Disclaimer: I do NOT own Ouran Highschool Host Club nor any of the characters from it.


CHAPTER NINE:

"Enemies – Lobelia Girls' Academy"


"Huh?" Haruhi asked. "You mean, there are no afternoon classes today?"

"Oh, you didn't know?" a girl from their class said. "For these two days, today and tomorrow, the whole school is holding an exposition for the cultural clubs."

"Drama clubs and choral clubs from other schools have been invited," another said. "It's an annual big event that we hold."

"Is that right?"

"Well, at least we get out of doing work," Rin said with a shrug, causing the two girls to giggle in agreement.

"Some of us do like studying, mind you," Haruhi said with a sigh.

"I think you mean only you do, Haruhi."

"Eh? You've never had any?" the twins asked in disbelief from the other side of the room, addressing a confused Renge.

"It's the preferred drink among the whole Host Club right now," Hikaru said.

"If you call yourself a manager, then you have to drink it," Kaoru finished.

"I-I've heard of instant coffee before," Renge said, wiping the sweat from her forehead with her napkin, her cheeks turning red. "Ah, it's that one item, right? You know, the stuff where you buy the beans that are already ground-?"

"Bzzzt!" the twins interrupted, making her gasp as they crossed their arms in the shape of an 'X'.

"That's completely different. Instant coffee doesn't have the slight trace of the bean remaining. You just mix the powder with hot water, and then drink it like that. It is an incredible product."

"You see, it's coffee, and yet there is absolutely no robustness to it."

"Still, it's strangely satisfying."

"Come to mention it, the club's stock has run out."

They rushed over, placing their hands on Haruhi's shoulders, starling both her and Haruhi. "Haruhi, go buy some," they said in unison, big grins on their faces.

"How does that work?" Haruhi asked with a sigh.

"Well, you're the only one who knows where they sell it."

"We've been serving it to the guests lately. It's your job, it's your job."

"The cultural clubs' exposition is about to start, right?" Haruhi asked.

They both lifted her up until she was lying flat on her back, being carried with everyone in the class staring, making her more annoyed.

"It's free participation, so if you're not interested, you don't have to go."

"With that being said, come back safely!" They waved as they dropped in the doorway, walking back to their desks while laughing.

Rin walked out as Haruhi stumbled, leaning against her arm against the wall. "Damn these rich people…" she groaned.

"That's not very nice," Rin said as she shook her head.

"Haruhi-kun, thank you for all you do," one of the girls from earlier said as she walked out, her friend trailing behind her.

"For crying out loud, they can't even buy their own instant coffee," Haruhi groaned.

"They've been quite sheltered when it comes to 'commoners'" Rin said as she patted her on the back.

"Still, Hikaru-kun and Kaoru-kun both seem to be enjoying themselves."

"Good for them."

"It's all thanks to you two, Haruhi-kun and Rin."

"Enjoying themselves?" Haruhi asked.

"Thanks to us?" Rin asked.

"We've been in the same class as those two since middle school, but they've never been as friendly with the rest of the class as they are now. It was like they never let anyone getting too close. I don't think the two of them liked school very much."

"I wonder if it was when they started the Host Club," her friend said. "They've started to talk to us, little by little, haven't they?"

"Really…" Haruhi asked as she watched the twins laugh at a joke one of their classmates said. Rin watched as well, a smile forming on her face.

"It's been especially since you came to this school, Haruhi-kun. And since you've gotten here, Rin, they now talk to anyone in the class."

"That's why we are so very happy now. After all, it's important to have fun every day, right?"

Rin looked down for a second, before she nodded. "Right."

The golden gate closed behind her, her footsteps echoing off the concrete path towards the school, her hands filled with bags of instant coffee from the supermarket. As she wasn't paying attention, a monkey threw a banana peel onto the ground in front of her. She slipped, slowly falling backwards towards the ground.

A figure twirled through, lily petals flowing through the wind as they caught Haruhi in their arms, her long red skirt blowing in the wind. She gently put Haruhi back down on the ground.

"It would be shame if any harm came to that cute face of yours, Miss."

Haruhi's eyes widened as she looked up at the woman. She flicked her short brown hair, chuckling as she stared at Haruhi with a smile.


A Challenge from Lobelia Girls' Academy!


The three first years opened the Host Club doors, staring in confusion at what they saw in front of them. The other Host Club members were decked out in full armour; expect the helmet – weaponry and all. Whether they were fake or not was a different story.

"It took you three long enough. You're late," Tamaki said, pouting as he folded his arms over his chest.

"What is all this?" Rin asked, ignoring Tamaki's statement as she pointed to all the costumes.

"We – my lady – are the loyal and brave knights of this medieval court of Ouran Academy; protecting our beautiful princesses."

The twins glanced at each other and shrugged. "Just give us our costumes," they said, holding out their hands towards Tamaki.

