PLEASE READ FIRST!
This work does NOT belong to me, but I think it deserves a wider audience than it had up to now. Since the author wishes to stay anonymous she has given permission to publish it somewhere else other than on livejournal as she has no intention to. I will leave a link on livejournal to this post for the author, so make sure to review.
Original can be found here:
story: "http"":""/""/""norsekink"".""livejournal"".""com""/""10823"".""html""?""page""=""25""#""comments" (remove all " and scroll down a bit)
chapter: "http"":""/""/""norsekink"".""livejournal"".""com""/""10823"".""html""?""thread""=""23499079#t23499079" (remove all " and scroll down a bit)
WARNING this work contains mental und physical non-con, massive internal conflict, PTSD. You have been warned!
Chapter Nine
That morning Loki woke up feeling exhausted. He grumbled as Laufey led him to the brushing room and picked at his breakfast.
"What is the matter with you?" Laufey said as he stroked Loki's back gently.
"I'm not hungry." Loki said.
Laufey frowned.
"And why not?"
"I'm too tired." Loki said, rubbing his eyes.
Laufey pulled Loki back until his head rested against Laufey's chest. Loki just slumped against him, his eyes were closed. Laufey laid a hand over Loki's brow.
"You're a little warm" He said.
He gathered Loki up and moved him to the bed.
"I'll send the healer to see you." He said, wrapping Loki up. "I think you have caught an illness, hopefully you just need a few days in bed."
Loki nodded wearily and closed his eyes.
He was asleep when the healer arrived. The feel of a hand on his brow woke him from his doze.
Loki was slowly learning to identify the different Jotun professions by their clothing. The healers all wore a strip of fur across their shoulders with a leaf-pattern fastening pin. This healer had an extra fastening on his strip.
He smiled kindly down at Loki.
"I am Puluk, the head healer. The king sent me to see you, your Majesty." He said. "He said you were feeling unwell."
Loki groaned and didn't say anything. The healer unwrapped him and laid one hand on his head and the other on his belly. Loki felt a slight tingling sensation as the healer's magic touched him. The healer sighed softly, almost as if he was disappointed by something.
"You have a mild sickness, you Majesty. You need to rest. Your throat will start to hurt and your nose will fill with fluid. I will bring you a draught to help reduce the build up of fluid and the kitchens will make you some soothing drinks. Other than that you just need to rest."
He paused for a moment, taking in Loki's lethargic state.
"Is there anything else I can help you with, you Majesty?"
Loki looked up at him, confused.
"You are otherwise quite well?" Puluk asked carefully.
When Loki said nothing, Puluk tried again.
"The last time I saw you, your Majesty you were, ah, quite sore? Bruised? Are you well now?"
Loki frowned and turned his head away.
"I'm fine." He snapped. "I'm physically fine and that's all anyone cares about anyway."
Puluk frowned in confusion.
"The king isn't hurting you?" He asked tentatively.
Loki looked up at him, anger clouding his features. He struggled to sit up with his aching limbs.
"I hate him! I wish he'd drop dead where he stands! I hate you! I hate that no one here seems to care that I Don't. Want. This! I want to go home! I want to leave and never come back! I want my family and I *don't* want Laufey!"
He was almost hysterical, tears were streaking his cheeks and his face was flushed. His breath was coming in gasps. Puluk pulled back from the bed, he looked bewildered.
"I think your Majesty is very tired." He said, backing away. "I will go and fetch that draught."
He turned and found himself face to face with Thrym, who was holding today's book.
"One word," Thrym said, his voice low and threatening. "One word about this to anyone and you will find your head on a spike."
Puluk nodded, his eyes wide. He fled the room as Thrym walked over to where Loki had slumped in exhaustion.
Thrym sat down on the edge of the bed, reached over and pulled the furs back around Loki's body.
"Does the royal family of Asgard speak its business to the lower classes?" Thrym chided as he tucked the last fur in place.
"I hate him." Loki mumbled.
"Does he hurt you?" Thrym asked gently.
Loki pulled a face.
"Is that all anyone cares about?" He asked.
Thrym looked at him, concerned.
"Why don't you tell me what bothers you and I will try to understand." He said.
"You will?" Loki asked. He sounded so vulnerable.
Thrym nodded.
"I don't want him touching me." Loki said softly. "He doesn't listen when I say I don't want to."
"Why don't you want to?" Thrym asked.
Loki's eyes narrowed.
"I'm trying to understand Loki, talk to me." Thrym said firmly.
Loki sighed.
"He's forcing me. That's why I don't want to. Wouldn't you object to being forced to mate with someone? He holds me down every night. I fight him, I beg him, he won't stop." He was crying again, he sniffed as his nose began to run.
Thrym was still looking confused.
"You are married to him." He said quietly. "You're duty is to mate, it is suppose to be a pleasure."
"It's not." Loki said shortly. "I hate it."
"The more observant of the court have seen your reluctance. They think he is hurting you, they are beginning to become concerned."
Loki pulled a face.
"It doesn't hurt physically, but I hate it. I hate the way my body reacts to it. I don't want to have a baby, I'm scared."
Those last words were barely even a whisper. Loki looked up at Thrym with wide, sad eyes.
"I want to go home." He said.
Thrym shifted uncomfortably.
"You're going to tell me I am home, aren't you?" Loki said sadly.
Thrym looked compassionately at him.
"You have no idea how precious you are." He said. "We can live without the casket, we've spent the last thousand years rebuilding Jotunheim by hand. We have faced many hardships and overcome them. But all that will be wasted without you. Without an heir, Laufey's death will mean civil war. The realm will be torn apart."
"Can't he have an heir with someone else?" Loki asked.
