Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my new New Moon poster, three new dresses and my new UGG boots.


Battlefield.

Chapter Nine: Tortured.


Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days you will be right. ----Unknown author.

Once again, for the second time this week, I spent the full night wide awake, unable to grasp the peacefulness of slumber. Whenever I clamped my eyes shut and begged for sleep, Spike's face would flood my mind until my eyes flew open again moments later. Eventually I gave up on the possibility of sleep and took a place besides the window, staring out into the vast pool of darkness.

My eyes squinted through the darkness.

I knew he was out there somewhere, possibly plotting his next sickening scheme to torture me. Knowing that Willow, Oz, Sky, Faith and Mom were all under my roof, it helped with my extremely high nerves. Giles, to my slight irritation, refused to stay over as well, explaining to me in his thick British accent that he could take care of himself. Whilst Cordelia and Xander were both well aware of how overcrowded my house would be tonight; therefore they decided to camp out together in Cordelia's house for the night.

I had been tremendously relieved when Parker and Riley, who had brought a few forensics to accompany them to the house, had explained to us that the red substance was in fact blood, though it belonged to a pig. The fear that someone had lost their life just so Spike could torture me disappeared instantly. The forensics swept for fingerprints, which was indeed successful this time as Spike had wrote over the mirror without a glove. The results for the fingerprints would be confirmed for us sometime later in the week; however I already knew whose fingerprints they were – so the results, as I told Riley, seemed pretty damn pointless. But it was all part of the job. After forensics had finished, the door was boarded up and the house was enclosed in the unattractive yellow police tape.

I heard Angel moan softly into the cushion. The squeaking of springs told me that my lover was shifting his body to try and find a comfortable position on the sofa.

If there was one thing my Mom taught me, it was how to be a good hostess.

I had offered Willow and Oz our bed, shouting down Willow's refusal until she grew that tired that she happily accepted. Sky had taken Evelyn's crib, where she just about fitted in, whilst I decided that Evelyn would be alright spending one night in her bassinet. Faith and my Mom had their guest rooms, leaving the bathroom, sitting room and kitchen as the only spare rooms. Angel and I happily chose the sitting room over all three. The sofa wasn't so bad I supposed.

As I stared out at the pitch black streets, I wondered what sickening scheme I would have to suffer through next.


By lunch time the next day, only Evelyn and I were left in the house.

Angel had left for work around half eight as usual, complaining on his way out about needing a new sofa, whilst he massaged his stiff back. Faith had sneakily left after Angel, but I already knew she was going to the gym to kick in a few sessions of a hardcore work-out. Mom, who had scolded me for almost an hour straight about not sleeping again, had decided to go back home for the morning to collect her post and check the house, along with doing some grocery shopping for my own house. And the Osbourne family thanked me for letting them take over our home and departed back to their own house, where hopefully someone would be waiting to replace their shattered door.

However, even though I desperately wanted to spend a few hours alone with my daughter, pretending like we were all a happy family in a simple word; I had the strongest urge to do my own detective work. I didn't want to drag Evelyn any further into my mess than I already had, so instead I got her ready in the most adorable Winnie the Pooh set and placed her in her car seat, thankful that she was being rather calm.

'I'm sorry baby, I promise you and I will bond later,' I apologized to my seven month daughter.

I looked in my rear view mirror to see her playing with a button on her jumper. Deciding that it was unwise to continue talking when Evelyn was obviously distracted and probably unaware of what she was saying, I turned back to the road and focused on my driving.

Ten minutes later, I pulled up outside a rather newish looking building. Paintings and drawings of bright colours decorated the windows, whilst across the top of the automatic doors was an eye-catching red sign saying: Rosebuds Day-care. Cutting the engine, I grabbed my keys from the ignition and jumped out of the car. After retrieving Evelyn from her car seat, I headed towards the entrance.