"Come on! Get into the spirit! Where's your imagination?" Tamaki shouted, twirling his sword around as he dramatically cried.

"Maybe we will when we get into our costumes," Rin suggested, which made Tamaki snap out of it, trying to get back into character.

"Of course, silly me. Quickly, get changed before the guests start arriving."

He quickly handed the twins two black bags, holding their costumes. They headed behind the curtained room to change, as Tamaki had demanded they were not allowed to change in the presence of a lady.

A few minutes later, the came out wearing light blue puffy outfits with large floppy hats, almost looking like the musketeers. They might have been mistaken for jesters if not for the long swords tucked at their sides. They looked at each other in deadpan, then looking back at the hosts.

"Why are you dressed as knights and we have this?" they asked, gesturing to their giant hats.

"Oh, I think it's quite obvious," Tamaki said as he gave a smirk.

"Don't question the king's decisions, otherwise we'll be here all night," Kyoya said as adjusted his glasses, going back to the book he was reading.

Rin took her black bag and headed inside the curtained change room, checking the outfit to make sure it was something appropriate this time – unlike all her other costumes so far.

She came out wearing a black and dark blue dress, the bottom growing out to cover her legs and reach the ground, covering her dark blue heels. The sleeves puffed out, also covering her hands and hanging off her arms. She was also given a glittering tiara that rested on top of her head.

"Rin-chan, you look like a princess!" Honey-senpai gushed as he clapped, Mori-senpai giving his signature nod in response.

"My darling princess, I will protect you from any coming danger!" Tamaki announced as he stood in front of her, holding his sword and "subtly" directing it towards the twins.

"We can't allow the female member of the Host Club to be protected by the Hosts," Kyoya said as he held another bag in his hands, handing it over to her. "Besides, who is going to protect the guests if she needs protecting?"

Tamaki gave a sigh as he slowly withdrew his sword. "I guess you're right."

"What is this?" she asked as she reached into the bag, touching something with a pointed edge, yet it wasn't sharp. She pulled it out, revealing a large sword.

"Oooh," Honey-senpai said.

"The princess has a sword," the twins commented.

She held the sword in her hands with a smile on her face. "Can I test this thing out? Someone challenge me to a duel."

"I think you're getting a little too into this, Rin," Tamaki said, which made her laugh.

"That's rich coming from you."

A sword slammed into hers, making her gasp at the sudden pressure on her weapon. Of course it was Hikaru's sword, a smirk on his face at her shocked expression. She was about to open to mouth when he spun the swords around, causing her to as well from her lack of strength, almost making her lose her balance. Her sword fell to the ground as Hikaru caught her, bending her down in a classic wedding dip pose.

"It seems you have lost, princess," he said with a smirk, his face only a few centimetres from hers.

She quickly realised his trick, and a smirk formed on her face. "Oh dear, what should my punishment be then?"

"We'll have to decide when we get home." He gave her a wink before he moved his head closer, pressing his lips against hers as she moved her hands to his shoulders.

Mori-senpai bent down and covered Honey-senpai's eyes, as Tamaki started fuming with anger.

"Unhand my daughter this instant!" Tamaki screamed, flames almost coming out of his ears. Hikaru gave her another wink before he pulled her back up to her feet, giving Tamaki a smirk.

"What are you going to do if I don't?"

"That's it!" Tamaki shouted as he raised his sword.

The two girls in a school uniform walked down the halls of Ouran Academy, their long red skirts attracting the attention of the other students. Their white heels clicked on the floor as they walked, finally reaching the silent hallway.

They glanced up at the sign on the door: Music Room #3.

"This looks to be the place, huh?" the girl on the right said.

"Yes."

The girls pushed the doors open, revealing the Hosts. Luckily Kyoya had warned them about their approach, and got them settled down and into their positions.

"Welcome!" they chorused, but the girls didn't seem fazed in the slightest.

"Well, well, girls from another school, are you?" Tamaki asked, holding up his sword in front of his face. "I wonder if we haven't startled our first-time guests here a little bit." His eyes twinkled as the girls' reflection shined off the sword.

"I'm glad you've come, my princesses. Ah, even if the world were to be destroyed, I would want to be the knight to protect you from this day forward, even at the expense of my own life." He bent down on one knee in front of them, bowing his head.

"My, at the expense of his own life, he says?" one of the girls said, her long curly hair flicked as she turned her head with a smirk. "That's quite an arrogant sentiment, is it not? I wonder if he think that's what makes a woman happy."

Tamaki lifted his head back up, a little shocked.

"What can you do, Sister Suzuran? Men are lower life forms, who prize their own honour above all else. They take their own futility in being unable to protect even one of their kind and change it into something to suit themselves. Isn't that condescending?"

"My, Hinagiku, you're such a clever girl."

