It had been 2 weeks since Jen and Tilly spoke. They had exchanged a few pleasant "How are you texts" But that was it….
Jen woke up early With Tilly on her mind…grabbing her phone she sent her a text before heading into the shower…
As Tilly Lay awake with a heavy heart…This time of year was the worst for her…As her phone beeps she sighs. Thinking its Zoe being her happy self…Tilly just wasn't in the mood….
I know what today is…
Im here if you need someone…J…xxx
Today was the second anniversary of Maddie, .Jono and Neil's death….Tilly missed them everyday But this day was always hard….She was especially upset at the fact she was miles away from home and couldn't visit them….
She smiled at the fact Jen remembered and thought of her…As Nice as her concerns were Tilly didn't want to be around anyone today…
Zoe turnt up an hour later….So I was thinking me and you should go get all blurry eyed…My Mum has pissed me off big time….
Not today Zo. .Tilly said shaking her head..
Oh c'mon Tills….Its pay day…it's the law….Zoe moaned…
I said not today Zo…Tilly snapped….Instantly feeling bad…Look Babe…I didn't mean to snap but its not a good day for me today…..
Zoe frowned ..why?
Tilly shook her head….She had spoke about Maddie often to Zoe and her forgetting upset Tilly…
Just having a bad day…..Tilly shrugged…I just want to be on my own….Do you mind?
Zoe shook her head…Nope if you want me to Piss off. .I will.. she winked…
Zoe left Leaving Tilly alone with her thoughts ...taking a photo of herself and Maddie she climbed back into bed…
Mmmmm Now what would you say if you were here? She asked looking at Maddie's smiling face…
You would say…Babes Jens a bitch stay away from her…Tilly laughed..
Then you would remind me your much hotter then her….Tilly laughed again…
But then I would explain how much I feel for her and you would roll your eyes tell me im crazy…Then promise to be here when it all goes wrong…Tilly hugged the photo….God I need you here now….
Tilly stayed holding the photo for the next few hours…
Jen mopped around work…checking her phone every few minutes….
Ok C'mon…Your doing my head in/…Whats up? Hayley asked…And I've had 5 "Nothing im fine" all ready this morning…So out with it…
Its Tilly…..Jen muttered…Im worried about her…
Why? Hayley frowned..
Today is the anniversary of her friends death….Jen sighed…I texted her but she hasn't replied….
Hayley nodded…Poor Tilly…..have you tried calling her?
Jen frowned…No…I don't think we're there yet. .I mean we swap texts but that's it…..I just don't like the thought of her being alone …not today..
Well maybe she isn't alone? Maybe Zo…
Yes thank you…Jen said cutting Hayley off….Im aware she may have company…But if I know Tilly she doesn't..
So go there? Hayley shrugged…
What? No….Jen gasped…
Why not? If you know her so well….Go there offer her some company…Hayley dared…
Jen contemplated Hayley's idea…She would have text me if she wanted me…
Yeah maybe….Or…Maybe she's just stubborn..Hayley said handing Jen her coat.
Jen pulled up outside Tillys….She sat in the car for what seemed like hours Just staring up at Tillys window….
She wondered how weird it would be for her if Tilly already had someone there…? Then she thought did it really matter? She wanted Tilly to know she was there…She was to afraid to be there for her when the crash happened..
Now she had a chance to make it up to her…Throwing caution to the wind she knocked the door…
As She waited for an answer she could hear movement behind the door…
"Tilly? She called out..
The noises stopped…..Jen frowned…Tilly is Jen?
Im busy right now Jen….Tilly said through the door…
I text you and I had no reply..Jen explained. I was a little worried …
Yeah I got it…Thanks. I'll call you or something..Tilly replied…Along with another bang…
Jen knew something wasn't right…Tilly…can I come in…? Please..?…Just for a minute….
Why? Tilly asked..
Jen could hear in Tillys voice she was upset….Just so I can see your ok….? I wont stay I promise…
A few moments later..Tilly opened the door a little….Im ok Jen….really. With that Tilly tried to shut the door…
Jen put her hand on it to hold it open….Please Tilly….
Tilly knew Jen wasn't giving up so she left the door….Jen followed her though the flat…
The flat was exactly how Jen had imagined…
Fresh and minimal ..beautiful painting spread across the walls…Uni books everywhere you looked…
As Jen seeks out Tilly she felt sad…
Tilly was drunk. .her eyes red and sore…In her hand a bottle of Vodka and her photo…
Jen sat next to her….You not ok…..She whispered….
