Disclaimer: The Harry Potter and all it's characters belong to J. K. Rowling. The song belongs to Jet.
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
At the moment, a person rotting in hell paled in comparison to me. Every teacher had assigned a ton of homework; it was as if they had forgotten that the students had other classes to work for as well. I was up till late most nights trying to stay on top of my schoolwork. The weather was nasty; the freezing air and wet snow making it impossible for me to run anymore. The lack of exercise and spending all my time with people was starting to get onto my nerves. I would wake up with the others, eat my meals with them, go to class with them, study with them and by the time they were done with their day and me with mine, I was dead on my feet. The only time I got away was the time I spent in the bathroom and there wasn't time to linger in there either. The exhaustion and the feeling of being cooped was wrecking havoc on my ability to maintain my telepathic and empathic blocks, making me even more frustrated. And the fact that it would be my birthday in approximately 10 minutes was the proverbial fly buzzing over a pile of crap.
"I hate studying for the NEWTs. These tyrants are going to kill us with all this schoolwork." Peter moaned as he slammed a reference book shut.
Peter had been moaning about something or the other all evening and the fact that I hadn't said a word testified to my vast treasures of patience. It was nearly one in the morning and now that treasure was spent empty.
"I'm starving and we've missed dinner again. This is not good."
"Peter, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good."
"Alex." Lily chided my softly. "You've been snapping at everything and everyone all week. You have got to stop; they're getting tired of it." Thankfully she was sitting right next to me, so no one else heard her.
"I don't care." I replied, I shot her a quick glance and faked a sickly sweet smile at Peter, who looked stunned.
The fact of the matter was that everyone wasn't tired of me, they were annoyed with me. Frank wasn't talking to me; I had managed to reduce Mandy to tears which had made Alice mad with me. Even James was short with me. Heck, Remus, who had become quite protective of Jenna, had quite nearly yelled at me for the way I was treating her.
"Alex, you have to stop. All week you've been speaking without giving it much thought and I haven't said anything. I understand that you're tired like the rest of us, so I haven't told anyone just how annoying you've been. Care to return the favour?"
Unfortunately for Peter's attempt at getting me to behave reasonably, I was in full form. "That's great Peter, you don't tell anyone I'm annoying and I won't tell anyone that you're a moron." As if on cue, the small alarm clock that was in my bag went off. Happy Birthday to me, I thought bitterly as I gathered all my books and headed up to the dorm. I dumped them on the bed and changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a black turtleneck. I gathered my hair into a messy high ponytail and pulled on my converse. After I was done, I headed back down.
"You're going somewhere?" Remus asked.
"Nope. I was just tired of the comfortable clothes I was wearing." I replied tartly.
I saw his lips thin and irritation flash in his eyes, but I didn't apologize. I just nodded at Lily and walked towards the portrait hole.
"Wait." I froze.
"Lily, whatever you have to say, save it. I'm not interested."
"I just wanted to tell you to take care." I didn't bother hiding the irritation on my face as my eyes flickered back to the others.
"Like I said, I don't want to hear it." I controlled the urge to flinch when I saw the pain in her eyes.
Lily's gaze shifted to the backpack in my hands, "Will I see you in the morning?"
"Unlikely."
"What about the essay that is due tomorrow?"
"I'll hand it to Flitwick when I get back." I checked the clock that sat on the mantelpiece impatiently. "I have to go-"
"When will you get back?"
I rolled my eyes. "I don't know Lily. I don't have an itinerary written."
"Give me your essay. I'll turn it in."
I heard Alice snort. I tilted my head to look at her as I asked, "You want to say something?"
Alice ignored me as she stared at Lily's back. "How can you still be nice to her?"
"Stay out of it Alice." Lily's voice sounded a little scary, even to me.
"No I won't." Alice sounded just as angry. "Aren't we your friends too, Lily? How is it that she can be as rude as she likes with us but we can't even question it, let alone retaliate? I'm so tired of this rubbish and it stops now."
"So what are you saying?" Lily's voice sounded chilly as she turned slowly to face Alice and the others. "You're telling me to choose, is that what you're saying?"
