Bessie sat at her dining room table much like her sister had the day before. Only instead of school materials Bessie was surrounded by items indicating it must be the first of the month: spreadsheets, coupon clippings, checkbook, and calculator. Bessie was accustomed to working diligently to make the most of every penny. Lately, despite her efforts, the numbers in the balance column all had a minus sign in front of them. She quietly punched in numbers on her calculator. None of them gave her the results she was hoping for. Bessie sighed recognizing that the Potters would not have a working phone for yet another month. A soft smile crept across her face at the memory of what happened the last time they hadn't been able to pay the phone bill … Alexander had been born in the Leery house that day. She had swallowed her pride and allowed a disapproving Evelyn Ryan deliver her son.
From that day forward, she and Joey had both become more willing to ask for and accept help. They knew that having an infant in their household meant his needs came before concerns of their dignity. Bessie's concentration turned to the energy bill in front of her. She shook her head in acknowledgment that she would have to contact The Salvation Army again this month in order to keep the power on. Bessie picked up her pen to write herself a reminder to call them tomorrow. In the process, she saw the note reminding her of her monthly WIC appointment. This was not how Bessie had envisioned her life – not only accepting, but seeking help from strangers. Nevertheless, she felt terrible about the fight she and Joey had.
Bessie loved her little sister so much it hurt sometimes. She identified Joey's potential as limitless, if only she had been born into another family. If only, Joey didn't have to work before school, after school, and on the weekends. It was all in an effort to contribute to a family that struggled to provide her with the most basic necessities. Bessie didn't truly wish Joey was born to someone else, but her failure to provide for her made her feel horribly inadequate. Sometimes Bessie felt so quintessentially Capeside, which occasionally led to resentment toward her sister who was destined for great things. Great things that were outside of this small Massachusetts town that was all Bessie had ever known.
She leaned back in her chair and began rubbing her neck in an attempt to release the tension that had been building there. After their mother died and their father went to prison, Bessie had not hesitated to become Joey's primary caregiver. She never considered allowing her to become a ward of the state. Never thought of contacting extended family that may provide kinship foster care. Bessie had resolved to care for Joey in the only home either of them had ever known. Their mother's presence was palpable in every room, and especially by the creek. While Bessie was clearly a kind and giving person, taking care of her sister was not an entirely selfless endeavor. Bessie hadn't been able to save her mother from the physical and spiritual pain caused by cancer. What she could do was promise to take care of Lily Potter's youngest daughter; the daughter whose essence was so similar to their mother's.
Bessie began organizing the pile of coupons she had created earlier. Her mind turned to yesterday. She had told her sister that nothing was keeping her here, but she hadn't meant it. The truth was that as much as Bessie wanted Joey to achieve her dreams, the idea of her leaving the creek also made her sad. Selfishly, Bessie relished the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the mother she missed so much just by looking in her sister's eyes. They both possessed the deep, soulful eyes of an artist. Bessie thought of the worst part of yesterday's argument; she had attacked Joey about her art. She was sometimes jealous of the many qualities that Joey possessed that were so present in their mother, while she felt devoid of her traits. Most days Bessie was proud of Joey's resemblance, but she was prone to envy on days like yesterday when she felt she was disappointing her mother. With that unpleasant thought, Bessie decided to stop staring at her checkbook; she couldn't miraculously make money appear in her account.
A quick glance at the clock alerted Bessie that Joey would soon be entering the kitchen to grab breakfast before school. The two hadn't talked since the argument yesterday. Bessie had been tending to Alexander when Joey returned home. She assumed that Joey rowed their boat across the creek to share her frustrations with Dawson. Bessie knew there had been distance the two old friends recently, but surely Joey would still seek refuge at the Leery's. Bessie also knew that old habits die-hard. She had decided to make Joey breakfast in an act of reconciliation. She stood up to retrieve eggs, toast, and sausage from the refrigerator.
Being the older sister was not always easy. Bessie recognized that Joey romanticized her childhood, but she didn't blame her. Their mother was alive then, so nothing else mattered. Having been robbed of a mother and a father, Joey was already much more disillusioned than any 16 year-old deserved. Bessie refused to contribute to any additional suffering, which is why she hated it when they fought. Sometimes Bessie found it lonely to be the only person who remembered the ugly parts of their life before. Bessie remembered their father's infidelity; she saw the sadness and defeat in her mother's eyes when she could no longer pretend it wasn't happening. Bessie knew that most of the memories Joey had of fun times with their father happened because he was high. She also knew that the "friends" that hung around with their father were not friends at all, but rather paying customers, or loiterers waiting around to "test the merchandise." Bessie refused to falter by confessing to Joey about the times that their mother snapped at her when she was just 10 years old because an infant Joey wouldn't stop crying and her husband was nowhere to be found. Yes, Joey held a romanticized version of her childhood, which was just how Bessie wanted it to be.