No….Tilly cried. No im not. She blurted out. Placing her head in her hands…
Jen wasn't sure what to do. She knew she wanted to hold Tilly tightly till the pain eased but she was scared….What if Tilly shrugged her off?
Tut. Tilly…She muttered touching her knee…..I know today is tough….You shouldn't be alone…
Why not? Tilly sniffed wiping her eyes….I am alone anyways…
Jen shook her head. No your not…You have people that love and care about you…Your friends your family…Jen wanted to say "ME" but something stopped her…
They're not here…My friends are just faces in photo frames…Apart from my parents. I lose everyone I love…..Tilly said angrily…
Tilly im not gonna sit here and tell you it will get better. Because it's the last thing you want to here…But I am here…even if you don't want to talk. I'll just sit here..
Tilly shook her head …You don't have too…
I want too…Jen replied…
Tilly went to grab her glass. But ended up dropping it….Shit ..she moaned leaning down to pick up the pieces…
Tilly leave it. I'll do it…Jen said leaning on the floor to collect the broken glass. As she leans down in front of Jen…she can feel Tillys breath on her skin…
Trying to ignore her own emotions she concentrates on the glass.."Don't move your feet ok?
As Jen finishes cleaning the mess up Her heart skips a beat…Tilly had taking a piece of her hair between her fingers
I use to love playing with your hair. She whispers leaning in closer…It always smelt so good…she added…
I think we need to sober you up….Jen said. Trying to move away..
Tilly shook her head. I don't want to be sober…Not today. She swallowed as she continued to play with Jens hair…
I know what I do need?…I need to feel something…..I need to feel you…
Tilly brushed her lips on to Jens…
Jen hesitate….Please Jen. Tilly whispered before attempting to deepen the kiss….
Kiss me…Tilly begged as she pulled Jen closer entering Jens mouth with her tongue…
As good as it felt to feel Tilly. Jen knew it wasn't right…Tilly no….She said pulling away…
Tilly ignored her and kissed her again…Jen had to find all the strength she had to stop herself….
Tilly please…Jen begged…Getting up off the floor to gain some distance between them…
Tilly wasn't listening to Jen..she didn't care if it was bad timing. She was drunk and in her mind nothing mattered…
C'mon Jen..she swooned as she cornered Jen against the wall…You know you want to…she whispered as she kissed Jens neck whilst trying to un button Jens top…..
Tilly I said no…Jen shouted pushing Tilly away…
Tilly began to laugh….Whats up? I remember a time when you couldn't keep your hands off me….Infact you loved it so much you risked your Career over it….She drank from the bottle…
Tilly please stop drinking that..Jen begged as she tried to get the bottle…
Oooor..Maybe that was what you liked…The whole taboo thing….? Tilly said horribly…Maaaybe im not so appealing now aye…..Maybe you got off on the sneaking around….
The more Tilly drank the neat vodka the nastier she became…
Well? Is that what it is Jen huh?
Jen was trying not to take offence to Tillys outburst. She knew she was grieving…Tilly C'mon…give me the vodka…
Smmmmh your not my mother…Don't tell me what to do…Tilly snapped…
I hate you…She scowered…
Tilly Your drunk…C'mon….Jen said trying to be sympatric…
Tilly began to clap….Well done. Some one give her a teaching Career…Ooops you had one didn't you…? My bad….
Jen was losing her patience with Tilly now. She knew she was in a mess but she wasn't about to let Tilly belittle her…
You know what? Its fine. You want to sit here and feel sorry for yourself then fine…I'll leave you alone…
Yeah go on…Walk away….Tilly shouted. Your good at that…
Jen stopped at the door…Taking a deep breath she turnt back to Tilly…
Maybe you should get some sleep..?
Yeah and ,maybe you should stay out my life..Infact maybe you shouldn't have ever came into my life. Maybe I wish I never met you….
Maybbbbbbbbbbbe if I didn't meet you then I wouldn't be so fucking messed up…..I tell you what Jen….
Walk out of my flat…get in your car and never ….ever…..ever….come near me again…Tilly stood laughing sinking more vodka…
Jen knew she wasn't herself but her words cut deep…..Holding the tears in she nodded..Ok…If that's what you want…
Yep/…it is…See ya….
Jen ran down the stairs and out into the street…Taking a huge deep breath like she was starved of oxygen. She collapsed into the drivers seat. Placing her head on the stirring wheel she broke down…Her tears uncontrollable…
Tilly was a mess….But Jen had never seen her so angry. Or spiteful….One part of Jen was afraid to leave her alone the other part of her wanted to get as far away from her as possible…..
