Author's Chapter Notes:
Welcome to chapter nine of FMN! I'm happy that y'all enjoyed the little insight into Edward's mind in the last one but right now we're back to our Bella and all her pain.
So this isn't the longest chapter but it covers a lot of background and goings on that this story needs.
I apologize that there isn't much action happening here, but I promise the next one shall make up for it :P
As always Twilight and all it's characters belong to Stephenie :)
Enjoy x
Chapter Nine: Slipping Away
I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many time I've kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
I can be so mean when I wanna be,
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
When my heart is... broken...
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me.
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty.
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest...
But baby I don't mean it...
I mean it, I promise.
Please don't leave me,
Please don't leave me.
I always say how I don't need you,
But it's always gonna come right back to this...
Please, don't leave me.
I forgot to say out loud, how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry.
Please, please don't leave me
Baby please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you,
But it's always gonna come right back to this.
Please, don't leave me.
Please don't leave me,
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me
Baby, please, please don't leave me
Pink - Please, Don't Leave Me
Bella's POV: Now
It was Friday morning. I was nearly through the first week back at school. Three days of having Edward back in my life. I yawned, stretching my arms above my head and noticed something didn't feel right. I couldn't quite place it, but something just...wasn't there.
I hauled myself up out of my bed, clocking that it was perfect timing for getting ready for school. It wasn't until I was back in my room having showered and washed my hair, that I realised someone else had been in my room. I just had this feeling. What chilled me though, was that it must have happened while I was asleep.
The sounding of a car horn outside the house had me at my window in a flash. Edward Cullen - I had to remind myself that was his name now - the hottest guy at Forks High was outside. Standing, leaning against his car with his legs crossed at the ankles, looking every bit as perfect as he normally did. I smiled despite myself as he looked up and caught me looking out the window. I blushed as his smile took on its crooked personality.
I descended the stairs to my mom waiting, arms folded across her chest, and a smug look on her face. Was there any other in recent days? Apart from pissed off that was. I bypassed her and headed straight to the fridge for a bottle of water before walking back to the hall. This time, however, she was standing right where I couldn't get passed her.
"New friend, Isabella?"
What the hell? My mom had changed to a completely different person in the past few days. Maybe I was bi-polar, maybe I got it from her. Her tone was condescending, and there was disapproval written all over her face as I tried to shimmy around her. No such luck.
"I was tutoring him Mom. My truck is at school, he's giving me a lift."
"You're becoming very secretive these days, Isabella. I don't like it." One hand made its way to her hip, and she cocked her head to the side, as if contemplating something.
"Mom, since when do you call me Isabella? I hate that name, and I told you all about Edward on Tuesday." I was becoming defensive, and she was pissing me off - mostly because she was keeping me from Edward.
"Don't take that tone with me. I gave you that name and I will use it when I want. Now get going, you can't be late for school." She changed to trying to be the stern, concerned mother as she waved me past, but I was too confused to think about it.
Edward stepped forward from the car as I shut the door behind me. I leaned back against it for a second to get my bearings. I knew I was looking at him, but I wasn't really seeing anything. I was becoming increasingly concerned about Renee. There was just something there under the surface, but I had no idea what it could even be.
"Bella?" Edward's soft, honey tone floated through the air towards me, and I focused my eyes in on him.
I sighed, and smiled at the sheer sight of him. His brow was furrowed in the most adorable way, and I wasn't entirely sure he even knew he was holding his hand out to me. He had done it the day before as some sort of knee-jerk reaction, and had then panicked, shoving it in his pocket. This morning though, his eyes flitted from me to his outstretched palm and back to me again.
"Your carriage awaits..." He gave a little bow, and I giggled as he flourished his hand at his car behind him. While being the basis of most of my problems without even knowing it, Edward was the one who brought the smile back to my face. I knew this because just being around him made me happier - if not ultimately sadder too.
I slid into his magnificent car and inhaled the scent permeating the enclosed space around me. His scent. It calmed me to no end, and I found myself wishing I could spend more time like that with him. I thought back to being in his room, all uniquely him, and smiled. I had been so pleased to realize he was still drawing, having been told that he didn't play anymore. But when I saw myself, or rather how Edward saw me, something cracked inside. The portrayal of me was painfully heart-breaking, and it had angered and ashamed me that that was how he saw me.
