"Come on Sammy," Dean shouted over his shoulder. Sam banged his head against the doorframe (yet again) in his haste to follow.
"Where're ya goin'?" Kaylee stuck her head out the engine-room door. Her forehead was smudged with grease and her hands twisted in a filthy rag that looked suspiciously like a sock.
"Flyin'," Dean's face melted into a rare heartfelt smile. "Baby's been on lockdown too long. I'm going to take her for a spin to warm up her engines. Wanna come?"
"Do I ever!" Kaylee burst into a grin of her own. "I've been wanting to see that beauty go through her paces ever since I saw her. Gimme five to get cleaned up?"
"That'll give Sammy time to braid his hair," Dean joked good-naturedly. His little brother just shot him a bitch face.
"You should clean off the pull-out seats, Simon has no place to sit," Sam informed his sibling.
"So that's what you were doing all last night," Dean rubbed his temple. "And it figures that fancy-pants is coming," Dean rolled his eyes. "I've not even invited him yet… anyone else I should be expecting?"
"Zoë's with Wash," Sam looked at his brother like he was stupid.
"I'm right here, Sam," the woman in question called up from the bay area below. Her hands smoothed her dress over her ever-swelling belly. "Where you off to?"
"Dean's driving," Sam said like it was a destination.
"We're going to let the aepyceros run unfettered across the plain," River spun out of the hall leading to her bedroom. "Watch their hooves pound up dust like stars."
"The what are runnin' where?" Jayne sat down his weights with a clank. He'd been exercising in the hold, as usual.
"Impala," Cas tilted his head. He'd seemingly appeared on the walkway from nowhere, as was his custom. "Aepyceros is the genus of animals that impalas belonged to. Dean's ship class is named after the fleet-footed creatures."
"Can I shoot 'em?" Jayne asked.
"You're shootin' nothing, 'cept what shoots at us," Mal ordered as he walked in from the kitchen. "If you're headed to town, pick up some water filters and another tub of powdered milk: we're running low."
"Yessir," Dean threw a sloppy salute. "Alright," he called out to the room at large. "Who's coming with and who's staying put?"
In the end, Mal and Zoë were the only ones to remain behind. Mal because he wanted some peace and quiet for once, and Zoë because she didn't want to subject her baby to any excessive G-forces if she could help it. Inara was already in town with a client.
Most of the crew had never been in the Impala before. It was Dean's sanctuary, after all, and he was ridiculously territorial about it. It was approximately the same size as Inara's shuttle, but with a long rectangular shape instead of an oval. The engine room in the back took up a full quarter of the available space. A kitchenette and a tiny bathroom took up another quarter. There was a gap above both areas just big enough for a mattress and someone to sleep on it. The remaining half was usually an open living area, but it was currently filled with two rows of leather-padded seats. Dean settled into the pilot's chair, while Sam motioned for Kaylee to take his usual co-pilot seat. He sat down next to River, who was seated next to Simon. Jayne and Cas sat in the back. Everyone marveled at the excellent view the large windows afforded as Dean undocked from Serenity and pulled the ship up to a good sight-seeing height. Rolling hills stretched in all directions for as far as the eye could see. The sky was a bright blue overhead, dotted with too-white-to-be-real clouds.
"Town's that way," Dean pointed. A small smudge of civilization could be seen near the horizon. "But I don't want to have to pay a speeding ticket today, so we're going to head this way for a bit to let off some steam. Shiny?"
"Shiny Cap'n," Kaylee chirped. Jayne opened his mouth like he was going to object, but then closed it with a sharp snap when he realized the mechanic was technically correct. This was Dean's ship, after all. The man in question smiled before throwing a few switches.
"Hold on to your hats," was all the warning he gave before the engine gave a mighty roar.
"None of us are wearing head coverings," Cas managed to observe before they were gone.
Jayne raised an eyebrow in appreciation as they sped past the hills with ever-increasing rapidity.
"How fast will this thing go?" Simon asked, his voice almost as tight as his grip on the seat underneath him.
"As fast as I want her to be, and a little faster when I need her to be," Dean smiled cavalierly.
"Why? You scared?" Jayne teased the doctor.
"I have observed this ship traveling at several times the speed of sound," Cas contributed.
"This ship wasn't made to withstand that kind of speed!" Simon squeaked.
"Perhaps not originally," Kaylee spoke up from behind them. She'd gone to check the engine room. "But this ship's been rebuilt at least twice. She'll break the sound barrier with a smile."
"Three times," Sam corrected her. "She's been 'totaled' three times, but Dean seems to like fixing hopeless cases."
"Damnit, Sammy," Dean growled. "And here I was, getting hopeful that I wouldn't have to nurse Baby back to fightin' form again."
"Does that mean we're going to crash?" Simon asked nervously.