The automatic doors slid open and I was welcomed into the warmth of the reception. Evelyn had a small handful of my hair, twisting it between her tiny fingers. I headed over to the reception desk where a tall brunette girl named Dawn sat, spinning on her seat, looking quite bored. Upon noticing my arrival, Dawn rose to her feet and flashed me a huge smile.

'Buffy!' she said.

'Hey Dawn,' I smiled.

I balanced Evelyn on my hip, wincing slightly as she tried to keep a firm grip on my hair and pulled it, as I picked up the pen that rested on the desk. I quickly wrote down Evelyn's name, the time and date, before scribbling my signature besides the information. I pushed the book to Dawn, who glanced over it once, and nodded. The book was used as confirmation that a child had been passed over to the Rosebuds Day-Care with signed permission. Then, if there were any problems, the book would be able to tell what time the child had arrived, left, who with, and on what date.

'Buffy! Evelyn! It's great to see you again.'

I looked up to see Tara sliding through a door, letting the noisy screams and childish laughter ring through the reception, as I saw a sneak peek of a group of toddlers running past.

'Tara, hey. Yeah, I have some business to take care of, I hope you don't mind,' I said, passing Evelyn over to her.

Tara bounced Evelyn in her arms, causing a musical giggle to escape my daughter's lips. I smiled and passed Tara her diaper bag as well.

'No, course, it's fine,' Tara replied, meeting my gaze.

'Thanks. I'll be back later to pick her up … but if not, her Dad might pick her up instead,' I informed.

Tara nodded.

I leant forward and pressed a kiss to Evelyn's cheek, running my fingers through her blonde curls, before thanking Tara and waving goodbye to Dawn.

I returned to my car and slid in the driver's seat, letting my hands glide over the steering wheel.

I was about to return to a place I hadn't been since the end of my senior year of High School…


I stood in front of the oak door, wrinkling my nose at the faint smell that loomed in the halls.

Taking another step closer, I allowed my fingers to run over the wood. When I lifted up my fingers, they were blackened with dust and dirt, reminding me of how long it had been since I had last visited this place. It had been almost six, maybe seven, years since I had last stepped through the unclean door before me. How time passed …

When you had abusive parents, you often felt trapped. I wouldn't know the feeling in depth as my Mother had been nothing but a huge support in my life, a safety net of sorts, however I had been in a relationship with someone who was abused every single day and the emotion had rubbed off on me. This was why Spike, at the age of seventeen, left his parents house and moved into his own flat. Because, if you felt trapped, wouldn't you make at least some effort to break free?

I had spent a few nights over at his place, mainly on weekends when my Mother would allow me, but I had never liked the place. It was dirty, dank and lacked everything that a home should be. For a while, I pitied Spike. He had to live in this dump, in this place that would never pass for a home, because his own house held nothing but the horrors of a good beating from his parents. And, even now after everything he had put me through; I couldn't help feel sorry for him because he had never known a true home, and probably never will. It made me thankful for the house I shared with Angel and Evelyn – because I realised now that not everyone had somewhere that they could truly call a home.

I had never received a spare key to his flat, probably because he liked his privacy, and I had been unable to require one from the old man downstairs who owned this block of flats, which left me with only two options.

I gave the door a slight shove, however, as I had thought, the door barely even rattled under the force of my weight.

This left me with option two.

Thanking Mom mentally for sending me to karate as a child, I jumped up and delivered a firm kick to the centre of the door. The door flew open at the contact and slammed into the wall behind, smashing something that had obviously been behind the door.

I shuffled into the flat, congratulating myself on a well delivered kick, before shutting the door behind me. Flicking on the light, I turned to explore the flat.

The first thing I noticed was the shattered glass that shined in the light behind the door. As I bent down to retrieve the pieces, I realised that this must have been the object I smashed when the door was thrown open. I knew the glass must have come from somewhere, so I looked around. It was then when I found the photo frame, minus the glass, a foot away from me. I crawled on my knees and reached over, grasping the frame between my fingers. When I turned it over, I felt the breath escape my lungs.