"Only another ice maiden, any other child would have no claim. Any of Laufey's siblings could make a claim and there are many who would, but the ones most likely to are power hungry and they will not yield until all the others lie dead. They will fight, and thousands will die."
Loki sniffed again, his nose was filling with fluid.
"Are there any other ice maidens?" He asked.
Thrym shook his head.
"Laufey waited five thousand years for you to be born. There may be another one born in his lifetime but there is no guarantee. The whole of Jotunheim mourned for you when they thought you had been killed."
"He's not going to stop is he?" Loki said. "It doesn't matter what I want, he won't stop."
"You should have been married centuries ago, when you came of age. We would have held a great ceremony and feasted for days. You would have grown up in the castle and known all your life that your place was by Laufey's side. You would have known him, and hopefully loved him."
"I can't love him." Loki said. "I can't."
Thrym reached out and stroked Loki's brow.
"Perhaps you can learn to live with him?" Thrym said. "He is not a bad man, truly."
The arrival of Puluk prevented him from saying more. The healer looked nervous.
"I have brought the draught." He said. "Your Majesty must drink a mouthful at meal times."
He handed it to Thrym with a shaking hand. Thrym gave him a warning glare and unstoppered the bottle. Puluk fled the room. Thrym held the bottle to Loki's lips. Loki swallowed a mouthful and sniffed again. His throat hurt.
Thrym put the bottle on the table beside the bed and regarded Loki thoughtfully.
"You should rest." He said.
"Read to me?" Loki asked, his eyes pleading.
Thrym relented and picked up the book.
He was on the third page when he looked across and saw that Loki had fallen asleep.
###
Loki spent the next two days in bed. On the first day he slept, on the second he was awake, but stayed resting. He didn't take well to boredom, so Thrym resumed their reading lessons.
He walked into the royal chambers with two books under one arm and an empty casket in the other.
Loki looked at him, puzzled.
Thrym winked at him and tucked the empty casket under the table in exactly the right place for Laufey to hit it with his feet.
"Let's start with the reading." He said.
They sat on the bed with their backs against the pillows. Loki ran his finger across the page.
"See…Mika…run. Run…Mika…run. Hide…Mika…hide…or the…Tr…Trolls…will…eat…your…brains."
"Good."
Loki turned to Thrym.
"Are you certain this book is for children?"
"Oh yes, do not underestimate the danger of the trolls. The children need to know as early as possible."
"There are real trolls on Jotunheim?"
"Yes, they have been here for thousands of years. They attack every few years or so. Laufey once lead an expedition to wipe them out, but some survived up in the high mountains."
Thrym took the book from Loki's hands and tucked it away.
"I'm not sure if you are interested, but I thought you'd like to know more about your Jotun form."
He picked up the other book and rested it on Loki's lap. It contained diagrams of the Jotun body. One page had the skeleton, another the nervous system, another the muscles. Loki reflected that the Asgard would pay highly for this information and here it was just sitting in front of him.
They worked their way through the book with Thrym providing explanations on every page. It was fascinating the way the Jotun body could survive conditions that would freeze most species and yet still survive quite well in warmer environments for extended periods of time.
Loki turned the page and saw a new diagram. It took him a minute to piece together.
"That's the reproductive system, isn't it?" He said.
"Yes."
"The passageway is looped?"
"Yes, it's a channel of muscle that rises through the organs, your mate spends his seed at the top near where it bends over to the front. It then travels down into the womb. Do you see the ovary sac in between them? The stimulation from your mate causes the muscles there to contract, which forces the seed sac here to empty into the womb. If you have a fertile seed in there it will bond with your mate's seed and create your child."
Thrym turned the page to show a picture of a pregnant Jotun, it's belly protruding outward. The baby Jotun was drawn inside. Loki frowned at the image.
"That's a big baby." He said doubtfully.
Thrym reached over and turned the page. Loki leaned forward with interest. It was a diagram of an ice maiden. It was just like the other Jotun bodies inside but smaller. The only thing that was just as big was the reproductive system. Everything else was fitted around it. Loki scanned it carefully, taking it in. This was him, this existed inside of him.
Thrym carefully turned the page. Loki's eyes widened. The drawing was of a heavily pregnant ice maiden.
"That baby is too big for that body. How do you even stand up?"
"With great difficulty." Thrym said. "You'll feel the urge to nest before you get that big. You won't want to move far until the baby is born."
"How do Jotuns give birth?" Loki asked. "It can't make its way back up the loop."
"No, the passageway doesn't stretch that wide anyway. Didn't you ever wonder what that was for?" Thrym pointed at Loki's navel.
Loki looked down and back up again.
"It connects the mothers-life to the baby, the mothers-life is tied and cut after the baby takes its first breath."
Thrym shook his head.
"That may be for the Asgard, but that's the Jotun birth canal. It's a strong ring of muscle and nerves. It's the most pleasurable experience when the baby passes through."
Loki looked at him disbelievingly.
"Giving birth is painful, the Asgard have five different potions to give to the mother to help ease it."
"What kind of a species delivers a child in pain?" Thrym said. The look on his face made Loki want to laugh. "It is wonderful. Goupr and I are both hoping to be the one to carry our third."
Loki looked down at the diagram. His finger delicately traced the line of the passageway from entrance to womb before pausing over the birth canal.
"How many am I expected to have?" He asked quietly.
"Somewhere between one hundred and three hundred." Thrym said. "About one every fifty years to a hundred years or so. My mother used to love being pregnant, he would demand all kinds of foods from the kitchen, including several that didn't exist until he invented it. Have you tried the shredded louptr beans and wouza flesh? Mother's. It was one of the few that didn't taste completely horrible, and the whole court had to eat whatever he invented, even father. The sight of the king forcing down one of mother's creations used to reduce me to tears I was laughing so hard."
He grinned at Loki.
Loki's answering smile was tentative.