"Not today," River patted her brother's arm soothingly. "Everything is perfect today."
"Yes it is," Sam pecked her cheek. She turned to kiss him again on the lips.
"Ugh, get a room," Dean gave them a glare through a rear-facing mirror. "And stay out of my engines!" he added after River glanced suggestively towards the door.
"You were fixin' to break the barrier sometime today?" Jayne brought them back on-topic.
"Already did," Kaylee said with not a little awe in her voice as she consulted one of the readouts on the dash. "Usually there's a bit of a bump when Serenity does that, and she can only do it in space. How'd you manage to pull that off in atmo?"
Dean launched into a complicated discussion of mechanics and various engine modifications.
"The world turns upside down," River stared at the ceiling. Sam turned to stare with her.
"Hey Dean, do a roll!" he called. Without breaking the flow of his discussion with Kaylee, Dean jerked the steering wheel hard to the right. Baby turned over, offering a whole different view of the planet below. Baby didn't have her gravity buffers on because they weren't in space, so everyone's hair hung towards the ceiling. After a long minute, Dean flipped them right side over again.
"I see why you cautioned us to hold on to our headgear earlier," Cas said dryly. River laughed at his hopelessly tostled hair.
"Can you pull an Pugachev's Cobra?" Jayne asked like it was a challenge.
"Please. I pulled my first full Kulbit when I was seven," Dean bragged, flipping a few more switches on his tricked-out dashboard.
"A what?" Simon asked nervously.
River started listing out physics formulas, with Sam chiming in overtop of her after a moment. Castiel listened to them attentively.
Kaylee took pity on her poor confused boyfriend. "For a Pugachev's Cobra, you start like this," she put her hand out, palm to the floor. "Then you tip the nose up like this," she angled her wrist back so that it pointed at a 45-degree angle to its previous position. "And then you pull it a bit further," she bent her elbow so that her fingertips were pointing a few degrees past vertical, "and then you go back down," she moved her hand back parallel to the floor. "It's a test for supermaneuverability, because you can't do it with normal winged plane aerodynamics. You slow down way too much. The wings won't get enough lift, and you'll just fall out of the sky."
"But we don't have wings," Simon pointed out. "Not large ones, anyway."
"We fly on love and dreams," River traced an invisible pattern on the glass.
"A full Kulbit is when you keep tipping until you've done a loop," Kaylee continued. "You can do one with Serenity, but it ain't pretty."
"I'd bet," Dean spoke appreciatively. "Probably blow out the frizzion filters while you're at it."
"You betcha," Kaylee nodded. "But with your hapvees that won't be a problem."
"Here's a practical demonstration, oh ye of limited education," Dean threw a sassy grin at Simon over his shoulder. Moments later, they were tumbling in a head-over-heels loop. River and Sam burst into twin squeals of adrenaline and Kaylee laughed with glee. Dean let out a whoop as he pulled out of the maneuver and immediately turned his ship into a tight sideways spiral. Even Jayne gave an honest laugh as they twisted and turned through the air like a dancer. Cas remained as stoic as ever, while Simon looked increasingly pale.
"Zhè bǐ zài jī shè lǐ tiàowǔ de jī gèng yǒuqù," Kaylee breathed once it was all over.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Simon groaned.
"Again!" River cheered.
"That's nice and all, but can you do a straight line?" Sam teased his brother.
"I've not had a ride that good since that time I was with a chick named… never you mind," Jayne said with uncharacteristic admiration and characteristic lack of decorum. "Where'd you learn to do that?"
"Out in the Black," Dean shrugged while turning Baby towards town at a more reasonable speed than before. "Not much to do, and nothing much to hit if you mess up."
"You're self-taught?" Simon squeaked.
"Better pilot than Cas, with all his fancy training," Dean shot back defensively.
"He is correct," Castiel informed them, his face as unreadable as ever. "His aptitude tests were truly remarkable."
"Where'd you ever take an Alliance aptitude test, especially if you didn't have no formal training?" Kaylee asked innocently. Dean's hands tightened imperceptibly on the controls.
"Don't forget the milk," Sam said abruptly. "The Captain will miss it on his morning protein." The topic change went unnoticed, since Sam often said such incongruous things. Dean's grip on the steering wheel relaxed slightly.
"We won't, honey," Kaylee soothed.
"Since when does the Captain put milk on anything?" Jayne pointed out.
"Since Charlie started stealing his cereal because it's the only one that's not soggy," Sam said matter-of-factly. Zoë's baby wasn't due for another two months at least. Simon said she was expecting a girl, but Sam and River insisted on calling the child by a boy name, for some inexplicable reason.
"I don't care why we need the milk, as long as I get off this ship alive enough to fetch it," Simon muttered under his breath. Of course, everyone still heard him, and laughed uproariously at his expense.
