Severus Snape

"Professor?"

I felt my body rocked by hands on my shoulders, but I still could not will my eyes open.

"Professor? Are you alright? You are drenched in sweat and even paler than usual...please, Sir. Wake-up, please. You can't leave me too!" Her tone was so pathetic it might have sickened me had I not already been so.

"I will most surely vomit if you keep rocking me, Ms. Brown." I grumbled as I forced her hands from my body as my stomach threatened to erupt yet again.

Her hands pulled away. "I'm sorry. I thought you might not come back to me."

As my eyes opened, I found hers filled with tears. How strange to think this former student who had only a week ago attacked me, full of rage, accusing me of murder, now cried at that thought of my demise. I suspected the tears were more at the concept of her own loneliness than my actual passing, but none-the-less, it further illustrated the turmoil that must exist in her head.

"Here. Have some tea." She handed me the bucket which I accepted, drinking slow and heavy as she turned away..

"I think I have a plan," she murmured.

I glanced up from the tea. "Well…"

"Oh, um, well when I was gathering supplies for tea earlier, I noted some stables a little further south from here. And well, horseback would certainly be faster than walking…"

I knew by the way she glanced my direction she was mentally commenting on my own burdensome speed in particular, but she seemingly chose to keep those thoughts to herself. If only I had the strength to apparate, but now I did not trust focus or my stomach not to splinch myself, not to mention the extra energy that would be needed to bring Ms Brown.

I then reflected on her earlier comments about spending time in the Peak District as a child. "Do you ride Ms. Brown, because I certainly do not?"

"I use to…"

"Then it is the best plan we have." I sighed as my stomach lurched another time at the thought of being perched upon an unpredictable galloping beast. I wondered if I could gather enough energies to cast an invisibility charm to travel without drawing attention to ourselves as two vagrants riding a horse through the countryside towards London would certainly cause some question.

Lavender reached for the now empty bucket of tea as I realized I saved none for her. She did not seem to notice my lack of consideration, however, as she swirled the spent tea around the bottom with a concentrated look. Her countenance changed from curious to worried to forlorn. She then glanced up at the sky towards the rising moon and back into the vessel.

She stood, tossing the bucket aside. "Are you feeling well enough to move?"

"No, but that is not important." I took the hand she offered and pulled myself to my feet with a groan. While suppressing another groan, I bent down towards dying fire we had created earlier. After smothering the what remained of the flames, I took the structure Lavender had built and broke it apart. Examining the pieces, I took the two straightest of sticks and dropped the others.

I handed one to Lavender and received a questioning look in response. "You've already accomplished wandless magic, Ms Brown, now we will use these to focus our energies."

"It's a stick…"

"Yes, as is a wand. As I stated, wands are only a tool for focus, serving as a channel for the power within. This may be missing a core and is likely pine, but…" I flicked the stick in my hand as I would a wand casting a disarming spell in my mind. The stick flew from Ms Brown's grasp causing her eyes to widen.

"...it is better than nothing, which we had previously."

Lavender rushed to pick up her stick. Turning it over in her hands a few times before grasping it, she flicked it in the air. "Yes, I suppose it is better than nothing." She tucked it into her waistband with a frown as we started our walk for the evening. "It will take some practice, however."

"You should not fear yourself so much Ms. Brown. You are much more than for what you give yourself credit."

"I don't know what you mean…" she glanced away and back at the moon.

"Do not forget, I have been in your thoughts. I have seen the restraint you exercise on your magic, and that is not a simple feat."

"I do not have a choice really…"

"Ridiculous. Of course you do," I spat wondering how she could really be so dim. "You could let the insanity take you. You could let it take someone else with you. You could enact your own death. You could -"

"You don't think I've tried!" She stopped suddenly and turned towards me. Pulling up her sleeve, she revealed the long scar up her left arm. "That was the day after St Mungo's released me home the first time." Pulling up her shirt, she pointed to a particularly pronounced area along her raised scars. "That's where I pulled off the healing graft at St Mungo to restart the cursed bleeding in hopes of exsanguinating. I spent a week in restraints for that one." Pointing to the slight scar across her face. "A failed attempt to curse myself in the mirror."

She was silent for a long while, but I sensed her mind was busy, so I did not respond.

"So you see, I do fear myself…but not because of what I could do to myself, because I've already tried those things and sadly failed… don't assume you suddenly understand me after spending thirty seconds in my thoughts."

"I was not implying any such thing, Ms Brown." I paused, considering my words carefully while watching the witch twitch uncomfortably under my gaze. "I am completely aware that your fears are for others and not yourself, otherwise we would not have embarked on this ridiculous journey. But even now I can feel the energy crackling within you and yet, no destruction lays in your wake."

She turned away.

"So I say it again. You mustn't underestimate yourself," I said to her back. "Now draw your wand, Ms Brown."

In a swift movement, she was upon me, wand raised, lips whispering her spells as my wand flew and my limbs went weak. As she caught me by the shoulders, she smiled. "How's that, Professor?"

With a snort, I pushed her away and regained my footing. "A respectable start."

She picked up my wand and returned it to me. "Like I said, it will take some practice."

Lavender Brown

I could hardly believe it had happened. I had disarmed the professor with a stick. I just told myself it was my old wand, pictured it as my old wand, wanted it to be my old wand, and when he had challenged me, I imagined my time practicing with Dumbledore's Army at Hogwarts. Turning the stick in my hands as we walked, I replayed the scene in my head. The look of shock on the wizard's face and the way he had pushed me away, told me he could hardly believe it either.

