Thanks to Judy (sorry I took long but you made me remember how much I liked this story, so thanks), hillstar, scrumptiousinternetllama, guest, marauders extra, slytherinphoenix and happyland for reviewing the last chapter!

And to recap the last chapter: both marauders were trying on some outfits and taking the polyjuice with the hairs of Tiffany and Diane so they could become women and go in disguise! Tonks obviously doesn't need polyjuice because she's a metamorphmagi!...anyways more craziness!


Chapter 9


Tonks banged on the door. "C'mon Remus! Get out of the washroom so we can have a proper look at you." She smirked and fiddled with the silver piercings in her ear. "C'mon Remus, I'm sure it can't be that bad!"

As soon as Remus had taken his polyjuice with the hairs of Sherbert McLane, he'd ran to the washroom and refused to come out. Which was disappointing because they all wanted to see what 'Diane' looked like.

"I'm not coming out. So you had better just leave Tonks," Remus huffed from behind the door. He'd been there like half an hour.

Sirius, still in lady-form, came up behind her and knocked even louder on the door, nearly blowing the door of its hinges.

Tonks merely raised her eyebrows. Now that Sirius had taken his polyjuice he was a woman with a doll-like face and a petite figure but...he had all the delicacy of a battle axe. Tonks wondered if despite the polyjuice, Sirius had kept all his manly strength in his body.

Sirius came up and banged roughly on the door a few more times than tried his wand on it. "Damn it, he locked it."

Tonks rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, sizing up the other woman. "Well of course he did. Don't you think that's the first spell I would've tried?"

Sirius stared jealousy at her. "Well I know Mooney better than you." He turned back to the door and practically hissed at it. "He just needs a little shove. Oi! Diane! Get your arse out here!"

"No," Remus quipped flatly from the other side.

Sirius knocked again at the door and raised his voice even louder. "MOONEY IF YOU DON'T COME OUT HERE THIS INSTANCE, I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOUR NEW NAME DIANE IS TATTOOED TO YOUR FACE!"

"You wouldn't bloody dare!" Remus growled from the other side.

"Then get your arse out here." Sirius whined and pounded even louder on the door. "C'mon Mooney, you go through bigger tranformations every month when you turn into a werewolf!"

"I don't grow breasts every month!"

Sirius snickered. "No, you grow into something far hairier and less appealing."

Remus growled on the otherside.

"Perhaps you should stop provoking him," Tonks whispered.

"Nonsense!" Sirius laughed and pounded even louder at the door, "Hey is it just the breasts or you actually just panicked because you lost your -"

Sirius never got to finish his sentence as they were both catapulted back onto the floor as the washroom door swung open with a mighty heave and out stepped a furious Remus.

Tonk's mouth fell open as she looked up at the 6 foot 2 blonde woman standing in the doorway.

She was totally unrecognizable, yet there was something Remus-ish about her. With the beastly blonde hair, dangerous almost wolfish curves and high heels with a mini-skirt.

"Holy smackerels," Sirius muttered and his jaw hit the floor too. Tonks had no doubt, Sirius was getting a some wood for his friend too. Which just made the fact that Remus was attracted to female-Sirius even weirder.

"Happy now?" Remus, aka Diane, quipped in a slightly husk and deep voice for a woman.

Sirius suddenly broke down into hysterical laughter, he put a hand on the wall to keep himself upright so he didnt double over with laughter.

Tonks couldn't help chuckling too.

"What?" Remus-Diane asked and her eyes stared confusedly between Sirius and Tonks.

"Oh sweet merlin," Sirius-Tiffany giggled very much like a woman, "I knew Mundungus said Diane was a blonde bint with big feet." He wiped at his eyes. "But this is almost too much! You're too tall for a woman, you look like a man in drag!"

Diane who's temper seemed to grow only worse as a woman grabbed Tiffany-Sirius, who was a tiny woman at 5ft4, around the neck. "Well all the better to push you around!"

"Well some things never change," Tonks smirked as she watched female-Sirius yelp as female-Remus put him in a headlock.

