Author's Note: Hello everyone! Sorry for the huge gap between updates! But, geez, can college be busy. Anyway, I'm on summer break now, so fingers crossed for faster updates! Thanks so much for sticking with me and this story! Enjoy!


"Is this the place? It's very nice, Corporal Beilschmidt."

"Ja, danke, this is it."

Home. I never thought I would see this place again.

Yet, Ludwig was fidgety with anxiety. He fiddled with a hangnail on his thumb while his companion, a soldier assigned to accompany Ludwig home, ascended the steps to Ludwig's porch and rapped smartly on the door.

What if Anna doesn't even want me? All I am is a burden now.

The soldier glanced back quickly. "You said your wife is here? Maybe she can help me get you inside."

Help you get me inside? Gott, I'm useless.

Several minutes passed. The soldier knocked again. Ludwig felt nauseous.

What if she saw me through the window and decided she doesn't want me to live with her anymore?

The soldier on the porch turned and said affably, "Perhaps the missus is out."

Something about the man's cheerfulness reminded Ludwig, with a pang, of Feliciano. I never even saw him again after I yelled at him. I never apologized. I wonder if he knows what happened to me?

"I'll try knocking one more time."

Finally, this time, Anna answered. Ludwig couldn't breathe as the door opened, and Anna appeared, with dark circles beneath her eyes and her hair hanging loosely around her shoulders, carrying a screaming infant.

Mein Gott, she was right, she was right. I should never have left. Look at her.

When she saw the soldier on the door, her eyes widened. "He's dead, isn't he?" she stated flatly.

"No, Frau Beilschmidt, he's right here!" The soldier stepped aside and gestured to Ludwig, sitting in his wheelchair at the bottom of the steps. Ludwig stared at his lap, suddenly unable to look his wife in the eyes.

The child was still screaming. And I don't even know his name.

"L-Ludwig?"


Anna stood transfixed on her doorstep. He's home. And in a wheelchair? What happened to him?

She looked him over. Neither of his legs showed any evidence of being injured. No casts, no splints. I don't understand.

"L-Ludwig?"

He didn't look up from his lap. Is he deaf too? How can I ever have him watch Klaus if he can't hear?! Though maybe he's the lucky one, she added as Klaus's incessant wails once again shattered her focus. Combined with utter exhaustion and a pounding headache, Anna was surprised she was able to string two words together.

"Ludwig? What happened?"

"A building collapsed."

"…So… Are you okay?"

He shot her a dirty look. "I'm stuck in this chair for the rest of my life. Does that sound okay to you?"

What a bastard.

Anna knew she should feel pity or compassion or something, but she was too tired to deal with this. Why does everything have to happen at once? Klaus has been colicky for two days straight, and now I have to take care of Ludwig. I guess? Can he do anything?

"Listen, Ludwig, I'm going to call my father. He'll help get you up the steps."

The soldier, clearly trying to ease the tension he sensed, cheerfully volunteered to help in any way he could.

Anna gave him directions to her parents' shop, then stood in the doorway, unsure of how to proceed. She bounced Klaus a bit and patted his back, trying to sooth him. She soon felt the all-too-familiar sensation of warm baby vomit oozing down her shoulder.

"Ludwig, Klaus just got sick, so I'm going to go in and clean up, alright?"

Ludwig grunted in response, not meeting her eyes.

What on earth is wrong with him?


Ludwig didn't look up until he heard the front door close. Then he briefly took in the empty porch, glanced over his shoulder to see if Anna's father and the soldier were approaching, then stared into his lap again.

She hates me. I can't believe it. All the shit I've gone through, and this is how I'm welcomed home. Abandoned in my own front yard, like trash. He felt sick, and all he wanted to do was lie down.

Shit, the bedroom is upstairs!

He sighed. Couch, it is, then. If I can ever get in the house.

An eternity seemed to slip by. Ludwig blew onto his gloved hands, trying to warm up. It's not like it's January or anything! How long am I going to be out here?

\At last, the soldier returned with Anna's father, who clapped Ludwig jovially on the shoulder.