However, his next words had not been what I was expecting. He had said I was beautiful in the same tone he had always used before. The one that broke down every barrier and wall I had ever put up around me. A change I knew he hadn't noticed, a change he no longer knew to look for.
"I can read you like a book Bella; I don't need to be able to read minds."
I didn't look around as he opened his own door and settled himself down in the driver's seat, but it didn't escape my notice that he hadn't even made an effort to turn the engine on.
"Why is your mother watching us?" His voice, along with the fact that he had mentioned Renee, startled me, and I twitched agitatedly in my seat.
"Can we go?" I hadn't answered his question, but he must have heard something in my voice. He turned the key in the ignition, and peeled out of the space he had been occupying in front of my quaint little house. He didn't question me further.
Just like it had been the day before, every eye in the lot was on us as we arrived - or so it seemed. Jessica and Lauren didn't hide their ogling as Edward pulled into the space across from my truck. When the engine was off he didn't leave the car, and it wasn't long before I could feel his eyes on me. What was he doing? There was nothing happening and yet it didn't feel like a friendly silence.
I turned to look at him, and his eyes immediately snapped to my mouth, where I was subconsciously biting my bottom lip. As his eyes narrowed, I released it and grabbed my bag from the floor. Edward's cool hand on my forearm halted my movements. I heard my breath catch in my throat this time, not prepared for the hum of energy between us.
The last time I had been able to disguise it, but with no jacket on, I shivered. I immaturely glared at said jacket that was lying across my lap. I once again looked up at him, but was only met with concern, a look that melted me with little effort. Another thing he didn't know anymore.
"Are you okay?" I was puzzled by his question. No, was the outright answer, but why was he asking me? He didn't know that I was madly in love with him or was guilty over using one of my oldest friends to get some relief. That I was mad at him for forgetting everything, and overall wanting nothing more than to pull his lips to mine and feel the familiarity I knew I would discover in that one significant touch.
"I had another rough night, and Renee was acting a little weirdly this morning, but, yeah, I'm doing okay." I shrugged my shoulders with an attempt at a smile. It was half-true. I had had another nightmare, but this time it was about Edward. For some reason my brain was conjuring up the worst pictures of an accident they could muster, and placing Edward in the middle of the wreckage. For the third night in a row I had awoken crying hysterically, albeit silently, in the middle of the night.
He looked at me softly for a few seconds, and I wanted nothing more than to be in his head. "You want to talk about it?" Now there would be a conversation.
"Oh I'm just having nightmares about the accident that stole the love of my life away from me. No biggy, they're not as bad as the ones I used to have." I nearly laughed at the thought, but managed to reign in my frayed emotions at the last minute.
"Maybe some day."
I smiled a little more this time, knowing I had given him that answer before. Hopefully he would get the significance of what I was telling him. I know I had shut him out at first, but I was willing to "get to know him." He only had to give me the time I needed, however long that may be.
"I'm here," was the only answer I received, but the warm smile it accompanied, ate up my thoughts of the past twenty minutes, and I smiled in return before hoisting my bag up and exiting his car, leaving all his Edward-ness safely inside. He frowned at me over the car, and I nearly giggled as I realized I hadn't waited for him to open my door for me.
As I made my way round the car, my eyes were glued to him. He was wearing another pair of dark jeans and a navy blue hooded top. It was snug with the perfect amount of space so that it wasn't too tight. He looked perfect, but then he always looked perfect to me.
With such close scrutiny, I noticed his whole body tense. I looked up to his face to see that his jaw was set and his eyes were narrowed. I followed his gaze, and felt the nausea creep up on me as I watched Lauren strut her way over to him. I stopped at the front of the car, a few feet away from him, as Lauren stopped before him.
"Hey!" Lauren's nasally voice floated across to me, and I winced as it cut straight through me. My fists clenched at my sides as I watched Jessica giggling with two freshmen at the other side of the lot, her eyes glued to Lauren's little performance.
