Chapter 9

It was only after the door fell closed behind Narcisse when Catherine, who involuntary held her breath, began breathing again. Irritated, she ran her fingers over her trembling lips. Lips he had kissed just a few seconds before.

Stephane Narcisse, her husband. A fact that was still beyond her grasp. How in the name of God could this have happened? They had a lot in common, she couldn't argue about that, still she would never have dreamed of marrying her ex-lover. To be precise, the general idea of a new marriage after Henry's death seemed utterly absurd to her. And yet she had exchanged one farce marriage for the next one. Like in the past this decision had not been hers at all. Her own son had flogged her off like some pesky head of cattle. To a man who possessed the kind of power over her, that frightened her.

She will not be fooled by his offer to keep her son out in the dark about her attempt to annul this marriage. She knew him and she knew men in general. As soon as the need to control or bend her will shall arise, he was going to use this knowledge to blackmail her into obedience. She had just pretended to give in for the moment to get rid of him.

Since she had learned that Charles had chosen his Chancellor as her husband three days ago, her heart and mind were involved in a still ongoing struggle. But she could not follow her stupid and somehow soppy heart, could not be guided by deceptive illusions as this was not only stupid, but also dangerous. Stephane had proved time and time again that she could not trust him. He was always looking for his own advantages. A man who would never act selflessly. Actually she couldn't even blame him as the welfare of her family and her own came first for her as well. She would stop at nothing if her family was in jeopardy.

But it were the feelings he was still able to arouse that made Stephane so extremely dangerous. He was more than an old lover or a casual way to satisfy her physical needs. No, he had gazed deeply into her soul, discovered the true Caterina, and she had been misled by her cursed feelings. A fatal mistake, as she had been nothing more than a dispensable chess figure. Nothing more than a means to an end. One that he willingly sacrificed for his main goal - conquering the white queen – Lola.

As a result they had entangled themselves in the net of a love triangle and unwittingly tightening the strings that tied them together. Stephane had drawn her into a maelstrom of love, jealousy and betrayal and she had been foolish enough not to resist.
Oh, yes, he had undoubtedly desired her body and all the things he had been allowed to do with it, but it was still the fatuous young Lola to whom he had given his heart. She, on the other hand, had been deceived and used by him. In the end all they ever could do was lose. She had lost her self-respect and her desire to ever fall in love again, he had lost Lola by his adultery and lies and the poor thing had even lost her head.

The fact that she of all things had to marry Stephane seemed like a tasteless revenge of fate. After all, she was only his second choice. Once again. A fact she would never forget. And even the knowledge that they were more than compatible on a physical level could not hide the fact that his betrayal and her emotional exposure would always stand between them. She was such a stupid cow for opening up to him, for revealed her true feelings and making herself not only vulnerable, but also exposing herself to ridicule. Narcisse may have returned to her bed time and again - even though he had been married to Lola - yet it was his love for the much younger woman that had sent him to England. Away from French court and away from her.

Oh, why did this naive girl had to get herself invoved in this damned assassination attempt?
She would still have her life and Catherine her freedom.
"Till death do us part," she murmured selfconsciously and felt the urge to laugh out loud at this absurd situation.

A knock at the door tore the former monarch out of her thoughts.
At her behest her maids came in to help Catherine get dressed. The midnight-blue, luxuriant dress had a low neckline that was embroidered with plenty of golden and wine-red lace and fitted her gloomy mood perfectly.
The endless long time the girl needed to pin up her hair artfully, Catherine used to gather herself. She had to be careful not to give her unpredictable husband nor her gleefull children the satisfaction of seeing her in such a dissolved state. And with every strand that Natalie braided, twisted or twirled, Catherine raised her inner walls stone by stone. Until they were taller and more solid than ever before. With a last critical look into the mirrow she convinced herself that Catherine de' Medici - the unshakable, tough woman - looked back at her.

Then she raised and went to the dining room to have breakfast with her children.


My dear readers, I didn't come to acknowledge your last comments propperly, so let's start again, shall we?

at MediciQueen: Thank you for jumping on board and for your kind words!

at Guest: And I love love love love your feedback.

at D: I can't believe you commented on each chapter, thank you so much, my Dear! Yes, Catherine gave in quite early but does she have a hidden agenda? We'll see...

at Leryn: Thank you! I had fun writing Chapter 7, I can tell you. More is on the way.

at Sylvia629: You're right, she's not one to give up. That's so intriguing about Catherine.

at CallmeCordelia1: Well, thank you. I actually started this fanfiction before I got to see all episodes but now I've seen all of Season 4 and I feel left out on part of Catherine's and Narcisse's relationship. So I can live this out in my own head and share it with you.

at Suzan: I hope you're still with me, my dear Brazilian and I hope I did not disappoint.

So next chapter will be Stephanes POV - any ideas?!
Have a lovely weekend.