"Guten Tag, good to see you! And I'm sure Anna is happy to have you home! She's been worried sick!"

Really? Didn't seem like it.

Ludwig's cheeks burned with shame as the two men hoisted him up, gripping the frame of the wheelchair and carried him onto the porch. Anna's father opened the door to an empty living room. He looked confused.

"Where is Anna, by the way?"

"She said the baby… Klaus… got sick, so she had to bring him inside."

"Ah, okay. She's probably trying to get him into bed. A lot of times he quiets down a bit after he's been sick. He's got colic, you see."

Ludwig stared blankly. I don't even know what that is.

"Touch of the stomach flu, that is," he clarified.

The soldier cleared his throat. "Well, if you're all settled in-"

"Yes, thank you, you can go."

The soldier saluted. "Thank you for your service, herr."

Once he had left, Anna's father sat on the couch and said amiably, "So when do you move on to crutches?"

"Never."

He paled, in stark contrast to his black hair and moustache. "Ah, I-I see. My apologies."

A moment of painful silence followed.

At last, Anna came down the stairs.


Anna came down the stairs to see her father sitting on the couch, his hands clasped between his knees, looking distinctly uncomfortable, and Ludwig glaring sourly at the floor.

"Guten Tag, Vater. Thanks for helping to bring him in."

She saw Ludwig grimace. If he's anything like he used to be, then this is massively embarrassing for him.

"Oh, no problem! We're just all glad to have him home!" He smiled in Ludwig's direction, but Ludwig didn't look at him.

Rude. He better be ready to explain himself.

"Erm, anyway, I already have some ideas for changing a few things to make things more, uh, accessible for Ludwig."

"I'm in the room, you know," Ludwig growled. "You don't have to talk about me like I'm not here."

The shred of patience Anna had left snapped. "Shut up, Ludwig! He's trying to help us! Please, do continue, Vater, I'm sure you have some lovely ideas."

Ludwig stared daggers at her, but she ignored him, pretending to be intensely interested in what her father had to say.

Her father glanced from Ludwig to Anna, looking more awkward than she had ever seen him. Addressing Ludwig this time, he continued, "Well, Ludwig, I was thinking of converting the front steps into a ramp, make things much easier, you know, a lot more independence for you."

Ludwig face turned blood red, and he seemed like he was about to protest. Anna cut him off.

"Wonderful idea, Vater, I would never have thought of that."

"Well, I had a buddy from my army days who had to get his leg amputated, so I remember a few of the changes made to his home. Not sure I'll be able to do anything about the second floor though, Ludwig. My army friend lived in a one-floor place, so-"

"It's fine." Ludwig interrupted shortly.

Anna took a deep breath. "Vater, I think you better go. I don't want to keep you."

Her father leapt to his feet. "Ja, well, I really should be getting back to the store, you're right."

Anna knew that was a weak excuse. Wartime rationing had taken a toll on business.

He nodded to them both at the door. "Well, I'll be seeing you soon."

After he left, a wave of exhaustion hit her so strongly that she felt like she was about to faint. I don't want to deal with any of this! I finally got Klaus to be quiet; I just want to sleep.

"I'm going to take a nap, Ludwig. We'll talk later."

Ludwig looked up at her, shocked. "That's it?"

"What do you want from me?! I've been on the round-the-clock baby duty. He's finally asleep. I haven't had a good night's rest since he was born practically. Not that you would know!"

She turned on her heel and marched up the steps, almost in tears. God, I'm so tired, I'm so tired! Maybe he's right, but I just can't bear to deal with anything else right now.

She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.


Ludwig stared, dumbfounded, as Anna disappeared up the stairs.

She did seem exhausted.

He sighed. He knew it would be pointless to struggle his way onto the sofa right now; there was no way he would even doze off. He felt tight and wary now that he felt alone in the silent house. It seemed like a scene from one of his nightmares, one where a Russian jumps out at the last second, firing his gun before Ludwig has a chance to react…

Ludwig shook himself out of the reverie, realizing that he was gripping the arms of his wheelchair so tightly that his hands ached. He let go and forced his muscles to relax, as much as they could. He wheeled into the bathroom to get a nail clipper for the hangnail that was still bothering him.

