Love You
Edward helped me get Emily and Seth ready for bed. Things were pretty uneventful getting the kids in the bath and dressed. Once teeth were brushed, we all sat down in the living room to read a bedtime story. This was wonderful. The kids weren't whining or upset and they were getting to bed before 9 o'clock. That was the icing on the cake and it was all because of Edward. I knew this was dangerous territory. Doing these things with Edward was not the best idea. I was starting to yearn for a content and happy family again, but it wasn't mine to have. Edward might have been mine for a brief period in high school but now he didn't need all this baggage.
Edward took Seth to his room to tuck him in and I carried my sweet little girl to her room. I took this chance to talk to Emily about her daddy. I told her about the first time I met him and the funny little jokes he use to tell. She seemed to really enjoy it and soon was drifting off. I kissed her forehead and said "Night sweet girl. Love you!"
She replied sleepily, "Love you too, Mommy."
I closed the door until it was slightly cracked and crept over to Seth's door. Edward was just tucking him in. I walked in and went to go hug my little guy. "I love you little man!"
He in turn said, "Wuv you, Mama." Then rubbed my belly, "Wuv you too, baby." He proceeded to wrap his little arms around my neck and gave me a kiss on the cheek. My heart filled with so much love for this little guy. How much sweeter could a kid get?
When I looked up I saw Edward standing by the bed looking on with a very serene expression on his face. Once he realized that I was looking at him he shook his head and put his hand out to help me up. I gladly took it since my ability was getting more and more hindered. He slowly pulled me up and lightly pulled me out the door.
I didn't know what to do. I was holding his hand. I was holding the hand of some guy that was not my husband. That familiar feeling of loss hit me and I quickly let go. He looked at me, but seemed to understand my actions.
I stepped past him and walked into the kitchen to start washing dishes and getting everything cleaned up. As I walked up to the sink, Edward kept pace with me and took his spot next to me to dry the dishes. I was thankful. I had stopped using the dishwasher because I was cutting costs everywhere I could. The need to not burn through our saving was a big issue for me. With the baby due soon, I needed to make sure I had enough money to get us past having the baby. I was really hoping that Jake's partner would come through soon and buy Jake's shares of the business, but he was still being a jerk about it and saying that he didn't have to do squat.
Edward and I worked in harmony to get the chores done and when the last dish was put up I turned and Edward was looking at me. I couldn't quite get the emotion that was there. It was a very familiar look, but I couldn't remember when I last saw it. Suddenly he started to lean towards me and put he hands on either side of me on the counter. Gradually he got closer and closer, but then I realized all the reasons why I was so wrong for him now and put my hand on his chest.
"Edward, we can't do this."
"What?"
Pointing between him and me, "We can't do this. You deserve to start a relationship with someone who doesn't have so much baggage. I have to think of my kids right now."
"Bella, I love your kids. And I still love you. Nothing has changed for me since we dated in high school."
"You're wrong."
"No, I'm not!"
"I have two kids and one on the way! How is that not completely different? Building a relationship is hard enough, but throwing in two children and then eventually a baby is just too much for a bachelor your age. You need to go out and meet new and interesting people. Live the life that you've deprived yourself of."
"You make me sound like I'm fifty." He smiled. "But I don't want that, Bella." He said exasperatedly. "I want you. I've only wanted you. None of the other girls ever held a flame to you!"
"How do you know? You never dated after I left."
"What are you talking about? I dated, it just never went passed a first date. They were miserable excuses of a date because they weren't you."
I took a long cleansing breath, "And what will happen if you decide that all this is too much to take on. How will the kids handle it? They would be devastated. Seth is already enamored by you. How could I let another man into Emily heart only to fear it getting broken again? I just can't do it right now."
"I would never do that, Bella."
"You say that now, but how do you know?" I go to sit down at the table. "I think we need to just keep it as a friendship and then if things change we will cross that bridge, but we can't jump right back in where we were in high school. We aren't teenagers. There are more hearts at stake than our own."
He is looking at the floor. "I won't give up. I still love you and every time I'm with your kids which has only been a total of two times I fall more in love with them too."
"It's still too soon." I look at the clock and feel like we need to end this so that I can get some semblance of sleep. "You should probably leave now."
He nods and goes to gather his keys and wallet. As he opens the door he looks at me and says, "I'm not giving up yet. The flame is as bright as ever for me."
He then closes the door and he is gone. I go to sit on the couch and mull over all that he has said in my brain. Then fall asleep on the couch catching glimpses of a life that only Edward could bring. I wake startled and drowsily head to my own bed.
I am almost caught up to where I was before the re-edit. I know it has taken me forever, but I just wasn't happy with the format of the story. I wanted it to go in a certain direction.
