This was happening far too often, a small part of Castiel's mind whispered. The rest of him was occupied with not crashing into the walls as he tore through the bunker, heaving in panic, his heart pounding in his ears and cutting off the call of Dean, and the surprised note of Sam as he passed him by.
What he'd nearly done...
He could still feel the way the wall of Dean's throat gave away against his push, the way he struggled against him, ineffectually shoving at his chest, but unable to get free. He could have killed Dean in that moment, so easily, and a part of him wanted to push just a little harder. The thought terrifies him. This time he was ithere/i, not in Heaven under Naomi's control; Crowley said the demon could influence but not control, and the thought made him nauseous.
Castiel slammed through the metal doors of the bunker, and out into the cool night air. It was immediately soothing to his flushed face and stinging eyes.
He should have stayed, asked Crowley how to get it out, but Dean's face turning red, choking under his hands. This hellish influence was only pulling up feelings that were already there, ones he hated and tried to hide and forget. The rage that had surged up when he'd touched him; everything between him and Dean that he tried to never think about because it hurt and it wasn't fair to be mad at Dean when he'd done so much ishit/i. He had no right to swallow a bitter taste every time Dean was callous or cruel...but he did.
Castiel pulled in a breath, and lifted his head, his gaze fixing on the stars. The position felt much like the night he'd fallen, and then watched his brothers and sisters plummet to the earth. Like now, his emotions were in a turmoil that night too, but the sight of the stars, and a few deep breaths were calming him. He exhaled slowly.
"That was quite a hot little scene back there." Said a voice from behind him. It was chillingly familiar and far too close, and Castiel froze. "Frankly, I'm jealous. I thought we had that spark, you know?"
Slowly, Castiel turned around. Anger rose again, but this time a pure disgusted anger that shoved away all his fear and panic of the last few days. Here was something he could kill.
"Abraxas." Castiel growled, and the demon laughed in response, stepping out of the shadows. Surrounding him were six other demons, riding the bodies of poor attractive men and women that seemed to always attract the demonic host.
Abraxas smirked and cocked a hip, tilting his head. "Well, Cas. I suppose I just can't compete with iDean/i."
Castiel flexed his fingers, wishing for his blade. In the haze of panic, he couldn't remember where he'd dropped it.
"You put something inside me."
"Figured out that much, did we? Did you like it? I did." Abraxas smiled a sickening grin. Castiel narrowed his eyes.
"Take it out."
"Mn, no. It's incredibly useful, you know." Abraxas replied, picking at a nail.
"Is that how you found me? Tracking me here," Castiel felt a sharp pang of regret at allowing himself to be brought here. He'd led the demons right to Sam and Dean's front door, which was the last thing he'd wanted.
Abraxas twisted his mouth to the side. "If only it was that easy. You, sir, need to get out more. Slept the whole way here, and then didn't come outside again for days. I mean, come on!"
Castiel frowned.
"What does that mean?"
"Oh, it took some effort. I could see what you saw, feel what you felt, but I couldn't find you. Really embarrassing, you know. I was starting to get nervous." Abraxas clapped his hands together. "But here you are, looking at the stars. I used to be a ship's navigator, so it was easy to pin your location after that."
Castiel tried to control himself, kept his old calm mask, but his insides were quivering, twisting with anger, fear and violation. The cold spot that was the demon's influence was so chill it burned.
Abraxas grinned widely, pleased with himself. He walked over to the metal wall of the bunker, and tapped on it. His nails made dull thuds and then he clicked his tongue.
"Didn't quite finish, I see." He turned and brushed his hands together, like the touch of the Winchesters left a residue he wanted to wipe off. "No matter. They'll come out eventually. I do have a hostage, after all."
Castiel's fingers twitched, and he was far too aware of the two demons who'd edged around behind him, ready to restrain him should he attempt any of the things he was longing to do. He wanted to grab Abraxas by the throat and strangle him, or better yet, fill the black pit inside the demon with the light of his grace, and burn it into nothingness. But he kept himself still, face impassive.
"So why scratch at the sigils. It seems a slow way to get inside."
Abraxas shrugged.
"Either you'd break through, or you'd come outside. I just had to wait."
"I could hardly do a good job in my sleep." Castiel lifted a hand and turned it to show the bloody knuckles. "I broke more skin than protections."
