After that tear-jerker last episode, we go back in time, to shortly after 'The Dead Thief's Turnabout', where Peach and Rei encounter an unsavory character on the beach...
Shout-out to Men-dont-scream on DeviantArt for inspiring this one!
Author Candidate-James Scott/GX-Nepgear- *hands out handkerchiefs*
Author Heart - Ance Xila Scott- Can you give Unknown another beating for me?
Guest- Being sad/depressed counts, yes...
MrNovaxc/DracoSlayer95- Looks I'll have to call Iris Heart... surely *she'll* make you cry...
ookami486- Sorry to dredge up painful memories...
And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!
The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy
Episode 9
by Derald Snyder
August 23, 11:13 AM
Hirool Beach, Leanbox
The beach was quite lively, with men, women, and children alike having fun, whether by swimming in the water, playing volleyball, or tanning on the warm sand. Clearly people were making the best of summer's last days...
Including two women we are quite familiar with- Peach C. Macintosh and Rei Ryghts. Rei had her hair pulled up in a way that it curled around her horn protrusion, dressed in a blue bikini and wearing a purple hoodie over it. Peach was wearing a plain white T-shirt and black shorts, though she had a yellow bikini underneath.
"I-I hope I d-don't c-cause a p-panic here..." Rei worried.
"Well, that's why I'm here," Peach stated. "To help keep people's minds at ease. Besides, I doubt too many people will even notice you here..."
"I-I hope y-you're right..." the blue-haired lawyer sighed. She then spotted what appeared to be a familiar face, though her back was turned, with light purple hair that was adorned with a tropical flower. "I-isn't that Nepgear?"
"...Huh, it does kinda look like her from the back," Peach pondered. "But what's she doing here, if it is her?"
Rei pondered for a second, before starting towards the woman. "Well, m-might as well say hi..." Approaching cautiously, she tapped the girl on the shoulder. "H-hello Nepgear..."
She didn't respond for a few seconds. "...YOU THOUGHT IT WAS NEPGEAR..." She turned, revealing white circles with black outlines for eyes and a square mouth. "BUT IT WAS ME, NEPGYA!"
"AAAAHHH!" screamed Rei as she leapt into Peach's arms. "It's a trap!"
"Nep...gya?" Peach muttered in confusion. "OK, pardon my french, but what the hell?!" The not-Nepgear was dressed in a t-shirt over what appeared to be a purple-and-white striped bikini, with light purple sandals on her feet.
"I AM AN IMPERFECT CLONE OF THE CPU CANDIDATE OF PLANEPTUNE, CREATED BY AN UNKNOWN PARTY," Nepgya explained. "DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?"
"I have a problem with you scaring poor Rei here out of her wits!" The blonde retorted as she set Rei back on her feet. "I think you owe her an apology... or else I'll give you a hands-on lesson in close-quarters combat!" She cracked her knuckles menacingly.
Nepgya pondered for a moment... "THAT WILL NOT BE NECESSARY. I APOLOGIZE FOR MY FRIGHTENING FACE."
"...Apology accepted," Rei sighed. "Believe me, I get frightened reactions from a lot of people myself..."
"BECAUSE YOU USED TO BE A FINAL BOSS, CORRECT?" Nepgya pointed out.
"Shhh! Ixnay on the upid-stay!" Rei hissed insistently.
"Too late," Peach sighed, watching as several people pointed at Rei and started whispering.
"OOPS. MY BAD," Nepgya stated. "LET US DEPART, THEN. FOLLOW ME." The weird-faced girl gestured for Peashy and Rei to follow as she walked off, the two women reluctantly following her...
Fortunately, no-one had decided to pursue the group, as they arrived in a more secluded area, with a bit more grass and a forest further down.
"PERHAPS THIS PLACE IS SOMEWHAT MORE DESIRABLE TO YOU," intoned Nepgya as they came to a stop. "WE SHOULD NOT BE DISTURBED HERE..."
"Let's hope so," sighed Peach. "The water looks a little murky though..."
