A/N: Thank you to Kimmydonn and nicnicd for all you do.

Disclaimer: Anything remotely resembling Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Any of the stories within, belong to me. Please do not copy or translate without permission.


Land In My Arms

Chapter 9

BPOV

At The Ranch

The rest of the week with Rose was like existing in a different universe. I was used to early rises, of course—with school and my line of work—I had to be. However, there was downtime in my days, a layover here or breaks after classes there. Not so with Rose.

At the crack of dawn, she'd drag me out of bed to help her with the chores: feeding the horses, mucking out stalls and caring for the few cattle she kept. It seemed that the heat of the day encouraged the dust to stick to my neck and clothes as we worked; I'd feel gritty and sore, chomping at the bit to get into a nice bath later in the afternoon. When evening rolled around, we often found ourselves relaxing on the porch swing and reminiscing about the times we used to spend together.

Any initial disappointment I might have had when Rose told me she was moving to Texas full time melted away when I saw how content she was with her life there.

This particular morning, the ranch was quiet except for the nickering and blowing of the horses as we brought them their hay. I appreciated the fact that Rose kept me busy—the physical labor kept my mind from over-thinking everything that had happened when Edward was here. When I wasn't careful my mind wandered back to the memory of his scent and the way that he drew lines up and down my back as we held each other. Mostly, I thought about the way he had taken me the night before he left. It was so different from our other times, so hungry, needy...

And there I go again.

I stood up from washing out the water buckets and wiped the back of my hand across my brow, pushing a lock of my hair off to the side. The more I thought about how it felt to be with him, the more my body would react—I'd feel my blood start to pound and a deep ache in the pit of my belly. Then, my mind would try to head off my heart at the pass, reminding me that there was a whole side of him I knew very little about.

For instance, I'd never even thought to question him about what he did when we weren't together. Sure, we'd talked about what we liked to do for fun, but for all I knew, he could have been living a completely different life. Different scenarios ran through my mind, each progressively worse than the last: a girlfriend...a live-in girlfriend...a wife...a wife and two kids, which essentially made me a home wrecker.

Now you're getting paranoid, Bella.

No. I couldn't imagine him being dishonest about something like that. He seemed really genuine in his actions.

During our last weekend together he'd seemed normal, the Edward I was beginning to fall for so deeply, but there at the end something had flipped, a switch flicking from on to off. I knew there had to be something, or someone, else. He wasn't himself, and, now, thinking back on it, I began to get a bad feeling.

Until that last night, when I noticed that he wanted to talk, everything had seemed copacetic. When I had started to notice the difference, I hadn't felt it was the time to press him, but now I was beginning to doubt that reaction.

I just hoped that, when he was ready, he would let me know what was going on.

-o—(_)—o-

On my last full day with Rose, she took me out for a trail ride. It was a beautiful morning and we had saddled up two of her horses, Devon and Clyde, to enjoy some one on one time that didn't involve shoveling manure and feeding the cows.

"Oh, holy hell. Rose, I swear to God that if I die I'm going to haunt you," I said as we started out. I hadn't ridden much at all, really only a few times when I was younger and living in Arizona with my mother.

She laughed at that, but kept us going down the dirt road. We rode in silence for a while, simply enjoying the sights and smells of the summer morning.

"How ya doin' back there?" Rose said turning over her shoulder.

"Surprisingly well. I think me and Clyde are getting along just fine." I leaned down and patted his neck.

She pulled Devon up gently so we were walking side-by-side. "So, I talked to Emmett last night. Or should I say tried to talk to him."

"Oh?" I tried to sound disinterested, but, of course, I wanted to know what Edward and Emmett had been talking about in the driveway. Rose had been waiting for what she said was "the perfect time to ask", or, as I referred to it "after you've ridden his brains out". I giggled to myself.

"Yeah. First thing he said when I asked him what they had talked about was 'boobs '. I punched him for that one."

I chuckled. I could picture Rose smacking Emmett on the arm when he annoyed her and she didn't get her way.

"So...when he stopped being an ass, I mentioned that their talk looked kinda serious, and he told me me that guys don't talk to each other like girls do. They don't go into details about stuff, and besides, he wouldn't give something up that was told in confidence."

