First of all, I AM SORRY! I have several reason this has taken like four months to get up, but none of them make any difference. I'm sorry. This chapter is a little shorter than I'd like it to be, but now I can get back on a schedule. School's starting up in two weeks or so, and with the schedule of school comes order in the rest of my life (which sucks), so we should be back on track now. Hope you guys had a great summer, I know mine could've been better. Anyway, enjoy!
Warnings: The title should begin to make sense...
"What's in this box?"
Axel leaned out of his closet, glancing to where Roxas sat on the floor near his bed. "What box?"
"This one," Roxas pulled an old shoe box out from under the bed.
Walking over to him, Axel replied, "I dunno. Open it up."
As he sat on the mattress in front of Roxas, Axel couldn't help but smile. Roxas was in his room, poking around in his stuff. Making room for the blonde to move in.
He flipped the lid off the box, revealing a small cache of cassette tapes.
"Oh, damn," Axel laughed, almost sheepishly, "I thought Demyx had these."
Roxas pulled out two or three, turning them over and wondering, "What are they?"
"Cassette tapes," The other replied, teasing heavily lacing his voice.
With a slight glare, Roxas retorted, "I can see that. But what are they?"
"I told you I was in a garage band, right?" Axel murmured, reaching for one. When Roxas nodded, he continued, "After we decided we had to stop, we got together to put everything down on tape. There's songs from everyone; we each wrote three or four new ones, then all the ones we'd written over the years. Basically, our first two years of high school lives in this box."
He held one up, adding, "This one has my songs on it."
"What does it say?" Roxas asked, pulling it from Axel's thin fingers. "On the label... Sincerely, The Cassette Tape. What does that mean?"
Axel smiled, a softly, almost tender gesture. "Just... my way of saying goodbye."
Roxas considered this for a moment, then asked, "Can I listen to it?"
"Um..." Axel rubbed the back of his neck, nervously, adding, "Really?"
Glancing up at him, Roxas shrugged and answered flippantly, "Yeah. Why not?"
How am I supposed to argue with that logic, Axel thought before replying, "It's not anything worth-"
"If you've held onto them for this long," Roxas contradicted, "They have to be worth something."
Axel stared at him, trying to decide if he was serious. "Okay, they're important to me. Why do you want to hear them?"
"Well," Roxas answered, "If they were my tapes, you'd want to listen to them, wouldn't you?"
Green eyes locked on his calculatingly for a moment, then he smiled and shook his head. "Can't believe this... I don't even think I have anything to play-"
Without further preamble, Roxas returned to under the bed, rummaging around before surfacing with a look of triumph.
Holding out an ancient looking answering machine.
"...And I bet that's the perfect size for the tapes," Axel muttered wryly, reaching for it.
Roxas shrugged, adding, "Don't act so offended. It's your own fault for keeping this machine around."
"Yeah, yeah, just give me the damn thing."
The machine was plugged in, functioned; the tape clicked perfectly into place, and Axel pulled Roxas back against his chest, holding him there tightly.
After a moment, the music started. It was slow, almost thick sounding. Quiet, pulsing bass; a careful tick-tick-tick of the drums.
A breathy voice murmured, "It's a cold connection, isn't it?"
That's Axel, Roxas realized with a start, but the higher, contemplative tones of the guitar had started, and he listened to Axel continue, quietly,
"Rubbing the sleep outta my eyes
'cause the moon's shining bright;
can't believe it took this long to realize
that nothing's all right."
A voice echoed Axel mournfully as he murmured again,"It's a cold connection- cold connection..."
"I see the faces, the blessed and damned
but they're all the same;
I guess I just had to understand
that I am insane."
Together with a new whispering voice, Axel and the first reiterated, "It's a cold connection- a cold connection..."
"As I walk the streets of pain,
along the road that never ends,
I laugh at the muddy stains
and the truth begins to transcend.
Things are not well in my life,
people tell me time and time again,
You won't find some better place
'cause all this will come to an end."
Now alone, Axel sounded thoughtful as he continued, "It's a cold connection, it's a-
"Me and the world have a cold connection
it doesn't understand its power within
This place and the person I have become
are running me thin and rough and tiresome
and I won't- I can't- find my sigh, my reprieve.
"As I walk the streets of pain,
along the road that never ends
I laugh at the muddy stains
and the truth begins to transcend.
"It's a cold connection-
It's a cold connection, isn't it?"
"Isn't it?" Axel continued, as the tape whirled, ready to move onto the next song.
Roxas stopped it, gobsmacked as he was, turning to glance up at Axel. "You wrote that?"
"Had a lot of time on my hands, I guess," Was the redhead's excuse.
Turning his whole body, moving to straddle Axel's hips, demanding lightly, "When did you write this?"
"Spring of... Sophomore year?" He rolled his eyes and offered, "When I was fifteen. That's my best answer."
"Who else was singing with you?" Roxas asked, eyes bright and intrigued. "Who played the instruments?"
Axel laughed, sheepishly, answering, "The first to join in was Demyx. The second was Reno. Demyx was on bass, Reno lead guitar, and his buddy Rude played drums. Usually."
"It doesn't even sound like you!" The younger admonished, adding, "Or Demyx!"
