Hope you are still enjoying these characters as much as I am! Keep paying attention to dates because it can get a tad confusing. I hope to bring it all together in the next couple of chapters. Thank you to everyone who took the time to review! You really do not know the joy of seeing them especially to a boring mother of 4 who needs something other poopy diapers :) Thanks again!
We know I don't own this and that SM does. Just happy to get to play with the characters. Enjoy!
Chapter 9
April 23, 2009
As Bella was hugging Alice goodbye with her to-go cup of coffee in her hand, she had a million thoughts running through her head. They all mainly revolved around one green eyed boy.
"Fuck, he was a man." Bella thought to herself.
Returning library books, picking up laundry and getting a few groceries so she wouldn't starve were all thrown in there sporadically as well.
Coffee with Alice was as interesting as always to Bella. She sat there silently while adding in a few well placed "Ah's" and "Really's". Getting a word in with Alice while she was on a tirade about how she couldn't find anyone to go out with past the first date was like trying to shove an elephant through someone's asshole.
She did not bring up her dilemma with Jake and Edward. It just really didn't seem like a good time to Bella especially when Alice said that she knew she would meet her perfect man soon. She had seen it in a vision and told Bella that it was true. How was she able to doubt one's ability to see into the future? She figured that everyday she had people telling her they could fly and read people's minds as well.
Completely normal.
Bella just decided to talk about her issues at a later date with the resident psychic.
Bella began practically running to the library just so she could quickly get home and most definitely be depressed for the evening because she was sure as shit positive that there wasn't a letter from Edward in her mailbox. Of course being Bella, she was a proven masochist. After she threw her books in the drop box at the library like the lazy ass that she was, she sprinted one block to the cleaners to grab a couple of dresses and pants that she had finally taken to them after spilling shit on them two years prior.
She was sure the stains fought well, but the little guy that owned the place could get any stain out of any clothing. He would do Monica Lewinski proud.
Speaking of said little guy, he currently was standing behind the counter and stared at Bella curiously from her face to the tapping right foot. She was silently telling him to hurry the fuck up and get her shit out there to her yesterday. She resorted to this tactic because she couldn't say it out loud to his face. Bella did not want to find out how many sizes he could shrink her shit to the next time she decided to bring her stuff back to him. Her last stop was for milk, bread, and all the necessities Bella needed to stave off starvation. She didn't have time for all of this, so dry cereal it was for her, she decided rather triumphantly.
Bella had not actually taken a run in awhile and as she made her way up to the mailbox she definitely had to sit her tired ass down before she fell out amongst the killer bushes again. She leaned her dry cleaning up against the boxes themselves and slid her rear down the side of it before she collapsed. Bella deftly but more likely clumsily crawled on her hands and knees to check it out.
"Low and fucking behold it's here," Bella giggled out loud.
"Hmph. How dare they put all this other shit on top of you?" she spoke to the mailbox as she slowly realized that she may have completely lost her fucking mind.
She slid her letter out and slammed the door shut on the rest of her offending pieces of mail. Bella was so busy trying to open up the Fort Knox's of all letters while walking towards her apartment at the same time when a gentle clearing of a throat startled the shit out of her.
"Um, mam? I think you forgot something?" the unknown throat clearer said.
Bella turned around to see a little, old man holding up her dry cleaning. She couldn't help but think to herself how much Edward had seriously and clearly fucked her shit up. After he handed over the said garments of clothing, she thanked him quickly and turned around to run like the mad woman that she was becoming up the stairs and into her apartment. She grabbed the first seat available and glanced at the clock in the kitchen realizing it was already 5:30 p.m. and Jake would be there at 7:00 p.m. to collect her. Bella dove right into her Edward's letter. That's right, she though, her Edward. Even in her own mind she was becoming and sounding like the proverbial love, sick child that she knew she was.
09April or actually the 10th
0013 (really early or late, considering)
Bella,
Is it sad to say that I am just as excited about writing back to you as I am when I actually get your letters? Okay, maybe not as much, but very close. The guys know exactly who my letters are from based on how quickly I open and dig into them. Emmett and Jasper as me again to say hello from them and that they can't wait to finally meet you in the flesh. Of course, those feelings come no where close to how excited I am about actually seeing you.
Truthfully, those thoughts are what get me through these long, drawn out days. Some days are better than others, but most of the time I really don't know how my sanity has held on this long.
