Chapter 9
Severide was scared. What if this plan backfired? What if Shay felt ganged up on and wouldn't confide in him? What if she never forgave him? Everyone kept telling him the this was the right thing to do. They needed to do an intervention before it got worse. He didn't know what he would do if he found her one day passed out -or worse- from taking too many pills.
"She'll be home soon," he said, as Mills, Casey, Dawson, and he waited. "I hope she doesn't hate me."
Casey put his arm on his shoulder reassuringly. "You're doing this because you care about her."
Just then the door opened and Shay walked in. "Hey guys. What's going on? Are we all going to Molly's or something?"
"No, Shay, we're not going to Molly's," Severide said. "Why don't you sit down?" He really didn't want to do this.
"No, I'm fine. Why don't you tell me why you're all here."
"Shay," Dawson said as lovingly as possible, "We're all here because we love you and want to help you. We think you have a problem with painkillers."
"Seriously?" Shay screamed. "You all are still on this? I'm fine! I'm a paramedic. I know how to use painkillers."
"I found the bottles in your bathroom. You're using way more than prescribed. And Oxy? Shay, I know the doctor didn't give you those."
"You went snooping through my stuff? The night you came over... Did you really want to spend time with me or did you just want to see how many pills I was taking?"
"Of course I wanted to spend time with you! You're my best friend. I want to help you."
"She cares about you," Casey said, "We all do."
"You care about me, Casey?"
"Of course, I do Shay. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"When's the last time we hung out? When's the last time we talked- just the two of us? About something other than Dawson? You never came and checked on me. That's not a friendship."
At this point she was choking back tears. How dare they all gang up on her and accuse her of being a drug addict?
"You're right," he said. "I haven't been a very good friend lately, but I'm trying to change that. Let us help you."
"I don't need your help," she said, getting angry. "I don't need any of you." She turned to Severide, "How could you? You're supposed to be on my side. You're supposed to be my best friend. Support me." She was crying now. The thought of Severide turning against her was too much. He was supposed to always believe in her.
"I am your best friend, Shay. I love you so much and this whole thing is scaring the hell out of me."
"My best friend wouldn't turn on me and invite other people into my home and accuse me of being a loser drug addict.
"That's not fair," Mills said. "Severide didn't want to do this. We convinced him it was the right thing to do." He walked closer to her, and tried to reach for her hand but she walked away. "We don't think you're a loser. We think you just need some help. Let your friends help you."
"Come on, Mills. We both know that we wouldn't be friends if we hadn't been trapped together. You just feel responsible for me since you were stuck with me in that building. You don't really want my friendship."
"Of course, I do, Shay!"
"None of you need to worry about me! I release you all of your obligation. I'm sure you all can do something better with your time than worry about poor Leslie Shay."
She ran towards the door with tears running down her face and her hands shaking. She almost got out, but Severide grabbed her arm. He could feel her shaking. He had never seen her like this. She was so broken and so scared.
"Let go of me, Kelly."
"I'm not letting you leave. Shay, please, just let me help you. Tell me what I can do."
"I need the pills. I'm in pain everyday, and they help. I promise I'll stop once the pain goes away, and I can go back to work."
He could feel that she was breaking down. She was starting to let him in. He grabbed her other hand, and pulled her close. "You don't need the pills. Remember when I was taking drugs for my neck? You helped me realize that it was wrong. You helped me then. Let me help you now."
She shook her head. "It's different. You had surgery, and you were as good as new. I'm not going to have surgery. All I have is pain. I can't go back to work unless I make the pain stop."
"You're not going back to work if you're on the painkillers. Boden won't let you."
Shay let go of Severide's hands and stepped back. "You told Boden?"
"No," Severide said as fast as he could. "No, we didn't tell him."
"But you're going to?" She said, just barely above a whisper.
"We just want to do what's best for you," Dawson said.
"How could you all betray me like this?"
Severide could see the pain and confusion on her face, and he tried to grab her again, but she pulled away.
"Leave me alone! I don't need any of you. Just leave me alone!" She ran out the door before Severide could stop her.
"Damnit!" He screamed. "I knew this was a bad idea! I should have talked to her myself! I could have gotten through to her." He reached for his phone and his wallet and headed towards the door. "I'm going to go find her."
"I'll go with you," Mills said.
"No. All of you just need to go home. I'll find her and bring her home. I'll fix this."
Shay walked as fast as she could through the streets of Chicago. She made her way down to the water, her favorite spot. She remembered being here just a few months ago when her life was falling apart. Dawson rescued her then, but she wouldn't be coming now. No one would.
She found a bench and as soon as she sat down she started sobbing. She couldn't believe that she had said all those horrible things to everyone. They probably all hated her.
She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to see Herrman standing next to her.
"Herrman, what are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing. What's wrong?"
"I've messed everything up," she cried. "I've pushed everyone away, and I've done something really stupid."
He sat down next her, and said, "Well it can't be that bad. Why don't you tell me what's going on, and then we can fix it. I promise."
