27-10-10

Dear Mom,

Don't freak. I mean, you will freak, but we won't be around, so please don't ground us or anything when we get back, because we're only trying to help. Face it, you need it.

Thing is, we - Cassidy and I (our English tutor says 'me and Cass' is no longer acceptable, except Cass keeps trying to argue that it should be her name first then it's ok) - sort of found the letters that Andy's sent to you, and so when we talked to her, we got her to tell us what you'd said back, and basically we thought someone better do something before you completely mess up (sorry.)

We're like grown up now, Mom, and we realise that you don't mean to hurt us when you marry and split up and stuff. We think you rush into it, because marriage makes you seem normal, and you think it's good for us to have normal, but I mean really, what is normal? (I could go into detail, because we've just done an assignment on it, but I won't because you'll go all rolly-eyed and won't even get to the end of this before you 'glare and ground'.) There's no such thing, anyway.

And we think you're perfect just the way you are, without any men. Well, not perfect, because nobody can be that, but you're good, and nice, and very very beautiful. And I know we scream at you sometimes, and we hurt you, but it's because we just want to see more of you without you stressing that we hate you all the time. Something like a vicious cirlcle of behaviour I think (really, our tutor is more like a therapist).

Anyway, all of this is besides the point. The point is that Andy really really likes you, she thinks she may be in love with you, but she says that she's done all she can except for dance across rooftops with a big banner naked. We said we didn't think you'd appreciate that. She says she knows you're being stubborn but you are an adult and at the end of the day you make your own choices.

We know you don't feel as though you have a choice, or that you are choosing not to pursue a relationship because you think she deserves better, but honestly, Mom, you have got to get a grip. You have been an absolute nightmare recently, and if we're noticing I can only imagine what you're like at work. Cass caught Emily coming through the door on her hands and knees the other day so she didn't make any noise at all. We know it's because you really like Andy, probably in love with her, and we just don't get how you avoiding her is the best solution; you're unhappy, she's unhappy, half the Elias-Clarke building are unhappy...and we're unhappy too.

We want you to be happy, like you never were with Stephen, or even Dad. And the whole gay thing...I mean, totally not a problem. Andy's cool.

Seriously, Mom, while we're away, will you just, like, write to her, or go and see her, or something? Dance across rooftops with a big banner naked. She'd like that. Can't say we would very much. She's good for you...she told you to take your head out of your ass and we remember the day you got that letter you didn't stop smiling! Point is, we don't care how you do it, Mom, but do it, otherwise we're moving in with Dad and giving you actual reason to wallow depressingly rather than all the...um...(I suppose I'm soo grounded if I say bullshit? Ok,) ridiculous things you have in your head right now.

We love you, Mom.

Caroline & Cassidy

(p.s. Can we submit this letter for English homework? I think parts of it are really eloquent. Cass will say she thought of them, but we're twins. We've got the whole twinny-vibe so technically I thought it, too. And then if we get a good grade, and you get Andy, it's a win-win and nobody has to get grounded :))

xx


Do they help? Does Miranda listen? Is this any good? Review please!