Wow, so, I'm a slow ass. Actually I've been having some computer problems, as those of you who read RtS know. But after some extensive doctoring, hopefully it's gonna survive a little longer for me. So, updates should be coming out not so slowly lol. In fact you may have Chapter 10 to read as early as tomorrow because about 90% of it is already written. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews! Hope you enjoy this. It's a bit short though. Sorry :(

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII.

Chapter IV

"Come on, boys, move your asses!" drill officer Vargas shouted. He had been the one to replace Officer Sigg. He wasn't much different in his ability to scream but there was a definite difference in how he treated the cadets. There was more of an ease now on the field in the mornings. The cadets needed it. It was cold enough in the mornings now that they already had a hard time forcing themselves outside without having something else as a de-motivator.

"Dorm Challenge is next week! So you better be ready to impress!" Vargas called out.

It was Saturday. A big day as far as the cadets were concerned. They weren't thinking of the Dorm Challenge, or anything else for that matter. Nothing other than the fact that at noon they were going to be free to leave the campus for the first time since Thanksgiving. Lou had been well informed when he'd claimed they were getting off-site recreation time. It had been announced Friday morning and that's all anyone had been able to think about since. Being at the Academy had been like being on an island. And island of rules, limitations, and "slim pickings in terms of food" as Lou had said once. They'd missed out on a lot of the things they'd enjoyed before becoming cadets. And now they were going to have four whole hours to make up for that.

It wouldn't be the only weekend they'd have those special recreation hours. They were told they would be granted four hours every other Saturday to explore as they wished anywhere off-campus within a thirty-mile radius. For some, they were able to visit their families as their homes were located within that circle of free-range. Cloud wished he were one of them. Not for his own benefit, but rather for his mother's. She missed him a lot, and after he'd gotten hurt during his exam he could tell when he spoke to her that she wanted desperately to say those words she was holding back. Come home.

He assured her he was fine and told her not to worry because he'd be seeing her soon enough. He knew that, provided he passed the Initiate Program, he would be given three weeks in July to spend at home before returning in August to begin his training in SOLDIER. He wasn't planning on returning to Nibelheim in December for Christmas holidays. He was too determined to use the time to train. First semester final exams would be at the beginning of February.

"Alright! Bring it in, gentlemen!" Vargas ordered and the cadets moved away from the obstacle course that had been set up to stand in a semi-circle around the driller. Something else that was different from when they'd had Sigg as their driller. He always had them line up and stand at attention for closing remarks. Vargas preferred they stand at ease and in a way that they'd all be able to see him while he spoke. "Good work, this morning. Still, you gotta step it up if you wanna kick ass next week, got it?!"

"Yes, sir!" the sweating and panting group answered.

"Okay, good," Vargas said as he looked at his watch. "You got a few hours before your rec time begins so go get yourselves cleaned up and make the most of your time. Have fun and I'll see you back here tomorrow morning."

As the cadets began to depart, Vargas stopped Cloud. Cloud knew what it would be about before the man spoke. The driller had been informed of Cloud's recent injuries a few days prior. "Strife, you've been keeping up pretty well the last few days," he commented.

"Yes, sir," he replied with a firm nod.

"How's your leg been?" the drilled questioned then.

"Fine, sir," he answered surely. He was lying just a little. It had been throbbing for the past half hour but he'd paid it no mind. He was scheduled for a session of ultrasound therapy in about forty minutes anyway.

"You know, while it is important to participate in the Dorm Challenge, it's not an essential requirement in the program. It's not necessary that you participate next week."

Cloud half-smiled a little. "Thank you, sir, but I'd rather participate," he said softly. The driller gave a tight smile back.

"Alright," he said with a soft, barely noticeable sigh. "See you tomorrow," he added and Cloud nodded once again before turning and making his way to the locker room.

"Hey," Paul greeted when Cloud entered the one area he, Paul, and Johnny typically changed in. "What was that about?" Paul asked.

"Nothing," Cloud answered quietly as he pulled his sweater off. "Just wanted to let me know if I didn't want to participate in the Challenge next week I don't have to."

"'Cause of—"

"Yeah," Cloud cut him off. He was tired of talking about his damn injury. He hated any amount of special treatment or references to it he got. Almost as much as he hated the fact that it had affected his performance. Sometimes he was even able to forget about it. Just long enough to be reminded when he had to make another trip to the Rehabilitation and Well-Being Facility for a therapy session.

That morning, he lay on the padded table while the physiotherapist was massaging the back of his thigh with the probe on the ultrasound machine. Cloud's mind raced over the thought that he'd be going out into the city. He'd never had a chance to explore any of Midgar the day he'd arrived. It would be the first time he'd ever been out and around in a city. Nibelheim had been his constant environment until the day he'd left. He was a little nervous because of that.

