Chapter 9

By the time Neal returned to the pretty little house on Meadowbrook Street it was 1:45 on Monday morning, Christmas Eve. He was surprised to see the glow from the Christmas tree lights shining through the living room curtains of the house; they never left the lights on when they weren't nearby and he wondered if Sara had decided to wait up despite the late hour.

He was feeling reassured following his latest visit to the hospital, knowing that Liam would be fine in another day or so if they followed the doctor's advice to keep him well hydrated and continued to carefully monitor his fever. He, himself, was feeling marginally better, his fever finally receding although he was exhausted from the long hours and lack of sleep.

Soft snow fell on what was a much milder night and Neal lifted his sleeping son from his car seat and carried him in – it was a perfect Christmas Eve landscape and Neal took a moment to enjoy the quiet, muted scene as he stepped into the house.

'What are you still doing up?' he asked as he spied Sara on the floor by the Christmas tree 'I thought you'd be sound asleep'

Sara sat, surrounded by an array of wrapping paper, gift bags, ribbons, tape, stockings, boxes and packages and she had a pile of wrapped gifts off to one side. She stood to welcome her boys home as they walked into the house, rushing to take Liam from Neal's arms so he could get his coat and boots off.

'I slept for a little while but then... I just thought I'd start on all the gift wrapping' she answered, a frown on her face 'So? How did it go?'

'It's all good' Neal whispered as he kissed her forehead and reached out to take Liam back into his arms 'Why don't I get him settled and I'll meet you upstairs?'

Sara nodded, relaxing at Neal's response. She kissed her son goodnight and watched as he opened his eyes briefly and smiled at his mom, something he hadn't done much in the last few days. She tucked the unwrapped gifts away from prying eyes and made her way upstairs, settling into the cozy bed to wait for Neal. She could hear his reassuring voice as he spoke to Liam in the room across the hall from their bedroom, the spoken words effortlessly morphing to soft singing and within moments, Neal appeared in the doorway to their bedroom, looking totally done in. She watched as he began to undress, his shoulders slumped in a way she wasn't used to seeing, obviously exhausted from having spent hours waiting in the emergency room for the second night in a row.

'Hey' she said softly as she opened up her arms to him

He settled onto the bed next to her, his head resting on her chest and he wrapped his arms lovingly around her waist.

'Ow' Sara moaned as Neal pulled her in a little too tight

'Sorry, sorry, sorry...' he said, cringing, as he pulled back and let her position his arm on the least painful part of her stomach, somewhere between her bruised ribs and the large contusion that encircled her hips

'Better?' he asked, not daring to move as he felt her nod against him

He curled up against his wife, feeling the comforting warmth of her arms as she began placing soothing kisses on the top of his head, her hand running lovingly up and down his arm

'Are you okay?' she asked, concern obvious in her voice

'I'll be fine. Just feeling a little rough, that's all' he said as all the worry of the last few hours began to fade at her touch

'So, tell me' she asked, anxious to hear the details of the hospital visit

'Well, it's the flu; he probably got it from Hope. He was really dehydrated so they put him on an IV drip for about an hour...' he began as Sara let out a gasp

'Honey, it's no big deal. Dr. Williams said they sometimes have to do that with babies his age. She gave me some Pedialyte which we need to give him for the next twenty four hours until he'd taking in his usual levels of milk and she prescribed something for his fever. Oh, and she says hi and asked how you were feeling?' he added

He could feel Sara smiling against him, relieved at the prognosis for their little guy.

'So, we need to check on him in a couple of hours and get him to drink something' he added as he nuzzled against her, purring

They hadn't had more than five minutes alone in the last three days and their usual cuddle time had been highjacked by sick kids and other unexpected – and unwelcome – circumstances.

'Peter called while you were out' she said quietly 'He wants you to call him tomorrow'

'Oh yeah?' Neal said 'How are they doing?'

'Well, he was complaining about the noise in his parents' house with his sisters' kids running around and he said he envied us for having a nice quiet Christmas' Sara said, irony dripping from her voice

Neal laughed softly; if only Peter knew that their run up to Christmas had been anything but calm and relaxing. The room grew quiet as the young couple enjoyed the warmth and comfort of their bodies wrapped around each other.

'It's Christmas Eve...' Sara spoke softly, her voice faraway

'Yeah...' Neal whispered back 'I need to go out later and run a few errands. I want to pick up a couple of things and we need to get the food situation sorted out if we want something more than a can of beans for Christmas dinner'

'Well, don't push yourself. The kids would be happy with a can of beans as long as we get those Christmas presents under the tree' Sara said with a soft laugh

Neal grew quiet and Sara could feel him tensing up.