In confidence. Everything I'd been worrying about the past week came flooding back, but I attempted to deflect my concern. "Hmmmph. If they knew what we talked about when we got together, they'd be shocked."

"I know. Speaking of, you're going to have to give up some details soon. I've been patient, but you know that's not my strong point."

I wasn't sure if she wanted to know details as in what was going on with me and Edward, or the good stuff. "What do you mean?"

"It may be a big house, but I have ears," she said smirking at me.

I looked away so she wouldn't see me blush, leaning over and running my fingers through Clyde's mane instead. "Let me work up to it. What were they talking about, anyway?"

"He said that Edward has to work himself through something. That was pretty much it."

Crap. I knew that much. I could feel his anxiety rolling off of him in waves when we were sitting out on the porch. I was wracking my brain, replaying our conversations in my head and wondering what set him off when Rose said, "I don't know, girl. Em said something about mentioning Denver to him or something. He was pretty vague about it, though. That's where he lives, right?"

"Denver? No. He lives in Colorado Springs. That's weird," I agreed.

I thought back to when I was spacing out at the fair, but I couldn't recall any conversations about Denver. Then again, I wasn't really paying attention at the time. Still, why would that set him off?

"Whatever, I'm sure if it's important, he'll tell you about it when he can. For now, just relax and have a good time. Want to run a little?" I nodded, lightly gripping my legs around Clyde in anticipation.

She gave Devon a little kick and he broke into an easy run. Clyde, without much urging, took off after them. Even though Clyde had a comfortable lope, I knew my butt would be sore tomorrow.

It was time for lunch by the time we got back to the ranch. I unsaddled Clyde and brushed the sweat marks out of his buttery colored coat. Giving him a once over, I made sure his feet were picked clean and walked him back to the shady paddock where he spent most of his day. He was a gentle horse, soft and calm. Rose used him as her schooling horse when she gave lessons.

I opened the gate to the paddock and led him inside. Releasing the rope from his halter, I tickled his soft nose with my fingers and gave him an apple treat which he took out of my hand with his lips, making a small popping noise in the process. I turned to look out at the property and its rolling hills, finding myself calm and at peace. It was the same way I felt when Edward and I were wrapped up in each other. Shaking my head, I sighed and moved toward the house.

If he was still acting strange the next time I spoke to him, I'd bring it up. If not... well, perhaps it had just been something else. I knew firsthand how living out of a suitcase made you feel a little weird sometimes, how it could stress you for no reason at all.

Besides, I still didn't think it had anything to do with me—we got along so well, enjoyed each other's company. The 'friends' part of our deal wasn't just a tongue in cheek title.

Yeah, maybe I was just being over-cautious because my feelings were developing into something more than I thought they would. I shook my head again and told myself to calm down.

Rose was in the kitchen pulling some items together for lunch. I grabbed a couple of tall glasses for sweet tea. Moving to the table, she set out a couple of plates of chicken salad with fresh fruit.

"How's your ass?"

I laughed. "Sore, but I'll be fine."

After a few minutes, Rose asked, "So when are you going to see Edward again?"

"Dunno. We made plans for Labor Day to head back to Anchorage, so probably not until then. It might be awhile before we'd get to see each other after that."

Briefly I explained the extra training he was committed to and the fact that school was due to start up soon for me.

"You guys look good together," she said. In her own way, it was a stamp of approval.

"God, Rose. Seriously, it's been so much fun getting to know him. He's so... I don't even know. Awesome, I guess."

It was time to include her in on this, because I needed her truthful words, whether kind or harsh. I launched into the whole story, starting in Hawaii. Watching her face change as I told about giving him his initial 'passport,' our trip to Catalina and the Fourth of July weekend amongst other things was worth giving up the pooch.

"Wow, I think that's more than I've done in a lifetime," she said jokingly.

"You and me both. I never imagined that it would turn in to this."

"I think the guy really cares for you, babe. I do. Otherwise he wouldn't be flying in to see you for a few days here and there. If you want to know if anything else is going on, you need to ask him."

"You're not the first person to tell me that," I said, sighing. Rubbing my temples, I told her a little about Kate giving me the same speech.

"She sounds like someone I'd like." She looked up from her food and gave me a smirk.

"Yeah, you two would get along great. It's cool how quickly we took to each other, ya know? She's not, you, of course, but she's nice and funny."