"Maybe I am." Alice lifted her chin defiantly. "Maybe we all are." Mandy added in her small voice. "I can't keep up anymore, Lily. One day she's dumping spaghetti on the head of a girl bullying me and the next she's ridiculing me for the choices I make. It's confusing and I can't make out if she really is my friend or not. Her anger, the mood swings, the unexplained behaviour, I've had enough."
The others didn't notice the slight falling of Lily's shoulders, but my proximity to her ensured that I didn't miss that slight movement.
"You're not going to take the fall for this." I whispered.
"You can keep quiet." Lily told me. I reared back. Anyone with sense would when they heard Lily use that tone.
"Are you then?" Lily asked again. "I need you to be sure."
Alice simply lifted her chin higher, Mandy nodded, Frank said yes out loud along with Peter. I looked at James, Remus and Sirius- what would they say?
"Remus?" The question was evident in Lily's voice.
I saw his amber eyes look at the others and then at Lily and finally met mine over Lily's shoulder. I saw him then look at Jenna, who was sitting there with a fearful expression on her face. That's when I knew. And when he nodded curtly, my chest contracted painfully.
"James?" Lily's voice had lost some of its heat. I guessed what was on her mind. Remus had always been my champion. If he was giving up, then there was no doubt that the others would. "I tried to be supporting Lils. You know I did. But I can't anymore, baby." His hazel eyes were full of pity and sadness.
Fuck, what had I started. "Sir-"
"That's enough." I interrupted her. I knew what I had to do. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it didn't hurt any less. Infact just the thought of it felt like something inside me was dying. "You've fought enough battles for me, Lily and it's time you stop." I forced a mocking laugh. "It was fun to watch in the beginning, but now it's getting old. And boring."
"You might fool them with the whole I-don't-care routine, but I know you better than that."
"Do you?" I asked silkily. "Lily, you know better than most people how easy it is for me to lie, to pretend. Why don't you stop with the whole protective thing and just settle down. In case you didn't notice," I spread my hands out wide, "I'm a big girl now."
"Alex, stop." I heard the tremor in her voice. As did everyone else. James stood up and walked towards her but stopped when Lily held up her hand.
"Stop what? Telling the truth. But isn't that what you want? For me to tell the truth for once? It's all I'm doing, honey. I don't need you anymore." Jesus, why did it hurt so much?
"You don't mean that."
I forced another laugh. "I'm sure that what you want to believe. Lils, we were literally forced together as kids. I made the best out of an awkward, unwanted situation. But it's high time we put an end to this charade, don't you think."
"Charade?" Lily whispered brokenly.
"Aren't you tired? Going to bat for me every single time. You're like a hovering mother hen and I don't need that anymore." I forced myself to meet Lily's piercing gaze, her green eyes darkened with pain and the tears only amplified it. I smiled, "Take care hon. And thanks." I nodded at James who was standing with his hands fisted by his side, his furious gaze met mine. "Take care of her." Please James, take good care of her.
I swiveled around, closing my eyes for a moment to block out the pain that nearly immobilized my body. What had I just done?
Ruined the best thing I had, that I might ever have. But seeing everyone lined up against me, including Remus and James, terrified that Sirius would side with them and realizing that Lily too would have to choose between a relationship with James and our friendship, I knew I had to do this. I'd rather Lily remain with the guy she loved, have uncomplicated friendships with girls and guys who were capable of giving her more than secrets and unexplained behaviour than have her stand by me and turn her back on others as she had done in the past. It was as I said, I was a big girl and it was time I took care of myself.
For the first time in the longest time I felt the tears burn behind my lids and I took a deep, shuddering breath.
"Alex, please." Lily begged. "You can't do this alone." Damn right, I can't. But I can't do it with you either.
"Don't fight this, Lils. Not anymore." I turned around to face her one last time before I left the room and everything that we had once been to each other. The effort it took to keep my voice from breaking was slipping, I had to leave now.
"Happy Birthday." It was the last thing I heard before the portrait slid back into its position.
I leaned against the wall of the portrait, breathing deeply. It was over. In the back of my mind I'd always known it would come down to this. And after everything that had happened in the past week… it was just too much.