"Uh, hi?" Edward looked nothing short of uncomfortable, and I found solace in that fact as he looked to his feet.
"I'm Lauren. I just wanted to introduce myself." I couldn't stop the eye roll on my part and folded my arms over my chest, my own way to try and keep my emotions inside. Did it actually work? Sometimes.
"Eh, right okay." Edward shrugged indifferently. I snorted and tried to hide it with a bout of coughing. Looking like he just remembered I was there, Edward turned to me with a smile and held his hand out in my direction. My breath caught, and I eyed it quizzically. When I looked back up to his face, he was almost pleading with me to go along with it. We had been here before.
My chest tightened at the scene playing out in front of me, only in reverse order, and I didn't move. The expression on his face faltered, but Lauren's triumphant grin was the only thing that caught my attention. Pulling myself together, I stepped over to Edward, wrapped my hand around his larger one, and pulled myself into his side.
His scent surrounded me like a warm security blanket, seconds before his arm did the same thing. I melted into his side, resting my head on his chest as his grip tightened around my waist. I was barely managing to breathe as his fingers started tracing circles into my top.
"It was good to meet you, Lauren, but Bella and I should be getting to class." He nodded in her direction impersonally, and towed us in the direction of the main building.
"Thank you," he murmured. His sweet breath fanned over my cheek as he leaned down to whisper closely to me.
"You're welcome, Edward." My voice was small even to my ears. Being this close to Edward was something I had wanted for so long that I wasn't quite sure it was happening. He only wanted me to help him out. I knew he wasn't interested in Lauren, but that didn't mean he was interested in me. And that, above anything else, crushed me beyond belief. What if he never wanted me back? What if he never remembered how he felt? Thankfully, the bell rang as we crossed through the front door.
"I need to go, Edward."
I pulled away from him hastily, knowing that all eyes were still on us. As far as they knew, we were the new couple at Forks High.
Without a backwards glance, I headed off in the direction of my calculus class. I knew Edward's was only two rooms down, hell he had even walked me there the day before, but I was off. I practically ran from him, afraid he was say something else and pull me back in.
Was I afraid he'd put some crazy ass spell on me or something? I was beginning to act insane.
I was asked a question twice by the teacher, and both times I had to ask him to repeat it, simply because my brain was on Edward. His smell, his touch, his voice - everything about him drew me in. It always had. By the end of the period, the teacher was more or less pissed off with me, but didn't mention it further. He knew I was the smartest student in his class, and he knew it had never happened before.
As was the norm, I was at my English class first. I waited patiently as the previous class filtered out and made my way straight to my seat, ignoring Mr Berty's glances in my direction. I tried to practically melt into the plastic chair beneath me as Jessica and Lauren made their way in, talking loudly. I shoved my backpack on the seat next to me and concentrated on my book as I realized they were talking about none other than Edward Cullen. Seemed even by Friday he was the man of the moment.
I could feel a little sorry for them if I really tried. After all, I had fallen for the charm and outer packaging in less than five minutes when I had first met him. After that, it took less than two days to become completely infatuated with him as a whole. I knew exactly what they were "going through." But it was the simple fact that I had already gone through it, and was still going through the same things, that made me hate them irrevocably. There was a part of me that still screamed "MINE!" every time another girl either looked at Edward or spoke his name. A reaction I knew I had no right to feel anymore. He hardly knew who I was.
I was so caught up in my internal musings, that I didn't notice Edward himself until he was standing beside my desk, asking me something. Not that I knew what it was. I looked up at him blankly, not really realizing he had been talking to me exclusively. I stared at him, as if it would help me find an answer.
"Did you say something?" Shit, that was rude. My tone was clipped and harsh, still reacting on the emotions I was feeling toward Lauren, who coincidentally just had to be watching us.
"I asked if I could sit beside you." His face showed no emotion what-so-ever as I looked it over, and it irritated me.
Did I want a pleading look? One of hope or amusement? Yes, I wanted him to want to sit beside me, but not look bored in the process.
"There are plenty of other seats, Edward." I waved my hand dismissively as I continued with the bitch persona.