Rose smiled at me. "Makes me jealous, I've really missed spending time with you. This feels good, you know, girlfriend time."

"Yeah." I smiled at her. "I know what you mean."

Her voice then took on a somewhat serious tone. "I know you have a lot on your plate at the moment, and you like to keep things close to your chest, but call me if you need me. I am here for you, regardless of anything."

"I know that Rose."

Later, as I packed up my things to go home, I realized that spending time with my closest friends always made me feel grounded. Regardless of where I was in my life, they always told me the truth, held my hand if it was necessary and let me know how much I was loved.

-o—(_)—o—

At Home in Los Angeles

When I got home at the end of the week with Rose, I had to repack for a short trip to Atlanta before the Labor Day weekend. In the midst of folding my second load of laundry, my phone rang, startling me from my thoughts. I looked at my phone: Edward.

"Hey." I said. My grin felt like it was going to split my face.

"Hi, did you make it home okay?"

"Yep, no problem. My butt is still sore from riding. Plus, sitting for three hours scrunched up in a seat in coach didn't help."

"Riding. Dare I ask?"

"Dude. Horseback riding?"

He chuckled. "I know. You two have fun?"

"We had a blast. It was freaking fantastic to see her after so long. I really got used to her not being here and didn't realize how much I'd missed her. "

"I had a good time too, especially with you there."

My stomach flipped a little. So far, so good—he wasn't acting any differently than what I considered normal for us, and he'd mentioned liking having me there to boot. I relaxed a little, earlier thoughts that it wasn't me that was his problem feeling more and more on target.

I couldn't wait and had to ask, "So, what day do you want me to meet you in Anchorage?"

He paused for a moment, "About that…"

My stomach sank. His tone had lost that happy quality of just a few seconds before. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, bracing myself. Here it comes.

"…I won't be able to go that weekend because they moved some of the training around and I had to rework my flying schedule to accommodate the change."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say.

Disappointment didn't even begin to cover it. At least it was a valid reason, though. Work and reserves were important in his life, and I understood that. If it had been some bullshit excuse...

I stood there for a minute trying to recover my voice and attempt to not sound like a whiny girlfriend.

"You still there?"

"Yeah, just, uh, folding laundry." I scrunched my eyes closed again. Stupid answer.

"I'm really sorry, Bella."

"It's okay. Not a whole bunch you can do to change it." I grabbed another t-shirt to fold.

"I promise after this month, we'll make plans to go up there. I really want to spend time with you alone—to talk."

I noticed that I had attempted to fold that same t-shirt three times. I threw it on the bed and reached up to run my hand through my hair. I didn't know if I liked the sound of a talk or not, but did the best I could to not stress it. It could very well be a good talk, after all.

"Hey, whatever works. Just let me know."

"I will, definitely. Okay, look, I have to go get repacked for my next trip. I'll talk to you later?" he said, his voice sounding hopeful.

"Sure. I'll talk to you soon, bye." My lips formed into a tight grin, not that he could see it...or would for a while.

"Bye, Bella."

I turned around and sat down heavily on the bed. I chastised myself for letting myself get so involved and so worked up over every little thing that he did or said. There was a lot I didn't know about Major Cullen and I was sure I'd find out in time.

I knew I shouldn't rush things. Just because I'd realized how into him I was didn't mean I needed to analyze every mood or frown of his.

For now, I needed to regroup and concentrate on me. School was starting soon and I'd have to juggle it with my work schedule. Being neurotic certainly wouldn't help me any if I was only overreacting, anyway.

-o—(_)—o-

Over the next few weeks, Edward and I spoke only intermittently, but I knew he was busy with his annual Reserve training. Some of his mood had seemed to dissipate, though, which eased my mind some. He was back to trying to make me laugh and sending me silly emails in his spare time that cracked me up. Taking advantage of the time, I flew a few trips prior to the start of school and was actually looking forward to taking a full load again this quarter. Enough of the moping about.

As I got back into the rhythm of school, I pined less over not seeing Edward. Professor Banner was pleased to see that I had found my voice in my writing again. He commented on how cohesive my arguments and thoughts were in my papers—a sure sign that I was okay.

One evening during the second week of October, Edward called to see how school was going. His voice sounded tired and drained.