"Yes, it was a little tedious, but as you learned from that pitiful excuse for a demon, I can't control you. Not when you're conscious."
A chill settled through Castiel, anew over the ball of ice.
"Why so little, then? You could have had me kill Sam and Dean in their beds, or leave and come to you, or anything else your depraved mind came up with." Abraxas looked halfway between amused and annoyed.
"Yes, it could have been done much quicker, but I was enjoying seeing you squirm. And, a dream about killing the Winchesters would have woken you up before you could do much damage-those nightmares always do, don't they?"
A little relief at that.
"So what now? We wait for my friends to walk out into your trap. They're Winchesters, they'll know something's wrong. They won't fall for it."
"I think differently. You're little lovers spat with Dean will have him all in a tizzy. He's bound to come looking for you."
Castiel swallowed, and hoped Dean would be smarter than that. He let his eyes flicker around the area, taking in the door to the bunker- mere feet away- the deep shadows of the woods to the side of the road, the loose gravel and parked Impala directly in front of the steps to the door. If he could get past the line of enchantments, and back to safety, or distract them long enough to-
Abraxas snapped his fingers, and the two demons who'd been hovering stepped up quickly, and grabbed his arms. He struggled briefly, but they held him tight.
"Come on, Cas. I could feel you scheming." He said, half smiling.
Anger seethed inside him, at himself for waiting too long to move, for taking the time to relieve his curiosity. He wished he could call out to Dean, the way that Dean used to pray to him; tell him not to come out for anything, to leave him until Abraxas got bored waiting and took him away.
Unfortunately, that wouldn't have worked even had he still been an angel, as Dean didn't even have the capacity to listen like that. And he wouldn't follow such an order anyway.
It didn't matter, as moments later the clunking and clanging of the metal door opening sounded and Dean walked casually out of the bunker, his gait easy and relaxed.
Castiel opened his mouth to yell a warning, but the demons moved too fast, one of them elbowing him in the stomach and the other three overcoming Dean. With of yell of surprise, Dean was seized and pulled to his knees, his arms and legs splayed and outstretched painfully. Castiel could see the reddened bruises blooming on his neck, where he'd choked him, and felt illness shoot through him.
Dean struggled for a moment, and then stilled when he caught sight of Castiel. Abraxas chuckled from the sidelines of the struggle, and Dean's eyes flickered to him, and then to Castiel again.
"What the hell is going on? You okay, Cas?"
"He's perfect." Abraxas purred, and Dean's eyes narrowed, traveling down Abraxas' body, lifting an eyebrow.
"This the demon that got you? He's kinda wimpy looking. We gotta work on your training." Dean lifted his jaw, and earned a cuff around the head from one of the demon's holding him. Abraxas merely smiled at the insult, and stepped close to Dean. He ran a soft hand down Dean's face, and Dean's cheek twitched as he tried not to cringe back. A hot flash of rage seared the ice in Castiel's chest for a moment.
"Don't touch him!" He snapped. Abraxas pulled his hand back, and smirked.
"Someone jealous?"
Castiel stayed silent. Abraxas turned to a demon and snapped his fingers again.
"Search him."
Dean stayed very still as the demonic hands ran down his body, under his jacket and shirt, and around the waistband of his jeans. They pulled out his usual gun, Ruby's knife, and then to his surprise, the angel blade he'd dropped inside. Castiel's eyes followed the dull silver shine until the demons stepped back, and Dean sagged a little. Dean then met his gaze and smiled a little, eyebrow raised.
"You dropped it back there. Thought you might need it back." He said. Castiel felt his face soften, his heart clenching at Dean's forgiveness. He sent him a small smile, gratitude pinching him. Even after every hurt Castiel had laid on him, Dean still found some small faith in him. It was incomprehensible, but touching.
Abraxas sighed dramatically.
"Well, this is lovely, but let's get this show on the road, shall we?"
Dean straightened as much as he could, giving off perfect ease even though his body was forced into a half bowed position.
"So what's the plan, then? Possession? Torture? Killing? Been there, done that, bought the tee shirt." A cold smile hitched up Dean's lips, so different than the one he'd had directed at Castiel.
Castiel swallowed his nerves at Dean's easy mockery. He recalled a scene years ago, when Dean had done the same thing to a trapped Raphael. He didn't feel any better about it now than he did then.