Why was I constantly pushing him away? I wanted this, why was I being such a bitch to him?
"Yes, yes there are. But there is only one beside you, so that's why I'm asking." His voice changed to annoyance, and I looked back up at him to find that he was getting a bit pissed off. Why didn't he just sit somewhere else if my attitude was annoying him so much?
"Fine." I huffed petulantly, and dumped my bag on the floor between us. I folded my legs in front of me and turned my body so that I was no longer facing in his direction. To anyone else, I looked like I was trying to put as much distance between us as possible. Edward probably thought that too, but I knew if I was facing his direction, I would stare at him unabashedly for the entire period. Something I wasn't sure I'd be able to pass off or live down.
He threw himself into the black chair beside me, crossed his legs at the ankles, and stretched them out in front of him. He placed his books and a pen on the desk, before crossing his arms. He was the epitome of relaxed and comfortable. From the corner of my eye I saw him turn to face me. His attention on me made me blush, so he knew I was aware of him.
As time wore on, I wondered why he wanted to sit next to me in the first place. He didn't speak, the only sounds coming from his side of the table being pen scratching on paper, and the tiny little sighs he let out every once in a while. When we weren't copying things out, we were supposed to be concentrating on the text before us. I was aware that Edward knew what he was talking about when it came to Pride and Prejudice, so it didn't surprise me when he didn't pay attention at those moments. Instead, he concentrated on me.
I squirmed under his intense gaze that barely wavered for a second. I kept my eyes deliberately focused on the page in front of me, keeping track of each line as the class read through it. I mentally thanked the teacher for not making me read aloud.
The blush that had flamed as he sat down took up permanence on my chest and face, and even to my mortification, my arms. The dark blue tank I was wearing showed all of those places, causing me to feel even more exposed than usual as my flesh heated up with his attention.
He chuckled warmly as I tossed my book down on the desk in aggravation. It was sexy coming from him, as most things were, and this time my eyes betrayed me. I looked up at him from beneath my lashes.
"Something bothering you, Swan?" His face was graced with the most delicious cocky smirk I had seen since he had come back, and my skin heated even more. I had seen that look before, and the situation was worlds from the one we were currently in.
"You," I said lowly, hoping that he wouldn't actually hear me, but his soft sigh alerted me to the fact that he had. What was it with us this week? We were both saying things we didn't really want the other to hear. But it was obvious that we were both wanting to say things to the other and not.
It was turning into some seriously confusing shit. I was even beginning to sound like Edward.
I heaved a sigh of relief when the bell rang, thankful that the tension would finally end. Then with a groan, I remembered that we had yet to go to Biology, where the situation would be exactly the same. Only this time we would be sitting at the front of the class and not the back. That meant Lauren could watch us more closely than she had been. Personally, I was getting annoyed at the way she was always sitting sideways, so she could see us out of the corner of her eye.
What the hell was her problem anyway? If she wanted Edward, why didn't she just ask him out? I knew she didn't like me, that much was obvious, but there was nothing going on between Edward and me. If she were that interested, she would ask as much. What was the point in assuming things when you could just find out for real?
I snorted and shook my head, gaining a puzzled look from Edward. I was thinking that, yet I wasn't acting on what I thought. What was the point in assuming things? Why didn't I just pluck up the nerve to ask Edward if he had felt anything this morning when he wrapped his arm around me? If he had wanted to kiss me as badly as I had him that previous night in his room. If I just asked, I would have an answer.
Whether it was the one I wanted or not, was what was holding me back. I really didn't want to hear him say that it was all for show, and that he had obviously made a mistake. That he was giving me the wrong impression, that he indeed felt nothing.
I looked at him as he quietly walked beside me in the corridor. His shoulders were hunched over, and his hands shoved in his pockets as he tried to shield himself from the attention he was garnering. It wasn't working. He still had the eyes of every girl in the vicinity on him, and no doubt, their accompanying thoughts. While I had been inside my own head, trying desperately to sort out my thoughts, Edward had been retreating inside himself too. I guess I had made it look like I wasn't interested, and that I wanted nothing more than for him to leave me alone. How was I any better than Lauren in the way I treated some people?