Staring back up at me was myself. A younger version of myself, with slightly shorter hair, a tad bit skinnier, sat on Spike's knee, my arms thrown around his neck. The love that had only vanished within time was evident in my twinkling eyes as I watched my lover laugh. The way I looked at him with admiration was odd to see. The only person I looked at with so much love, passion and admiration now was Angel, the father of my child and the keeper of my heart.

I let my fingertips graze across the photograph, trying to think back to when it had been snapped.

It had been a time during High school, that was for sure, and when my love for Spike had been the strongest emotion within me, overpowering my love for anything else. The sun shined on both of our faces; I was gazing up at Spike, he was laughing happily. I could understand why he had kept this picture. It showed everything he had lost.

I returned the picture to the floor, sweeping up the shattered glass and dropping it in the bin besides the other side of the door. I straightened up and wiped my hands on my jeans.

In slow motion, like you saw in movies, I turned to face the rest of the flat that I had been trying my hardest to disregard.

And it was, as it had been all those years ago, still a disgusting mess of a place … yet much worse if that was possible. Pizza boxes lay deserted beside the old hideous sofa, the same sofa that I had once curled up with Spike on after a hard day at school, whilst the rest of the floor was occupied by clothing, shattered glass – that looked like they had once been beer bottles, and wallpaper that had been stripped from the walls. Newspapers lay folded on the floor, the cheap coffee table was overturned, and the television lay on its side on the floor instead of the wooden cabinet it had been stood on once upon a time.

I now wondered if Spike had destroyed his home after returning to Sunnydale, maybe in some force of rage or if the police had come here to search for him and swept the place, searching for clues as to his whereabouts. Whichever it was, they had made a damn atrocious mess.

I wrinkled my nose as I stepped further into the mess, trying and failing to stay out of the way. As I tip-toed through the mess in the sitting room, I noticed that the rest of the flat didn't look as bad. Once I had safely made my way to the corridor that led to the bathroom and bedroom, there wasn't a pinch of dust in sight.

I nudged open the door that I knew to be the bedroom with my right foot, not wanting to touch the withering door. When it opened, I remembered that Spike had taken most of his belongings that occupied his bedroom to Michigan with us, leaving behind only the mess behind in the sitting room. Scanning his old bedroom, which only consisted of a bed stripped to the mattress and yellow laced curtains, I shut the door and returned to the hallway.

As my eyes wandered on the repulsive sitting room area, I found myself glad that I had taken Evelyn to day-care instead of bringing her to this, for lack of a better word, shit tip. A shiver ran down my spine at the mere thought of bringing my precious baby here in this revolting environment.

Realising that my detective work was utter useless and had failed, I decided that I was better off leaving it up to Parker and Riley, as it was what they got paid for, and that I wanted to see Evelyn again.

As I made my way out of the flat, I couldn't help but glance one more time at the photograph on the floor.

Photographs were beautiful creations. They are there to capture a moment, freeze it in time, when everything goes too fast for you to even experience it properly. They give us something to look back on and remember how it used to be, how it had changed. Letting us wrap ourselves up in the story that a single picture told.

Photographs were all we had left of the moments that time stole from us. The moments that we were never getting back …


I jumped out of my car, slamming the door shut behind me, as I jogged towards the day-care centre. I had been stuck in traffic for the last half an hour and was grateful to get out of the car for a bit of fresh air. I had almost fell asleep, though the musical, yet very annoying, sound of cars honking behind me had me wide awake and grounded.

I happily welcomed the sensation of the air conditioning in the reception. It felt extremely pleasurable having the breeze hit my face, especially after scorching in a car for half an hour. However, I completely forgot about the coolness on my skin when I registered Dawn's confused glance that she was giving me.

'Hey Dawn,' I greeted, trying to ignore the feeling that I was being x-rayed.

'Hey, Buffy … erm … what are you doing here?' Dawn asked in confusion.

It was my turn to look confused.

'Huh? Dawn, I'm here for my daughter – you know, Evelyn. The little Blondie I brought here before,' I laughed.