Rin slowly walked and stood behind the twins, kind of worried of what they would think of her if they saw her. They looked behind their shoulders, but once she pointed to them, they quickly understood and stood closer together.

"That's pretty harsh, huh?" Tamaki said as he stood up, slinging his sword over his shoulder. "Well then, what would you like me to tell you?"

"Good question. In my case, it would be 'I would never leave my lover alone'."

The sudden voice made everyone look towards the door, seeing a tall girl with short brown hair standing there, holding Haruhi close to her side. The Hosts were confused, while Tamaki stood in a state of shock.

"If we are to fight, it will be together. If we prevail not, we shall meet our fate together. Even though I perish, I swear to you I will never leave your side." She bent down to her knees, holding Haruhi's hand out as she kissed it gently.

Most of the Host Club members were in a mixture of confused and disgusted, while Honey-senpai was blushing with a giant smile on his face. Tamaki almost screamed as he pointed at them, yet no words come out.

"Benibara-sama, you're late."

"What are we to do with you? And where did you find this adorable lady?"

"Oh, just over there. She may be dressed as a boy, but I could tell right away. Look here." She lifted Haruhi off her feet and bent her down to the ground, almost replicating the same move Hikaru had pulled with Rin. "Such clear, maidenly eyes…"

"Um…er…" Haruhi stuttered, a little uncomfortable at the closeness.

"Wow, her skin is incredibly pretty."

The two girls bent down and rolled up one of Haruhi's pant legs and one of her jacket sleeves to inspect her skin, rubbing it with shocked faces.

"It sure is. Shining natural material, if polished."

"Hold it! Don't go touching my Haruhi without asking first!" Tamaki screamed as he ran towards them, reaching out to grab her.

"Hands off, you boor!" she shouted as she punched Tamaki straight in the mouth, sending him flying back to the rest of the Hosts.

"S-She hit me! That was violent!"

"Tama-chan, buck up!"

The three girls stood in front of them, all staring down with smirks at the flustered Hosts.

"They're even more feeble than we'd heard. A fledgling, cobbled-together mishmash of frivolous fools."

"Alright, alright, I've had enough of this," Rin said as she stepped out from behind the twins, revealing herself to the strange three girls.

"Oh, who is this?" the leader asked as she stepped forward. Rin felt like she should back up, to go back to safety, but she also felt that she needed to stand her ground, especially in front of these girls.

"It seems there's another girl here."

"But she isn't disguised as a boy."

"She must be forced to work here too. How horrid!"

"Such a young, pretty maiden," the leader said as she moved even closer, reaching out and touching Rin's face, which made her extremely uncomfortable. "You shouldn't be stuck inside this cage, young lady."

"I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but I wasn't forced to work here. I could and can leave at any time if I wanted. But, regardless of whether I was or not, it isn't any of your business on my life and what happens in it. And I would really appreciate it if you didn't call my friends rude names."

"She's been brainwashed by them!"

"The poor girl!"

"We'll help you escape from them, young maiden. I promise you you're beauty will be more appreciated-"

"From your uniforms, I see you're students from Lobelia Girls' Academy," Kyoya interrupted, tilting his glasses.

She shifted her attention away from Rin and over to the rest of the Hosts, a smirk forming on her face. "Indeed we are."

They suddenly threw their uniforms into their air as the lights shut off, making Rin jump as she quickly rushed back to the Hosts in the darkness. She rushed behind the chair, reaching for Hikaru's hand, which he held to try and make her more comfortable.

A purple spotlight broke through the darkness, revealing the leader posing in a purple tuxedo and top hat.

" Lobelia "

A blue spotlight appeared, the girl with long curled hair holding a white flower into the hair with a long light blue dress.

" Lobelia "

A pink spotlight shined, the younger girl lifted her leg into the air with a pink tutu and leotard.

" Lobelia "

The leader tipped her top hat, placing the white lily into her mouth. "St. Lobelia Academy, high school 2nd-Year, Amakusa Benio."

AKA – Benibara, Lady of the Crimson Rose

" Lobelia "

The long haired girl fanned herself as she held the lily in her right hand. "Also, 2nd-Year, Maihara Chizuru."

AKA – Suzuran, Lady of the Lily-of-the-Valley

" Lobelia "

The youngest girl held the lily in front of her face as the other hand rested just above her eyes. "Also, 1st-Year, Tsuwabuki Hinako."

AKA – Hinagiku, Lady of the Daisy

" Lobelia "

"We are St. Lobelia Academy's white lily league, but people call us…" Benio threw her hat into the air, flying in the air as a large, golden sign light up just behind the hat's path.

"The Zuka Club!" the three shouted in unison, the sign behind them reading the same as it almost looked like they were standing on a stage, wearing very atrocious and ridiculous looking costumes.

"Uh…" the Host Club groaned, staring in complete shock.

The Host Club

The three girls continued to pose, huge smiles on their faces.

