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Chapter 9
Les' POV
I click open my email and I wonder if she's answered my questions.
Les,
I've been making a new life. I'm sorry about Ranger, but really, what did he expect? For me to be all happy go lucky about him? He left me Les. I was just returning the favor. I do think of you often though. I'm sorry that he's making your life hell and I am sorry that he's not sleeping. Did he ever think about how hard it was for me to sleep when he left? I don't think he did. I feel like it's justice, but I'm not happy about it. I didn't want him to suffer. Why did my leaving hurt him so much? And, for the record you will not be kicking anyone's ass. He's a good friend to me a brother, I'd say. Yes, I'm a waitress, but hopefully not for much longer. Someone I know mentioned the idea of going back to school to become a teacher, I think I might go for it. Yes! I am cooking. And, no. It's not all burning. So, suck it! I'll be a better cook than you in no time. Les...it will be enough when I get back. I was happy with you, but...here I'm not Ranger's wife. Here, I'm my own person and he's not a part of it. I hope you can understand.
Love,
Steph
I guess she was partially right about Ranger. I mean he did leave her first. Karma. I'm kind of surprised that she's not happy about his pain. Not that she should be, it's just he hurt her, so I thought she'd like to know that he was hurting. On one hand I wonder how she could even care for him after what he did, but on the other, I knew they had a great friendship. At least the guy she's hanging out with isn't a threat. Bombshell, as a teacher? I smile just thinking about it. If, I was her student I'd love her. I quickly wrote my reply and waited impatiently for her response. I'm tapping my pen on my desk when I hear the ding.
"What are you waiting for?" I hear behind me. I spin around quickly.
"Bobby, what's up man?" I ask, trying to block the computer screen. He looks at me curiously.
"You okay man? You seem a little jumpy," he states still looking me over.
"I'm fine. Do you need something?" I ask, wanting to get him away as soon as possible. He's brow is still scrunched as he looks for an explanation for my behavior. He drops it and looks me in the eyes.
"Nah, I was just wondering if you were up to going to Shorty's later," Bobby says. "All the guys are gonna go." I think about it. It depends on if Steph and I are still emailing.
"What time?" I wonder, thinking that I can just show up once I finish here. He checks his watch.
"In an hour and a half," he tells me. I bob my head up and down.
"I'll think about it. I just have to get this report done," I tell him pointing to the crappy paper that's on my desk. He nods.
"Alright man." He walks away and I wait a couple seconds longer before turning to my computer. I click open the newest email. My breath catches in my throat as I read it quickly. My heart is pounding in my chest and it's all I can hear. My eyes keep reading one sentence over and over.
I'm wildly, madly, in love with you...I'm wildly, madly, in love with you. In love with you. In love with you. With you...with you...with you. I'm wildly, madly, in love with you.
With my heart pounding so loud, I didn't hear him walk up. I didn't know he had read over my shoulder. I hadn't known he was looking at me. I hadn't known. I have gotten sloppy.
"You're talking to Steph?" he asks, rather loudly. I jump up quickly, not knowing he was there.
"Shh!" I say, clamping a hand over his mouth. I look around to make sure nobody is seeing this. It's a good thing I keep the camera at my desk scrambled.
"You can't tell anyone," I say. "Bobby, please man, don't let them know." I let go of Bobby's mouth.
"Dude, you're in contact with her! You have to tell someone. You know what will happen if Ranger finds out," he warns in a concerned friend way.
"I know man, but...I love her. And, besides she'll be gone before we can trace it," I tell him. He sighs.
"Damn it Les. Most of us knew you loved her. Just don't get caught, got it?" he says. I nod.
"I won't man and even if I do, you won't get in trouble. I won't let him know that you knew," I reassure him. He rolls his eyes.
"We're in this together. I'll be right there with you when we say that we had contact from her," Bobby says, looking me straight in the eye. He knew I understood then. We were in this together. Brothers in arms. Brothers now, at home. I gave him a manly hug and clapped him on the back.
"Thanks man." He grins. "What did you expect?" I roll my eyes.
"So, you gonna reply?" he asks with a raised eyebrow. I grin and sit back down.
"'Course I am brother," I tell him. I quickly type out my reply.
Stephanie,
I love you too. Seeing you say this makes my heart soar. You have no idea what this means to me. I cannot wait until I see you again. I love you with all my heart, mi amor. I'll think of you often.
Te amo,
Les
It wasn't very long, but I figured it didn't matter. It got the point across. Now, she would know I loved her as well. I smile. It's Bobby's turn to clap me on the back.
"Come on, I was coming to tell you we're changing the Shorty's time to now," he lets me know. I look back at the computer.
"I'm sure she'll be waiting when we get back," he offers. I log out of my computer and head out with Bobby.
"I feel like I'm on top of the world," I tell him. "If, only I knew where she was."
"All of us wish we knew where she was," he tells me. "We can still run a search to see where she was when she sent those messages," he suggests. I shrug. I guess it wouldn't hurt and she'd never know.