He groaned in frustration when he realized that he couldn't reach the medicine cabinet on his own. Why is everything a struggle?

He moved on to the kitchen and looked around. Almost everything seemed the same, except for the highchair at the table. Yet, Ludwig felt that he was in someone else's house. He heard scratching at the back door and instinctively reached for his gun, only to realize that it wasn't there. He cautiously made his way to the door but then gladly flung open the door when he heard a characteristically canine whimper.

His three dogs hurled themselves at him, tails wagging so hard that their entire bodies wiggled, falling over themselves to jump on his lap and lick his face. Ludwig tried to pet all of them at once, almost ready to cry in happiness at their reception of their wounded master, though he was unnerved by the fact that he couldn't feel their claws as they dug into his thighs.

Gradually, he was able to make his way into the living room again where the dogs settled around him. Berlitz and Blackie laid down at his feet while Aster, amusingly, sat on Ludwig's lap.

"You're the first German shepherd to make yourself a lap dog," he murmured, hugging her close to him, his face buried in her fur.

Despite the comfort he got from his animal companions, worries soon beset his mind.

Anna was so short with me. Was she just tired? Is that why she never, ever wrote to me? Too busy? I was pretty busy, and I made time to write to her. And she was always better with words anyway, and she has her family and Myriam to babysit. Gott, I can just imagine how much any of them would love to spend a day with the baby. I, meanwhile, was always responsible for both me and Italy.

But now that I'm home, I need to work. The police station said I would be able to work there when I came back, but that was before I was a damn cripple. But surely I can do office work? Maybe they'll pay me to do administration.

Ludwig tensed when he heard a high pitched cry. The baby… Anna will hear him, right?

All the dogs started howling, Aster jumping down to stand with the other two. Okay, she'll definitely hear something.

He smiled at the dogs. "Helping take care of him, are you? I knew I could depend on you."

"SHUT UP, YOU DAMNED BEASTS!"

Ludwig scowled as he heard Anna's screech. Soon, she came downstairs, a quiet infant in tow.

"You shouldn't talk to my dogs like that. They were just making sure you woke up."

Anna looked at him strangely. "Uh, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way… How about you hold Klaus while I start dinner? Lucky you, he's feeling better now and isn't so weepy, now is he?"

She addressed the last part to Klaus. Ludwig, however, felt frozen, staring at the little creature in Anna's arms.

I-I would break him. I can't be responsible for that little thing.

Flashes of brutality committed by his hands flashed through his mind. Bones broken, blood spattered, dead bodies…

Anna stared quizzically as she held Klaus out to Ludwig. "Aren't you going to take him?"

I can't!

Ludwig tried hard not to tremble. "I- Well, I…. Isn't that your responsibility?"

Verdammit, couldn't I have said anything else?

Anna's mouth hung open. "Did- did you really just say that? Mein Gott, you really don't care about us anymore, you son of a bitch! I would throw you out if it weren't so much trouble to bring you back in again!"

Ludwig gasped. "What the hell, Anna?"

I did feel bad, but not anymore! What a heartless thing to say!

Anna's eyes blazed with fury. "You can make your own dinner. I'm going to my parent's house, which I'm pretty used to, since I've been so lonely FOR A YEAR!"

That made Ludwig pause. It has been a year, hasn't it?

She stormed past him and slammed the door on her way out.

Ludwig watched the door, his lips starting to tremble. I probably look like Italy. Stop it.

He bit his lip until he tasted blood, hands clenched into fists. Stop it, stop it, stop it! Stop feeling so much! Emotions are bad on the frontlines, and apparently Anna and I are at war.


Anna burst into her childhood home, clutching Klaus to her body. In her anger, she had forgotten to bundle him up for the cold evening. Her parents and grandmother leapt to their feet at her sudden arrival.

"Is something wrong?" her father asked, his face dark with concern.

"YES! I HATE LUDWIG!"

