was supposed to care? Self-centred jerk. Uh, was it just me or was he tightening his grip again? Aw hell. He was tightening his grip on me!

"Alright, would you let go of me now? Please? Making me a bit uncomfortable here," I told him and tried to pry his arms off. I seriously tried. About the time it started to look like I'd have to resort to another punch at his holiness I think I began to panic a bit. I mean I didn't want to know what he'd do if I dared hit him again. And then he suddenly let go and, to be honest, surprisingly gently turned my head to face him.

"Will it be too much for me to request for one kiss?"

He did not just say that. My eyes widened and I pulled away quickly, and this time successfully.

"It's way too much to 'request,'" I snarled at the bastard and walked back inside. Though, for his credit, at least he had the decency to ask this time.

I slumped down on the pillows on the floor and poured myself a goblet of wine, deliberately ignoring the pharaoh. I wasn't his damned servant; he could damned well pour his own drink. Atem walked in after a while and sat down close to me.

"So, when are we going to go off on this little ride," I asked. I was curious after all. Today? Tomorrow? In an hour or immediately? Those are things you're supposed to know, you know? The pharaoh stared at me for a while, obviously not so pleased anymore.

"Once midday has passed, dear Kura. I fear Ra's eye might harm the skin Isis blessed you with," he said after a moment's silence. And he actually had a point. Looking down at my pale complexion I realized that some hours in the sun would probably have me burned to a crisp. Not that I'd admit it to him.

I took a sip of the wine and glanced at the pharaoh before proceeding to appear like I was ignoring him. It wasn't like I could really, really ignore him here. Who knows what he might have thought of if I hadn't been on my guard? The pharaoh raised an eyebrow at me, then narrowed his eyes before finally sighing.

"I want you to join us for dinner," he stated, once again just expecting to be obeyed. Not that I really had any plans or anything, but it would have been nice of him to have been a bit more polite or something. So I shrugged in a way that I hoped said "I couldn't care less" and drank a bit more. "I shall see you then." I shrugged again.

Movement had me send a sideways glare that did no good as Mr. King leaned forward, grabbed my chin and pressed his lips against mine. He didn't try to stick his tongue down my throat this time, which meant he'd learned something. Didn't make the experience any more pleasant, though.

Then, in a swish and ruffle of royal garb, the pharaoh stood up and walked to the door.

And I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"I try to be considerate of your wild nature in these circumstances, my untamed love," he told me. My face would have probably looked pretty funny, being stuck between surprise and suspicion and confusion, but luckily Atem didn't look back. "But keep in mind, young Kura, that you are beautiful. I cannot promise that I will be able to keep distance for much longer." And then he just walked out of the room all royal and stuff.

Keep distance? The hell did he mean with that?

Keep… distance…

Unless… Oh no. No no no no. Hell no.

I had the most irresistible urge to get drunk. Really I had. But I didn't. You know why? Because a drunk Bakura is a Bakura that doesn't know what he's doing. That's why.

So I was still pretty sober when a high priest showed up at my door to "escort" me. And to my endless surprise, it wasn't Seth.

Mr. Pokemon gave me a rude, cold, angry, merciless, I-wanna-kill-you stare.

"The dinner is being served." Oh really? I could never have guessed. "I am here to accompany you." Dude, I could never have guessed. "Shall we?" He pointed for me to start walking and I gave him the cockiest smirk I could manage. And that was damned cocky, I tell you.

Of course I could have asked him what had happened to Seth. Not that I really cared, but I was a tiny bit curious. Or I could have pointed out something about the attack last night and lack of good guards. But instead, what I did was grin at him, wink and say as low as I could with him still able to hear:

"Bet it's killing you to have the king chasing after worthless ol' me, isn't it you pervert." Mr. Pokemon choked. Heh heh… Bull's-eye. "Really, don't you think you're a bit old for him?"

"How dare you?! I am a respected advisor to our King and I will not have the likes of you insulting me!" Ooh, must have hit a nerve there. All I did was grin wider and lengthen my steps so I got some distance from him. I wasn't going to try my luck, but being an asshole felt good.

Heck, I think I shocked a few people when I casually sauntered into the dining room, huge smile plastered on my face and a fuming Shi-sha-shomon walking behind me. With the grace that comes from years of sneaking and avoiding traps I sat down on the chair by the pharaoh and leaned back comfortably.

I wasn't blind or oblivious enough to miss the way others eyed me. Some bolder servants, guards, the pharaoh, Seth and even that kid Mana gave me a… appreciating look, so to say. But I bravely bore it with my head high knowing that Mr. Pokemon was having a way worse day than I.

TBC…