Abraxas crossed his arms, sighing a bit.
"Well, honestly I don't know what's in store for you. Abaddon wants you. All of you. We have to wait for Sammy, she's especially ticked off at him, and then we'll get going. As for in the meantime, there's no reason we can't have a little fun while we wait."
Dean snorted. "You really think that will work? Sam's not just gonna come waltzing out into your waiting arms, he's smarter than that."
"It worked on you, my dear." Abraxas said to Dean. Dean's smile didn't falter.
"I never said I was the smart one."
As if on cue, a strange spitting noise started coming from all around them, all along the line of the building. A few seconds in which the demons and Castiel all looked around stupidly, and then a cold spray began to rain down on the group. The demons immediately began screaming, steaming from burns when the water hit their exposed skin. Dean shook off his bucking restrainers, and stood, grinning.
"Holy water sprinklers, you assholes!" He yelled, and lunged towards the one that held his weapons.
Sam ran from the back side of the bunker, bearing an angel blade, and fell in with the knot of writhing demons.
Castiel jerked free of his captors, and dug an elbow into the nose of the closest, before swinging his leg under them both and sending them to the ground.
Abraxas was growling, yelling in pain and anger as the holy water dripped down his face leaving a nasty burn in its wake. The water was cold to Castiel, but he didn't notice through the pump of adrenalyn and rage. Castiel blinked some water out of his eyes, and stepped towards Abraxas, gritting his teeth at this thing that had dared threaten his family, and violate him with its evil.
"Cas," Dean's voice cut through the chaos, and then his blade flashed through the downpour for him to catch in a slick palm. Castiel gripped his sword, feeling that old righteous anger, that might. In that moment, he didn't even miss his grace.
The water still poured down, running along the planes of Castiel's face, and waterlogging his clothes, but he barely noticed as he turned and slit the throat of the nearest demon. They were all distracted, burning and screaming at the pain, save for Abraxas. He kept enough of his wits to move to the edge of the spray, and step out from the line of falling water.
He looked back, and met Castiel's eyes through the stream. His chin lifted, and Castiel responded, stepping forward determinately. His fear of this creature was gone, but Abraxas grinned as he approached.
"Just you and I again, darling. It does pose a wonderful literary parallel."
Castiel stood straight, just inside the line of water, still in safety. His hand gripped his blade, feeling again like an avenging angel, like he hadn't for so long.
"You will take your filth out of me, and then I will destroy you." Castiel said. Abraxas titled his head.
"You know, neither one is ireally/i a good option for me. Is there a choice number three?"
Castiel bowed his head, narrowing his eyes, not breaking his gaze. He lifted his sword into a ready position. Abraxas took this in, and smiled.
"That's more like it." He drew a long knife, almost a machete and mirrored Castiel's fighting stance. A grim smile edged onto both of their faces.
As one, they leapt forward, blades extending. Castiel swiped at Abraxas' throat, and Abraxas jerked back, spinning on one foot to put him under Castiel's attack. He pushed his blade forward, and Castiel dodged it, blocking the arm strike with his forearm. They paused for a moment, suspended, before Abraxas kicked out, and caught Castiel in the stomach.
He fell back, gasping. Abraxas straightened up, grinning now, and lunged forward again. Castiel's heart pounded. He wasn't used to this, not as a human, and his breath wasn't coming. His wet clothes weighed him down, and made his joints slow and cold. He needed to finish this quickly.
Castiel caught Abraxas' descending arm, and held it back, grunting with the effort. Abraxas growled, trying to push it down, the point hovering over his chest. Castiel twisted around, and shoved him back hard enough to send him to the ground. While he was down, Castiel flipped the blade in his fingers, and jumped forward, trying to dig the sword into Abraxas' exposed back. The demon was fast, though, and he righted himself, to meet him blade to blade as he came down. The crash shuddered up the bones in Castiel's arm, and then a fist slammed into his cheek.
Castiel fell back, and rolled, before coming to his feet again. The spray of holy water was right behind, pricking cold on the skin of his neck. Abraxas snarled at him, teeth white in darkness as Castiel took the moment of cover to breathe past the pain in his cheekbone.
"More of a challenge this time, I see." Abraxas said. "Got your old angel toy back."