"You know they can still see you, right?" I mock whispered, cupping my hand round my mouth to make it look like your usual whisper. His eyes snapped to mine, and a small smile played on his perfect lips.
"You're back." It wasn't a question or a silly statement. He was being deadly serious, and I could even see that he was slightly concerned.
"There's no escaping your own head." I tried to laugh it off, but my feigned amusement died in my throat. That had been too close to home for both of us. Edward looked at me confused, probably wondering what I had that was anywhere near as bad as him. If only he knew.
No, if he did know he would hate you and walk away, that's why you didn't tell him in the first place.
That wasn't entirely true. Every text, e-mail and voicemail I had left him in the months when he ignored me had begged him to get in touch with me. Every one of them had me pleading for him to call or visit, telling him I needed him more than he could ever know. Just thinking about it brought the tears back to my eyes, and I furiously blinked them back.
The rest of our short walk to biology was quiet, and so was our class. There was no more tension, only silence, as neither of us talked to the other. We worked around one another, sharing a textbook and equipment as we did an experiment. There was no discomfort and not even one word was spoken. It wasn't awkward, but we both knew there was something hanging over us that we were both avoiding.
Edward said a quiet goodbye and left first. I was used to being the one to walk out, and I knew I had no right to feel hurt that he did it to me. But I had lived through him leaving me once, even though I now knew different. That was how it felt at the time, and seeing him walk away, and feeling him so distant, hurt whether I wanted it to or not.
My journalism class had been one of my favorites, but I felt lonely as I sat down among students I knew very little. Even though I had been ignoring Edward, I was positive that I would rather have him beside me in silence than not at all. I groaned inwardly, knowing my day was just about to become more awkward when Alice walked in with a note. As my luck goes, the only spare seat was, of course, beside me, and I made room for her quietly as she sat down next to me with a smile.
I was quite pleased with myself that I managed to ignore her, too. Yes, I knew I was being ignorant. I mean, she hadn't done anything to deserve my ice-cold shoulder, but I just wasn't in the mood for being close to Edward's family. The only one I had managed to stomach so far had been Emmett. Who knew why that was. It wasn't not like him and Edward were anything like each other.
"Bella, I'm sorry." I swivelled my head in the direction of Alice's bell- like voice and felt the guilt crash over me. Yeah, I really was a bitch. Just like Lauren.
"I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is on you, and our expectations were inconsiderate." She looked the picture of contrite, and her sincerity was shining through her eyes. Her facial expression lifted a little as I smiled at her.
"Alice, it's okay. I've been to hell and back already. Yeah, this is going to be hard, but I know how to deal with hard now." I knew my smile didn't reach my eyes as she gasped softly. Looking around the classroom, I noticed that everyone had filed out and we were the last left.
"I'm so sorry." Her voice was softer, full of sadness as she took two steps around the desk and pulled me in for a tight hug.
For such a small person, she had some strength about her. I sank into her embrace, feeling lighter at the human contact. Apart from Jasper, no one was ever this close, yet in the past two days I had been hugged by both of Edward's siblings, and nearly hugged by Edward himself.
She released me with a small smile, causing me to laugh lightly to make sure she knew I wasn't mad at her. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to have Alice as a friend. She was kind, warm, and nothing like Lauren and Jessica. The fact that she hadn't already fallen into their group, automatically put her higher up in my list. Even Angela had mentioned she liked her, and Angela was very hard to impress.
We walked to our next class side by side, with Alice filling me in on her own thoughts of Jessica and Lauren. I was laughing right along with her as we stopped outside my History class. Already quite late, the class was almost full as I stood outside the door. My eyes caught Edward's as I noticed him sitting in the seat behind me.
Had he been there all week? Thankfully, this class comprised of single desks, so he couldn't sit beside me if he wanted to. As I turned from saying goodbye to Alice, I noticed Edward's eyebrows lift slightly in surprise. Yeah, you're not the only one, buddy.