Nervous or not, he couldn't help feeling anxious to get outside as he made his way back to the dorm. He still had about an hour to kill before noon. The dorm was filled with the air of excitement. He approached his bunk, seeing Paul with one of his text books out.

"I'm surprised you're able to study right now," he remarked as he moved in between the bunks and sat on the edge of his own. Paul looked up and smirked.

"Who says I am?" he said with a short laugh. "I've been trying. But it's pretty near impossible." He sat up and closed the book. "This waiting around is killing me! I just wanna go!" he added excitedly. Cloud laughed a little in response before pulling his legs onto his bunk and lying himself down with his hands behind his head. "What's the first thing you want to do when you get out there?" Paul asked then. Cloud thought about it briefly.

"I dunno," he replied simply though he sort of wished he had a camera that he could take pictures with to send back to his mother.

"Well I do," Paul countered. "I want a Caramel Pebble bar."

"A what?" Cloud inquired.

"Only the best candy bar ever! Duh!" Paul spurted enthusiastically.

"A what?" Cloud repeated with a straight face. Paul looked at him with a shocked and worried expression.

"You're kidding," he said and Cloud smirked, revealing that he was in fact joking.

"Thank God," Paul said with relief.

When the time finally came and the clocks struck noon, the cadets poured out of the housing facility and outside into the brisk November air. They rushed for the city streets, eager to get to all the things they'd been dreaming about. Cloud felt like he as well as any other small town boys who'd never set foot in a city before would experience the day out much differently than the others. He felt his like his senses were becoming overloaded with things he'd never seen, heard, or smelt before. Paul was from a town not far from Midgar so he'd been able to visit the city frequently.

As they headed down one of the main streets, Cloud had to remind himself to keep walking as every time he passed something he'd never seen he had the urge to stop and stare. There was such a variety of people out there. Rich and poor intermingled. Everyone from Nibelheim was of roughly the same status. Though there were the few that seemed to have a bit more, like Tifa's family. Or those with a little less, like his. But it was never a drastic contrast. Not like here. Seeing a truly homeless person was a bit of a shock to him.

"Come on, Cloud!" Paul had to keep calling to him, reminding him to hurry up.

They turned onto a street filled with the scents of various foods. Cloud was suddenly very aware of his hunger.

"That sushi is all mine," Paul said as he pointed across the street to the restaurant he had his eye on. He must have eaten there before because he had some particular knowledge about the place, explaining to Cloud that the fish was brought in fresh from the coast twice a day. "You in?" he questioned and Cloud agreed.

Cloud had never really had good sushi before. The stuff offered in Nibelheim was usually a day or so old at best, having been packed on ice and frozen ahead of time. He was aware of the obvious difference in the stuff he was eating now.

Ten minutes after leaving the restaurant, they passed a large building that had Cloud stopping and staring. The way he was looking at it must have indicating something pretty obvious because Paul was looking at him in surprise.

"Oh please tell me you've been to a movie theatre before, Cloud," he said with exaggerated dread in his tone.

"My hometown didn't have one," he said with a slight shrug. Paul stared at him a moment with his mouth open. He grabbed Cloud's arm suddenly and started dragging him up the steps of the theatre.

"Let me introduce you to one of the greatest things on the planet," he said happily as he pulled Cloud with him to the back of one of the lines. "The big screen!"

Cloud hadn't really taken the term 'big' to mean BIG. He was shocked to find himself seated in front of a screen that was easily a hundred times the size of any of the television screens he'd seen before. He was almost too consumed with trying to figure out the inner workings of the place that he barely managed to keep track of what the movie was about.

Once outside again, Paul had to ask. "Just where the hell are you from anyway?" he questioned. "I just realized you've never said the name of it. That would be because Cloud hadn't wanted to be judged by where he was from.

"You probably wouldn't even know it," he replied evasively.

"Try me! I'm a bit of a geography buff," Paul admitted without trying to sound too proud.

"Uh…Nibelheim," Cloud said through a bit of a groan.

Paul thought for a moment. Just when Cloud thought he was going to accept it as another small town he'd never heard of…

"Hey! There's a reactor there!" he spouted.

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed with a nod.

"Wow, were you guys rich or what?"

Cloud looked at him. "It's not our reactor," he said in response.

"Yeah but, the town should have been reimbursed for it," Paul pointed out.

Cloud didn't really know much about that. The reactor had been there since he could remember and he'd never heard of anyone getting rich because of it. Paul just sighed and shook his head.

"What time is it?" he questioned and Cloud pulled his sleeve back to look at his watch.

"Three thirty-two," he answered somewhat sadly. The movie had taken a lot of their time. Not that either of them were sorry about it. They'd have other days to wander anyway.

