When she finally opened her eyes, Nanao could make out a faint orange glow coming through her window. The sun hadn't risen yet, but it was definitely making a start. Kyouraku-taichou was sleeping in the grey chair next to her again, his straw hat tilted over his eyes and his chest rising and falling with his slow, deep breaths.

His hand was warm in hers.

The air felt different today: cleaner, warmer. It was probably just that Nanao was finally off the pain medication, but there was something to be said for the new sense of clarity and direction that filled her.

Today would be a day of new beginnings; she would leave fourth today. She would go to the human world, to look for Urahara Kisuke. He was her only remaining hope to get out this mess; considering his crazy methods, that was certainly saying something about her desperation. Then, after that... then, she needed to go back to Rukongai.

Nanao wasn't sure why yet, but she knew that she had to go back to her childhood home in the 42nd district. Ever since she had woken up from - well, whatever that darkness had been, it seemed far too melodramatic to call it death - she had been having those strange flashes of knowledge. Like intuition, but stronger; these were not feelings, or sneaking suspicions, but rather answers handed to her.

I just need to figure out what the questions are.

Guiltily, her eyes darted back to the sleeping figure of her captain. She couldn't tell him, of course, he would insist on coming with her. This was something she had to do alone, for reasons she wasn't quite sure of yet.

She would wait until he left for his captain's meeting later this morning – she had heard Unohana-taichou discussing it with Hanatarou yesterday. It was the annual funding review, a long, dry meeting that even Kyouraku-tiachou couldn't miss.

It was the perfect distraction, as though some greater force wanted her to proceed with her plan. He wouldn't be able to trace her, without her reiatsu; no one would be able to. If she wanted, she could disappear from all of their lives overnight. If she was stronger, she would have: it would be better to start anew, rather than burdening her friends as she was bound to do living a useless life in the Seireitei.

It was still an option; to run, to leave, to go far away and never look back.

It should be the only option.

-

Dressed in her old shihakusho, Nanao had walked quietly out of the fourth division's main medical center, blinking up at the sun. She looked around furtively, as if expecting him to come barrelling out of the bushes demanding where she was heading, but Kyouraku-taichou was sufficiently occupied with his meeting.

She still felt guilty about leaving him like this, especially thinking of the vague note she had left on her hospital bed.

-I've gone to think about some things, I'll be back later. Don't worry. Nanao.

It was a low blow, to leave him without an explanation after disappearing like this, especially after all he had done for her over the past few weeks, but she wasn't sure what she was supposed to say about her journey. She didn't even know why she needed to go back to Rukongai, she just knew that it had to be done.

It was much easier to understand why she needed to go to Karakura alone, she hadn't needed to be told that.

It was hard to believe that the world had continued on while she was in the hospital; everything seemed so different, Nanao felt as though everything she had known was different, gone. To the Gotei 13, however, nothing had really changed.

The war still waged, skirmishes daily and battles at least once a week. They continued to be remarkably lucky with the safety of the upper officers – mostly all of the captains and vice-captains remained in fighting form; only a few were injured enough to need rest, and no one had died yet.

I'm the first one to leave the fight.

That was, of course, only among the first and second seats of the division. Seated officers now had a lifeline of about a month on duty, if they were lucky. The mortality rate for the unseated members was far worse. There was no way she could continue to monopolize Kyouraku-taichou's time when the division needed his so badly; for all that he was a lazy drunk, he was one of the strongest captains in the Seireitei.

And you're just a lost cause.

Nanao brushed her shinigami robes, smoothing out the wrinkles, as she heard the training group from the academy. Increasingly younger students went on real training missions, and older students were now required to take responsibility for the safety of pluses in war free zones. This particular class could only be in their first or second year, and they were led by a fifth year, instead of a seated division member as was customary.

They would be grateful for the help of a seated officer, if no one knew of her condition yet. They would recognize her rank by the insigna on her armband, but none of the students should know her personally, should know that she was officially out of commission. She needed to get to the real world, and this was the only way possible without her reiatsu.

They will think that I am masking it, no one should suspect anything.

She tied her fukutaichou armband securely over her sleeves, and listened in the shadows of the thick trees that surrounded the academy.