I glued my eyes to my feet, making sure I didn't trip up on thin air, as was my usual way, and headed for my seat. I threw myself unceremoniously behind the desk, shoved my stuff out in front of me, and sat with my head in my hand, wanting nothing more than to melt into the floor.
I could feel Edward's gaze burning a whole into the side of my face and tried to face the front of the class without much success, knowing it was comfier to sit diagonally. On top of that, Lauren was starting to sicken me with her constant hair flicking and eyelid batting in Edward's direction. Why the fuck did she have to be semi-smart and be in nearly every one of my classes? She didn't seem capable of AP anything, yet there she always fucking was.
Sitting behind Edward was a blessing in disguise, because I could pretend that nothing had changed. Not seeing his face, and his nearly always-confused eyes, made it easier to think that we were the in love teenagers we had been six months prior. A girl can dream right? Not to mention that Edward managed to look just as good from the back as he did from the front.
But in front of him? Excruciatingly painful. I was self-conscious beyond belief, even when his attention wasn't on me. My awareness of when his attention was on me was my curse. I was questioning whether I was right or not. If he was looking at me so often, then why was he doing it?
Why was he studying me from the back the same way I did him? We were supposed to be doing a pop quiz, and I found myself hoping that Edward managed to understand it. When I had corrected the practice one he had completed the night before, there hadn't been a single mistake. I didn't believe I was that good, but that meant that Edward knew what he was doing after all.
Why was he making me question everything?
I gave up even trying to concentrate around half-way through the class, knowing I couldn't concentrate on anything when my thoughts were so chaotic. Did that mean I wasn't going to pass anything this year? Because I was pretty sure Edward was sticking around, and I was also pretty sure it was his fault I couldn't concentrate on anything else.
I dropped my books off in my locker, noting that Edward's was only around twenty down from mine, and that he was doing the same thing. I made my way to the lunch hall, certain that he was following not too far behind me.
With a quick scan around the hall, I noticed I was the first of our group in. I grabbed Jasper some lunch at the same time as my own to save queuing again. Edward, with brown paper bag in hand, went straight to the table Emmett was already occupying, and sat across from him. I waited in the short queue before making my way across the hall behind Angela who had just appeared. Sitting down at our usual table, I noticed that Edward was sitting facing me yet again. I couldn't get away from those damn pretty green eyes.
"Aw, Bells, I love you." Jasper squeezed me into his side dramatically and planted a kiss on my temple. He sat down heavily in the chair beside as I giggled. Ben was the last to sit down, beside Angela of course, and when I looked up to greet him, I noticed Alice standing at the front of the queue, looking for a place to sit.
"Guys, what do you say to a new recruit?" I hardly ever said much during lunch, and when I did it was usually to Jasper. Three sets of surprised eyes snapped to me at the sound of my voice. Angela followed my gaze, and turned with a smile and a nod. I got up and made my way across to Alice.
"You didn't go straight to the family table today, huh?" She startled a little, and I literally thought her tray might go flying, causing me to laugh lightly.
"It's a bit tragic to sit with your two big brothers, isn't it?" I shrugged a little with a smile, and beckoned her after me.
"Come sit with us, meet some real people." Her musical laughter followed me, so I didn't need to turn round to know she was following. One person's eyes certainly were, though, and when I met his gaze, I blushed under the scrutiny.
"Alice this is Jasper, Angela, and Ben." I introduced her to each person with my hand, and sat back down as she settled herself down opposite me.
Angela and Ben introduced themselves politely, and I was thankful when Ang made the effort to start up a conversation with her. It didn't escape my notice though that Jasper said nothing, only clearing his throat when I introduced them, causing Alice to blush. There was definitely something I didn't know.
"Was that because she's a Cullen or because you hooked up with her at your mom's party?" I whispered, so as not to gain any unwanted attention. But Jasper's spluttering, and near choking to death on his sandwich, had every eye in the room on him. I laughed along with Angela and Ben as he quickly turned red, and I helped him out with a couple of whacks on the back.
He finally settled down a bit, as did the conversation in the hall, and turned to me with an amazed look on his face.
"Jazz, when you don't talk, you learn more." I shrugged as if it was no big deal, and continued with my lunch.