With a small grin, Axel reached out and fussed with the blonde spikes as he returned, "Well remember, we were in the middle of high school. We've all changed a lot since then."
"Yeah..." Roxas considered this, and, with a shrug, admitted, "I've changed too, I guess. I can't deny that."
There was a warm light to his eyes, but still Roxas seemed almost regretful. Axel kissed him, gently, trying to keep him from thinking. He worried that he'd never understand what had happened to Roxas in his past that made him so repentant. For now, he decided, I just have to try to be here for him.
Roxas leaned around Axel's torso, pulling the box holding the other cassettes into their lap. "You should put these on a CD in case something happens to the tapes."
"I wouldn't have the faintest idea how to do that," Axel chuckled, resting their heads together to stare into the box. "I'm about as technological as a rock."
Blue eyes rolled tenderly, "I hardly believe that. But I'll take care of it."
"The great and mighty Roxas will take care of my music?" Teasing, warm and light. With a small grin, Axel continued, "I'm honored."
"As well you should be," Teased the other right back, standing carefully. "Let's take a break. You should eat."
Following him, Axel wondered, "I should eat? Like, just me, or both of us and just especially me?"
Roxas turned his head from the doorway; he flashed a smoldering look, one filled with something like suppressed want and passion. Is that all love is? Wanting and needing and not having until it drives you to the edge of your sanity and the person who causes that pain is the only one who can save you?
But then the look was gone, and Roxas just turned and continued into the next room.
And for a moment, Axel couldn't move. His legs shook, thinking of that stare. Gods, when had he become so weak? When did he lose all control of himself, lose control of everything? What was he supposed to do with himself now? But he shook his head as clear as he could (you're just being an idiot), and started after Roxas.
He made it just to the door when he bumped into the blonde, who seemed mildly caught of guard and balance.
Axel scooped him up quickly, pressing his back against a wall and supporting the small body with his arms before Roxas could put up a fight.
"What are you doing?"
Axel shrugged, loving how Roxas had wrapped his legs around his hips instantly. "I dunno. What are you doing?"
"I forgot to answer your question," Roxas answered, adding, "We're both eating, but especially you."
Grinning, Axel murmured, "Sounds good... I just realized something."
"...That sounds like a trap," Roxas said suspiciously, "And I don't want to ask, but what did you realized?"
He received no answer at first; Axel leaned close, breathing against Roxas's ear and throat, pressing his lips along the jugular and collarbone.
Then, he replied, "The bruise is fading... I should stop that."
"Wha-"
Suddenly, Axel's teeth bit down viciously on the marred skin, squeezing almost tenderly as Roxas strangled the startled groan that threatened to tear itself from his lips. Roxas's hands were twisting tightly into the material of Axel's shirt, his back arching against the hot chest, begging for release. His breath came in short, half-choked gasps, trembling, until Axel finally relinquished his hold, though kept Roxas's back against the wall. Roxas, against his own will, tensed and tightened until he couldn't let himself down and clung to Axel.
"Did I break you?" The redhead asked, almost teasingly, but with slight concern as well.
In response, Roxas growled, head on Axel's shoulder, "If you put me down, I won't be able to get up."
Axel chuckled warmly. "I guess I shouldn't jump you like that."
"No, you shouldn't, you jerk!" Roxas tightened his grip, shaking and turning just a little bit red.
Sheepishly, Axel murmured, "I couldn't resist. Your big-blue-eyes just sucked me in."
"Don't make this my fault," Chided the blonde, not unkindly, "Now take me to the couch before I stab you."
With a gentle kiss to Roxas's cheek, Axel pulled him close and walked to the living room, sitting with Roxas in his lap.
"Better?"
Roxas had stopped shaking for the most part, though his spine was still curled and didn't seem to want to relax.
Damn him. But he pressed his lips to the side of Axel's neck and replied, "I'm getting there."
"Is this how you usually react to being bitten?" Asked he with another kiss.
Glaring at Axel (though he knew it didn't make a difference), Roxas replied, "Depends on the situation, I guess. It's happened before, if that's what you're asking."
"So how long does this paralysis last?" Axel continued.
Roxas took a deep breath and answered, "I have almost no idea."
"Anything I can do to help?" Then, before Roxas could answer, "Besides not do it again? Because I will, you know."
Of course you will, Roxas sighed, responding, "Nothing comes to mind. I just have to sit for a min-"
His voice broke as Axel ran his hands from the base of his back all the way to his shoulders; then, with just his fingertips, Axel started drawings swirls and circles that started at the spine and reached out across his back, pausing when he reached Roxas's hips. For a moment, it almost seemed that he'd made it worse. Then Roxas arched his back, pressing his chest against Axel's for a moment as he stretched, taking a deep breath before chuckling.
"You fixed me." He stayed pressed against the redhead, adding quietly, "You're forgiven."
He wanted to fix him. Axel would've done anything to keep Roxas from losing his memories. If there was something he could do, he would, without a second thought. And he wanted to tell Roxas all this, but he knew the blonde would only scold him. Actually, what he wanted to tell Roxas was I love you. But he couldn't do that. It killed him, but he couldn't say it.
Instead, he just smiled softly and replied, "You're welcome."
Again, really sorry for such a long delay!