I reached the desk, watching as Dawn grew more confused. Then my eyes fell on the book before me.

Only ten minutes previously, only six hundred damn seconds before I had arrived, Evelyn had been checked out. My eyes fell on the signature.

I choked.

Before I could answer Dawn, who had been questioning me on how pale I looked, I fled from the building, tears stinging my eyes.

There was a pain, like I was burning inside, but it was too strong for me to identify where it was coming from. I felt like I was being deprived of air as I clambered into my car. My heart had stopped beating ever since I had found the five letter word printed in the signature section, confirming that my daughter had been taken. At the thought of my beloved daughter in his arms, I felt a searing pain shoot through my whole body, causing me to almost cripple in my seat from the agony.

I pulled out from the day-care centre and sped down the road, going as fast as I could.

I fumbled around the passenger seat before my fingers shakily wrapped around the frame of my phone. I lifted it, casting my eyes aside from the road for a moment, and hit number one on speed dial. A few moments later, the sound of Angel's slutty blonde receptionist answered the phone.

'Angel O'Connor's office, how many I help –'

'Harmony, just give Angel the damn phone!' I yelled impatiently.

I heard her huff in the background before clicking a button. Seconds later, Angel's smooth voice rang through my ears.

'Buffy, what's wrong?' he asked.

I couldn't get the words out; they were stuck at the back of my throat – choking me almost. I spluttered, trying to capture some soft of air, whilst listening to Angel speak to me worriedly down the phone. Trying to ignore the strong urge to vomit, I took a deep breath and focused on the words I needed to speak to Angel.

'He's taken Evelyn, Angel,' I said, my voice no more than a whisper.

I heard Angel choke slightly. After the slight squeak of a chair, I could only hear a pair of heavy footsteps thudding against the ground.

'What?' Angel hissed.

'I'm so sorry – I'm sorry,' I apologized.

It was my entirefault. As her Mother, it was my job to protect her, to keep her safe. I had failed. I had failed my job as a Mother. Just as I had failed my previous child that had been lost forever. If I had only been ten damn minutes earlier … I would have gotten to Evelyn before Spike had. I could have protected her. If I had never brought my messed up past back to Sunnydale, my family would have been safe from the start. I bet Angel hated me, was maybe even disgusted with me, for letting that filthy animal get his hands on our precious baby daughter.

'It's my entire fault, I bet you hate me. It's my fault that he's got our baby,' I sobbed down the phone, thick tears rolling down my reddened cheeks.

I had been so occupied on the phone, my mind entirely racing as I thought of my baby, with my eyes blinded by the hot tears that stung my eyes that my concentration hadn't been on the road as it should have been.

Through my blurred eyes, I noticed a small figure dressed in black stood on the corner of a side street. With a wave of the figures arm, I noticed a white van swerve around the corner.

There was nothing I could do.

It was too late.

The white van collided into the side of my car with a thunderous crash. Then, suddenly, everything was swirling. I realised that my car had rolled over onto the roof; the passenger side window had shattered. The seatbelt dug into my chest as I was thrown forward, my head smashing into the steering wheel. I could feel the blood trickling down my forehead.

My last thought was how I hoped Angel would find our beautiful baby girl and protect her from everything I was unable to now. I hoped that Angel would forgive me once he found Evelyn. I hoped the rest of my family and friends could now live in a peaceful world that I would never get to see.

Finally, the depth of the blackness swallowed me whole.


DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN!

Hope that made up for the crappy previous chapter. And I hope it was at least sort of dramatic.

Thanks so much for the review – it means so bloody much to me. If you're a writer, you know how much it means to have people praising your work.

And six reviews away from 100! YOU GUYS ROCK!

And, before I forget, I got a C in my GCSE! The highest I could get was a B, so I'm quite proud! :P

Thanks again!

And please – even if you don't normally review – just review this chapter so I know if it worked or not!

Your writer always,

Beth x