The Fixer

Chapter 9: But, We Had A Date...


Talking to Bucky about her treatment was like trying to dance across a trail of razor blades. Especially when it came to the life saving drug she was currently hooked up to. Bucky hated being in that chair next to her. He hated hospitals. He hated doctors. He hated everything about the medical field. She was lucky he loved her enough to endure it all with her, even if it was just for a week.

When the radiologist walked through the room to connect the IV of clear fluids to her arm, Katie could see the muscles of Bucky's jaw clench. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Bucky was completely and utterly terrified. Terrified that this was some kind of ruse to catch him and keep him here for testing, or, that these drugs were going to turn his girl into a mindless zombie and he'd be forced to end her life.

Time and time again Katie had to remind him that she had a fully functioning brain and that this decision was hers. Even after Steve sat her down and explained everything about Hydra, she still chose to go through with it. Steve let her in on all the horrible things that happened to Bucky while he was programmed for their uses as the Winter Soldier. After their little sit down, Katie read up everything she could find about Hydra in its Wikipedia form. She knew why Bucky was so angry and scared. He wanted to kill every last Hydra operative. But Katie couldn't let him do that, especially after she realized that her brothers, and parents, were probably deeply involved in the organization. She hadn't been indoctrinated the way others had, neither had her older brother. Miles appeared completely oblivious to it all as he prepared for his next tour in Afghanistan.

Kyle was under the impression that he was a sales representative for a well-established medical company and that he was just helping his little sister. Her parents were heading the Eastern hub of Hydra's medical influence. They also thought that they were helping humanity cure one of the world's most devastating diseases.

Bucky went to each and every appointment that week. All of this was because her parents sold their soul to the devil in exchange for their daughter's life. He was convinced that the doctors would do something wrong and accidentally kill her. He watched their motions like an overly protective lion over his cub. One of Hydra's goals was to eliminate unworthy humans. They were using people like Katie as test subjects. In this case, for whatever reason, she was actually responding to the experimental treatment.

For the first time in his life, Bucky was hesitant to stop Hydra, or, at least this experiment. Even though he knew deep in his heart that he needed to save the lives of hundreds of thousands of people, there was only one on his mind. The girl with the black striped beanie who held his hand tightly as the nurse stuck her arm with a needle. Pain blossomed in his heart as she grew more, and more dead to the world. Morphine kept her from feeling the pain of the chemical as it flooded her body.

If his team stopped Hydra's labs before her treatment was completed, Katie would die. There was zero chance of recovery for her angio-blah-blah-blah. It would spread until she was nothing more than a writhing shell of a person, then die, miserably.

Katie was always sick after her treatments. Kyle, her older brother, invited them to stay, just so long as Bucky didn't go anywhere near Katie's room when she was sleeping. And, as long as Steve stayed with them. Kyle had every bit of Captain America paraphernalia in existence, including a 'Bucky Barnes' poster with his birth and 'death' dates. Steve was staying in the guest bedroom while Bucky stayed up every night to hold Katie on the bathroom floor while she vomited her body weight in fluids. He generally slept for an hour or two on the couch before Steve woke him up so they could run.

At one point during their short one-week stay, Katie was weakened to the point where she could no longer stand. Maybe the drugs were curing the cancer but they were just killing her anyway.

The oncologist told her that if she quit now, her heart would stop within a week.

Bucky hated bringing her there. It was so depressing. They didn't have much more time together before he left for Russia. So, on Friday, just two days before he was set to leave, Bucky went so far as driving past the hospital and taking her to the Brooklyn Bridge. She argued with him the whole way, but she was so weak that when she pushed him that her whole body trembled from the effort.

Awe filled her childlike expression when they watched the sun rise from the bridge.

That day was a victory in his eyes.

He took her to see the store that bought the building where he and Steve grew up. He had to begrudgingly admit that the deli on the first floor had some damn good prosciutto. And, although she couldn't eat much, Katie agreed with a little dance when he tore off a small piece for her.

He managed to make her laugh when he lifted a car to help a couple of kids get their baseball, then again when he carried her to the edge of the Hudson to skip rocks. She had never skipped a rock before so he made it his goal to help her do it. They sat on a broad, flat rock right by the edge. The murky scent of stagnant, river water wafted from the surface. Bucky sat behind Katie so she wouldn't fall back or feel weak. Katie appreciated his preemptive thinking; she hated to ask for help. It was like admitting she was broken. A small, flat rock appeared in her palm. Bucky arranged her fingers around it, holding her hand within his own. He took her hand and flicked it forward, fast. The rock released, skipping three times across the glassy black water before sinking. Pale lips pulled into a bright smile that made Bucky's heart sing. He repeated the process with progressively larger rocks, even when she tried to escape his grip, until Katie was coughing from the effort of laughing.