"Can't you tell when a seed is fertile and only mate then?" He asked.
"Unfortunately even our best healers and sorcerers cannot tell when a seed is fertile. It could be at any time."
Loki's shoulders slumped.
"You'll be alright." Thrym said gently. "Laufey will be a good father, you'll see."
Loki sighed and traced the image on the page again.
"Goupr is very lucky." Loki said quietly.
Thrym suddenly realised that Loki was gently leaning into his side, and had been for quite some time. He shifted nervously.
"You should get some rest, you can keep the book to look at if you want to." He got up quickly. "Don't tell Laufey about the casket."
"I won't." Loki said smiling.
Thrym returned it and left the room. His smile dropped the instant he was out of Loki's sight.
###
Laufey was down in the artisan's wing. He was admiring a particularly fine golden thighlet and matching armlet. He gave Thrym a puzzled smile when he saw him.
"Is Loki asleep? I thought he was feeling better."
"He's awake, I left him to read on his own."
"He can do that already? That's wonderful."
"He's still on the children's stories, but he is a very fast learner and his memory is phenomenal."
"Good. Do you think he'll like this?"
"The set? It's very beautiful."
"They're made out of that cursed necklace. I hope Loki likes the style."
"Brother I need to speak to you, privately." Thrym said softly.
Laufey put down the jewellery and frowned at him.
"In my workroom." He said.
###
Loki climbed to the end of the bed and looked out at the western mountains in the distance. He wondered how far he could go before the binding spell brought him back. He'd travelled for about a second before landing in Laufey's lap. The Bifrost moved you at incredible speed. Granted it had still been accelerating him when he was pulled back, but he still estimated that he could reach the mountains without the binding spell activating.
###
"I cannot continue teaching Loki to read." Thrym announced. "I need to be in the training grounds with my men."
"You are the best one for him."
"What if Asgard attacks to bring him home?"
"They can't, he is bound to me."
"And if they try and kill you? We must be ready to defend ourselves."
"Odin is not like that, not anymore. And our army is stronger now than it was back when the war began."
###
Loki narrowed his eyes as he looked at the castle grounds. He would need to hold an invisibility spell for a long time. And he'd need a decoy, something to keep people thinking that he was still in the castle. He'd done it before, and he was feeling a lot better now. He was alone right now, but he needed to be alone for longer if he wanted to perform the trace spell. It was his last hope of finding and breaking the binding curse.
###
"Laufey you need to be with your mate."
"I am with him. I spend time with him every day, but I need to run a kingdom. Loki likes you."
"Yes, he does. But he should like you."
"Thrym, I need someone I can trust."
"Then trust me when I say you must do this yourself. Take him to see you work! He can practice his reading here, and he may get a new appreciation for what you do."
"Thrym."
"Laufey I cannot."
"Thrym, you will do as I ask."
"No."
"Thrym."
"I refuse. Throw me in the dungeon."
"Thrym you're being ridiculous."
"Those are your choices Laufey, I will not teach him anymore."
###
Once out of the castle grounds he would have to make his way down the main road for a while. It was hard to see at this distance but he thought he could make out the mountain road branching off in the distance.
###
"I will not release you from your duty unless you tell me why you want to stop."
"It's the right thing for you both."
"How?"
"Trust me."
"No, Thrym, tell me how this is better. As your king I command you to tell me."
"Fine, I think he is bonding with me."
"What?"
"I don't think he even realises it but he is showing small signs of wanting to bond. It's very early and he's never shown a sign of recognising the behaviour in others. I just think it's better that I am not around as often."
"You are already bonded."
"That doesn't stop people from developing feelings."
"He feels for you."
"Maybe, slightly. I want to discourage it. He is yours."
"He doesn't feel for me."
"Not yet, but if you spend more time with him-"
"I spend most of my day with him! And what happens? He feels for you!"
Loki carefully made an inventory of the food he had. The basket of Asgard food was still mostly full, his appetite having vanished with his illness. He also had winter clothes, but it would be better if he had the cleansing draught, his Jotun form would be helpful in keeping out the cold while he sat still to perform the trace spell. The sorcerers had reported that it would be ready the next day, so he just had to wait until then
"I listened to him! He wants to be listened to, to be heard. Doesn't everyone! He is reacting to me because I made him feel heard. Listen to you mate brother, he needs you to listen."
Laufey threw himself into his chair and looked grumpily up at Thrym.
"He doesn't want me. He doesn't want to mate. But if we don't we might miss a fertile seed. I need an heir Thrym. After the first one we can take our time but I *need* to do this."
"I know brother. He doesn't understand. I don't think there is anything we can do except wait and hope that he comes around. But if you can inspire a bond then surely he will want to mate with you."
"How did you do it?" Laufey looked up at his brother. "How did you reach him?"
"I don't know, but I think I made him feel safe, safe and heard."
"I will try to listen, but I cannot stop the mates."
"I know. I hope you are successful brother."
Laufey sighed.
"Me too."
###
Odin looked up as Thor entered the room. Frigga was already seated there, looking anxious.
"Close the door, Thor." Odin said.
He waited until Thor had sat down before speaking.
"Our spy reports that our impressions of Laufey as a tyrant are not wholly correct. Apparently he plays up that side for our benefit. He has been seen escorting Loki to various activities, apparently in an attempt to court him. But there is some concern."
Thor leaned forward slightly in his chair, bracing himself for the worst.
"There is some speculation in the Jotun court that Laufey may be physically hurting Loki when they mate."
"Of course he is! He's raping him!"
Frigga and Odin winced.
"How can that not hurt?" Thor demanded.
"Apparently Jotun bodies are designed to react favourably to mating, even if the recipient is not willing." Odin said with a grimace. "For Laufey to be hurting Loki is unusual for them. The court is worried."
