AN: Dedicated to under. that. sun because having even just one person review EVERY stupid chapter I put up is literally enough motivation to run off of or I'd get pissed off and jealous and quit. Thank you!


"S-So, now that you're all clean and dry again, why don't I show you my kitchen?" Penguin offered Sanji shyly when he returned to the Revolver in a fresh suit.

The blonde nodded absently. "Yeah, might not be a bad idea to start dinner now with this many people."

"Er," Penguin fumbled. "I already started preparing most of dinner last night, so it shouldn't take that long to make. I was more uh thinking like. I could make something for you?"

Sanji blinked at him like this concept was totally foreign in idea and nature. "Eh?"

The other cook pulled his hat down over his eyes. "I mean. I just figure since you're allways the one taking care of everyone else on the ship and don't even let anyone else into the kitchen, then you probably don't ever get to relax and let someone else make something for you? Or you know. Whatever."

Sanji still looked like this idea was totally incomprehensible. "Uhhhh sure? I guess?"

Penguin looked just shy of panicking, a state so pathetic Shachi kind of wanted to shove his best friend overboard into the ocean next. "I think what he means to say, is that he wants to thank you," the engineer jumped in.

Penguin shot him a look of absolute betrayal, jabbing him in the side with his elbow. "Dude what are you doing don't fuckin' try to help!"

"Well you clearly need it!" Shachi hissed back, shoving at his friend. The two adults smacked and grappled childishly for a few moments. Sanji raised a bemused eyebrow.

"Er-" Penguin straightened. "What he means is that. Last time, when I was on your ship and helped you make lunch, I was really inspired! I'd always treated being the cook as more my job than anything, but when I saw how much love you put into even such simple meal I felt like... Like I wanted to be better, you know? So I wanted you to... try one of the new recipes I've been learning?" The cook finished hesitantly, like he had run out of things he wanted to say and just ended up winging it.

Sanji, at least, had completely accepted this answer. "Ohhhh, I see," he smiled, momentarily dazzling Penguin with its charm. "I'm happy to hear it! Let's see what you've got then, lead the way."

Penguin scrambled to lead the chef inside towards the kitchen, Shachi holding out a hand for his friend to high-five as they passed him.

Zoro, who had finally woken up and was now leaning lazily against a railing, scoffed at the entire display. "He's not gonna get anywhere."

Shachi just shrugged, not looking at him. "Probably not. But as his best friend, it's my job to play wing-man for him whether its hopeless or not, so."

The swordsman made a disgusted noise, but no further comment, relaxing back against the railing to try to ignore the universe again. "Aw fuck," he muttered as the deck door swung back open not even a minute later. "Aaaaand the lovebirds are back. That's way better, I'm glad." He grumbled as Luffy dragged Law onto the deck by his hand.

Luffy, having heard this as he swung the door open, happily rebuking his first mate. "What did I tell you about being a grumpy unkissable loveless loser?"

"Go fuck yourself."

"See you say that, but if I wanted to I really could, so. Try a better comeback next time, Loser McLoserton the Super-Bum." Luffy dismissed cheerfully.

"Your comeback is even worse! Super-Bum? You sound like a little kid!"

Nami chuckled. "Yeah, but it's accurate. You're both a loser and a total hobo."

Mag, whom she had been talking to, rubbed at her nose. "He does have a bit ovva smell about him, dunn'e?" Wordlessly, her fellow ginger held out a fist for Mag to bump her own to.

"I hate you all and would gladly light this ship on fire just to watch you all burn," Zoro responded dispassionately. He was ignored.

Luffy rocked back onto his heels, swinging he and Law's joined hands between them. "So, Torao, now that I've gotten the Ole Grand Tour, what should we do?"

"Uhhhhhh," Law shifted awkwardly. "I have no idea. Lately I've just been kind of fucking off by myself, so." He shrugged.