"I'm sorry, but she's not like that." He was leaning into me so that no one could see or hear what he was saying, and I was a little taken aback. I had never condoned Jasper's whore-like tendencies, but I had never liked them either.
"Just don't fuck it up, okay?" I turned to smile at him, and was taken by surprise when he pecked me on the cheek, causing me to flame up again.
Selfishly I was a little worried that Jasper liked Alice that much. One, all being well, he would get closer to the Cullen family while I couldn't or wouldn't. And two, I would have less Jazz time, something I had come to rely on heavily to get me through each week. As if reading my thoughts, and seeing my inner turmoil, Jasper leaned back in.
"I'm still here, Bells. She knows my first priority is you, and I'm not going anywhere." My eyes watered at the sensation of always having Jasper to take care of me.
"I shouldn't be a priority, Jazz. That isn't fair to either of you." I sank into his side as his arm wrapped round my shoulders.
"I love you, Bells. I always will. I promised to look after you, and that's exactly what I will always do." I wiped a tear from my cheek as inconspicuously as I could, but Alice noticed. Instead of asking me if I was okay like I expected, she just smiled and turned back to her food.
I turned round to Jasper, and let him circle his arms around me with little effort. I was struggling to get my weight back to normal, and I knew I was still too thin. I wound my arms around his neck and hugged him to me with all the strength I could muster, not caring that everyone in the cafeteria could be watching us. I was safe in my Jasper bubble. I would always be safe in his arms.
I spent the rest of lunch wrapped up in my own thoughts, thankful that no one tried to include me in the table's conversation. I concentrated on the bottle of water in front of me, playing with it on top of the table. Jasper's hand had mine enclosed in it until the bell rang, and I didn't look up at anyone or noise.
When we got to the door, Jasper kept a hold of my hand and walked me to my locker. I picked up all of my books so that I could go straight from P.E to my truck. When I closed the door over, I saw Edward's mane of coppery hair above the heads of all the other students milling about, and felt a twist in my chest. He was always going to be there, so near, but yet so far. An overused cliché if ever there was one.
I turned back to Jasper, who once again took my hand in his, but instead of leading us to our Spanish class, he turned in the opposite direction and led us past Edward.
"Jasper, where are we going?" I tried to keep it quiet, but Edward's head turned as we passed, and his eyes locked onto mine.
"You're in no state for physical activity. You're that preoccupied that you'll probably break something, and Spanish isn't important anyway." He smirked over at me, knowing exactly how I felt about cutting classes. I was supposed to keep up my spotless record, not ruin it in the last months of the semester.
Edward watched us pass him by with a look of concern on his face. Keeping quiet, we made our way along the corridor, and out into the Forks drizzle. Jasper jogged over to his car, and by the time I had clambered into my truck, he was idling alongside me.
We drove; Jasper in front, to where I guessed was home, only guessing from the direction he took us in. He parked in his driveway, and jogged back to me as I parked the truck up on the curb. I wasn't sure what the plan was, but I watched without really seeing, as Jasper took the spare key from the eve, unlocked the door and led us inside. Without any words, he took my backpack off me and laid it on the floor, took my hand and pulled me up the stairs behind him.
I was lying on my new double bed, shoes and jacket off, before I really considered what was happening. I only relaxed when Jasper crawled in beside me and gathered me up into his arms. He knew I had been having a bad day without even having to ask. There he was, once again, making sure I was okay. How many nights had I taken off him? How many times had we been in this exact position?
"I love you, Jazz." I tightened my hold around his body and nestled myself into his warmth.
"Love you too, Bells," was whispered into my hair before he pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and the darkness took me. I was exhausted without even realising it.
Then: October 2009
I groaned as the rain started to pour relentlessly. It tapped loudly on the roof of my truck as I rumbled not-so-smoothly down Forks' main highway. I fiddled with my radio, but it was well and truly broken. I'd have to ask Charlie for the money, because I couldn't afford to fix it. As the town's lights came into view, a searing pain tore through my abdomen, causing me to slam on the brakes as a reflex.