"Aww…guess we better start heading back," Paul said.

They began their walk back after Paul had bought a few of the candy bars he'd wanted. They were just leaving the sector on their way back to the Academy when they were stopped.

"Excuse me!" a voice called out from behind them. They both turned to see a girl coming towards them. She had dark hair and eyes and seemed to be around the same age as them.

"You're Academy recruits aren't you?" she questioned as she stopped in front of them.

"Sure are," Paul replied with a bright smile.

"Do either of you know a guy named John Brooke?" she inquired next. Paul and Cloud exchanged a look, both shrugging and shaking their heads, though suspicion was creeping up inside Cloud.

"Don't think so," Paul added. The girl reached into her bag hanging over her shoulder and pulled out a wallet.

"Are you sure?" she asked as she rummaged for a moment. "This is what he looks like," she said as she pulled out a picture from one of the wallet's sleeves and showed it to them. Even though the photo was a few years old they both recognized it to be a picture of Johnny.

"Oh yeah," Paul spoke then. "Yeah we know him, don't we, Cloud" he confirmed. Cloud nodded.

The girl shoved the picture back in her wallet and slipped it back into her bag before pulling something else out. It was an envelope. "Can one of you give this to him?" she asked, holding it out for one of them to take. "It's important."

"Uh…sure," Paul agreed as he took the envelope from her. "But you can give it to him yourself, ya know, there's visiting hours at the Academy."

"I don't wanna see him. And I doubt he wants to see me," she claimed fast, readjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder.

"Okay well, we'll make sure he gets it," Paul assured her.

"Thanks," she said with a nod before turning away to leave.

They watched after her a few moments before beginning their way back to the campus.

"Well, guess we know what Johnny's real name is now," Paul commented.

"What do you think it's about?" Cloud asked as he looked down at the envelope in Paul's hand.

"I dunno," he replied before halting in his tracks suddenly and pulling the flap of the envelope open.

"What are you doing?" Cloud blurted in surprise.

"What does it look like?" Paul retorted. He looked up at Cloud and smiled. "Relax. I doubt Johnny will care. Besides, the envelope's not glued shut, he wouldn't know anyway."

Cloud looked away, glancing around nervously as Paul began to read the letter that had been tucked away inside the little white envelope.

"Oh my god…" he muttered after a brief moment of silence. There was dread in his tone.

"What? What is it?" Cloud asked before stepping closer to Paul so he could see what he was reading. Even though he felt somewhat guilty about it, he still allowed himself to scan the page.

Johnny,

There's no easy way to say this. Jamie's dead. He passed away in the hospital three weeks ago. Your mom didn't want to tell you because she didn't want you to freak out and fail your exams. I'm sorry. Please don't do anything stupid because of this.

Sophie.

"Oh my God," Cloud repeated Paul's words as he finished reading.

"Well it's a good flippin' thing they didn't tell him before because he is going to freak out," Paul stated as he continued to stare at the letter.

"You think it's a good thing they've lied to him for three weeks about this?" Cloud asked skeptically.

"Well…I'm just saying I can understand why his mom wanted to wait until his exams were over," he clarified.

"But exams were over two weeks ago. Why wouldn't his mom just call him then?" Cloud retorted. Paul shrugged. "I bet they were going to put it off as long as possible. That girl probably wasn't even supposed to say anything…"

Paul sighed. "What are we gonna do?" he wondered aloud.

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked with slight confusion. He kind of sensed where Paul was headed. "We can't not give him the letter, Paul," he stated firmly.

"Yeah I know," Paul said lowly. "This is really gonna suck," he added as he returned the letter to its envelope and continued toward the campus with Cloud following.

They began their search for Johnny when they reached the grounds. They suspected he was still busy doing probation work. It took a half hour to track him down. They found him in the courtyard covering some of the small shrubs and bushes with burlap, preparing them for the approaching winter.

"Oh man," Paul said with another long foreboding sigh before approaching his bunkmate. "Hey," he greeted as he and Cloud came up behind him. Johnny looked back at them before turning his attention back to the roll of twine he was using to secure a sheet of burlap around one of the shrubs.

"Hey," he responded tonelessly.

"There's something we need to talk about…" Paul said uneasily.

"Can it wait?" Johnny questioned. "I'm not supposed to be talking to anyone while I'm working."

Paul looked at Cloud who shook his head. "Uh. I don't think so," Paul denied reluctantly. "And you'd probably be pissed if I let you wait 'till later to find out."

Johnny looked at him then. "Find out what?" he asked sharply. His eyes shifted to Cloud before moving back to Paul.

"Someone stopped us on the street today. A girl. She wanted us to give you this letter," Paul explained, raising his hand from his side to reveal the envelope he was still holding. Johnny looked at it but didn't move from where he was kneeling on one knee on the ground, the roll of twine in his one hand, a pair of scissors in his other one.