I was so lost in thought that I almost missed a strange sound echoed from the distance, but when it came again, I stopped suddenly. "Did you hear that?"

"No. I hear nothing unusual," Snape replied eyeing me.

I strained to hear and after several seconds, the sound came again. "Dogs! Hurry!"

Our pace quickened, but we both knew we were unlikely to make it to the stables before they caught up.

"Ms Brown, stop," the professor said after a few minutes.

I turned. "Professor, I can't go back."

"Listen to me. There is no time for questions. I need you to concentrate. Where is that stable? How far?"

"Another few miles. Just over that hill."

"Excellent. Can you picture it in your mind? I mean really picture it like you were standing in front of it?" He stepped closer to me.

I swallowed hard as the sounds of the barking dogs came louder. "Yes. I think so."

"No thinking. Just do it. Do it now."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay." I pictured the stables as I had seen it earlier in the morning light just over the hill, past the woods.

Snape stepped even closer, taking my chin in his hands. His dark eyes pulled me deep. I found myself thinking they seemed less empty somehow than the last time we had been so close.

"Concentrate Brown. Where are we going?" His other hand came around my back and pulled me against him, our eyes still locked.

A shiver ran through me as I felt the warmth of him against me. I knew he was in my head so I swallowed back the thoughts of having him close and the way I had craved such touch a two days ago and grabbed hold of the vision of the stables once again.

A loud whoosh filled my ears, my vision went dark, and a feeling of being sucked through a vacuum tube came over me. When my vision returned, an instant later I was laying in the grass next to the stables with the professor laying next to me. I turned to my side to vomit. Standing, I spun around as I wiped the foul taste from my lips. "Did we just apparate?"

The professor nodded as he dusted the grass from his attire. "Yes. And surprisingly well considered we both seem to be intact."

"Why did you not just take us straight to London, then?"

"I do not believe that even the two of us combined has regained enough control and focus to avoid splinching ourselves on a journey that far."

"Oh…"

"Now, we better keep moving. I am sure this will only be a temporary setback for our trackers."

"Of course." I glanced around again as I strived to listen for the sounds of the dogs. Hearing nothing, and seeing no sign of anyone near the stables in the dim light of the twilight, I crept around the structure with the professor close behind. With no signs of anyone nearby, we came to the stable doors, finding them locked.

I drew my stick-wand from its place tucked into my waistband and pointed it at the lock. I closed my eyes to concentrate on my desire for the lock to open brought that desire down into my chest and through my arm into the wand. "Alohomora."

I jumped back as the lock clicked free and the door swung out slightly. "Yes!"

"Hmph, you may have potential afterall," Snape said behind me with amusement was clear in his tone.

"Thank you," I smiled even though I knew he could not see it as I moved into the stable before tucking my wand away again.

As my eyes adjusted to the low light, I saw several horses resting quietly and all the riding gear hanging on the wall across from the animals. "Perfect. Let's go." I grabbed a bridle and a saddle pad as I examined our potential rides.

The horse in the first stall pulled away anxiously, ears pinned back, as I approached so I moved on. The second horse peered over the door unconcerned with my presence, but as I approached I realized she seemed a bit too small to carry both of us effectively. The grey horse in the third stall was an older mare I knew would not be able to carry us all the way to London quickly.

"This is the one," I mumbled as I approached the beautiful sturdy appearing black Fresian, at least in the dim light he appeared similar to the Fresian I rode as a youth. "He can take us all the way." I swung open the gate and approached the horse slowly. He looked my way with interest so I presented my hand which he sniffed. I patted him gently on the nose. "Hey, Boy. Want to go for a ride?"

I scratched his neck as I threw the saddle pad on his back. "Good Boy." Placing the bridle in place, I slipped the bit into his mouth and moved the reins over his head. I checked the fitting and stepped back.

"Introduce yourself, Professor," I said as I moved away to grab a saddle.

"If you insist," he mumbled as he reached a hand out to the animal who sniffed it.

"Now give him a scratch along his neck." I came up and set the saddle into place.

The professor did as instructed, although his posture was stiff and he remained at a distance.

I shook my head. "Are you afraid of him, Professor?"

"Distrusting, perhaps."

"Well." I tightened the final strap and lead the horse from the stall. "Now's your last chance to to come up with an alternative." I mounted the saddle and reached a hand out to the wizard.

Snape grabbed ahold of my arm and pulled himself up to join me, settling in just behind the saddle. "I can't got back."

"Then hold on." I said squeezing my legs to urge the horse forward after seeing he did not object to having the extra rider. The horse obliged and we walked out of the stable.

After glancing towards to moon to get my sense of direction, I turned the horse south and picked up the pace. "I can't believe it…" I mumbled as I felt the professor's grip tighten on my hips.

"Agreed, Ms Brown," Snape replied, his lips near my right ear.

I hadn't considered the proximity this ride forced upon us, but now, with his chest pressed against my back when our speed picked up, it was hard to ignore. I prayed he would stay out of my thoughts as I wrestled away the memories of the inappropriate desires I had experienced early in our journey.

My thoughts were interrupted by a low rumbling which I realized was Snape's stomached. I snickered receiving a snort in response.

"I agree. I'm so hungry I could eat even go for a meal at St Dymphna's," I said grateful for the break in the tension.