The Zuka Club

"Uhhh…" they groaned again; Tamaki turning white.

The Host Club

The three girls continued to pose, huge smiles on their faces, expect the stage behind them had now vanished.

The Zuka Club

The two competing groups stood in silence, both staring at each other now. In comparison to the Zuka Club, the Host Club's costumes and personalities seemed to be subtle.

"T-The Zuka Club…" Tamaki stuttered as he started sweating, right before his body gave out and he collapsed to the ground.

The twins couldn't take the silence anymore, and burst out into laughter, tears falling from their eyes as they held onto their stomachs.

"Nice taste in names!" Hikaru mocked. "The Zuka Club! My stomach hurts!"

"The Zuka Club! That's great!" Kaoru laughed. "And to intentionally wear those costumes under their uniforms!"

"You must not take the Zuka Club lightly!"

The twins stopped laughing as everyone turned their heads for the voice. Renge started laughing as the powerful motor kicked in, pushing the floor apart as she rose up on the podium, spinning around as she sat on a red bench. She was dressed up this time, wearing a purple kimono as an umbrella hid her from the blinding spotlight from above.

"I may not know about instant coffee, but I can tell you about infatuation with girls' schools," she said as she lifted the cup to her lips, taking a sip of the Hescafé instant coffee beside her. She pulled a face before she spit out the coffee into the napkin, wiping her mouth.

"St. Lobelia Academy – truly, a woman's world. The Zuka Club is a gathering of damsels that consider females to be especially superior, even for there. It prides itself on 30 years since its founding as a society of maidens, by maidens, for maidens. The Zuka Club's activities include 'Maidens' Tea Parties', 'Maidens' Debate Forum', and most importantly, singing and theatrical routines performed by the top members."

The male hosts had taken off their armour and their costumes; as they had their school uniforms underneath; while Rin was unfortunately stuck in her costume until everyone could leave.

"Renge-kun, you sure cover a wide field," Kyoya said as he straightened out his tie.

"Still, ultimately, it is but a fond fantasy. Not actually having any boys around makes it no good for me." She then lowered herself back underneath the ground, yet none of the Zuka Club members seemed surprised by it.

"A maiden's beauty…" Chizuru began. "It is to have a spirit pure enough not to give in to superficial beauty, influence, or lust." She was dressed up now in a long purple dress wearing a golden headpiece.

"As a girl, you…For a girl, you…" Hinako mocked bitterly. "We're fed up with all the oppressive male contempt for women." She sat on the top of a male skull wearing a black devil outfit, holding a red pitchfork.

"Our pride…" Benio began, stirring a glass of bourbon while wearing a purple bathrobe and a fake mustache. "It comes from having soulful relationships based on equality, as a result of being of the same sex. Including, yes…even relationships of love."

"Oh, there you go, Benio…"

"Benibara-sama…"

"Ahh, I've gotten tired of laughing," Kaoru said with a sigh as he started rummaging through the grocery bag.

"Yeah, seriously, go away," Hikaru said, more interested in playing the video game in front of him. Mori-senpai swung his sword around, Kyoya sat on the arm of the chair and read his book, while Rin and Honey-senpai stared at the video game Hikaru was playing.

"Oh, my, does this mean you have nothing to say about our sublime love?" Hinako said with a laugh.

"What is she talking about?"

"Oh, I haven't had this before. It's a new one." Kaoru pulled out a different container of coffee and inspected it closely.

"You have to feel sorry for them, Hinagiku," Chizuru said as she stroked Benio's cheek. "Their patented host skills did not work on us, and they don't know how to handle it."

"Hmph. Even so, it was worth it, while we were here for our theatrical performance, to come and see the notorious Ouran Host Club for ourselves," Benio said with a smirk as Chizuru removed Benio's mustache.

"Are we notorious?" Honey-senpai asked.

"Maybe," Mori-senpai shrugged.

Benio's right hand grabbed hold of Rin's wrist, pulling her towards them and into the wall – right beside Haruhi. Her left hand then slammed down beside their heads, leaning closer towards them.

"To think that they dragged these sweet girls down along with them, though…" She then turned to the Host Club, glaring at them. "I don't know if their president is supposed to be a halfer or not, but spreading around false love with impressive appearances, and toying with the pure hearts of young maidens is positively demeaning towards women! It is outrageous how you claim to be carrying out club activities, while satisfying your own appetites."

The three quickly changed costumes again, this time wearing an almost exact Nazi outfit, expect in a red instead of green. "I swear that I will bring down Ouran Host Club at once! Heil Zuka Club!" They gave the Nazi salute, a flag appearing behind them, but instead of the swastika, it was the word "Maiden".

"Follow me," Haruhi whispered as she tapped her on the shoulder.

"Are we escaping?" Rin asked as she quickly followed her, but Haruhi gave no response as she guided her into the kitchen.