I cried out in pain wondering what on earth had happened. I honestly thought I had been shot or stabbed. With no gunshot, and no sharp objects or people in sight, it didn't take me long to rule those out.
I fumbled in my pocket for my phone, my eyes beginning to gleam over with unshed tears due to the pain. Hitting one on my speed-dial, I tried to hold the phone up to my ear, not wanting to take my arms away from their spot around my waist.
"Hey, Bells, what's up? You back in Forks yet?" Jasper's voice floated out of the handset to me, and I gasped as another shooting pain fired through me.
"Jasper...I need you..."
"Shit, Bella, what's wrong?" His voice was beginning to panic, but everything was beginning to fuzz over.
"Outside town, the diner side..." I dropped the phone to the floor of my truck and cried out again as I clutched at my body. I felt a warm sensation creep over my legs and I looked down. There was blood soaking through my jeans, and I cried out in fear.
As far as I could tell, Jasper was still on the line with me, and I prayed that he was coming to find me. I had never experienced such intense pain. Blackness overwhelmed me, hand-in-hand with an ice-cold chill, as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice over me.
Bella's POV: Now
"Bells...Bella?" Jasper's voice floated through to my subconscious. When I opened my eyes, I was no longer in pain in my truck, but tucked up safe and warm with Jasper.
"Bella, your parents are home." He smiled down at me from where he was perched up on his elbow, and I groaned. I did not want to face either of my parents. Too late.
"Bells, you okay?" Charlie's voice was followed by his head as he popped round the door to my room. "Jasper...sorry, I didn't know you were here, son." I didn't bother looking up, instead keeping my head tucked into his shoulder.
"It's okay, sir. Bella here isn't feeling too well so I stayed with her after school." I could hear the politeness dripping off Jasper's voice as he spoke to my father, and I fought my eye roll.
"Right, well, we'll ah...leave you two be." Charlie was never comfortable being in my room, so it wasn't surprising that he wanted out as quickly as he had come in.
I felt Jasper's chuckle vibrate through him and into me where I was still curled up into his side. As I looked over his chest I noticed that it was dark out, and that the rain had finally ceased. That, in itself, was a miracle.
"Jazz, I'm just going to sleep. You should get home." I yawned halfway through my sentence as if to make a point, and rolled over when Jasper pulled away.
"I'll come check on you in the mornin', okay?" I nodded, suddenly sleepier than I had previously been. I smiled lazily as he kissed me on the forehead.
"Love you, Jazz," I mumbled. He threw a "Love you back" as he closed my bedroom door quietly behind him.
I listened as carefully as I could as he spoke briefly to my parents, before I heard the front door open and close. I let my eyes flutter close, deciding not to fight it. Even though it was impossible I would step straight back into the same dream, I wanted the blackness to take me. I was more likely to think less when I was unconscious.
What felt like minutes later, there was a light tap at my window, but I played it down to the rain starting up and ignored it. When it didn't happen again I thought I had imagined it, until I heard one more distinctive tap. It couldn't be the branch of the tree because I'd be able to hear the wind.
Not really sure I would find anything; I got out of bed and wandered over to the window. I lifted it quietly and poked my head out.
It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the dull light outside, the nearest street light not working. With the porch light off, a figure at the bottom of the tree was only just discernible. I ruled out it being Jasper, because he would have simply used the door. I gasped as he finally came into view.
What was he doing at God knows what time of night, tapping on my window like it was some Shakespeare play? I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't imagining things. He was still there.
"What are you doing here?" My voice sounded a little too loud for the imposing silence, causing me to lower it nearer the end of my question.
"Move, Bella. I'm coming up." His voice copied mine and stayed quiet.
We both knew this was a bad idea. Whether my parents liked him or not, climbing into my room in the middle of the night was a no in every parent's book.
But what did I do? I moved to let him in, of course.
Author's Chapter End Notes:
Ah! A mini cliffie...that's my first ever one!
Who's it gonna be? Jake? Edward? Emmetttttt? Who knows...
Let me know what you think...and who you think it should be...most popular choice is the one it's gonna be, so you guys decide :)
Let's see who's Team what?
Reviews are like sugar coated Edwards! :) Please?
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