I shook myself and pushed away from the wall. Now was not the time for self pity and moaning. The time would come, but for now I had to hold it together.
Numbly, I walked down the corridor and then turned left and right, maybe I even climbed some stairs. When I pushed the door open, I sucked in a breath. The air was freezing and I had forgotten a jacket. I shoved my hands into the pocket of my jeans and walked ahead.
"Found your way, did you?" A voice so cold that made the freezing November air seem warm and toasty asked.
"Evidently." I replied. "The astronomy tower isn't all that hard to find."
"After everything that has happened and you still have that attitude." I turned to look in the direction the voice came from but I couldn't see the person. He was well hidden in the shadows, not that I was surprised. As he spoke he came forth from the shadows and walked towards me. "What's it going to take to tame you, Halliwell?" I choked down the gasp that almost escaped when I felt his chilly knuckles graze my cheek.
Everything in my body fought to slap his hand away, to get away from that stifling smell of his cologne and the sickly sweet smell of his breath. But I couldn't. I couldn't afford to piss off this person. He had everything.
"Can you believe she's a Halliwell?" The hair on the back of my neck rose when I heard that feminine voice. It cannot be.
I didn't realize that I had spoken out loud. "Oh yes it can love." He stroked my cheek again, chuckling softly. Love, it sounded so different so dirty when he called me that. Nothing compared to the way Sirius said it.
I moved away from him and turned so that I could confirm with my eyes what I had heard with my ears. I was right- with her glossy mane of jet black hair, her heavy lidded light blue eyes and her patrician features there was no mistaking the fact that Bella Black was back. Only now she was known as Bella Lestrange and she wasn't back for good. How had she managed to get entry to the grounds?
When she noticed the shock on my face, she threw her head back and laughed maniacally. "Honestly, aren't the Halliwells powerful? Brave? Strong? This one looks so weak, so fragile. And Regulus said that Sirius was interested in a plain looking thing like her?" Insanity brightened her eyes as she assessed me. "Maybe," She said, her long, slender fingers stroking her wand thoughtfully, "I'll work on her a little."
"No, love." A third guy stepped out from the shadows and slipped his arm around her waist. Rodolphus Lestrange, Bella's husband. "Not yet. We need her for now. You can have your fun once we deliver it to the Master. Besides, she's gorgeous and you're jealous." Bella sniffed daintily and turned her face away from her husband. My stomach turned over.
"Stone, you're one crazy bastard you know that." I whispered. "What have you gotten into?"
He moved quickly and silently and before I knew he had backhanded me and his hand had my hair in a painful grip. Tugging my head back painfully, he towered over me. "You keep quiet; you little bitch and do as you're told. You've already had a week and you know we mean business. You know what we want and we want it fast. Incase you need a little incentive, maybe a little finger or two should do the trick, eh?"
Panic rose within me and bubbled to my mouth. "Don't touch a hair on their heads. You'll get what you want; I just need a little more time. It's been a long time and I don't know where the fountain is."
"Don't tell me what to do and what not to do, muggle-loving fool. I call the shots, or did you not notice? Did you end it with your mudblood and traitor friends?" The anticipation and excitement in his voice disgusted me.
"Yeah. Everything that you asked me to do, I've done it. Just keep your word and I'll have it by the end of next week." I gritted my teeth as his grip tightened.
"Work faster." I nodded awkwardly and he let me go. "We'll meet again tomorrow and you better have made progress. Now get out."
Only too grateful, I turned around and walked away, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of seeing me run away scared.
I closed the door behind and raced down the steps. What had Stone gotten himself into? They said that the Lestranges were a part of Voldemort's inner circle, his most trusted Death Eaters. And here they were in Hogwarts, a place that I considered the safest place on Earth, blackmailing me to do their biding, both for their own pleasure and for the pleasure of Voldemort himself.
Sliding down the tree truck, I sank into the soft ground. My head was such a mess. My friends hated me. I was being blackmailed by Slytherins to do their biding. My true identity among precious other things was at stake. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just hand away what they were asking for, even if I knew where it was. The thought of someone so evil having something so powerful scared the hell out of me. Maybe keeping it from them was worth losing what I loved, what I needed. But there had to be a way to not hand over the item and not lose what was most precious to me. I couldn't go to Dumbledore because they'd know the minute I went up to his room and it was only possible to orb out of the room and not into it.