"Indeed, I understand what you're saying," Kyoya said, tilting his glasses. "However, could we continue this at another time?"

"Are you saying you cannot take us on?"

"No. Our president is still bedridden from the culture shock." He gestured to Tamaki, who was lying on the bed with a blue blanket over him and a brown teddy bear by his side.

- "The Zuka Club is scaring me…" Tamaki muttered.

- "You see, Tama-chan is having happy time right now," Honey-senpai said.

"Get him up!" Benio shouted.

"Um, we made some coffee," Haruhi said nervously as she walked over holding one of the cups of instant coffee in her hands.

"Would you like to have some," Rin hesitated, making her receive a look from Haruhi as she held the other two cups in her hands.

"Thank you. How kind of you," Benio stated dramatically.

"You're real treasure in this trash heap," Chizuru said as she picked one of the cups of Rin's hands. Hinako picked the other, meaning Benio grabbed the one from Haruhi's hands.

"Coffee made by a maiden possesses such a fragrant aroma."

"It smells just like coffee though," Rin said, rolling her eyes.

"It's just instant," Haruhi insisted.

"Well then, why don't the five of us have a tea party?" Hinako asked, linking one of her arms with Rin's as she tried to lead her out of the room.

Tamaki opened his eyes, suddenly pushing himself out of "bed" as he glared at them. "You girls are wrong!" he screamed as he charged for them. "Where is the fruitfulness in a girl being in love with another girl!? Why else would God have created Adam and Eve!?"

"That's a little offensive to gay people, isn't it?" Rin questioned.

"Oh, my dear, how quite right you are. Isn't he just insensitive," Benio said as she pulled Rin close, making Tamaki yell.

"Stop touching them!"

The monkey from earlier threw another banana peel on the ground, right in front of Tamaki's feet. He slipped on it, sending his index finger to land in Hinako's cup of coffee; which was still boiling hot and releasing steam. It took him a second to register the pain before he screamed.

"Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!" He ran across the room, holding onto his finger which was now throbbing and turning red. Honey-senpai rushed over and tried blowing on his finger to cool it down.

"Geez, please be more careful," Haruhi said with a sigh as she bent down beside him, pulling out a roll of first-aid tape. She wrapped it around his finger, cutting off the end as she tucked it back into her pocket.

"Thank you. Do you always carry first-aid tape around with you?" Tamaki asked.

"The supermarket was giving them away when I bought the instant coffee. The store always has giveaways."

"Giveaway?"

Haruhi gave a nod as she smiled, Tamaki staring back down at his now bandaged finger.

"This doesn't even seem to be worth discussing," Benio said with crossed arms as she stood behind Haruhi, still holding onto Rin. She grabbed hold of Haruhi's wrist, lifting off the ground and close to her body beside Rin. "Now that we know the situation, we cannot allow these maidens to remain in this club. We must prepare the paperwork for a transfer to Lobelia at once, and welcome them into the Zuka Club!"

The room went silent as the information sunk into everyone's heads, and Rin was the first to break it as she pushed away from Benio's grip. "Hold on, wait just one second," she said as she placed her hands on her hips.

"What's the matter, young maiden?" Benio asked.

"There seems to be some misunderstanding here," Haruhi said as she quickly stood beside Rin. "You've labelled Tamaki-senpai a halfer, for one."

"Technically, he is considered one," Rin whispered, making Haruhi widen her eyes.

"Tama-chan is a halfer," Honey-senpai said as well. "A French and Japanese half-chan! Just like Rin-chan!"

Haruhi quickly got flustered. "Ah. But still, I'm not so sure about calling the Host Club fledgling, and picking on them on other pretexts, as well."

"No, we are pretty new," Hikaru said. "We were only founded two years ago."

"His highness created it when he reached high school, after all," Kaoru said.

Haruhi gave a sigh. "Well, be that as it may, if anything, saying that their club activities are only held to satisfy their own appetites is going too far. It's not as though they're charging their guests anything."

"Haruhi," Rin sighed as she held onto her shoulders. "You must be delusional."

"Huh?"

"I wouldn't call it a charge, but we do have a point system," Kyoya said, and only then did Haruhi realise what Rin meant. "We do offer priority service, depending on the price of items won in net auctions on the club's homepage." He typed something on his computer. "Ah, you see here, Haruhi? Your used mechanical pencil just sold for a winning bid of 30,000 yen. Good for you."

Haruhi rushed over to the computer, needing to see this for herself. And sure enough:

Mechanical Pencil Used by Haruhi Fujioka
Final Bid ¥30,000

"That's the one I thought I'd lost!" Haruhi shouted. "This is the first time I'm hearing about any of this, you know! I never heard we were taking money for this!"

"You thought we were providing this service as volunteers? Well, if you subtract the expenses we have for throwing events, costumes, and refreshments for our guests, we do make a slight profit."

"Then please don't go selling other people's things without permission! That's thievery!"