"Then we should be doubly so." Thor said. "Does the spy have any information that we can use as leverage?"
"Nothing yet. She's still searching for something we can use. When can you go back Frigga?"
"Thirty six and a half days." Frigga said without hesitation. "I worry for him. I can't sleep thinking about my baby." Her eyes filled with tears.
Thor blinked hard and looked at the ceiling. Odin took a deep, shaky breath.
"We all fear for Loki. We must hope that our spy can find something we can use."
"What if she does not?" Thor asked. "What then is our plan father?"
Odin didn't say anything.
"Father?" Thor asked again.
"We have no plan." Odin said softly. "If we cannot force Laufey's hand we will lose Loki forever."
"No." Frigga said. "We will not leave my baby with those people. We *will* break the binding spell and we *will* bring him home. The one thing we will not do is give up on him." She raised her chin and locked eyes with Odin. "Whatever it takes." She said quietly.
###
Loki watched as Laufey walked to the breakfast table and sat down. There was a clunk as his foot hit the empty casket. He frowned, reached down and pulled it out. He looked from the casket to Loki, who shrugged to indicate the presence of the casket must be a mystery that was clearly unsolvable. Laufey rolled his eyes and muttered something about annoying younger brothers name Thrym. He reached out towards Loki. Loki made himself step forward into Laufey's arms and allowed himself to be lifted up. He settled on Laufey's lap and started to eat his breakfast.
There was a noise at the door. Laufey and Loki both turned to see the head sorcerer, Kwall and the visitor Hraudung standing there.
"Your Majesties, we have finished brewing the cleansing draught." Kwall said.
He held a large bottle in his hands.
Laufey grinned and gestured for them to enter.
"Pour a measure for Loki." He said.
As Kwall reached for Loki's cup Laufey gave him a hard look. Kwall nodded just faintly to indicate that he had checked the potion thoroughly and found no poisons or problems with the brewing.
Loki picked up his cup and drank without hesitation. Kwall put the bottle on the table.
"One measure every quarter-day. We will begin trying to strengthen it now that we know the brewing process." He said.
Laufey nodded at them.
"Thankyou Kwall, Hraudung." He said.
After they left Loki eyed the bottle carefully. He estimated there was enough for ten days or so. The food in his mother's basket would last him that long if he was careful. He would go tonight.
They finished their breakfast in silence. Laufey made no move to remove Loki from his lap and Loki didn't argue, he was too busy making plans.
He was surprised when Laufey took his hand afterwards.
"You are to come with me today." Laufey said.
"Where's Thrym?" Loki asked.
For a moment he thought he saw Laufey's face darken but it was gone so fast that he couldn't be sure.
"Thrym has to see to his men. He is the general of my army and needs to return to his role. He said you were reading quite well, you can read in my workroom."
"I could read here." Loki suggested. "I don't want to get in your way and I still feel a little unwell, I should rest some more."
"You will not be in my way and you can rest in the chair. Come on."
Laufey took Loki's hand and led him down the corridors to his workroom.
Loki had never been inside of it. He wasn't sure what to expect but he would not have guessed a table covered in scrolls and books, two chairs and a simple bookshelf cut into the ice wall.
Laufey pulled out Loki's book and handed it to him.
"Can you read while I do this work? You can ask me if you get to a word you don't understand."
Loki took the book uncertainly. This whole morning was a new development and not one that he liked. He sat down in the second chair and opened his book. It was the further adventures of Mika. He focussed on the words in front of him as Laufey sat down and pulled a pile of scrolls toward himself.
Loki finished the book in good time. Normally he would talk to Thrym, ask him questions about Jotunheim. Now he sat uneasily in his chair and glanced around the room.
Laufey looked up and spotted him.
"Finished?"
Loki jumped.
"Yes. Yes I've finished." He said.
"Would you like another one?" Laufey asked.
Loki nodded.
"Yes please." He said.
Laufey rose and fetched another of Mika's adventures.
"I used to read these when I was small." He said. "This one was my favourite."
Loki took it from him and opened it.
"Mike…finds?...the Mau."
"Encounters, see the tiny stroke above the 'dr' rune?"
"Oh, thankyou." Loki gave Laufey a tight smile and raised the cover of the book so that it broke their eye line.
Laufey went back to his work.
After he's cleared away the scrolls he rose and went to the door. His advisors were waiting outside. They followed him in and stood around the desk as Laufey settled back into his chair. Off to the side, Loki peeked out at them from behind his book.
"Your Majesty." The first one said.
"Uoukr, head of the northern region." Laufey said to Loki.
He turned back to Uoukr, who was looking over at Loki curiously.
"Your report?" He asked.
"Yes your Majesty. The harvest promises to be good this year. We estimate enough to last until halfway through the darkening."
"That is good." Laufey said. "We only lasted a third of the way last year."
Loki was intrigued in spite of himself. Odin had handled the business of Asgard openly and Loki had always tried to be present, unlike Thor who spent his time training. Laufey's realm ran in a similar fashion.
"What is the darkening?" He asked. He'd heard that phrase before.
They all turned to look at him.
"Our winter." Laufey said. "We need to prepare every year to ensure we have enough food to survive. Nothing grows during the darkening."
Loki nodded.
"Oh."
Laufey turned back to his advisors who were all watching Loki like he was some kind of rare specimen, which was actually a pretty accurate description.
"Yorte, your report on the Palif harvest? Yorte is in charge of the southern region." He said to Loki.
Loki spent the rest of the morning watching Laufey tackle the business of the realm, the book in his lap forgotten.
Laufey sent Loki back to their chambers alone at lunch. He told him he wanted to fetch something and to start without him.