Bessie was awoken from her thoughts by the distinct sounds of Joey in the bathroom. She was buttering the toast when Joey entered the kitchen. "Oh, hey Bessie. I didn't think you'd be up," Joey said sheepishly. Bessie smiled warmly at her sister and placed a plate of food on the table.
"Yes, I wanted to make you breakfast," Bessie responded hopefully. "Listen, Joey. I'm sorry I was so harsh with you yesterday. I'm just really stressed out with all of this money stuff, but I really shouldn't have taken it out on you," she continued in earnest.
Joey walked to the refrigerator to pour two glasses of orange juice. "I know, Bess. I'm sorry too," she began. "I shouldn't have snapped at you. I do want to leave Capeside, but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful for everything you've done for me," she added.
"I know, Jo. You are going to do such great things." Bessie looked into her sister's eyes willing her to believe her words. She brushed a piece of hair behind Joey's ear; the way their mother had done so many times. "I'm really sorry for what I said about your art supplies. That wasn't fair of me," Bessie offered.
"You have her smile, you know," Joey said knowingly. Bessie looked at her in confusion. "When you smile at me, I see mom. You have the best smile, Bessie," Joey said with sincerity. "I know this life has hardened you and you think it must show all over your face. But your smile," Joey paused to ensure she was listening. "It's so warm and inviting. It's part of how I know you're going to make this B&B a success. Because let's face it, I've never been accused of being the charming sister."
Bessie allowed the edges of her mouth to continue to creep upward into the broadest smile she'd had in weeks. "Thanks, Joey. Some days I think we'll be a success too," she said with a sigh of relief. "How about I'll try to believe in myself like you believe in me and you do the same? Deal?"
"I suppose I can do that," Joey agreed with a small smile. "But don't go thinking this means I'm suddenly some painfully optimistic, happy-go-lucky, follow the yellow brick road kind of person."
"What? And change my cynical, angst-ridden, worrywart of a sister? Never!" Both sisters laughed at the idea of Joey somehow skipping along through life. Bessie began eating her breakfast and passed Joey the syrup. "Where'd you go last night anyway?" Bessie asked as she dipped her sausage in the syrup on her plate.
"Oh, no where. I ended up at the yard with Pacey. He suggested I store my supplies with True Love. Apparently he wants me to sketch more too," Joey responded trying to conceal the delight she felt in having another person seemingly believe in her.
"Pacey, huh?" Bessie asked with a knowing grin.
"Yeah, so?" Joey asked with irritation. She looked down at the yolk she had just released onto her plate.
"Nothing. He just seems to be the source of a lot of things lately," Bessie said easily. Without looking at her sister, Joey placed a bite of sausage in her mouth.
As if on cue, Pacey arrived on their doorstep to pick Joey up for school. He entered the kitchen and surveyed the scene. Seeing Joey and Bessie engaged in an apparently pleasant conversation, he asked, "Does this mean my favorite sisters have made up?"
Bessie and Joey both rolled their eyes at him. "Pacey, you do know that you have sisters of your own," Joey stated.
"Yeah, but you guys are actually nice to me," he responded with a shrug. "For instance, you'd never hold me down and mercilessly pull at my leg hairs," he said. "Because, I tell ya, that does not feel good."
"We wouldn't?" Bessie asked with a distinct look of mischief. Pacey stood helplessly between the two sisters. Joey approached him from the other side of the table as Bessie lessened the space between them. Bessie and Joey held up their arms menacingly.
"Hey, c'mon," Pacey said backing away from his attackers. "Seriously, this is supposed to be a calm and pleasant place of refuge," he pleaded. "Watch it, Potter," Pacey said while pointing a finger at Joey. "I will abandon you on the side of the road. You'll never make it to school and all of your irrational fears will come true," he threatened.
"I didn't know you were such a baby, Pacey," Bessie said mockingly. "Since I don't want my sister to go into some sort of downward spiral because you're afraid of a little teasing, we'll call a truce. Just sit down and eat your breakfast."
"Whew," he said grabbing a chair to sit down. "I'm glad to see one of you is a sensible person." With that, Joey grabbed the hair at the back of his head and tugged. "Ouch!"
"Hurry up, ya wimp. Some of us have to get to school," Joey said. Pacey began to quickly consume his breakfast as Joey cleaned up the remains of hers.
"Bessie, Pace and I will watch Alexander tonight," Joey offered.
"We will?" Pacey asked with a mouth full of sausage.
Ignoring Pacey's question, Joey continued, "You should take the night off. Do something fun for yourself." She picked up her backpack and readied herself for another day at Capeside High. "Now, we gotta go," Joey urged as she grabbed Pacey by the collar.
"Hey, Jo?" Bessie asked.
"Yeah, Bess?" Joey responded on her way out the door.
"I love my annoying little sister," she said with her best Lillian Potter-inspired smile.
"Really? What a coincidence … I love my over-bearing older sister," she said with a wave.