"It's not either thievery. It fell on the floor," the twins commented.

Main culprits

Haruhi quickly turned around with a fist raised, growling as she saw them sitting down and drinking coffee.

"Waah! I'm sorry, Haruhi!" Tamaki cried. "It's not like we were hiding it from you! Here, you can have my pencil!" He held onto her face as he lifted up the pencil in question. "See? It has a teddy-bear."

"I don't want that thing."

"Then if you like, I'll tell you all the secrets of my success, together with the grand memories of my 17 years."

"No, of all the things I'm hearing for the first time, I care about that information the least."

Tamaki gasped, his face showing the pure horror of her statement. "You don't care?" he cried out, right before he went into the corner of the room with his arms wrapped around his legs.

"You poor thing. It must be a shock to be so deceived," Chizuru exclaimed as they circled the two girls.

"Come on, dump this bunch, and come over to us," Hinako said.

"I think she's been through enough today; she needs a break," Rin butted in, earning a nod from Benio.

"The young maiden's right, girls. Let's ask again tomorrow. We'll be expecting favourable answers." Benio gently placed her hand on Haruhi's shoulder as they walked past. "Well…adieu," she said, purple lily petals flying past them as they twirled out the room.

Haruhi stared at the door before she turned to the Host Club members, her fringe covering her eyes, but they could tell she was pretty angry. They gulped as she stood there, just staring at them with a frown on her face.

"I'll be excusing myself now, too," she said in a monotone.

The other members were a little distraught, expect for Kyoya, who was taking pictures with the flash on. Haruhi didn't say another word as she walked to the door, shutting it behind her.

"Ahhh! What good does it do to tell the truth, and just pour more fuel on the fire!?" Tamaki screamed, flailing his arms around as he cried.

"The facts are the facts," Kyoya said.

"Maybe we shouldn't have sold her pencil after all," Honey-senpai said.

"Hmmm, it might have been a keepsake from her mother," Kaoru suggested.

"Nah, it was just a freebie from an electronics store," Hikaru said. Specifically, it came from "B's Electronics", a very cheap store that sold things like headphones and really cheap mobile phones.

"What mother would give their child a pencil to remember them by?" Rin asked, raising an eyebrow at Kaoru.

"Gentlemen, think about it," Tamaki said, placing his hand on the window as he stared at the giant clock tower in the distance. "Haruhi may be basically indifferent, but if she had to decide, she does tend to favour men's clothing. Besides, when she first joined the Host Club, didn't she say…?"

"You know, being a host, and getting fussed over by girls might not be all that bad."

He sighed, staring down at his feet as his hand slowly slid down the window. "Why did I never realise it before? It's just possible that the Zuka Club is a better match for them than the Host Club could ever be, isn't it?"

He has a point!

"What's more, they're far more suited to go to a girls' school," Kaoru said.

"Waah! Haru-chan and Rin-chan are going to transfer away!" Honey-senpai cried, latching onto Rin's dress and sobbing.

"What do we do?" Hikaru asked.

"With Haruhi's smarts, she'll easily pass Lobelia's scholarship tests," Kaoru said.

"Rin could easily afford all of the entrance fees too," Hikaru said.

"At Lobelia, she'd probably be able to pay back her 8 million yen debt," Kyoya said, Mori-senpai giving a nod.

"Calm down! Calm down, gentlemen. Listen to what I have to say. Rin, would you want to leave us here and go to school at…Lobelia?" he asked with a shiver.

"There's no way I would go there. I probably wouldn't even be smart enough to go there, first of all. And I couldn't leave you guys; I'd miss you all too much."

Honey-senpai's eyes lightened up as he cheered. Hikaru sighed with relief and she sent him a smile, telling him everything was fine. Tamaki took a very dramatic sigh of relief as he touched her shoulder. "Since you're not going to be leaving us, you'll help us."

"Help you with what?" she asked as Honey-senpai let go and went back over to Mori-senpai.

"I've got a secret plan," Tamaki whispered to them with a smirk.


Ouran Academy presents Cultural Club Exposition Day 2

The girls in the crowd screamed as the lights flickered on stage, holding up signs of their favourite members while wearing fan made t-shirts. All of the Ouran students behind them stared in shock at what was happening on stage.

" Lo- " Hinako sung, wearing an outfit similar to a bee.

" -be- " Chizuru sung, wearing the same outfit.

" -li- " Benio sung, her outfit similar, yet coloured red and pink instead.

" -a " The three girls and the chorus behind them sung at once, the curtains slowly lowering as they ended their performance, the cheers of all the Lobelia students filling the theatre.

"Today's performance was a great success, huh?" Hinako asked as they walked through the courtyard.

"Our singing and acting comes across well, wherever we go," Chizuru said, tossing some of her hair back over her shoulder.

"But today's main event is about to begin."