"For many of you, this will be your first mission to the real world. A small band of hollows has been spotted outside of Karakura town, a crucial position in the war effort. Although we will not be heading to an active zone, you will need to stay on your guard, and ensure that at least one member of every group has a headpiece to call for backup. The groups will be as follows-"

Nanao listened carefully to the names of the leaders and the classes involved. The leading student had a soft voice, but it carried well over the silence of the group. Nanao could hardly suppress a shiver – classes were always excited, talkative, and nervous on their first mission. There were always a few arrogant boys taking bets on how many hollows they could kill, or a few girls gossiping about the latest hollow rumours, and how they really couldn't afford any injuries what with the weekend coming up and all. This silence carried no anticipation, only fear – the situation appeared to have become more desperate during her stay in the hospital.

"Classes 1A, 2C, and 2D?" Nanao stepped forward and noted the looks of panic on the faces of the students. As they noted her uniform and arm band, relief filled the air. "I have been sent to supervise the mission, due to the recent activity of enemy forces. I will only accompany you to the site, after that I have some business to attend to."

They didn't question her as she explained her role, and blindly accepted her decision to let the fifth year lead. Her icy tones demanded respect more than her rank, and leading others was something she'd always done well.

You belong here, at the head of a shinigami team.

She ignored her thoughts, trying to remember that the fifth year was in charge. The girl looked too meek and scared to lead properly, and Nanao couldn't help but wonder if all the more competent students were put into groups for the more active areas. She focused on the students again, and motioned for one to open the senkai gate. The scheduled cleaning of the tunnels had already taken place, but the group moved quickly between worlds, aware that this connection was an easy target from Hueco Mundo.

It only took twenty minutes for the group to arrive on the outskirts of Karakura town. The area seemed fairly heavily wooded, which was why it was not a more active war zone. Aizen wanted to take the city, not the rural outlaying areas; besides, fighting in cities could be much more advantageous for sneak attacks. It was easier to hide a group of hollows in a building than behind a tree.

"I will need to leave you here; I have some urgent business to attend to in the city." Nanao noted the terror that crossed the faces of the young shinigami in front of her. "This is a quiet area. You will be safe as long as you stay in teams and control your reiatsu. Stay on your guard."

She marched off haughtily, trying to mimic Kuchiki-taichou; no one would ever contradict him. She felt like a complete fool, but it must have worked, because none of the students requested that she stay or provide more back up.

Nanao waited until she was a reasonable distance away before stopping to consider the appropriate direction to take. Most of Karakura's residents were actually in an outer area of the soul society, but Urahara Kisuke had apparently chosen to remain in the city. Although the Captain Commander had refused to rescind his exile, Kisuke's store served as a major base for the Gotei 13's forces. She would find it easily enough once she got into town.

A soft noise to her left had her whirling around, hands raised to brandish some kidou, a spell on her lips, before she realized how useless that was. She was alone, in a war zone, without any method of defence.

At least you don't have any reiatsu to prey on – a hollow probably wouldn't bother eating you if they came across you.

It was a cold comfort to know that the creatures that could – would - kill her probably wouldn't eat her afterwards. Still, she had absolutely no spiritual power – there were rocks with more energy than her. She could only be detected if a hollow actually saw her.

Keeping low to the ground, Nanao crept over to some nearby bushes. The sounds of the forest echoed around her quietly, the occasional hooting owl or quiet whisper of leaves in the wind. Every so often, a tree would groan softly in the wind; that must have been the sound that she had heard earlier.

It took at least half an hour for Nanao to convince herself to move, and when she did so, it was very quietly. As silent as a shadow, and as quickly as she could manage, Nanao took off in the direction of the city.

/AN: I am soooooooo sorry it took so long to write this. is grovelling, on the floor, for forgiveness there is so much going on right now, and it's only going to get worse, what with exams and graduating from high school. Seriously though, once I'm done, I'll be better at updating. I promise.

Thank you soooooo much, for reviewing. You guys are my heroes.

I don't know how I feel about this chapter yet, but I finally think I know where I'm going with it. Review, tell me what you think, any suggestions (any opinions on what Nanao's zanpakuto should be? It might make a flashback-y entrance...maybe...anyway, give me your ideas, mine all seem to suck). So, for this chapter: yay or nay? Review!