Watching the early afternoon sun reflected on the water, her smile twitched at the corners, then dropped entirely. She went very still. So still that Bucky placed his head between her shoulder and ear to make sure she was all right, leaning his chin into the hollow between her collarbone and throat. Eyes wide and rolling without direction or purpose, Katie's breaths became punctuated with small sobs.

"Buck." Her heart pounded as her throat tightened with fear. "I can't see."

...

Slowly, over the course of three hours in the ER, Katie regained her sight. The prognoses was bad, Katie knew this. They didn't need a CT scan to tell her there were tumors in her brain. It was a true death sentence. She was happy that the doctor spoke in massive words so Bucky couldn't understand. She didn't lie to him, but she also wasn't perfectly forthcoming. It's not like the doctor actually told her she had tumors, she had refused the scan.

The younger doctor left the room. Bucky was sitting on a chair next to the hospital bed, squeezing her hand a little too tightly. Blue eyes begged her to explain what was happening.

"The doctor thinks it's because I've missed two treatments this week." Although Katie didn't mean for it to come off as an accusation, Bucky obviously took it as one. "It's not your fault. I'd rather spend my time laughing than high on morphine."

...

"Ugh, this song is so bad."

The music grew incrementally louder. Katie danced, badly, from her wheelchair on Saturday. It was funny how she knew every word to a song she claimed to hate.

It was also funny that Kyle wouldn't admit that he was an alcoholic.

"Why do you turn bad songs up, and good songs down?" Kyle asked smilingly, taking a swig of wine. The man was tanked and it was only noon.

Katie rolled her eyes poignantly at her big brother from the opposite side of the balcony. "Only bad songs are good to dance to."

"Not true." Bucky interjected as he scrubbed his hair with a hand towel. "The best songs should be good for dancing, too."

"Back in your day, music was made my smashing rocks together, so you have no room to judge." Bucky raised a brow at Katie who grinned like a fool.

The four of them were sprawled about the balcony in different states of relaxation. Everyone was bundled up for the cool weather. For October it was really freezing. Kyle was laying far enough back in his chair that his butt was falling off the seat, a scarf wrapped around his shaved head. Bucky was leaning in through the open glass door, freshly showered, scrubbing his hair with a white hand towel. And Steve was learning how Bluetooth signals worked from Katie as she danced in her wheelchair, pointing from his phone to the iHome. Steve twitched to catch the chair when she tried to pop a wheelie, she gave a mocking scowl and rolled to the door; Bucky bowed out of the way and followed her with his eyes.

Pulling an IV bag from a low pantry, Jade licked her face. She laughed, pushed the big black animal away. Bucky's narrowed gaze at the clear fluid didn't escape anyone's notice as he tried to read the small letters on the side. "What's that, Kate?"

Kyle raised a brow at him sardonically. "What? A little heroin never hurt anyone."

"Oh, please. Meth is my drug of choice anyway." Katie quipped as she opened another low cabinet.

Katie rolled back out to her male companions with the plastic bag laid across her lap, one hand holding it secure as she bounced over the small step back onto the balcony. Both Steve and Bucky glanced from each other, to the needle in Katie's closed hand. Light flashed on Steve's phone, he shared a secretive look with Bucky, and then strode into the apartment. The small click of the front door was quiet enough to ignore.

Katie cleaned the left subcubital fossa, er, the inside of her elbow before sticking the butterfly needle through her skin, taping it down immediately to stop the slight blood.

"What is that?" Bucky asked again without a hint of humor this time. He could see the lie brewing behind her slight smirk, so he preempted it by clarifying: "What is it, really."

She rolled her eyes. "Just water. Drinking has been too hard today."

Bucky pursed his lips thoughtfully, nodding a little.

"Where's Steve?" Kyle asked with a giddy grin, finally looking up from his phone.

There was no telling what Steve was currently up to, but Bucky had the sinking suspicion he wasn't going to like it.

...

Less than an hour later, Bucky took Katie out to a diner around the corner. She could only walk about halfway there on her own. For the rest of their walk he placed an arm around her waist so she wouldn't feel quite so weak. Really, her feet only barely touched the ground, but it made her feel stronger, and therefore about a thousand times happier.

"I haven't walked that far in months. Thanks, Buck." She couldn't stop smiling, not since she found out that Bucky and Steve were in NYC. Not since she found out that Bucky had actually received some treatment for his PTSD. Not since waking up with him sitting on the corner of her bed each morning. Not since she fell asleep in his arms. She could feel his heart beat against her cheek, reminding her again and again that he was perfect.