Klaus started wailing.

Her mother bustled over and gently took the frightened boy in her arms. "Again? What happened?"

"He doesn't want anything to do with his son. I've waited an entire year for him to come home and be involved in our child's life, and he tells me that 'that's my responsibility.'" He refused to even hold him."

Her voice cracked with emotion, and she collapsed on the couch next to her grandmother, her elbows on her knees. "I waited all this time for him, and he's being awful."

"Well, Anna," her father spoke up. "I don't think he's had an easy time of it either."

"Yes!" her grandmother exclaimed. "I couldn't believe it when your father told me about him being in a wheelchair forever. What happened to him?"

"A building collapsed on him," she muttered, suddenly realizing the magnitude of that statement. It's a wonder he survived.

She bit the inside of her lip as memories of her side of the conversation flooded her mind. Alright, I wasn't perfect either, but that's no excuse for how he treated Klaus.

Her grandmother patted her shoulder. "You have to be patient with men. You can't expect them to know what you want."

"Hey!" Her father playfully protested as he brought in a tray of the weak coffee rationed to them.

"You've been well-trained, dear," Anna's Oma quipped, and Anna's family all chuckled. She felt her stress fading away and even managed a smile.

Her father pushed a warm mug into her hands. "Have a drink, calm down, then go and talk to your husband."

As Anna and Klaus were about to leave, her mother left her with a piece of advice, given in her characteristically quiet way.

"Be careful of Ludwig's pride. He feels like half the man he used to be."

How does Mütter know stuff like that? She hasn't even seen him.

But Anna knew her mother only spoke when she thought it was very important, and her statement rang in Anna's ears all the way home.

But when she got home, the house was dark and Ludwig was lying on the couch with his back to her.

"Ludwig?" The dogs gave her a loud enough welcome that she knew he couldn't be asleep.

"Ludwig?!" Her voice rose sharply as she tried to be heard over the dogs.

No answer.

She sighed." I decided not to eat at my parents' house. I'm going to make dinner. Are you hungry?"

She noticed that he looked thinner than when he left, even when not facing her.

"Ludwig, are you ignoring me?"

No answer.

She snorted. "Well, I'm going to make a plate for you anyway. You can eat it whenever."

I was going to apologize, but not if he's going to be such a child.


Ludwig had not even dozed when the dogs leapt away from him and starting barking excitedly.

Anna must be back…. And Klaus. Right, I have to get used to that.

"Ludwig?" He heard her voice raise shrilly over the panting of the dogs.

He sighed inwardly. Maybe I should pretend to be asleep.

"Ludwig? I decided not to eat at my parent's house. I'm going to make dinner. Are you hungry?"

He hoped his stomach growling didn't give him away. I'm not sure how easy it will be to get off the couch. I don't want her to see me. It had not been a graceful maneuver to get himself out of his chair and onto the sofa in the first place.

"Well, I'm going to make a plate for you anyway. You can eat it whenever."

She sounded irritated.

I don't feel like dealing with her bad mood. I'll eat when she goes upstairs.

He ate dinner alone at the table, with his dogs at his feet. Like before I was married.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

After he ate and put his dishes in the sink (he frustratingly couldn't reach to actually wash it himself), he struggled onto the couch for the second time that night and slipped into an uneasy sleep.

Anna was up in the middle of the night when Klaus cried to be fed. Normally she would take him into the living room, but tonight she hesitated.

Dammit, if I can be awake at this hour, so can he.

She slipped quietly down the stairs, with Klaus only making small noises of impatience. She turned the lamp on, settled in the armchair, and offered her breast to the hungry baby. He quickly fell into a contented quiet as he fed.

She looked over to Ludwig's sleeping form. If he's actually sleeping this time.

His breathing was slow and even, and his dogs were arranged around him. She noticed that he was holding little Blackie to his chest, and she felt her heart soften.

She brought a blanket down and covered her husband after she had put Klaus to bed. She watched him for a moment, listening to the quiet throughout the house. With a sigh, she went back upstairs to sleep alone.