"You sound so tired. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just haven't been home, like, at all. I haven't unpacked in over a month and it's wearing on me a little."

"Ugh, been there. It's a little wearing at times. I'm sorry, though. Wish I could make it better."

"Speaking of. About our weekend in Anchorage..."

I tensed up a bit, but told myself to stop. I couldn't—wouldn't—let myself get worked up about this again.

"Since I had to cancel on you last time, I really want to make this up to you with a full-blown weekend together at the cabin. Think about it: a long weekend, you and me, just hanging out. I'll take care of everything."

I sighed to myself. What if I said yes, and then he cancelled again?

"C'mon, please? I really miss hanging out with you, B." He paused. "I need to see you."

And that pretty much did it. Any attempt at being detached was out the window. My heart started thumping so loud in my chest I thought he'd be able to hear it over the phone. I sat there for a moment, trying to formulate something—anything—intelligible.

I rolled my eyes at my own ridiculousness while forcing out a neutral tone. "For sure. I'd love to meet you at the cabin. When?"

When he spoke again he sounded relieved. "How about the last weekend, right before Halloween? Unless you have plans..."

"Nope. No plans at the moment."

"Good. I'm really looking forward to it. And remember, I'll take care of everything."

"You always do," I said quietly.

We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone, placing it on the bed. Though my heart wanted me to start dancing in place right there, I told myself to not get my hopes up. I didn't know if I could take the disappointment again.

-o—(_)—o—

Destination: New York City

The next few weeks went slower than I anticipated. Edward had called a few times and assured me that come 'hell or high water', the weekend in Anchorage was going to happen.

In the meantime, Sam and I had planned to work a trip to New York at the end of the month so we could catch a show on Broadway. We scheduled it so when we got into Los Angeles, I could turn around head directly north to Alaska.

Sam was obviously excited. The day of the trip, before I'd even had time to make it to the airport, he texted me three times.

Did you bring nice clothes? All black works

Did you pack walking shoes?

I cannot wait to see you! *mwah*

I laughed at the last one. He always seemed so worried about me—and had a weird penchant for making sure I had decent clothes.

When I made it to the flight attendant lounge, I opened the door to head in and sign in for the trip. I felt a tug on my bag before I was pulled me back out into the hallway.

"What the hell?" I looked up, about to give whoever was interloping on my personal space a piece of my mind...or a good shot to the nose. "Sam?"

"Mayday. Just wanted you to know that Barbie and Skipper are on our trip."

"So, I don't know either of them. It really doesn't matter to me if they're on the trip."

"Lemme put it this way, then: you don't want to work with either one of them."

"Don't be ridiculous, dork. We all do the same service. Nothing ever changes besides who you're serving on the airplane."

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I gave him the look right back—there was no way he was going to win this one. I refused to judge someone until I had more information. I could see the wheels turn as he tried to change his tactic.

"Just work with me in the back. I know Tanya only works business or First Class and her side-kick goes where she goes. I personally don't want to spend time with either of them."

"Okay." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

I really didn't care where I worked. I just wanted to get to New York, hang out with Sam a bit and then get back home so I could head to Anchorage to meet up with Edward. I didn't bother telling Sam what my plans were, as I didn't want the third degree, nor did I want anyone else on the flight staff knowing any of my business.

When the crew got together for our pre-flight meeting, I noticed Sam and Lauren giving each other the stink-eye and I tried to stifle my laughter as best I could. I didn't know why Sam was being a complete idiot about Tanya. She seemed nice, polite, and very organized. As Sam predicted, she asked to work Business Class the entire trip. Of course, Lauren followed suit. The rest of the crew didn't seem to care.

Lauren snatched the passenger manifest out of the Purser's hand because she wanted to look and see what movie stars would be on board.

"Oh yeah," she said, nodding her head as she scanned the list.

Apparently there was a Baldwin, some gal from Access Hollywood, an ESPN sportscaster and Andy Dick. That in itself made me glad I wasn't up there.

The full flight to New York ran smoothly and went by quickly. I loved working with Sam because the entertainment was non-stop. The best part of was watching Sam and Lauren dance around each other as the flight wore on, taking jabs at each other. It didn't happen often that crew members disliked each other, but when it did, everybody knew to steer clear.