"Oh my god you're so boring why do I like you." Luffy complained dejectedly. "Fiiiiiine, I'll think of something fun for us to do."

"That doesn't sound ominous at all," Law said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're not going to leave me alone like you did on the Sunny, are you?"

"Wasn't really planning on it, no." Luffy confirmed. "Well for now, I think you should pick me up and carry me."

Law dropped his hand. "What? Why?"

"It's only fair, isn't it?" Luffy argued with a slight pout. "I mean, back in Dressrosa-"

Law slapped a hand over his boyfriend's mouth before he could finish, interrupting with a sharp "YES, I see, you have made your point and won me over. Leap into my arms."

Zoro snorted loudly. "Aw, don't tell me you're embarrassed? Didn't it take like an hour for you guys to get up there and find that key? I mean, an awful LOT of people saw on the way..."

Law, hand still clamped over Luffy's mouth, shot him a look dripping with venom and ignored the smaller captain licking his palm grossly. Those among the Heart Pirates who were scattered around looked among themselves, as if trying to see if anyone looked like they knew what they were talking about.

Zoro grinned wickedly. "Ooooh, do they not even know? Were you so embarrassed you just skipped that part of the story or something? Hahaha, that's great!"

"Do you ever do anything other than sleep and be an asshole?" Law shot back, wiping his now-dirty hand on the arm of Mag's jumpsuit.

Zoro shrugged. "Not if I can help it. Speaking of which, I think there's a LOT of things I could tell your crew about that you might have neglected, huh?"

"All right, that's it." Law held out his open palm, Kikoku falling into it before anyone had even noticed the Room he'd cast (elsewhere on the ship, in the place where his nodachi used to lay now existed a paperclip with a piece of lint caught on it). "You wanna do this, let's fucking GO. Whip 'em out, let's measure them, Roronoa."

"FINALLY," Zoro laughed, pulling out his own swords with gleeful homicide in his eyes.

"Wait- wait no- please wait-" Shachi grabbed Luffy by the shoulder. "You can stop them, right? You should maybe stop them." The engineer pleased, panic rapidly mounting.

The young captain just laughed merrily. "What? Stop them? Are you kidding? This is gonna be great!" Indeed, his own eyes sparkled with unconcealed joy. "I never get to watch Torao fight, I'm allways busy also fighting! Plus, he's fighting Zoro? Like I could ask for something COOLER. I wanna see what happens."

Bepo frowned. "'See what happens?' Are you saying you don't think Captain will win?" All of the scattered members of the Heart Pirates on deck caught attention to that.

Luffy shuffled awkwardly. "Well, I mean. I haven't seen them fight, so I really can't say one way or another..."

"What? Are you kidding, it's obvious our captain would win!" Mag shook her fist, and Gabishi rumbled in agreement.

The Strawhat didn't meet their eyes. "I dunno, I mean. Zoro's my first mate, and I have absolute faith in him, and uh... Well Torao is amazing for a lot of reasons and I adore him, but what I've seen in Punk Hazard and Dressrosa was ummmm. Unflattering?"

Five members of the Heart Pirates glaring murder at Luffy, and five feet away the men in question were a half a second away from attacking. "KICK HIS ASS, CAPTAIN!" Someone yelled, a small chorus of cheers behind it.

Shachi, meanwhile, was having an aneurysm. "DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO TO THE SHIP?! The kind of fucked up artwork I've seen the captain make while he LANDSCAPES the environment and a goddamned Strawhat Pirate? THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT FOR US TO SAIL ON!"

Bepo, at least, was listening. "I don't think there's room for all of us on the Thousand Sunny. We should probably stop them, I guess." His ears flickered.

It was of course too late to stop them from STARTING the fight, having already launched into it. "What do we do, what do we DO?" Shachi pulled at his hair, and one of Zoro's swords cut a large portion of railing off and into the ocean.

Bepo pounded a furry fist into his palm. "Ah! Mag!"