Loki crawled into his chair and reached for the bottle of cleansing draught. He poured himself a dose and swallowed it as the servants arrived with lunch. He waited politely for them to lay out the food and leave before reaching up and grabbing about half of his plateful. He jumped down and ran to Frigga's basket. He stowed the food and ran back to his chair just in time for Laufey to enter. Loki quickly shifted his food on the plate to make it look fuller and tried to look innocent.
Laufey smiled at him and sat down. He put a box on the table and started to eat.
"You've taken your draught?" He asked.
"Yes." Loki said, biting into some kind of meat roll. It crunched under his teeth.
"Is your chair high enough?" Laufey asked.
Loki realised that this was the first meal he'd eaten at the table while not sitting on Laufey's lap.
"Yes, it's fine." He said.
Laufey went back to his meal.
When they finished Laufey reached for the box.
"I had this made for you. I hope you like it." He said.
Loki laid the box on the table and opened it. The set Laufey had commissioned lay inside.
"I had the diamonds set into it as a base pattern, and the sapphires are spelled to change colour to reflect what you feel like wearing." Laufey said. He sounded nervous.
Loki picked up the armlet and examined the pattern.
"Do you like it?" Laufey asked.
Loki looked up at him.
"Yes, it's beautiful." He meant it, it was the sort of design he would have secretly craved back in Asgard, but never admitted it for fear of Thor's teasing. He slipped the armlet on and secured it. The sapphires changed to a deep green colour.
"It suits you." Laufey said.
Loki pulled out the thighlet and slipped it on under the table. Laufey watched for a moment, then gave in to curiosity and leaned over to see. The stones had changed to match and the overall effect made his heart race.
Laufey very deliberately moved back and did not attempt to reach out and stroke Loki's leg. He did not want Loki to associate his new gift with mating, as much as it pained Laufey to admit it, he knew Loki would reject the set entirely if that happened.
"You'll make the court jealous." He said instead, rising from his chair.
Loki jumped down and went to follow him to the throne room for the afternoon audience.
Laufey turned and stopped him.
"I think you should stay here today. I don't have many people to see and you should rest, I don't want your illness to flare up again."
His smile was brittle, Loki noticed. He wondered briefly when he had gotten to know Laufey's smile well enough to spot it.
"Alright." He said.
"Why don't you ask the servants to bring you some writing implements and write a letter to your mother? I'll be back soon."
Loki nodded brightly.
"Good idea." He said.
Laufey left.
Loki stuck his head out of the door and smiled at the servant waiting behind his guard.
"May I have some writing implements and a drink of dia, um, diea from the kitchens?" He asked politely.
"Yes your Majesty." The servant bowed and headed away.
As soon as Loki had his drink he sat at the table and stared at the surface of the cup. Diea was alright as a drink but the quality Loki like most about it right now was its dark smooth surface. He called upon his magic and focussed hard on the throne room. Slowly the image appeared before him.
For a while the usual scene was all he could see. There were less supplicants than was usual, but the number had been lessening for a while. Laufey had blamed it on the time of year. Finally the last one left and Laufey was alone with his courtiers.
Then Hraudung was escorted in. Loki focussed his concentration further and the sounds of the throne room filled his ears.
"Hraudung. How are you settling into the castle?"
"Very well, your Majesty." Hraudung said.
He looked around at the court nervously.
Laufey leaned forwards, his back was hunched and his hands and arms were curled almost like claws. Loki frowned in concern.
"The messenger you sent to your mate returned yesterday. He reported that all was well yes?"
"Yes your Majesty, I am pleased to hear it." Hraudung said.
Laufey's face was ugly, he stared down at Hraudung with unconcealed contempt.
"I had the messenger followed." He said.
Hraudung's face fell. Fear filled his eyes.
"Do you know what my spy saw? He saw the messenger reach the far western plains, walk for a number of miles and then be met by you."
Hraudung was slowly backing away.
"You cast a spell on him and turned him back. Then you disappeared."
Thrym appeared behind Hraudung. He was holding his hammer.
In the royal chambers Loki bit his lip. He wanted to shout a warning but it was useless.
"You are a spy Hraudung, you were sent by Asgard. You used the cleansing draught to ingratiate yourself into the court. You manipulated events so that I would ask you to stay, and sending a messenger to your 'family' was a nice touch."
He made a small gesture with his hand. Thrym brought the hammer down on Hraudung's scull. The blow killed him instantly.
In the royal chambers Loki shut his eyes and turned away. He knew now why Laufey hadn't wanted him there. He forced himself to look back.
Guards picked up Hraudung's body and dragged it from the room. Thrym pulled out a cloth and wiped the head of the hammer. Laufey scowled at the door where Hraudung's body had been taken.
"I wish I could send Odin the body back as a message." He muttered. "This audience is over."
He got up and left the room.
Loki waved his hand over the drink and dismissed the spell. He picked up the quill and hastily wrote 'Dear Mother' on the blank scroll. The quill was too big for him to hold easily and the ink splotched on the page. He scribbled a little bit about his reading lessons and his gratitude for the food. By the time Laufey entered the room he had a few lines down.
Laufey smiled at him.
"All done, I told you it wouldn't take long." He glanced at the scroll. "You haven't written much." He said.
Loki looked down at the scroll in front of him.
"I don't know what to say." He said.
Laufey sat down in his chair.
"Tell her about the children and their game." He suggested.
Loki bent his head to the task. He managed to write a letter containing no sensitive information whatsoever that was still a decent length. Laufey seemed content to sit quietly until he was finished.
"We still haven't worked out how to deliver it yet." He said. "I suspect though that if you took it to the Bifrost site and left it there Odin's all-seeing guard will collect it."
"Can we go now?" Loki asked.
Laufey nodded and rose.
"Let's go." He said.