I was standing in the middle galley reading a gossip rag while the movie played. Lauren cruised through, probably to stir up trouble, or to seek out Sam. As she went down one aisle, he came up from the other aisle behind me and poked my back.

I grabbed the counter and spun around. "Holy crap! You scared me!"

"It's my catlike reflexes, sweetie, I can't help it. Is that troll still trying to track me down?"

"I'm thinking she wants some verbal sparring with you tonight. It gets her all worked up," I said, cracking up at my own joke.

"Oh, God. Don't even give me a visual for that. Where's an airsick bag? I need it now."

I giggled. "Okay, Drama Queen." As soon as I finished speaking, Lauren turned the corner.

"There you are," she huffed.

"What? We don't have any liquid facelift here," he said, taunting her.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Tanya asked me to tell you to quit taking our beer. We need it for our passengers."

"Do we do everything Tanya tells us to do?" Sam said slowly, letting a think hint of snide leak into his tone.

Lauren got flustered then. "No, I don't do everything she asks. I just think it's rude to take our stuff, we have a very particular way we set up our service."

"Honey, this is one big happy airline and I'm pretty sure there's plenty to go around. Besides, they probably need hard liquor up there to take the likes of you."

"You're an ass!" she whispered.

"And you need your eyebrows done, not all men like bush."

Lauren gaped at him for a minute, seething, and muttered, "Creep."

Sam just continued to smile.

My head moved back and forth like I was watching a tennis match. I took my cue and left to check on the passengers.

-o-(_)-o-

Arrival: New York City

Traffic in the city was so heavy that our van ride to the hotel took over an hour. As soon as we got to the hotel and received our room assignments, everyone scattered like flies. When you laid over in New York, you always had plans.

Sam and I changed and took off to see what show we could catch. We sprinted down to TKTS in Times Square to see what was still available. Being the middle of the week, we lucked out and found a couple of tickets to a big Broadway musical; Sam knew the words to every song. When the show let out, we stopped by one of the all-night delis to pick up some munchies before heading back to our rooms.

Early the next morning, Sam and I met in the lobby so we could get bagels and coffee from another of our favorite delis. His posture was tense, weird. He stood there clutching his messenger bag and scanned the room.

"Ready?" I said.

"Yes, let's go," he said rushing through the turnstile.

We walked several blocks to a little place not far from our hotel. For some reason, Sam seemed off to me. He was being more overdramatic than normal, as if that was even possible.

After grabbing our food and drinks, we found a small table near the window where we could camp out.

"Sam. What's up with you? You've been weird this whole trip. First with the Tanya/Lauren thing, then this morning at the hotel and now you look like you have to pee."

Sam let out a big huff. "I'm stressed out! Okay?"

"Why? What's going on? Did you and your new thang break up?"

"No. It's worse." He squirmed. He fiddled with his bagel and took a sip of coffee. He turned to look around the deli as if someone was watching him.

"Good Lord, what's with you?"

Sam looked at me and reached into his messenger bag, pulling out a copy of 'Denver Magazine'.

"I found this on my last trip. One of the passengers left it on the plane. I didn't look at it until last night when I was bored though."

I rolled my eyes, wondering what drama he was into this time. He concentrated while he thumbed through it until he found what he wanted. He turned the magazine as he passed it over the table to me. I glanced at the headline.

Night Sparks Gala at Coors Field, April 20th

I read the blurb under the title of the article. "So? It's an organization that helps people with cancer resources…And?"

"Look at the picture at the bottom." He sat back and bit his lower lip.

I frowned at him, not quite sure what to make of his odd behavior. I looked back down at the magazine in my hand. As my eyes moved down the page, I noticed several pictures of the gala attendees.

Some of the pictures had people young and old dancing in their finest. A picture at the bottom caught my attention. Tanya, decked out in a red beaded cocktail dress that made her legs look as if they went on for miles, was smiling up at me. She looked absolutely gorgeous, face lit up, hair perfect. She was holding onto to the arm of a man in a blue suit.

My stomach twisted, the bagel turning into stone in the pit of my stomach. No. No freaking way.

The arm she was holding onto belonged to Edward.

-o-(_)-o-


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Confusion on the iPod:

Open Up Your Eyes – Tonic

Melt My Heart to Stone – Adele