"Th-there aren't a-any alligators in here, a-are there?" Rei asked nervously.
"NOPE," replied Nepgya.
"A-are you sure...?"
"A HUNDRED PERCENT," the Nepgear clone gave a thumbs-up.
"O-okay..." Rei nodded as she entered the water to wade around a bit... Peach was also wading around a bit, though she was looking closely at the water in case of any surprises... Looking over at her companion, she saw something moving toward her in the water!
"LOOK OUT, REI!" she shouted.
"EEEEEEEEEK!" the former goddess screamed as a large, reptilian creature with a rounded snout full of sharp teeth lunged at her. Fortunately, she and Peashy managed to scramble back up on shore in time. "Y-you said there weren't any alligators!" she protested to Nepgya.
"THAT'S A CROCODILE," Nepgya clarified. "I DID NOT LIE."
"No, but you *did* mislead us into thinking it was safe to swim here!" Peach said angrily as she marched up to the weird-faced woman. "Looks like you want that lesson after all!"
"I WILL DEFEND MYSELF," Nepgya warned as she pulled a laser sword out of hammerspace.
"Watch out Peach!" Rei squeaked as Nepgya lunged, her sword arm a blur... but nothing happened.
"I think you missed," the blonde deadpanned.
"NO I DIDN'T," Nepgya retorted... as suddenly Peach's t-shirt and shorts were reduced to shreds, revealing her skimpy bikini underneath. "HEY PERVERTS! FREE BOOBIES, RIGHT HERE!"
There was a slight rumbling as a cloud of dust appeared on the horizon...
"BOOBIIIIEEEEESSS!" cried several men in swim trunks, with hearts in their eyes.
"Aw, snap!" cried Peach, grabbing Rei and tucking her under her arm. "RUN AWAY!"
"AFTER HER!" declared Nepgya as the blonde ran for her life. (Well, more like her virginity, but you get the idea...)
"Where are we going?!" Rei cried as she was carried along by Peach.
"Away from them!" her companion answered, sand being kicked up by her feet as she continued to run... Despite the large crowd, she was doing a pretty good job at keeping ahead of them...
At least, until the sand gave way beneath her, dropping both girls into beach quicksand.
"Quicksand?!" cried Rei, her hands and legs already buried due to being dropped by Peach. "No fair!"
"Dammit, NO!" Peach screamed as she pumped her legs and twisted her hips...
"Don't thrash around like that!" Rei warned. "You'll only make it worse...!" Sadly, said advice went unheeded, the blonde's struggles eventually causing them both to become hopelessly stuck in the classic damsel-in-distress pose, sunk breast-deep with their arms sunk in past the elbows, firmly stuck at their sides.
"Ewwww...!" Peach grunted in disgust at feeling the wet sand slime over her submerged body... looking down, she blushed red as she realized her D+ sized breasts were being pushed up slightly by the quicksand. "Could this get any worse?!"
"Could it get any better?!" several male voices answered. Peach looked up and saw to her horror that the entire quicksand pit was surround by the perverts, several of them drooling with hearts in their eyes. Nepgya stood across from the duo, her face unchanged, though Peach got the sinking feeling (no pun intended) that everything had gone according to the clone's plan...
"THE WAY I SEE IT, YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES," Nepgya stated. "EITHER THE PERVERTS PULL YOU OUT AND HAVE THEIR WAY WITH YOU, OR YOU DISAPPEAR BENEATH THE QUICKSAND AND BECOME FERTILIZER."
"HELL no!" the blonde protested. "I'm already promised to someone, thank you very much!"
"BUT AT LEAST YOU WILL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY," Nepgya pointed out. "YOU'RE A LAWYER, REI, MAKE HER SEE REASON..."
Rei didn't respond immediately, looking down for a second... before emitting a slow, sinister chuckle. "Or maybe I'll do what I do best and turnabout this situation..."