"Mag?" The engineer cocked his head to the side, but a moment later his eyes widened. "Of course! MAG!"

The history of the pirate known as Red Mag was such: the moniker, and indeed even original bounty, were acquired before ever setting sail from her home island of Caer Xhan. Though the extent of her involvement in the organized crime of that land is ultimately unclear, she was known throughout the local underworld as one of the most feared hitters of the Esmeraude Clan; The Unkillable Red Mag. A title gained from countless fights ended with her covered in not only the blood of her enemies, but also unreasonable amounts of her own.

The "Unkillable" part is the reason Trafalgar had found interest in her. It was readily apparently from watching her fight that she possessed no haki, or even real fighting skills. What she did have was the bizarre ability to keep getting up and fighting no matter how many times one shot, stabbed, or otherwise bludgeoned her. Indeed, even when a wound did incapacitate her past consciousness, her healing was so impressive that she would be back on her feet in working order in a fraction of the time it would take anyone else to recover. Upon finding no scientific explanation for this, Law had lost interest in trying to puzzle her out, mainly due to an unfortunate habit she had of continuing to babble incoherently even while under the knife, and had hired her on the crew for the only other talent(1) she possessed – piloting submarines.

All this was what made Bepo's idea... well, if not sane, then at least we can say "likely to work."

Now, at the sound of her name, the redhead turned around from where she had been cheering on the fight. Before she could even ask "Aye?" Shachi and Bepo grabbed her by the shoulder, apologized for this, and gave her a hard, direct push forward – directly in between a rampaging Roronoa Zoro, Trafalgar Law, and the unreasonable amount of SWORD they carried between the two of them.

It was only by the virtue of the extreme talent of the two swordsmen that Mag was not cleaved clean in half. She was, however, still technically cut into two pieces anyway, as most of her arm was now on the deck. Kikoku was thrust forward through her body cleanly, but Sandai Kisetsu and Shusui had managed to cut through her arm and a large portion of her shoulder before the men could pull back.

"WHAT THE SWEET FUCK," Law shouted, the entire crew scrambling into action around them. Zoro was backing away, bloodied swords clattering to the floor. "What the FUCK! Zoya, go prep the OR, Gabishi, go grab Ohm, I'll need them on the surgery!"

Mag wasn't screaming, just hissing in pain and writhing a little on the floor, swearing "WHOOO, that's a dilly of a FUCKIN' pickle!"

Nami, however, though she had previously been uninterested in every part of the display, DID scream. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?"

"God damn mother fucking- We can't even go one FUCKING day without needing to sew up my Planesman? Just ONE DAY," Trafalgar swore, carefully teleporting he, Mag, and the pieces of Mag still on the deck floor to the Operating Room.

The rest of the heart Pirates apparently all knew their place, a couple scrambling about and a few others staying quietly out of the way. The members of the Strawhat crew on board were just Luffy, Nami and Zoro, who were all more or less at a complete loss.

"Well that's not what I thought would happen," Luffy said finally.

"How was that okay? In what universe was doing that OKAY?" Nami said, shaking her head.

Bepo, who had politely grabbed a mop bucket to clean up his crew mate's blood, bowed to her. "Ah. Sorry you had to see that. But it is okay, since it's Mag. Anyone else would have been really bad, but. Mag will always be okay, so. It's fine."

Nami whirred on him. "You pushed her into the middle of that fight and she got her arm cut off! She got run through with a SWORD! How is any of that okay?!"

Shachi scratched at the back of his head. "Well yeah, it LOOKS bad, but. I promise, Mag is a LOT faster, cheaper, and just plain EASIER to fix than the ship would have been. The captain wouldn't have hit any of her organs and the arm can go right back on, so she'll be up and running around again in no time, promise!"

Nami still looked horrified, and Zoro still seemed shaken – he hadn't said a word the whole time, just cleaned the girl's blood of his swords and resolutely turned his eyes towards the Thousand Sunny, in the opposite direction of the bloodstain on the floor and the door to the operating room she now lay in.