Even with his many negative qualities, Bucky was still the most positive light in her life. Especially recently. Along with her treatments, Katie was told she had to get surgery. In three weeks, the 12th of November, she was having her chest cracked like a walnut all over again. This time they were replacing her aorta and cutting out the metastasized tissue. Of course, she had to be on radiation for a certain period of time to condense the tissue before going in with a scalpel and chopping her heart into sashimi. This didn't even begin to address the potentially fatal tumor in her occipital lobe. The whole concept was terrifying, but she knew that with Bucky here she could conquer all of this. She knew he was only going to be there for another day, but that didn't matter.

A handsome super soldier watched her happy expressions as she read the menu, tapping her toes to the ground rhythmically. It was different seeing her without eyebrows and eyelashes. The hair he could live without, but he never realized how strange a person could look without something as basic as eyelashes.

It gave him what he learned was called "anxiety".

The girl across the table looked incredibly tiny against bright red cushioning in their booth. It made him wonder why he was doing this to himself. He was only letting himself love her to watch her die. Katie refused to admit that she was getting worse. But Bucky wasn't as dumb as she seemed to think.

The waitress came to take their orders.

"What can I get for ya?" The girl with dark black hair snapped her gum, her voice gravelly and tired.

"Just coffee for now."

The girl looked up once, then again, quickly, with a start. Bucky burrowed his face in the menu to avoid the way her eyes were drawn to the side of his face. She smiled sweetly. "It's so nice of you to take one of them out with you, it good to see someone still cares."

The waitress didn't let her smile waver, not once looking to the other side of the table. Bucky lowered the menu, slowly glancing from the top of Kate's lowered head, back to the dark haired girl, a little confused.

A cough resounded from the other side of the table. The waitress turned her head to look at Katie, who was smiling up at her with sweet venom.

"Yeah, I'm sick, not deaf, sweetheart. That coffee would be great right about now." She winked at the girl who spun around and hid behind the counter so fast that Bucky couldn't help but snort a laugh.

"And you say I'm the jealous one?"

Katie smiled. "When I'm pretty again I won't have to be jealous. It's not my fault you're way hotter."

His blue eyes followed the lines of her face. "You're still pretty, just different." Light pink blush dusted her cheeks; she bit her lips together to stifle a smile.

That deadly, saccharine smile came back when a different waitress set down their coffee. Katie appeared pleased with the results.

"So, what did you want to talk about? Sounded kind of urgent." Katie sipped her coffee black, then grimaced and stuck out her tongue. After the black liquid was almost white with milk and sugar she smiled and hummed pleasantly.

Bucky sighed deeply, reminding himself that this was only temporary. How was he going to tell her? Outright was probably the best approach...

"I have to leave in two hours."

There wasn't even a hint of comprehension in her eyes, as if he hadn't even spoken as her eyes jumped back to the menu in her hands. "Were you planning to get the All American Combo, or the All Star Special? Both look awesome, but I don't know if you're hungry enough for all that."

This was one of her worst personality faults. "Kate. This is important."

"No. Actually, it's not." She gave a small, sheepish smile across the table, reaching out for one of his hands, rubbing the side of his thumb gently. Those green eyes bounced away from his for just a second then, when she found the right words, she said, "I'm getting surgery in a couple of weeks. I probably wont live for much longer. So, instead of dwelling over something shitty I'm going to enjoy whatever time I have here with you because I might not get the chance again."

The explanation was crushing, not to mention distracting. How was he supposed to go to Russia with Katie's eminent death on his mind?

So, after they sucked down two cups of coffee, Katie drew up a game plan. She was going to make sure that they had a good time for their last two hours, whether Bucky wanted to or not.

Bucky had to spend the whole time faking smiles and forcing laughs when all he wanted was to cry. They went to Coney Island, and the aquarium. They made fish faces at each other, a different one for each fish. Katie made him go on every ride they had time for, which was three. They fought over who would win in a paintball fight, which was settled when Bucky shot her with a water gun directly in the face when he was supposed to be aiming at a clown's mouth. She won the game, but he won the war.

Between stolen glances and superficial grins, Katie spoke endlessly. She looked at him for a long time when they were walking back out to the road.

"What?" He smirked, knowing exactly what she was thinking.

Without needing to smile, she smoothed a hand over his chest. "I'm going to miss you."

Those words were not easy to say, nor easy to hear. But if she didn't say them now, she feared she'd never get the chance.

A yellow taxi took them to Stark Tower. Although Katie tried to fight him, Bucky paid for the cab so she would have a ride back to her apartment. He called Miles to make sure she would have someone to help her get into the apartment. Again, Katie fought with him tooth and nail. She stood tall against the closed cab door behind her. Katie wasn't a terribly short woman; she simply appeared small for her height. Even with a bald head and dark circles under her eyes, Katie was somehow pretty. Arms folded, lips pursed, she appeared to finally realize that this was it. They might really never see each other again. Her chin rippled, her throat tightened.