'What's the matter, sweetie?' she asked

'Aww, it's nothing...' he said before deciding to come clean. There was no use trying to keep anything from his wife any more, not after everything they'd gone through over the past year. 'It's just that Hope was talking about last Christmas and I couldn't remember much of what she was talking about'

Sara sighed. This was a recurring thing with Neal as he slowly struggled to put the pieces of their lives from the past five years back together. The memories were still coming at odd, unexpected moments - sometimes when he heard a song on the radio or when he tasted something vaguely familiar or whenever Hope or Sara mentioned an incident in passing that shook something loose in his subconscious. But it was never enough for Neal who continued to lament the fact that there were still some holes in his recollections. She felt him turn his head and look towards their chest of drawers, his eyes moving to the sculpture he'd given her as a gift the previous Christmas. She'd seen him over the past few months, holding the object, running his hands over it, trying to recall the feeling he must have had as he molded the clay into the beautiful carving of his then pregnant wife.

'Neal, it is what it is. You have to stop beating yourself up about it' she whispered lovingly

'I just wish I remembered making it for you. I know how excited we both were...' he began his voice trailing

'Then just focus on that feeling. You know what Allison says, feelings are often what triggers the memory' she added softly

Allison Grant was Neal's therapist at the Brain Injury Clinic and she'd helped him through the first few horrible months following his accident, helping him navigate the confusion and frustration as he struggled to remember his life as a married man and a father to Hope. He still had sessions with her every six weeks as issues continued to crop up; she'd been a godsend and Neal had been anxious lately, knowing she would be going on maternity leave in a couple of months.

'Oh, I meant to ask you' he said, trying to navigate away from the painful subject 'I had a dream last night. It was Hope's first day of school and we watched her get on the bus with Olivia. Jeff and Donna were there, too... We followed the school bus and we parked and watched as she got off. She was holding Olivia's hand...' he added, his voice slow and his words purposeful as he recalled the vivid dream and hoped, as he did each time, that it was an actual memory and not some random dream.

'Yes!' Sara said, pulling him tighter, thrilled as always whenever he recovered a new memory 'That's exactly what happened'

She was used to it by now – Neal would run his dreams by her and her job was to let him know if what he'd dreamed had actually happened. Neal always got excited whenever a new memory was recovered and he would tuck it away preciously in his conscious mind, nurturing it lovingly, keeping it alive, playing it over and over again in his mind until he felt that he'd truly absorbed it, vowing to never let it go.

'... And then... you and I stopped at the drugstore...' he continued seemingly in a trance, although the relevance of this part of the dream seemed unclear to him

Sara waited, not wanting to prompt him into remembering more until it was absolutely necessary.

Suddenly, Neal lifted his head excitedly and looked at his wife.

'That was the morning we found out you were pregnant' he said as the memory flooded back

'You were so excited...' she said with a warm smile

'I sat on the edge of the tub and you sat on the toilet with that pee stick in your hand, just staring...' he continued his voice faraway, as it always was as he relived the events his body knew so well but his mind had momentarily forgotten

He put his head back down and Sara could feel him smiling against her. She could feel him relax and she closed her eyes, feeling sleep invade her. One step at a time, they would get there, together.

Within seconds, they were both sound asleep.

WCWCWC

By 8:00, Sara and Hope were up, making plans for Christmas Eve dinner and discussing what should be left out for Santa that night: sugar cookies or a piece of the pie Neal had made. They were debating the subject vigorously when the phone rang and Sara got up to answer.

'Is this Sara Ellis?' the man asked

'Yes it is' she answered

'I'm with the Rogers and Sons wrecking yard, ma'am' he began as Sara cringed at the word 'ma'am' which she hated with a passion 'we've got some of your personal belongings here which were left in your car on Saturday'

'Oh, my God' Sara said as Hope looked up at her mom 'I completely forgot I had left stuff in the car'

'We're open today until five if you want to come down and pick everything up' he added before hanging up

Sara had been on her way home when the accident happened and she'd left all her purchases behind including a gift for Neal and Hope's coveted sing along microphone as well as various items for everybody's Christmas stockings.

Despite still feeling sore and achy, her mind was clear at last and she began to think ahead to what needed to be done to make this a memorable Christmas for the four of them. Liam was looking much better; she'd been up to nurse him twice during the night and his fever had finally gone down, leaving him more alert. Neal, however, had been dead to world when she'd gotten up and she continued to be worried about him. He always put everybody else's needs ahead of his own and she wanted him to get some well deserved rest before he headed out to run those last minute errands.

'Honey' Sara said as she turned to Hope 'Didn't you say Donna orders her groceries on line?'

Hope nodded. She'd been along for the ride once when Donna had picked up her groceries from a local market.

'Do you remember what store it was?' Sara asked as she began poking around on the nearby laptop

'It's the one near the soccer field' Hope said as Sara clued in and began typing away

Short cuts were the order of the day if they were going to make it to Christmas Day at the same time as the rest of the world.

TBC