That night Loki lay pressed against Laufey's side. He tried to inch away so that he could begin his escape, but Laufey's arm was wrapped tightly around him.
He sighed in frustration, Laufey always held him tightly, he'd thought he could get out but he'd been mistaken. He would have to try and slip out tomorrow.
He closed his eyes and tried to find the binding spell again. He didn't expect to find it and wasn't disappointed. Then he had a thought. The spell bound him to Laufey, so that meant there must be a link between them. He may not be able to sense the spell on himself but surely he could feel it between them. If that was the case he could trace it back to himself and hopefully work out how to break it.
He reached out tentatively toward Laufey's sleeping form…
…and screamed as his body jerked violently off the bed. He muscle contracted painfully as though he'd been hit by lightning. He gasped and moaned as the tremors shook his body.
He opened his eyes to find Laufey staring down at him. His red eyes were furious.
"And what spell were you trying to cast exactly?" He spat out.
Loki groaned, he hurt too much to speak.
Laufey waited in cold silence, he had never looked more like a monster.
Loki tried desperately to think of a lie that would get him out of trouble. He could barely remember what he *had* been doing. His brain hurt.
Laufey did not move. He continued to glare down as Loki struggled to breathe deeply enough to speak.
"Lower…your sex drive." He managed. It was plausible, Laufey knew Loki didn't want to mate and it would deflect from his real objective. He was in trouble, but how much remained to be seen.
Laufey pulled Loki up from the floor and shoved him onto the bed. He pinned Loki's arms by his sides and reached for the furs, using them to wrap Loki up so tightly that he couldn't move. Laufey kept wrapping until Loki was little more than the centre of a furry tube. Only his face was left exposed. He tried to wriggle out and found that he couldn't move an inch. Laufey took the last fur and lay down on it on the other end of the bed.
Neither one of them slept for the rest of the night. Loki could hear Laufey's occasional huffs of angry breath. He tried hard to stay silent as his back started to hurt from the awkward position he was forced to lie in. He was grateful when the cleansing draught wore off, his Jotun body had grown uncomfortably warm inside of all the furs. His face was freezing though, he tried to turn his face into the furs and found it impossible.
When morning came Laufey unwrapped him and pulled him roughly by the arm to the brushing room. The servants glanced nervously at them but Laufey didn't seem to care. He held Loki firmly by both arms and forced him to stand directly in front of him. Loki glared at him with undisguised hatred.
When the servants had fled, Laufey let go of Loki's body and left him to change back to Asgard form in the cold air. Loki gasped as the cold sliced into him. He walked quickly to the table and pulled himself up onto his fur covered chair. He looked at the bottle that held his draught. He couldn't touch it, it was cold enough to burn him. He sat, freezing and helpless as Laufey ate his breakfast as though it was trying to escape from the table.
Laufey left without a word. Loki waited until he had left and stood up on the chair. He climbed onto the table and used the fur from his chair to pick up the bottle. He tipped some into his mouth and swallowed.
The room grew warmer as the draught worked. Loki stoppered the bottle and grabbed his breakfast. He jumped form the table and put them both into Frigga's basket. He grabbed his winter clothes and wrapped them into a bundle, cursing the lack of an appropriate carrying pack. With a nervous glance at the door he took a deep breath to calm himself and created a clone lying on the bed. Another breath and he was invisible.
He crept down the corridors of the castle, slipping past the servants and guards that wandered the halls. His sprint across the training yard was fraught with near misses but at last he reached the castle gates. He checked the contents of his basket to make sure it was all still secure and headed out toward the mountains. Behind him, the snow on the pathway shifted to erase his tracks. Around him, the air filled with invisible magic, masking his presence to all who might go looking.
Laufey returned at mid morning. He'd thrown himself into the business of the realm with a fury that startled his advisors. He'd snapped and snarled and taken his anger out on the furniture. Now though he was calm, at least, as calm as he could be. He told himself again that Loki didn't understand that mating was important. An heir was important. He'd been so furious to think his mate had attacked him, and doubly so when he found out how. He walked back into the room to find Loki lying on the bed.
"Loki."
There was no movement.
"Loki, look at me."
Nothing.
Laufey reached over and touched Loki's arm. It disappeared, Loki disappeared. Laufey stared at the empty bed in shock. Loki was gone. He looked around the room in a panic, half expecting to see Loki hiding somewhere. Instead his shrewd eyes took in the missing basket, Asgard clothes and the draught bottle. Laufey strode to the door and stuck his head out.
"Fetch Thrym." He barked, trying to keep the panic from his voice.
Loki had run away.
###
Loki timed his run carefully. He jogged alongside the cart until he'd matched speed and then leapt up onto the back. It jolted slightly at his extra weight but the driver thankfully didn't turn around.
Loki settled down among the freight until he couldn't be seen from the outside relaxed. He was afraid to sleep, but the previous night and his morning spent running had worn him down. The cart was moving just faster than walking pace. Hopefully he could get a few hours before the driver needed to stop.
He wondered whether he'd have any warning before the binding spell took him, enough time to backtrack and avoid being taken? He hoped so. The plan was find a nice, isolated spot where he could perform the trace spell and hopefully find the binding spell on his body. Step two was to break it, which he may have to do back at the castle. He doubted very much Laufey was going to let him get away for long.
###
Thrym scanned the room carefully before his eyes came to rest on Laufey's panicked face.
"What did you do this time?" He asked.
"Nothing!" Laufey snapped. "*He* cast a spell on *me*."
"What spell?"
"To sap my desire for sex."
Thrym frowned.
"He still doesn't realise how important this is?"
"I don't think he cares." Laufey snapped. "I have to find him, I have enemies out there, if they realise he's gone from my protection they will look for him and kill him."
Thrym nodded.
"You should take a Grur, they are the fastest runners."
Laufey headed past his brother and out the door.