Luffy drew in a breath. "No one looks, worried, not even Torao," He said, resolutely. "They have faith in their nakama. She's strong, and they know it, so they won't worry. They're her crew, not us – if they say it's fine, then it must be." He patted his first mate on the shoulder. "And when she does get up you can apologize. So, everything WILL be fine, even if it isn't now."

"I was never worried," Zoro shrugged off Luffy's hand. His captain snickered.

"Sure, you weren't worried and you don't feel bad about it at all."

"I never said I didn't FEEL bad. I'm a douchebag, not Satan himself."

Nami shook her head, watching a polar bear mop a blood stain off the deck of a yellow submarine. "Being a pirate is so fucked up."

As expected, it really was all just fine. The surgery itself took less than a half hour, and Mag was up from the drugs and ironically apologizing to Zoro and Law for getting in the way another hour after that, Zoya sitting at her bedside diligently ignoring her friend.
Once it was conformed that yes, she did in fact still have full range of motion in that shoulder, business resumed the same way it always did when Mag got busted up – they sent Caesar Clown to watch her because as long as she had someone to talk at it lessened the chances of her injuring herself further(2), and resumed everything else as normal.

"Penguin and Blackleg-ya said dinner will be ready soon, but I don't think that means we have to wait at the door salivating," Law complained, adjusting his grip on Luffy's legs, hoisting him up higher on his back. "Oh my god are you literally drooling on me? This better not be spit on my shoulder!"

Just behind Law's head, Luffy rubbed at his chin. "To be fair, that's not even the weirdest place I've gotten my spit on you TODAY."

"THAT'S NOT A GOOD ARGUMENT," Law said, marching down the hallway and away from the kitchen doors they'd wound up loitering in front of.

"But I can smeeelllllll iiiiiit," Luffy whined, turning his head to look back at the closed door longingly as his boyfriend carried him off.

They wound up wandering up to the highest deck on the submarine, where naturally, Luffy then insist they climb onto the roof of that they might be on the highest point on the ship aside form the mast. Law sat down, but rather that trying to unwind the other from around his torso, just sort of slid downwards, until Luffy was sitting upright with Law's head pillowed in his lap as they looked at the sky.

"Looks like we just missed the sunset," Luffy said idly, threading his fingers through Law's dark hair without thinking as they looked at the fading purple of the twilight sky.

"Stars aren't out yet," Law answered quietly.

For a little while, neither of them said anything, just silently watched the sky as the stars slowly twinkled into view one by one.

Then, naturally, whatever Franky and Nue had been playing with on the Thousand Sunny blew up and shot a laser beam into the sky. Luffy burst out laughing. "Hahaha! What a great day!" he declared jovially.

Law groaned and buried his face in his hands. "How do they keep DOING that? It's like everything Nue touches blows up! Why do they keep trying to use lasers if this happens EVERY time?!"

Luffy giggled. "Why do you keep trying to talk to Zoro when all you two do is get into fights? Some things just are they way they are! Life's more fun with explosions and sword fights anyway."

"It's not just me and Zoro. Something about bringing these two crews together, everyone keeps getting into fights and blowing things up! It's pure chaos and I don't even know WHY!"

"It's... you know, chemistry! We have chemistry!" The Strawhat argued happily, grinning down at the deadpan look on his boyfriend's face. "Well, I like it! I really like your crew, Torao. I'm glad I won't have to worry about leaving you alone anymore, since I know they'll take care of you when I'm not around."

Law's face twisted into a frown. "What do you mean, 'worry about leaving you alone?'"

"Wellllll, from what I've seen, you tend to do PRETTY stupid stuff when you're left by yourself."

Law very nearly shot out of his lap, but settled for the less dramatic icy glare. "That's the pot calling the fucking kettle black," he spat.

