Chapter 9


Everything doesn't end happily. Everything doesn't end satisfying. I had a feeling that my time with Harry Potter was going to end in a disaster. I was standing next to the bed were he slept, watching him draw even breaths. Edward was standing next to me, his eyes a bit narrowed, but apart from that he had a calm expression on his face. His hand rested on my shoulder, gripping it slightly, as if he was afraid that I would run away.

"I can't do this", I whispered, feeling uneasy.

Edward caressed my shoulder, leaning in to kiss my head. "You know you can. You kissed him without killing him, didn't you?"

I suddenly got the feeling of that Edward wanted to test me, in more than the way I thought, although I couldn't figure out how.

"But this is something entirely different."

"It's your call, I won't make you. But I will ask him to leave the first thing tomorrow and this is your only chance of saying goodbye."

I sighed, knowing he was right. I was just going to give Edward my decision when the bedroom door opened and Alice stepped inside, her eyes on fire.

"Don't do this Bella", she said fiercely. "You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. I had a vision. And… it was sick. Bella , I'm begging you, don't go through with this." She turned towards her brother. "You are one sick person, you know that?"

Edward grinned a wicked smile. "I'm only doing this for Bella. If she can manage this I am willing to let her be among humans."

"This is not the best way to prove that – "

" – it's not you decision to make – "

" – come on Edward, don't you realize how sick this is?"

"I will do it."

They both turned their heads and looked at me. Perhaps Alice saw the determination in my eyes, because she didn't try to make me change my mind.

"Fine. But just so you know, if I hear anything that sounds like you're out of control I will get Emmet and we'll blow up this door and drag you away from here."

She walked away from the room without waiting for me to respond, and I could sense her anger in the way her shoulders were drawn up high and her back stiff. I felt sorry for Alice, but at the same time I wanted to do this, wanted to show Edward I was strong enough to leave. He had talked about an Island, a private one that perhaps only the Cullen's knew of, a place where he wanted to take me. There seemed like there couldn't be a better time to go than now.

I met Edward's eyes and he gave me an encouraging smile. I turned my attention to the sleeping creature in the bed. He hadn't so much as winced during the time we'd been in there; we had been speaking too low for his human ears to hear. I slowly pulled down the comforter and his body was exposed, a blue pajamas covering his skin. I let my hand touch his chin. It was hot underneath my palm and I could feel his blood pulsating in his veins. For a moment I wanted to crush my lips against his, but decided against it. I love Edward, I said to myself, that's why I'm doing this. So that we can go away and be together forever.

My hands fingered on the buttons of his pajama shirt, slowly rebutting them one after one. His chest was marvelous, and as soon as I had gotten his jacket open I stroked my hands over his chest.

Edward made a noise behind me, and I quickly removed my hands. It struck me how hard this must be for him, seeing his girlfriend touch another guy. I swallowed as I tugged on Harry's pants, urging them down. He was wearing striped boxers underneath and squirmed a little in his sleep when I stroked his thighs.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked softly.

"I'm fine", I whispered

Even though Harry's warm blood made my mouth water I felt that I could handle this. I let my hands slip underneath the waist of his boxers and gently pulled them down. As his naked body was exposed I suddenly felt a bit uneasy. Maybe I could resist biting him, but would I dare to touch him with Edward in the same room?

"Help me", I begged Edward, not really knowing what I wanted him to do.

"I've never touched another guy", he answered stiffly. "You've been with me plenty of times, you should know what to do."

"But this is not you", I insisted. "And he's sleeping. I've never pleasured a sleeping man before. I haven't pleasured any other man before. This was all your idea."

"What are you saying Bella? That I should blow him?"

An image of Edward leaning down over Harry and taking him in his mouth crossed my mind, and I quickly erased the picture. "Of course not. I just… don't know if this was such a good idea."

"I thought you wanted to be with him."

"I had a desire for him. For his blood."

"But instead of biting him, you kissed him."

I whirled around, standing beside Edward in just a blink of an eye for any human.

"What?" he said innocently.

"You know that I wouldn't be able to go through with this." I looked at him, suddenly everything fell to place. "You wouldn't ever let me have sex with another man, but you proposed this idea only because you knew that I was too much of a coward to go make this deed. You knew that I only desired his blood and once I managed to resist biting him I wouldn't feel any affection, no romantic feelings I mean, for him."

Edward's beautiful eyes smiled, and he took my cheeks in his palms. "I know you better that you do yourself Bella. I wanted you to find out this on your own, wanting you to understand the difference between love and desire. When I first met you I wanted to rip you into pieces and drain your blood. But I resisted, and my love for you remained. You resisted this wizard, and now you don't feel any love. It's as simple as that."

I looked into Edward's eyes, feeling that I wanted to cry. I hugged him tightly and the kiss that followed was intense.

"I can't believe all this that have happened", I said when we finally drew apart. "We met a witch and wizard, we both cheated on each other, you accidentally killed a girl and I thought you didn't love me anymore. It's too much to handle."

"I know", he nuzzled in my hair. "Vampires and magical humans aren't the best combination."

We watched the sleeping Harry, and I pulled the comforter over his body, not wanting to see him naked.

"I feel sorry for him though – that he must go back to England without solving the mystery around his God son and that his wife is dead. She probably has some family who'll be really sad", I said.

"Yes, but I think he will manage. He seems to be a tough guy."

Edward and I kissed again and I sighed happily against his chin.

"Could we still go away?" I whispered.

"Well… there is this Island that I really want to show you. It's the most beautiful place in the world. We'll be all alone there, so I wouldn't need to worry about you wanting to eat any humans. It is just the journey to get there that worries me. You can still be tempted."

"Where is it?"

"Just off the coast of Rio."

"We'll take your car and drive, then. We'll only stop in the middle of the night, in woods, far away from people. We'll be careful, and I promise you I will do my best not to eat anyone." I smiled teasingly as I said the last sentence, knowing that Edward would protect me from attacking any humans."

"You know how long time it will take to drive to Brazil?" Edward said and frowned.

"Well, if there's one thing we got, it's time. It's not like we'll grow old on the way. If we pack now, we can be on our way before dawn."

"Yes", Edward said, and kissed me. "Let's do it. Come on, we'll tell Carlisle and the others first."

He led me out of the room to the room and I happily followed him. Before the door closed behind us, I looked at the sleeping Harry. What would he do when he woke up and found us gone? Would he go back to England and just continue living his life. Would he mourn for his wife in all his life?

"Edward, wait", I said and made him stop. "Don't you think that we might… um, spare… Harry a life of misery? How will he cope with his life? We don't have to, you know, drink…"

Edward frowned. "Are you saying that we should kill the person that's lying in that room?"

"Yes. I think it will be for his own best."