"You will handle the realm until I return." He said.
"Wait, I will send some men as an escort."
"They will have to catch me up." Laufey said.
They raced down the corridors to the stables on the eastern side of the castle.
"He's probably gone west." Thrym said. "So you should head in the other direction."
"Why west?" Laufey asked.
They reached the stables. Laufey grabbed one of the army carry packs and began to climb the side of the Grur. It was big enough for two full sized Jotuns to lie down on its back.
"He can see the western gate from your chambers, he could have mapped the whole yard area and the plains beyond. He has not had the opportunity to do so anywhere else. It is the logical choice." Thrym said.
"Loki is not logical. Not that I have seen." Laufey called from the top of the Grur. "But I have no better plan."
He grabbed the reins and coaxed the animal into movement.
"I will send my men behind you. I will tell them it was bandits." Thrym called as Laufey rode past.
Laufey raised a hand in acknowledgement and rode out of the eastern gate. It went against his instincts to ride away from where he thought his mate had gone but thus was the nature of the binding spell.
###
Loki's luck held all morning. He slept undisturbed in the cart for a few hours and was pleased to note that the driver turned down the mountain road. He stayed until nightfall, when the driver stopped at a village. With great care not to make a sound he dropped down to the ground and set out walking along the road. He walked for a few miles before coming to a fork. At the junction there was a small rise with steep, icy sides. Loki walked around it carefully. The far side had a small kind of depression in it. He scanned the surrounding area carefully. It was closer than the mountains where he'd been heading but it meant he'd have more time for the spell. The ground on this side of the rise looked undisturbed, hopefully that meant Jotun did not often walk around it. He set his things down, checked that his tracks were covered, took a mouthful of the draught and pulled on his winter clothes for extra protection.
Loki settled his back against the ice and breathed in deeply a couple of times to calm himself. Slowly he closed his eyes and let the casting for the trace spell begin.
###
Laufey rode all afternoon at a ferocious pace. The Grur were good for high speed transport. They had good night vision too which was just as well, because Laufey did not plan on stopping. Loki had no idea the dangers Jotunheim held for an unprotected ice maiden. If he were found by an enemy they would kill him without a thought. If he were found by bandits they would demand a great ransom, no doubt sending a finger or ear along with their note, and if he were found by Trolls they would take their pleasure without mercy until it killed him.
Night fell, and Laufey kept riding onwards.
Thrym ordered his most trusted men to ride after Laufey. He told them Loki had been taken by bandits and that Laufey had rode off in a fury to get him back. They were gone less than an hour after Laufey down the eastern road.
The sorcerers were instructed to scry for him, although Thrym doubted they would find him. Loki was raised a prince of Asgard, he would know how to hide from scrying eyes.
He sent his best trackers to the western gate, with orders to be silent on any trail they might follow. They picked up nothing on the path, but one of them found a faint footprint in the snow of the training yard, too slender to be a child's. It was heading toward the western gate.
They followed.
Throughout the castle the rumours went wild. The official story was that Loki had been taken by bandits, determined to empty the King's treasury and that Laufey had ridden to rescue his mate.
But it was a weak story, as hastily made up ones are, and Thrym heard more than a few whispers that Laufey had been rough with Loki, hurt him, caused him pain, and that they were both still in the royal chambers where Laufey was treating his mate poorly away from prying eyes.
"He'll never get an heir like that." Thrym heard one of their brothers say. "If he's too rough Loki won't peak, you need to peak to have a child."
"I heard Loki was taught wild ways by the Asgard and he needs to be civilized before he can be a proper mother." Whispered another.
"He won't learn to be civilized by Laufey being rough with him, that's probably how the Asgard treated him."
"Maybe it's all he's used to? Maybe Laufey is easing him into being gentle because he doesn't know any better?"
Thrym growled under his breath. These rumours would cause chaos in the court. Laufey should have done more to prevent them. Instead it was all up to Thrym.
###
Loki barely moved for days. He rose only to eat and take the draught. Sometimes he'd be so deep into the spell that he'd miss the time and wake to find himself in Asgard form. He was grateful for the winter clothes.
His only disappointment was that he still couldn't locate the binding spell. He wasn't done, not by a long way, but he had hoped to pick up the faint trace of it sooner.
###
Thrym's trackers returned after heavy snowfall overnight destroyed any chance of finding the trail. They couldn't even tell if Loki had stayed on the main road or travelled down on of the side roads, or even left the roadway entirely behind him.
Laufey was tired, he hadn't slept for days. His body hurt from riding the Grur non stop at a run. He was grateful that the beast could travel so fast for so long.
He could remember his father telling him that he had to be ten days ride from his mate before the spell would activate. That was ten days on a regular hunt, with stops for sleep. Laufey hoped to reach the limit in four.
Thrym's men did their best to catch Laufey, but he had ridden at top speed through uneven round. It was a foolish thing to do and they did not dare match it. But even so they stayed on the trail. They would catch their King, and rescue his mate. No bandit would be left alive.
###
Loki was only halfway through the trace spell when his eyes opened. Something was wrong, he could feel it, like someone was watching him. He reached for the food basket and gripped the handle protectively.
There was a sudden lurch in his belly and he found himself in Laufey's arms.
Loki screamed in anger and swung his fist at Laufey's head. Laufey had not been expecting it and the blow landed solidly.
Laufey's grip lessened and Loki took the opportunity to swing again. He let go of the basket which tumbled away from him as he punched Laufey a third time. Laufey's lip split from the impact.
With a rowl of annoyance Laufey swung his arm in a wide arc, throwing Loki off him. Loki tumbled sideways and found himself slipping off the edge of a large beast. He had a fleeting glimpse of a long fall and large paws before he was jolted to a holt.