"No, I do CRAZY things. You do things that KILL you," Luffy argued back, wearing a rare frown. "STUPID things like give your heart to Caesar Goddamned Clown and get shot by Mingo! He KILLED you, Torao! I mean, you didn't stay that way, but- but I got there and you were already dead and – and I was worried you do more stupid asshole things like that while I'm not around!"

Law's body untensed, relaxing in defeat against Luffy's thighs. "It's not like I was trying to kill myself. But... I do go into that whole Doflamingo thing prepared to die," he admitted lowly.

"That's exactly the problem!" Luffy shouted. "I've never gone into a fight prepared to die, not once in my life! That's how you got so fucked up my him!"

"Yeah, well that didn't stop you from getting killed at Marineford, did it?!"

Both of them instantly froze.

"Shit. Shit I didn't mean to say that," Law back-pedaled.

"Yeah that was a low blow, dude. Like, right in the dick. I think I might be impressed if I weren't still reeling from that sucker punch."

"I'm sorry! God damn. How about you stop talking about Doflamingo and I won't bring up your brother, how about that?"

"Inarguably fair," Luffy grumbled, a now awkward silence falling between them.

Law tried to fish around for something to say that would un-fuck up this situation. "Well. I don't feel that way anymore, anyway. Rather than feeling like my life's work is done, now that I've gotten something like closure I feel like it would be a waste to die. Like there's so much left in life now that I've gotten him out of it, you know?"

Finally, Luffy smiled again. "Yeah? So you aren't going to do dying on me while I go find One Piece?"

The surgeon scoffed. "Like I could now even if I wanted to. I can't die in front of my crew, that would be humiliating! Not to mention they can't take care of themselves without me- I left them alone for a few months and half of them DIED. If I actually kicked the bucket they'd probably get eaten by a kraken in a week!"

Luffy laughed that charming little snicker of his. "Well then, sounds like you'll be taking care of each other! Just like it should be. Imagine how fast my whole crew would die if you took away a single one of us?"

Law considered this. Nami and Sanji and Chopper were obvious, of course. Zoro was probably needed those times when Luffy ran off on his own and left no one protecting the crew, Usopp had already saved Law's life, Franky kept the ship running, Nico Robin was Nico Robin... "You could probably be alright for a while without Brook?"

Luffy shook his head. "Yeah, you'd think that? But it turns out Brook is what keeps us from killing EACH OTHER. He can manage to diffuse fights without us even noticing, and we've kind of been using him as crew therapist or whatever. Before we picked him up Usopp and I got into a fight so bad he left the crew for a while, and lately I can't help but think if we'd had Brook back then he'd have been able to prevent that before we even got as mad as we were. Well. I dunno, it might have been inevitable, with the Merry. Who knows."

Law blinked, trying to imagine, of all people, Luffy and Usopp mad enough to hate each other. It was incomprehensible. "Well. I guess that answers that, then."

Luffy beamed. "See? You understand. That's just what nakama are for! Keeping each other alive and sane and stuff."

"Yeah," Law agreed mildly. "But it's not like they're the only reason I have to live," he finished meaningfully.

"Eh?" Luffy asked, furrowing his eyebrow. "Do you mean something specific?"

He had already been leaning down to look Law in the eye, but look on his face was different now. There was an intensity in Law's eyes, a weight to that gaze tasted like a question Luffy already knew the answer to.

His face instantly heated into a flush. "Oh," he said quietly, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that Law's head was pillowed in his lap, and his boyfriend was still looking at him with that look on his face. "I see," he mumbled, glancing away.

Law smirked. He raised one arm, his right arm, the one that had been – Law's hand came up to Luffy's face, running his fingers through the hair falling in front of his eyes. The younger leaned into the touch for a moment, before bending down to press a kiss to Law's forehead.

And then Penguin was calling out "SOUP'S ON!" and Luffy bolted so fast Law's head slammed against the metal roof of his submarine.

"Ow." He said dispassionately.