A glare. "I've been fighting with a blade for a millenia. You won't win, demon."
"But, do you want to win? That little piece of me won't die if you kill me. It'll just stay, rotting and decaying the rest of your soul, until you're just like me."
Abraxas lunged forward in the wake of his words, and Castiel hurriedly lifted his fallen guard, and caught Abraxas in a long gash along the side. He turned, and dodged another strike, and lost his holy water wall.
Their blades crossed again, and Abraxas pulled his face close to his own.
"You'll be twisted and evil, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself." He whispered. Castiel roared, and threw off his sword arm, catching him under the weak side with another stab wound. Not deep enough, but Abraxas staggered backwards, cringing and laughing.
"I don't believe you!" Castiel rushed him again, and in his haste didn't block. He gasped as a hot pain pierced his side, just above his hip bone. Warm blood flowed, but Abraxas didn't finish the job, pulling back instead. Castiel put his empty hand to the wound.
"Do you want to chance it, Cas?" Abraxas was too close, gloating over Castiel hunched form. Castiel panted, feeling the liquid running out, and the beginnings of shock shiver through him. Every part of him didn't want to believe what Abraxas was saying, idemon's lie, demons' lie/i was pulsing through his brain, but then Dean's voice came to him, saying they'd figure it out. It would be okay. And he trusted Dean far more than this demon here.
With a yell of pain and anger, Castiel shoved his blade up, and into the soft flesh of Abraxas' belly, just under his ribcage. The blade went in easily, straight up into his heart. Abraxas jerked, eyes wide and light flashed around the wound, and through his ribs, out the eye sockets. He gasped, once, and then fell forward heavily onto the ground.
Castiel jerked his sword out. A moment passed, and then as the dying lights flickered a new pain came searing up inside Castiel's ribcage. The ball of ice and demonic essence was spasming, igniting, burning through him. Castiel cried out, stumbling to the ground, and landing on his knees. He pressed his hands to the fire and watched with horror as the same flickering demonic lights showed the bones of his own chest underneath his grasp.
"Cas!" Dean's voice sounded, close to his ear, but Castiel couldn't respond. He groaned, and squeezed his eyes shut so he didn't have to see the hell fire consume his body, writhing as he distinctly felt hands grab him and hold him, a desperate grip around his shoulders, and cradling his head.
The pain ramped up, and he screamed. Then something horrid was twisting just behind his throat, and Castiel was turned to the side, choking on ash and sulphur. He leaned out of Dean's arms, and gagged out a stream of black-not liquid, but smoke. The demon essence spun out from his mouth, and hit the ground, burning black and orange into the dirt. Castiel coughed again, and gasped.
Things were still for a moment, save the heavy up and down of Castiel's chest, and the pounding of Dean's heart behind his back. Inside, he felt wrung dry, but clean, no longer tainted. The relief was greater than he could have imagined, making him limp-limbed.
"Cas?" Dean's voice was right above him, and Castiel flickered his closed eyes, opening them to see Dean's face. "Cas, are you okay?" Dean was dripping water on him from his hair and the end of his nose. Castiel huffed a little.
He squinted up at Dean. "You're getting me wet." He stated, and Dean blinked.
"You're just as soaked as I am, you bastard." Dean said after a moment, breaking into a laugh that Castiel could feel in Dean's chest and all through him. Dean then dragged him upwards, throwing his arms around Castiel's back and shoulders. Castiel let out a long shaky breath, and tucked his face into Dean's neck. He clutched back, and his chest hitched.
"Dean, I'm sorry."
"It's okay, it's not your fault."
Castiel nodded slightly, and pulled back. The adrenalyn and aftershock of the fight and the demon thing dying was fading and Castiel was becoming highly aware of the stab wound in his side.
"You okay?"
"Ah, not entirely." He put a shaky hand against it, and Dean swore and removed the hand to look at the wound, and then covered Castiel's hand with his own.
"Doesn't look too bad. We'll get you patched up. What about the demon thing?"
Castiel nodded. "It's gone."
Sam came over then, his long hair plastered to his head and a grin on his face.
"That was some fight, Cas." He said, kneeling down, and patting him on his shoulder. "Dean was biting his nails the whole time."
Dean shot Sam a look, but then smiled at Castiel all the same.