She interrupted their little catfight and pulled apart female-Sirius and female-Diane before they ended up breaking each other's nails.

"C'mon boys, stop the catfight and let's start planning how we're going to get into Malfoy Manor."

Remus scowled. "Yes, well like this, I doubt Malfoy would even pass a second look at me."

Sirius snickered. "You don't know that. For all you know, he likes big girls! You know big strong country girls, the one's that have been fed too much."

Remus swatted him on his head.

"Ouch." Sirius cried and then pulled at the other women's hair in retaliation.

Tonks pinched she-Sirius on the arm. "Quit pulling each other's hair!"

"He started it!"

"I don't care who started it Sirius, you two ladies need to get along!" Tonks admonished them.

Remus pouted and looked sad, so Tonks immediately felt a bit guilty. She walked up to comfort him...er her.

"Don't listen to Sirius. I for one, think you're a beautiful woman," Tonks said a bit awkwardly, because despite being a woman, Remus still sort of felt like Remus even as a woman. Diane and Remus were both blonde, over 6ft and had kind eyes.

"Thanks Tonks," female-Remus said.

Sirius, always the mature one, interrupted their moment. "What are you two lesbians now?"

Remus and Tonks shared a long suffering look. "Shall I do the honours or would you like to?"

Tonks shook her head. "No, you do it much better than me. You still hold quite the knock, even as a woman."

"Though, we could do it at the same time?" Remus suggested mischievously and they shared a grin.

Sirius screamed again as both Tonks and Remus punched him in arm.

"What was that for?!" Sirius shouted, rubbing his sore female arms which were about the size of noodles because Tiffany's body was so small. Still they couldn't let that stop them from bullying Sirius.

"For being a git."

"And," Remus added and put his hands on his large womanly hips. "For not respecting that beauty comes in all sizes."

"I don't like you as a woman, Remus," Sirius muttered darkly.

"Get used it. Diane's new in town but she's going to stay for awhile!"

Tonks and Remus clapped hands. "Girl power!"

That of course, was the moment that Mad-Eye chose to walk in.

Both Tonks, Remus and Sirius who were all in tight shirts and short skirts felt their stomachs turn as Mad-Eye eyed them hungrily.

"Oh god! Somebody help me! I think Mad-Eye just totally saw under my skirt with his magic eye!" female-Sirius yelped and ran out of the room.

Mad-Eye coughed awkwardly and turned to Tonks, the only female he recognized. "Did I do something to offend your lady friend, Nymphadora?"

Tonks sniggered. "Actually that was Sirius that you totally just checked out."

The look of horror on her former teacher's face was priceless. Priceless.

She grabbed female-Remus before Mad-Eye started hitting on her Remus too. "C'mon Remus," she said loudly so Mad-Eye could hear who this lovely blonde woman actually was. "Let's go make the plans to get into Malfoy Manor!"

"Wait up I'm coming!" Sirius called from upstairs as he reappeared fully dressed in a bathrobe so Mad-Eye couldn't eyeball him anymore.

Female-Sirius raised his nose snootily as all three passed by a bewildered Mad-Eye Moody. "We don't want any passerby, snooping in on our plans...or skirts!" Sirius said accusingly and Mad-Eye blushed deep scarlet.

Tonks punched her cousin in the arm. She winked. "Now you know how I felt whenever you eyed me in my skirt!"

Sirius just shrugged. "To be fair though I have better legs than you."

"Oh just shut up, you two!" female-Remus muttered and slapped the two on their backs. "I have a feeling Lucius will be visiting the club this weekend and we need to be there and ready!"

Sirius, arrogantly, rolled his eyes and pushed up his breasts. "Don't worry, Diane, Lucius won't be able to resist me!"

Tonks sighed. She really hoped Sirius was just joking about being this enthusiastic about seducing his cousin's husband...then again he was a Black...and fairly inbred...She just crossed her fingers, none of the girls took it too far!

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Next chapter is dramione and lucius at Malfoy Manor again