"I guess man," I tell him. "But, we can't let Ranger know." He nods solemnly, knowing this could end up in a giant cluster fuck.
Ranger's POV
I'm sitting at my desk doing paperwork when Tank comes in. I raise an eyebrow.
"We're going to Shorty's, you coming?" he asks even if he already suspects the answer. I debate before deciding.
"Yeah, give me a minute," I tell Tank, as I finish the final touches on a new client's contract. Once I finish I look up at Tank. I can tell he's more than a little shocked that I'm deciding to go out tonight. Every since Babe left, I haven't been myself. Or maybe, I've been more of myself then I ever knew. I haven't been sleeping though. I keep seeing her haunted eyes as she yells at me about Rex and my stupid words. I need to snap out of it though, it's not helping find her. Should I stop looking? She has asked us not to look. No, I would always look for her. I stand up and stretch. I grab my jacket and we head out.
"You driving?" I ask Tank. He raised his eyebrows before letting it go. He knows I've changed. Possibly, for the better. Hell, I have gone to Church more in the past month than I ever had. I've been praying that I find her. I've been praying for forgiveness. We get in the Turbo and head to Shorty's. When we get there everybody is already drinking their first pitcher of beer. We pour ourselves some and join the crowd. I listen to the laughing. It hasn't been this great since before Steph left. I guess the guys needed this, I haven't exactly been forthcoming to them lately.
"Everything's on me," I announce. Everyone stops the festivities and looks at me like I've grown a second head. They then start saying their thanks and laughing.
"I had to go pick up a skip with Lula the other day, but the skip was so fat when she stunned him, it didn't work!" Tank says to one of the guys. "Lula threatened him with a gun. I mean, normally she would have threatened to sit on him...but he was so big."
"I think Bombshell rubbed off on me. I got covered in mud the other day when I was chasing a skip! I swear, she's got bad karma," Woody says with a grin. The room is loud and full of cheer. I can't bring myself to find anything to be happy about. I catch Les' eye over the table and he gives me a nod. I nod back. I guess we're good. He didn't really do anything. He only helped Steph when she needed it the most. When I was an ass to her. God, I wish I could take it all back. If, I could I would take away my past, then none of this would have ever happened to her. I grab a couple slices of pizza and eat my fill. I finish a couple beers and have finally relaxed a little. I'm just enjoying the happiness around me. I close my eyes and soak it in. If, only I could feel like the guys do. They're not worried about a crazy blue eyed girl right now. They're in the moment. Having fun.
"Ric, relax. I'm the DD. Have a couple more beers. Get a fucking buzz," Tank tells me. I nod and start on my fifth or sixth beer. After I finish two more Tank hands me a shot glass. I look at him.
"You're kidding," I state. He shakes his head before replying, "No, man. Just drink it." I down it and he hands me a second. I look at him.
"If, I have a hangover tomorrow...," I tell him trailing off. He just shrugs and gives me a glass. It's either my third or fourth. I drink it quickly and I feel less inhibited. He hands me some more and by the time he finishes I can't tell how many I've had or which way the door is.
"Where's Steph?" I ask, looking over at Tank. "Maybe I'll call her since Morelli's been out of her bed." I grin at my friend. He's not looking like it's a good idea.
"RangeMan, Steph's gone. Remember?" he asks. I never realized how deep Tank's voice was before. I laugh at that.
"Right. Where'd she go?" I wonder, looking around. Then it hits me. She's gone. Like gone gone.
"I fucked up," I tell him. "I knew what I had, and I let her go. She left me. I can't believe I was such an idiot."
"Okay, Ric, let's get you in the car. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all," he says, hefting me to my feet. I feel a little woozy and the whole room is spinning.
"She left me man. I let her down. How could I be such a bastard?" I ask as Tank puts my arm around his neck. I stumble during my first step. We make it to the door okay. We get outside and I puke. He gets me to the car. I feel tears run down my cheeks.
"I love her Tank. She left. She left. What am I going to do?" I ask my friend. His face is hard to decipher, even though we've been friends a long time.
"I know man. You gotta let her go," he tells me. I roll my eyes. I can't let her go. She's already gone. Gone. Gone like a freight train, gone like yesterday, gone like a soldier in the civil war bang bang. Maybe I had too much to drink. I'm singing fucking country songs in my head.
"Get me home," I tell him. He nods. He drives me to Haywood. He helps me out of the car.
"Sorry Ric, I didn't know you'd end up like this." I nod.
"Like what? Drunk?" I ask with a grin. He rolls his eyes. Man, I feel like such a pussy. Crying and babbling like a goddamn girl. What happened to me?
"Ric, you might want to stop talking before the guys catch something on camera," Tank warns me. It sinks in and I keep my mouth shut. He gets me up to seven and leaves me alone in my apartment. Maybe drunk wasn't so bad. I lay down on my bed and close my eyes. At least I don't have Bobby medicating me.
A/N: So, whatcha think? Tank getting Ranger drunk...hmm...Ranger's not gonna be happy in the morning. :) Thanks for reading! Tell me what you thought.