Laufey had caught the back of his coat. Laufey pulled him back up onto the beast's back.
Loki kick him in the stomach. Laufey growled and tried to pin Loki's arms.
Loki responded by spitting into Laufey's face.
Laufey raised his arm up with a snarl.
He froze. Loki was looking at him with wild hatred, his features twisted into a fierce snarl of his own. His body and face were braced for the blow.
Laufey lowered his arm. He had fought in battle, executed criminals and hunted prey, but he had sworn never to raise his arm to his mate. Even though at this point his mate was trying to kill him.
Loki grabbed the back of Laufey's neck and slammed their heads together.
Laufey grunted in pain as Loki's forehead hit his nose. It didn't break, but it was a close thing.
He managed to get a grip on Loki and push him, face down, onto the back of the Grur. Then he sat on him.
It was not the most eloquent of solutions but Laufey didn't have a lot of options. Loki struggled under him and let out a scream of rage and frustration. Laufey reached forward and grabbed the reins. He turned the Grur around and slowed it's mad run. They could be slow now that Loki was with him.
Loki continued to struggle beneath him for hours as they made their way back to the castle. Laufey sat still, not letting Loki have an inch. Finally Loki slumped, he was breathing heavily and staring up at Laufey angrily.
"Why?" Laufey said.
Loki growled and renewed his struggles.
"Loki, talk to me, I'm listening. Why did you run away? You know you were never going to get far."
Loki stayed silent.
"I'm trying to understand you." Laufey said.
Loki reached down as far as his arms could go and pinched Laufey's leg as hard as he could.
"Ow." Laufey said dryly. "Please tell me why."
Loki ignored him.
They continued on for another twenty minutes in silence, until Laufey registered a minute change in Loki's body beneath him.
"Loki." He said. "I want to know why you ran."
Loki pulled a face.
"I wanted to try and find the binding spell so I could break it." He admitted reluctantly. "Because I hate you and I want to go home."
Laufey shifted off him and allowed him to get up.
"You are home." He said.
Loki looked murderous.
"Yes, well, you're in luck because I still can't find it. I've tried every spell I can think of and it's like it doesn't exist, except for the fact that it works." He snapped.
Laufey looked at him for a minute, then tried to concentrate. He had never been particularly good at magic, but he remembered this.
He reached out and gently touched Loki's shoulder. Loki pulled back but the momentary contact was enough.
The back of Loki's hands began to glow.
Laufey gestured to them.
"It's over your whole body, you can see more if you remove your coat and pants."
Loki stared at the back of his hands in shock. In a kind of daze he peeled back his winter clothes and took in the glowing pattern across his skin.
It was everywhere, thousands of tiny runes written across his skin. No wonder he couldn't feel it with his magic, it was a part of his magic. In the first magic lesson he'd ever had he had been taught to find his magic, feel the shape of it, recognise it. The spell had been two hundred years old then, it had been a part of him for so long that he had failed to recognise it as foreign.
He wondered what his magic felt like without it. Lighter? Smaller? He had no idea.
And he couldn't break it. The complexity was such that if he had the rest of his life to work on it, to separate the feel of it from his own magic, he still wouldn't be able to figure out how to undo it. He was trapped here. He was never going home.
Laufey watched Loki carefully. He was staring at his body in a kind of shock. He didn't resist when Laufey touched his shoulder again, making the runes disappear.
He didn't resist when Laufey pulled the coat back over his shoulders and reminded him that the draught had been lost and he needed to be careful.
He didn't resist when Laufey pulled him into his arms and held him while the Grur made it's way back across the ice.
A quarter day later they were met by Thrym's men. The leader raised his arm in salute and drew alongside.
"You have him, your Majesty." He said, glancing over at Loki, who was staring at nothing. He looked exhausted and miserable. "And the bandits?"
"They were not a problem." Laufey said woodenly.
The leader took in his King's split lip, bruised face and body. His eyes slipped back to Loki, a silent figure in the King's arms.
"Yes your Majesty. We will escort your Majesties home."
Laufey nodded, his thoughts were a million miles away.
Loki said nothing.
They took seven days of riding to reach the castle. This time they stopped for rest each night. Loki had said nothing. He did not resist when Laufey carried him, held him or fed him. He just seemed to drift inside his head.
If the men noticed they said nothing, but Laufey found this new, quiet Loki to be almost frightening. He would look down while they rode to find Loki staring at the back of his hands, as though they had given him great sorrow.
When they reached the castle the court crowded around to see them. Thrym had done a good job of calming the rumours, at least publically. They cheered the King who had gone to rescue his mate.
Laufey carried Loki back to their chambers and laid him down on the bed. It had been eleven days since they had mated, time enough for a fertile seed to be lost. Laufey was torn between coaxing this new quiet Loki from his stupor, and his own anxious need to continue their mates.
Loki just lay there, he didn't even raise his head.
Laufey frowned. He leaned forward and very deliberately nipped Loki's ear.
No response.
He did it again.
Still nothing.
He pulled Loki's coat off, then his pants.
Nothing, not a plea.
Laufey pulled the remaining clothes from Loki's body and stroked down it's length.
This at least got a response, Loki turned his head away and looked out of the window.
Laufey frowned and nipped at Loki's neck. He squeezed Loki's thighs and nuzzled his hair.
Loki just kept looking out at the window.
Laufey pulled Loki's legs open. Loki didn't even fight it...
(edited, for full scene see link above)
... He whimpered as he peaked, the only sound he'd made since they started. Laufey spent himself and pulled out of his mate. He scanned the room quickly for threats and settled down on the bed before gathering Loki in his arms and holding him until he was done.
Afterward Loki just lay slumped against him, still staring at nothing.
For the first time since Loki had arrived on Jotunheim, Laufey felt as though he'd done something wrong.