I tried to tamp down the hysteria, the need to run to Lily and the Maurauders- to run to Dumbledore. Lily, Jesus. The things that I'd said to her, I would never forgive myself. It was the only thing that I had that I was proud of. A friendship that was sixteen years long. Apparently, there had been complications with Lily when she had been born and she was constantly in and out of the hospital the first couple of months. The day that I had been born she was in the nursery and since there weren't enough cribs, we'd shared one. I know how cheesy it sounds, I hadn't believed it myself when I was first told about it but it was true. I had been with Lily ever since I was born, she had been by my side since day one. She's taken care of my, stood up for me, accepted me when no one else had. The amount of patience she'd displayed over the years, never raising her voice when I did, never rising to my bait, always knowing that I was hoping someone would lash back and be just as mean I expected them to be. No, she understood and she loved. Her persistence and her tolerance were two pillars I always leaned on. And today I had thrown it back in her face. God, I could kill Stone, the bastard.
Just when I thought that things were finally going well, friends with new people, that weird but comforting relationship with Sirius- I had been almost normal there for a bit and now this.
What the hell was I going to do?
They finally told me that they wanted it and I had till next Friday or they would….oh God I couldn't even think it. Lily was right, I couldn't do this alone, it was way over my head. I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my air. I wasn't going to accomplish anything if I got all hysterical and crazy.
That's when it hit me.
"Kyle." I cried out.
And waited.
But nothing happened.
"Kyle Brody." I called again.
Goddamnit. "Kyle Brody get your butt-" I stopped mid sentence when I saw the bright swirly lights. When they cleared, I smiled my first smile since this entire mess had started.
"Hey." The affection in his voice nearly brought tears into my eyes.
"Heyy." My voice cracked.
Immediately, he was on the ground next to me and tipped my chin so that he could look at me. "What's wrong, Alex?"
"What's not?" I buried my face into his chest and closed my eyes. "Everything's wrong."
He didn't pull away and demand answers, he just rocked my back and forth and gave me some time to regain control. Reluctantly I pulled away from his embrace, "I'm sorry." I muttered.
"Don't be." He stroked my hair. "Want to tell me what's wrong?"
"First you have to swear that you won't tell anyone." I warned. "Especially them." I looked up to the heavens pointedly.
His thin lips lifted into a smile, "The Elders are my boss, you know."
"And I'm your charge." I reminded him.
"True." He conceded. "Before you say anything, how are Piper and Phoebe enjoying their vacation?"
I ran a shaky hand through my hair. "How did you know they're on vacation?"
"Well I dropped by the house last week and there was a note waiting for me on the fridge."
"Kyle." I started.
"Come on, Alex. You can tell me anything, you know that."
I looked at him, everything in his expression- from his warm, chocolaty eyes down to the lines on his face- told me I really could. He'd understand and he'd support me. More importantly, he'd help.
"Lily and I aren't speaking anymore." Yes, like that was all that was wrong. But for now it was foremost on my mind.
"Honey, friends fight-" He started, his voice lit with amusement.
"For real. I'm being blackmailed Kyle. This kid in school knows I'm a Halliwell. He's Slytherin and he confronted me last week. He's knows about the Charmed ones and everything." I saw his face tighten, making his cheekbones more prominent. "Grams and Aunt Phoebe aren't on vacation. They're kidnapped. By him."
"What?" He cried harshly. "What did you just say?"
"You heard me. He's got them in a safe house. I scryed every day for them for the past week, ever since he told me. But it's got all these enchantments that make it impossible to scry for…just as he said. He told me not to bother orbing too, even if I did find the place cause it was protected in that sense too. I tried to sense them but you know I can't do all that yet."
"What does he want?" Kyle's voice had gone deadly calm. Maybe it was all that FBI training he'd had when he had been human.
"Not he, they. Death Eaters. They want the Fountain of Youth for Voldemort." I finally told him.