"It's about your brother," Cloud spoke up uneasily. Johnny's gaze went back to him. In an instant, Cloud could tell Johnny knew his brother was dead. Maybe he'd already known it. Sensed it somehow and had tried to deny it. There were tears building in his dark eyes as he set down the items in his hands and came to a slow stand.

"Give it to me," he said firmly as he looked back at the letter in Paul's hand.

"Can you just promise first that you're not going to flip out and do something that will get you in a lot of trouble?" Paul asked quickly as he withheld the letter in his possession.

"Just give me the letter," Johnny demanded, his voice shaking as the first tears broke away from his eyes and began trailing his cheeks. Paul submitted reluctantly, extending the envelope to Johnny, who snatched it quickly. He opened it hastily, tearing it slightly as he retrieved the piece of paper folded inside. He held it in his trembling hands as he read it, Paul and Cloud watching him awkwardly and with dread.

The letter told Johnny what he had already suspected to be true and yet he still read it over and over, trying to get more out of it. More information, an explanation, anything. He sank to his knees on the grass once again.

"I'm so sorry, Johnny," Paul said sympathetically as he crouched next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. It took a moment before Johnny made any more movements. He started to stand fast and Paul followed, grabbing onto his arm. "Wait! Where are you going?" he questioned. Without answering, Johnny yanked his arm away from him. It seemed he'd decided he had someplace to be and wasn't going to be stopped. Still Paul tried, taking hold of him once more before Johnny shoved him away. Cloud and Paul watched as Johnny disappeared from the courtyard filled with anger and hurt.

000

Dinner time came and went. Cloud and Paul were in no hurry to leave the cafeteria. They sat in near silence, very aware of how empty the chair next to Paul where Johnny would usually sit was. Cloud could see Tanner coming across the room behind Paul. He rose from his chair and Paul looked at him with slight confusion.

"Tousa," the dorm officer called and Paul stumbled to get to his feet.

"Yes, sir," he answered the officer quickly.

"You have any idea where the hell your bunkmate is?" Tanner questioned, not wasting anytime.

"Uh, no…sir," Paul said uneasily, not sure if he should say something about what had happened a little earlier.

"Well he better have a damn good reason for skipping out early on his probation work or he's out! You can tell him that if you see him," the officer said in annoyance before departing.

Paul and Cloud looked at each other.

"I think I'm gonna go train for awhile," Cloud said quietly then. He needed something to occupy himself. Paul nodded and told him he was going to try looking around for Johnny. Cloud never expected he'd be the one to find him first. He entered the locker rooms outside one of the fitness rooms and there sitting on the floor, his back against the edge of one of the benches was Johnny. He didn't even seem to notice Cloud was there at first. A heavy silence blanketed the room. Johnny was the first to speak, unexpectedly.

"We were twins, you know," he said without looking up. Cloud lowered himself slowly to the bench across from him. "Growing up, we were inseparable. But we were different. He was the good one. The happy one. The ambitious one." There was a long pause before Johnny added "The favorite." He lowered his head a moment as he struggled to get ahead of his emotions again. "It was his dream to be in SOLDIER. Not mine. But he made me promise to sign up with him and try for a spot in the ranks. I always thought he'd just forget about it but he didn't. This past summer he tracked me down and wanted to let me know he was being sent out of town for radiation therapy. He was starting to get really sick then and he asked me to join for him. I told him I would. I figured it's the least I could do for leaving him behind when I ran away from home."

Cloud hesitated on speaking but he worked up the nerve and proceeded finally. "Were things at home…hard like they were for you?"

"No…" Johnny replied quietly. "And it wasn't hard for me either, until Jay got diagnosed. My parents were upset. Because he was the favorite and the one with the future and he got cancer. He got cancer and I didn't," he said angrily. "And things just…fell apart."

Cloud watched him uneasily, feeling bad but not knowing if there was anything he could say or do.

"And now he's gone…" Johnny added quietly.

"I'm sorry, Johnny," Cloud said sympathetically. He wished he could relate in some way to Johnny but he'd never lost anyone he really cared about.

"Could you leave," Johnny spoke then. His voice was level. Cloud stared at him, hesitant on complying. He may not have ever lost someone before but he knew as well as anyone that leaving a person when they had experienced something that distressing wasn't among the greatest ideas. "Please," Johnny insisted.

Cloud stood slowly. "Are you going to be in the dorm later?" he asked tentatively.

Cloud couldn't be positive but it sounded like Johnny had said "Yeah." But it was uttered very quietly. Still, he chose to be reassured by it. Even though every part of him knew there was no way Johnny would be coming to the dorm that night.