Rin walked down the hallway, searching everywhere for Haruhi. Rin was the distraction in Tamaki's plan; to lure the three girls into the Host Club. And there was no better way to get this motion into play than to get Haruhi into unintentionally.

"Rin? Is that you?" Haruhi asked, making Rin turn around, her heels clicking on the ground as she walked over to her.

"Oh hey, I was just looking for you."

"What are you wearing, by the way?" She raised an eyebrow, confused as to what was going on and why she wasn't wearing her uniform.

"I assume you can figure it out."

"Tamaki?" Rin nodded, like it was very obvious. "You should get you out of here before those Lobelia Girls' come back."

"Uh, yeah…"

"Hey there, maidens," Benio said as she turned around with a wave.

"As promised yesterday, we've come to ask you again," Hinako said.

"We are really going to set things straight with those Host Club people today," Chizuru said.

"Set what straight?" Haruhi asked.

"That maidens like you should be in a place more appropriate for them!" Benio said as she grabbed hold of Haruhi's arm, dragging her down the hallway as the other two twirled around, twirling Rin around with them until they had reached the door to Music Room #3.

Chizuru suddenly gasped, grabbing hold of Rin's hand and lifting them into the air. "You look like an angel fallen from heaven!" she gasped, holding a huge smile on her face.

"It's such a shame you have to work for those horrid boys," Benio said as she placed her hand on Rin's shoulder, trying to get closer to see her face.

"Luckily, it won't be much of a problem after today," Hinako said as Rin shrugged Benio off her shoulder, taking a step away from her to try and become less uncomfortable.

Haruhi placed her hands on the doors and opened them, her and the Lobelia girls gasping at the sight.

The room was pitch black, a strange, large shape that sat on the ground in the middle of the room. Rin quickly stepped inside the room, turning to face the Lobelia girls with a smile on her face.

"Ladies, I welcome you to the Ouran Host Club," she said as she moved her hand over towards the weird shaped figure on the ground, moving away for the girls to see.

Purple lights turned on, showing the shape was made up of six silhouettes that were sat on the ground.

" Ouran " the first figure sung as they stood up.

" Ouran " the second figure sung – the figure very similar to the first.

" Ouran " a deep voice sung as they stood up, holding up one hand.

" Ouran " a very unenthusiastic voice sang as they held their hands together.

" Ouran " a loud and young voice sung, holding a bunny toy in their hands.

The chandelier light turned on, showing who each of the figures were as the last one stood up.

" Ouran " Tamaki sung out as the rest of the Host Club members got into position, all of them dressed in full drag.

" Host Club! Welcome! " The members sung in chorus; Haruhi and the three Lobelia Girls staring in absolute shock and a little bit of disgust, none of them moving as they all turned pale.

"Oh, Haruhi, welcome," Tamaki said as he twirled towards them.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan! I'm a princess! Do I look good?" Honey-senpai asked as he posed with his finger pointed at his cheek.

"What kind of stunt is this!?" Benio asked, offended by the costumes. "Are you trying to make fun of our culture!?"

"Make fun? No, certainly not. I have taken everything into account. This is a surefire technique, guaranteed among commoners to make even a crying child happy, the Freebie Campaign! You ladies who have lived sheltered lives at Lobelia might not know this, but commoners are apt to have a weakness for free things. It's true that Haruhi may now be distracted, and sensing the appeal of joining the Zuka Club. However, if you choose our club, your brothers and sisters come with it!"

[Sister Tamaki:]

Long, curly blonde extensions that reached his waist.

Purple eyeshadow, red lipstick, and blush (that was not blended properly) covered his face.

Blue earrings, a red, gold and light pink ball gown with white gloves and a feather headpiece.

[Sister Hikaru and Kaoru:]

Auburn extensions that were ridiculously curled and put into pigtails that reached their mid-backs.

Green eyeshadow, pink lipstick and blush (that was not blended properly) covered their faces.

Green earrings, a blueish-greenish and yellow and white ball down with white gloves and a fan each.

[Sister Honey]

Long, wavy blonde extensions that reached his waist line.

Blue eyeshadow, bright pink lipstick and blush (that was not blended at all and formed a doll-like circle) covered his face.

A pink bow in his hair and a pink and white ball gown.

Usu-chan was also decked out, wearing pink lipstick and a red bow.

[Brother (only) Takashi]

Blue marching band outfit with golden tassels on the shoulders and a white sash.

White gloves and a large blue and white feathered piece on his back.

Tambourine.

[Sister (Mother?) Kyoya]

Long black extensions worn in a ponytail that reached his mid-back.

Only purple lipstick was worn on his face as his glasses would hide any eye-makeup.

Purple and white ball gown with a maid headpiece, grey gloves and a black fan.

[Sister (only) Rin]

Hair worn down and hanging over her right shoulder.

White headband and a golden necklace and bracelet.