There were no thoughts as Bucky leaned his forearm above her head against the cab door. Her eyes grew wider, amorously. Questioningly. For once, she was the one asking for permission, and Bucky was the one making demands. Smiling, Bucky pressed his lips to her forehead, breathing in to remember the way she smelled. Like melons. The edge of his lower lip danced across her skin, around her brow ridge and over her nose before hovering just above her lips. That magic, that magnet's pull, was there, as it always way since the very first day that they met.

For the last time, at least for a while, Bucky kissed her.

It was cataclysmic. The feeling of being created and torn apart all at once. Gently as he could, he held her face; her weak little hands gripped his shirt as tightly as they could. It wasn't until he pulled away to look at her for the last time that he realized she was crying. With a soft thumb, he brushed the tears away. Neither had to say the words they wanted to say, they were understood.

With the taste of his lips on hers, Katie lowered herself into the back seat of the cab and waved gently at Bucky through the window. He smiled with a little salute, and then disappeared into the building where Steve waited just inside of the glass door.

...

"You're awfully quiet."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You know that's not true."

Bucky stared out the window, not once looking at Steve, Natasha, or Sam. Refusing to answer Steve.

"C'mon," Bucky could feel Steve's eyes on the side of his face as the clouds whipped past at the speed of sound. "We can't just go in there and kill every living soul. We need a plan."

Natasha's smooth, endlessly sarcastic voice came next from across the plane. "What's the matter Soldier? Lady problems?"

Steve shot Natasha a "seriously?" look.

The Russian woman's eyebrows rose high before mouthing, 'really?'

Steve glanced at Bucky to make sure he wasn't looking then quirked a sad smile that said, 'yeah'.

Sam looked like he might be praying the way his eyes rolled to the plane's ceiling at this revelation. Natasha's lips parted in disbelief, her bows low. She was upset not to have noticed anything strange about the Winter Soldier. Typically, she could tell when someone was upset before they even realized. 'Who?' She mouthed, again.

Steve didn't answer so she took it upon herself to ask. She thought about calling him by name, but Natasha didn't like using "Bucky" to describe the Winter Soldier. It never really fit. Probably because the bullet holes in her side and shoulder screamed whenever she was near him. It was a major issue during training. Judging by the guarded way he held himself during the meeting earlier, she could assume Hydra, in some way, harmed the mystery girl in question. "I'm sure she'll be fine."

The way his eyes slid to hers made Natasha's heart stop. Steel blue eyes brought her back to those times when he was too dangerous for the public. So dangerous that he needed to be locked away for long period of time. Her blood ran cold when he looked at her like that. His whole being embodied the Winter Soldier when he was angry, even with his new S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform and haircut.

She wasn't sure if it was a good idea to bring him with them on this mission. Hydra screwed him up once, couldn't they do it again? It didn't help that he was wound up like a jack in the box ready to explode. Natasha changed the subject instantly upon receiving that frightening look. "Where have you guys been the past few weeks, I was starting to think you chickened out."

Bucky's eyes didn't deviate from Natasha's and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't make herself look away either.

"We were in New York with a friend." Steve answered honestly, but obviously dancing around the real question because he couldn't lie worth squat.

Tasha smirked, knowing Steve was putty in her hand. "Cool, did you try out that little Asian place on 108th?"

They didn't know that Natasha had tracked Steve's metro card. She knew everywhere they'd been, she just wanted to see what emotions were associated with their travels. If there really was a girl in the Soldier's life, Tasha needed to make sure she didn't interfere with their team. Above all else, their ability to work together flawlessly was the forefront of her mind. It was part of why she was always trying to hook Steve up with someone. Maybe if he got laid he'd stop looking at her like the embodiment of sex.

Steve shook his head, begging her to stop prying. She rolled her eyes as soon as the Winter Soldiers finally moved his hard gaze from her face, back to the window. She'd never seen him so wound up before, even when he was an assassin. Edginess was not an honorable trait among spies and assassins. They were meant to stay calm in all situations. In this situation, the Soldier was allowing his emotions to get the better of him. Or was he? The way he looked now sort of reminded her of a time when he lacked all emotion. The mission at hand was the only thing that mattered. Maybe, just maybe, this was a good thing. Curiosity was one of Natasha's few flaws; she couldn't keep from wondering what possibly happened. Even Steve appeared upset. Whatever was bothering two of her teammates was going to have to end.

"Bucky?"

His head snapped in her direction. It was well known that they didn't get along terribly well, it was partially because he shot her once or twice under the influence of Hydra. Partially because she refused to call him by his real name. It was a toss up.

A sympathetic smile reached her eyes as she touched a finger to the arrow pendant on her necklace. "I really do hope she's okay."


A/N: Phew, okay. That was a bummer to write. Thanks for reading, and more specifically, thank you to enigma013. I retread your review about give times because it made me so happy! Again, I hope you guys like where I'm taking this story. Please let me know if there is anything that needs fixing!