Luffy's head poked back up from the deck below. "Come on Torao hurry up we're gonna miss the fooood!"

"Yeah, I'm coming," Law assured, one of Luffy's hands shooting to grab Law's own and drag him down.

Well. At least some things were predictable.


Dinner itself was easier than anyone had thought it would be, as it turned out the entirety of both crews fit inside the Revolver's mess hall with relative ease. Particularly since there were at least two people not currently present to take up space or annoy the crowd.

Sanji, after making sure everyone was served and eating, looked around the large room. "Where's Miss Mag?" He asked. "I would hate for her to miss dinner."

The pirates in Sanji's immediate vicinity all froze. Unfortunately, one idiot spoke up to answer the questi0n.

"Oh, she's in the infirmary with Caesar, isn't she? Should I bring her down some food" Kazu asked innocently. Someone threw a baked potato at him.

Sanji frowned. "The infirmary? What for? Is she alright?"

"Ssss-she's fine!" Shachi assured quickly, Zoya nodding rapidly across the table from him. "She just had a little slip and fell!"

The chef's eyebrow furrowed. "And she needed to go to the infirmary for it?"

"She fell into a bucket of swords," Nami answered, her face completely straight.

"The poor delicate flower!" Sanji cried, and someone behind him stifled a bark of laughter into a cough. "I should go and bring her some dinner myself, see how she's doing!"

The Heart pirates all looked around at each other in panic – Mag would, of course, tell Sanji exactly what happened (in a way that made it sound like it had been her own fault, not that Sanji would listen...). "I don't think you wanna do that..."

"Oh? And why not? Surely she shouldn't be left alone at a time like this-"

"She isn't alone," Law said, startling Sanji. "Caesar Clown is with her."

At that, Sanji's face twisted in a scowl. "UGH. I forgot you kept that guy! I don't know how you can stand him!"

"We didn't know what else to do with him, honestly," Law answered with a casual shrug. "And Mag likes him well enough for some reason. So, since Kazu is already bringing down plates for the both of them," the captain said with a pointed look, Kazu scurrying off to grab food for his crewmates. "You really don't need to bother."

"I guess it's fine for now., then," Sanji agreed, and everyone let out a breathe of releif.

Everyone who knew what had happened earlier, anyway. "Whhhhaaat?" Gawaine crowed. "Is THAT what happened this time? I though this was why we didn't keep buckets of weapons around anymore! BECAUSE OF MAG!"

Next to him, Sano rubbed at his chin. "Yeah, didn't she shoot off her own toe knocking over a rifle like, two months ago?"

"No, that was me," Buccha admitted. "Mag lost HER toe when Ohm was trying to teach her to juggle knives."

Gawaine frowned. "I thought that was Kazu. So wait, then who blew off their toes in an explosion, then?"

Nue and Shachi both raised their hands. "That was us, we dropped something and we lost a few each when it exploded at our feet!"

Luffy was choking with laughter, one pork cutlet still on his fork as he laughed himself off of the bench. Law buried his face in his hands.

This. These were his people. These were his goddamned nakama, right here.

Yeah. It was good to be alive.

(1) The level at which she played the fiddle could be considered neither "talent" nor "skill". It was, at kindest, a hobby.

(2) This position was generally known as "Mag Duty." The job of Mag Duty was permanently given to Caesar Clown upon his promotion to Actual Crew Member because, to quote, "Mag had Caesar Clown Duty" while the scientist had still been prisoner. Citing that this made no sense and also he REALLY hated her, Caesar argued against this task, but since Law had already judged Mag to be the person Caesar was most likely to try to kill once he was free, she had been given his heart before he was released, and his arguments negated. Considering this situation meant the rest of the crew no longer had to deal with neither Mag nor Caesar anytime she was heavily injured (which was often,) the Heart Pirates called this the best idea they'd ever had and washed their hands of it. Mag herself was delighted, and Caesar Clown considered suicide.