Black collared shirt, a white sweater and a short green plaided skirt.

"Yes, the plan is to experience the feeling of being in the Zuka Club, while still staying in the Host Club," Tamaki continued. "You see, Haruhi? Aren't I pretty?"

"We're the Hitachiin Sisters! Which one is prettier?"

"Just teasing!" Hikaru said while Kaoru put on an old fashioned laugh.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan! You can call me Big Sister!"

"Aren't I a good little sister?" Rin asked as she curtsied.

Kyoya fanned himself with a smirk while Mori-senpai smacked the tambourine.

"Y-You think a maiden can be taken in by this!?" Benio yelled. "We've had enough of your fooling around!"

Then, Haruhi burst out into laughter, holding her stomach as she fell down to her hands and knees, shocking both the Host Club and the Zuka Club.

"Too much!" she shouted as she laughed. "I don't even know what this means! I thought you guys were goofballs, but geez…" She wiped tears from her eyes.

"Are we really that funny?" Honey-senpai and the twins asked as they rushed over, chasing her around as she continued to scream with laughter. "Call me Big Sister! Big Sister! Big Sister!"

"Stop! Stop! Really, stop it, already. What were you thinking, really?"

"Well, we want to run the Host Club with you, Haruhi," Hikaru said as he went and adjusted his pigtail extensions, which Rin came over and helped with.

Haruhi suddenly smiled, the realisation suddenly coming to her.

"Maiden, are you…" Benio started, trailing off as Haruhi stood up, brushing herself off as she turned to face her.

"I'm sorry. There are all sorts of people in the world, and I do think that your way of thinking is unique and interesting, but I'm studying at this school because I have a goal for my future, so I never intended to quit Ouran here to begin with."

"Haruhi!" Tamaki cried with joy, Mori-senpai smacking the tambourine as applause. His face suddenly changed as he thought for a second, before pointing a finger at Haruhi. "Hold on! If you weren't planning to quit, why did you act so angry yesterday?"

"When you sell people's things without asking them, they usually get mad! The mechanical pencil was easy to write with, and I liked it!"

"Sorry about that. Still, I offered you this complimentary teddy-bear pencil, didn't I?"

"I told you, I don't want it."

"W-What about you, maiden? Are you…" Chizuru asked, hesitating at the thought of the "worst".

"I've been told by the majority of people I've met that I get attached too easily. And unfortunately for you, that is no different with these guys. I love these guys, probably a little too much, but they've become my family. There is no possible way I could ever leave these guys. But, there is another problem, and the Zuka Club might not be able to accept me after I tell you."

"And what is that, young maiden?" Benio asked, her eyes widening.

"You have this opinion that women are superior to men and that us females shouldn't settle for them, right? I guess I've settled."

"Maiden! You don't mean…?"

"I'll prove it to you," Hikaru said with a smirk as he walked up to her.

"You cannot kiss me with that make up on, or the extensions," Rin said as she pushed him away.

Hikaru didn't say another word as he removed the extensions from his hair and quickly wiped off the make-up on his face before grabbing her by the waist. "You were saying?" he asked, right before he kissed her, the Zuka Club gasping in both shock and horror. Especially Benio.

"Benio…" Chizuru muttered, holding her hand out to her.

Benio quickly hid her rage, going back to her composure self. "Yeah, I know," she said with a sigh, making Rin and Hikaru separate. "We're not giving up on you, maidens. We swear to you, someday, we will come and rescue you both from this place, and bring down this Host Club! And Rin, I promise you that we'll help you overcome the brainwashing from that red haired devil."

She paused as she let the words sink in, a smirk forming on her face as she turned and waved. "Zai jian."

Zai jian = Until we meet again

The three twirled gracefully out the door, purple lily petals flying through the air as they laughed. Until the dreaded monkey from earlier, but this time with two friends, threw two banana peels each, sending the three girls sliding down the hallway as they screamed.

The door slammed shut on its own, sending the room into silence as the lights suddenly went out.

Renge lifted out of the ground, sitting next to the monkey with a banana peel in his hands, ready to throw if necessary.

"And so, a new rival, the Zuka Club, appears, and the story becomes even more exciting," she said as she peeled a banana. "What fate awaits them from here on? Hang in there, Host Club! Don't give in, Host Club!"

"Hey!" Tamaki shouted. "Don't go livening things up on your own!"

Renge took a bite out of the banana, and almost immediately the monkey – this time wearing the Ouran female uniform – threw the banana peel right under Tamaki's foot, him slipping and falling down on the ground.


Tamaki: If Haruhi really is suffering under a life of poverty – Ah, this has me worried! I have to go check this out!

Haruhi: You'll make nothing but trouble. You don't have to come.

Tamaki: Are you Haruhi's father?

Haruhi: Next time, "A Day in the Life of the Fujioka Family".

Tamaki: Ouran Highschool Host Club will be waiting for you.