"HOW, EXACTLY?" the clone taunted. "YOU'RE JUST AS STUCK AS SHE IS, AND YOU NO LONGER POSSESS THE POWER YOU ONCE HAD AS A FINAL BOSS..."
"OBJECTION!" Rei suddenly declared. "Yes, I lost my goddess power... but thanks to successfully defending several clients... I GOT IT BACK."
With that, the quicksand parted as a pillar of light erupted, temporarily blinding Nepgya and the perverts... When the light faded, Chaos Heart floated above them, holding an incredulous Peach with one hand.
"Haaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Rei laughed evilly. "*Now* do you see, Nepgya?! You and your army of perverts are nothing but a bunch of worms and maggots... to be put six feet under!" With that, she unleashed a red ball of energy which impacted at the edge of the quicksand pit, not actually striking anyone, but the shockwave alone was enough to send several bodies flying.
"HOLY SHIT! She's serious!" cried one of the perverts. "RUN AWAAAAAYY!" The army of males broke up and scattered in panic, as Rei fired several more blasts, sending perverts flying everywhere.
"Stop it!" cried Peach. "You're killing them!"
"Idiot, if I *wanted* them dead, they'd ALL be ashes now!" Chaos Heart retorted. "I'm just putting the fear of GOD into them! Hahahahaha!"
"How 'bout we focus on the ringleader?!" Peach suggested, pointing at the fleeing Nepgya.
"Ooooh, good idea! Time for that bitch to get her comeuppance!" With that, Rei took off at high speed, Peach screaming as she flailed in the wind despite the goddess' grip...
"HOW DID I MISCALCULATE SO BADLY?!" cried Nepgya as she ran, tears at the corners of her eyes. "I THOUGHT MY PLAN WAS PERFECT!" She was then forced to stop as Chaos Heart literally dropped in front of her.
"And just where do you think *you're* going, maggot?" Rei said with a psychotic smirk. Nepgya quickly turned around, only to collide with Peach, who just grinned and cracked her knuckles.
"DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER," the clone intoned, sweating profusely. "I'M GOING DOWN, AREN'T I?"
"Nope!" Peashy disagreed. "You're going *up*!" With that, she slammed Nepgya with a double-fisted uppercut that sent her high into the sky...
Where Rei was waiting for her. "Now you're going down, bitch!" she cackled as she attacked with a brutal axe kick that sent Nepgya plummeting back down to Peach...
"And now you're going sideways!" the blonde declared as she hit Nepgya with a roundhouse kick that sent her flying over the horizon...
Rei easily caught up to Nepgya, getting in front before hitting the clone with a flip-kick that again sent her into the sky...
Peach then jumped up high, readying both fists as Nepgya approached...
*POW!*
"NEPGYYYYAAAAAAA!" the clone screamed as she streaked down to the ground, a plume of sand erupting as she ended up over half-way buried in the beach, her legs sticking up comically.
Peach made a three-point landing, before standing up and dusting off her hands. "Game over, troll," she stated as Chaos Heart flew up.
"Nice work, Macintosh," the CPU chuckled. "I was intending for her to become a twinkle in the sky... didn't know you could jump that high."
"You didn't ask," Peach shrugged. "Anyway, now that we've dropped Nepgya like a bad habit... could you please go back to normal? That smirk of yours is really making me uncomfortable..."
"Pffft... fine," Rei sighed as her transformation reverted, once again wearing glasses, bikini, and hoodie. "C-can't say I b-blame you, I kinda s-scare myself sometimes..."
"I believe it," Peach nodded. "So now what?"
"Well, now that the peanut gallery's gone..." Rei unzipped her hoodie and threw it off. "Let's go swimming!"
"OK!" the busty blonde grinned. "Race you to the water!" She took off in a sprint.
"Hey, n-no fair!" Rei protested. "I c-can't run th-that fast...!"
But while the two ladies were splashing and having fun, a sign emerged from the sand next to the prone Nepgya, bearing three words:
"I'LL BE BACK."
*Episode 9- End*
Man, I had fun writing this one... as always, leave a review!
