Author's Note: If you don't know who the Bubble Guppies are, and you really, reeeeeaaally want to know what the Line Up song is, you can find it on YouTube under Bubble Guppies Outside Song. WARNING: It will get stuck in your head. OTOH, it's a fun little song and it's even more fun to imagine Sam singing it to Dean to get him going. (As Bobby reaches for the booze...)

I wonder if this now means I've written an SPN/Bubble Guppies crossover? With Star Wars elements. Whatever it is, Sam deserves it after the "playgroup incident". Poor thing is probably scarred for life by all those mommies!

Please review, Obi Readers. You're my only hope...


NINE

"Bobby! I'm going out!" Sam appeared in the doorway, his face flushed.

"You all right, boy? What's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm just-I'll be back later. Maybe tomorrow morning. I'm not sure, but...will you watch Dean for me?"

"It's what I do, isn't it? I've been doing it his whole life, practically. Why should this be any different?" Bobby moved forward to put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "You sure everything's okay? Where are you going?"

"I'll tell you later. There are extra diapers upstairs in our bedroom. Cas promised to stick around to watch him tonight, while you're sleeping." Sam grinned and slipped away, leaving Bobby with another thing to worry about.

0-0-0-0-0

He was making the rounds prior to going to bed; he hadn't heard from Sam since he'd left, and truth be told he was feeling kind of squirrely about the whole thing. Sam was up to something, but he didn't know what, and with that boy's track record he had reason to be nervous. So when Bobby found Sam's phone lying on the desk next to his laptop, he had no qualms with checking his text messages.

Help me Sam Winchester. You're my only hope.

Don't tell me you're channeling Princess Leia now.

Not unless you want me to.

I dunno. Tell me what you're wearing. :P

A bathrobe and two coffee buns. How about you?

What do you think I'm wearing? ;)

Something plaid?

Lucky guess.

Yeah, right. Like you own something that isn't plaid.

I do!

Jeans don't count.

Do, too.

Keep trying, Winchester. Maybe someday you'll get lucky.

Is that a promise?

Are you flirting with me?

I might be. Are you flirting with *me*?

You do know who this is, don't you?

Oh, it's not Princess Leia? Damn. Why? Who do you think I am?

I already know who you are, you twit. C above.

I could be Darth Vadar.

Why would you flirt with me?

Why wouldn't I flirt with you?

Well. You know.

No, I don't know. What?

Me. Single mom, blahblah.

Yeah, so? Single dad, blahblah.

Single brother, you mean.

Whatever. Same thing.

No it's not.

How so?

I'm in this for the duration. You're only stuck here for another few weeks.

That's what you think. I'll still have to live with him. And he's a lot harder to appease when he's big.

At least his taste in music will improve.

Says you. You try listening to Back in Black 15,000 times in a row on a cross country trip and tell me how much you like it. You'll be praying for Bubble Guppies. Believe me.

Doubt it. If I hear that Line Up song one more time…

I love that song. It's the only way we can get from one place to another without a struggle.

Yeah, but I bet you remember all the words. I only can remember the "everybody get out" part.

Bah. You don't give yourself enough credit.

Oh no! BRB.

Leia? Where r u? U ok?

OMG, ur not going to believe what just happened.

The Death Star blew up your home planet?

You really are a geek, aren't you?

It was a peaceful planet…whimper

Amelia just tried to flush the cat down the toilet!

It was a peaceful kitty…

Shut up, you giant nerd. I don't think Mittens will ever be the same.

Mittens? You named ur cat Mittens? I think all her troubles started with that and worked out from there.

Mittens is a *he*.

Well, there you go then. I rest my case.

Sam Winchester, you are not a nice man!

Hey, don't blame me. You're the one who gave your male cat a girl's name.

Sorry. I didn't realize mittens were gender specific.

Have you ever seen a guy wearing mittens?

I bet *you* wear mittens.

Thanks a lot.

I was only kidding. I'm sorry.

No, that's okay. I guess I'm a little oversensitive after yesterday. Now that everyone in Sioux Falls thinks I'm married to Cas. Can I ask-do I seem gay to you?

Of course not. I know that somewhere under all that silky brown hair and those woobly, crinkly eyebrowed expressions is a very masculine, very un-gay man.

Now you sound like Dean.

I aim to please.

Are you really a Dean-girl?

I don't know. When he was a fictional character, he sounded hot. But now that he's into Bubble Guppies, I think I'm over him.

Do you think you'd ever consider being a Sam-girl?

What do you mean?

I'm saying you could come to the Dark Side, Princess.

Dark Side? You mean, like the "we have cookies" dark side?

Well, yeah, I have those too.

Are they chocolate chip? I might flip for chocolate chip.

Hey, Annie.

Hey what, Sam?

What r u wearing? :P

You don't give up, do you?

Of course not. I'm a Winchester.

:o You're a pain in the ass, if you ask me.

That's what Bobby says.

So what do you want? Besides to get laid, that is.

Honestly?

Yes.

I want to assert my masculinity.

So stop wearing mittens.

Haha.

Well, my lawn needs to be mowed. You can come over and do that. Maybe rotate my tires, change my oil...will that help?

You know all those things could be sexual metaphors?

Seriously. I'm talking about my grass.

How about the oil change? The tire rotation?

I think you're starting to think like ur brother.

I can guarantee that he and I are not thinking alike right now. He's saving Barbie from a dinosaur with a Rescue Hero as we speak.

At least he's not trying to flush the cat.

Don't be so sure. Bobby doesn't have a cat. But if he did…

He's still doing what he does. Saving people, hunting things. Although if he wanted to let the dinosaur eat Barbie, I'd be grateful.

I'll encourage it.

My point is when he's an adult again you'll be leaving Sioux Falls to do what you guys do. Stopping the evil dinosaurs from eating the innocent bimbos.

Probably.

I don't think *you* give *yourself*enough credit. You and Dean—you're the real Rescue Heroes.

I guess.

Cool vehicle, awesome array of tools. You've got it going on, Dude.

I'd like a jetpack. That would be cool. Even though Dean's afraid of flying.

You really *are* evil.

Bwahahahaha. Hey, Annie?

Yes, Darth?

What if I told you I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, but a friend who happens to be a girl?

I can do that. I'd like to be your friend who is a girl.

Good. That will work.

Good. Although…

What?

Remember what I wrote to u b4? Sam Winchester, you're my only hope?

Sure. And then you told me you were wearing a bathrobe and two coffee buns.

I never told you *where* I'm wearing those coffee buns…

I *knew* it! I'll be right over.

"Yes! That's my boy!" Bobby punched the air. "Way to go!" And he locked the front door; Sam wouldn't be home tonight.


***I know there was a mish mosh of text shorthand, here, and I apologize. But for the sake of your eyes, dear readers, I decided to write out as much as possible. With the same goal in mind-your ease of use-I also used (or tried to use) proper grammar. (Although-confession-I write my text messages with commas and periods too. blush)

Thank you!