Enough of that. There will be time for me to tell you about what's been happening over here when I get home. Actually, I have myself set on just letting you read my journal. It seems as if that may be easier than having to retell all of the sordid details of my time here.
Well, since you told me the truth about who you've loved, I guess it is time for me to do the same. I'll state the obvious.
I love Esme.
She's my mom, how could I not? I also love you, maybe not so obvious. The more time and distance that comes between us I realize that the love I feel for you is not a platonic love, it's a love that I feel in my bones and mainly in my broken heart. It's just my luck that I've realized how much I truly feel for you and I can't even see your beautiful smile (hopefully you're smiling) as I'm telling you this. I think I've known for a couple of weeks, but I didn't know what to do with that kind of information. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, physically, mentally and emotionally. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you, sometimes probably inappropriately by Charlie's standards. That's why I found that poem to remind me of you. You are beautiful, not just in a physical sense but in a way that everyone that comes in contact with you can see your beauty within. Enough with the sappiness. Okay, maybe just a bit more. The poem is "She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron. Here's the part that reminds me so much of you.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
I hope this hasn't been too much for you. I also pray that you could possibly feel the same for a man like me. I know I'm not perfect and honestly I've done things that even piss myslf off, but I do know that no one on this earth will love you more than I do and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Please don't let your response take too long, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle the prerequisite week in between our letters. I'll be thinking of you and I DO love you, Isabella Marie Swan.
Love,
Edward
"Holy fucking shit! He loves me!" Bella yelled out loud.
To her it was more than that because he accepted her. On the downside she thought, he did not know how much she was already in love with him.
"What the hell was that noise?" Bella thought.
She couldn't bring herself to put her letter down as she jumped up from her perch in the chair. Bella realized with a startle that it was already 7:00 p.m. and she was not even ready. This was so not good for her. Not good at all.
"What the fuck do I care, though? Seriously?" Bella really needed to stop talking out loud to herself.
Bella was so ecstatic because the love of her life had just told her that he loves her, too. Her best friend who she never believed would see her as anything other, who recently she didn't even know she saw something more.
She rushed to the door and jerked it wide open with her letter still dramatically attached to her hands. Jake just stood there open mouthed as he took in Bella's attire.
"I'd ask if I was early and that's why you're not ready but I can see from your clock that I am in fact a little late. Am I missing something here, Bella?" he asked.
Bella couldn't help it. She was really not good in these type of situations. She just looked up at Jake and stared at him for a second before she could form a complete sentence in her mind. He really was beautiful she thought and he could do far better than her. What he did not realize about Bella was that her heart already belonged to a bronze hair, green eyed man who currently was thousands upon thousands of miles away and it had belonged to him longer that she had even realized herself.
"Um, Jake, I'm sorry. I'm not going to be able to go out tonight. Well, if I'm being honest I'm never going to be able to go out with you. You see," she was telling his shoes why she couldn't go out and he stopped Bella right there.
Jake reached out and grabbed Bella's chin and made her raise her brown eyes to meet his almost black ones. "I understand Bella, why didn't you tell me?" he asked as he pushed his empty arm out to signify the letter she was till holding to tightly.
"It's not like I didn't notice you hanging out at the mailbox everyday." He chuckled and shook his head.
"Jake, really, it's not like that. I mean, I guess it is but it's a really long story and I don't know if I have it in me to explain it all to you tonight." She tried to be as apologetic as possible even though Bella was dying for him to turn around and walk away. She just wanted to get back to her letter and responding to it.
"It's okay. I completely understand. I have a long story that I could share with you and I have a feeling we're in the same situation." He answered as his smile turned almost sad. At that point Bella almost said fuck it and invited him in but he stopped her before she could do so.
"How about this, we can meet for a drink after classes sometime soon and share our stories on a non-date date as friends? We could both use another friend I'm sure." He said as he was taking a step back from Bella's doorframe.
"You know what, Jake? That sounds really good. I could go after this next week is over. I have some really big tests coming up that I definitely need to study for. It would be a celebration of sorts after getting through them." Bella said with a true smile on her face.
"Okay then, it's a non-date date." Jake said as he was walking out of her door.
That was quite a bit easier than Bella had thought it would be. She figured that they did have some explaining to do between one another. It would also be nice for her to have someone to talk to other than Alice and Rosalie, Bella considered. They were too far into man bashing these days and she really hoped that one day they would meet someone who would knock them off of their own feet. Bella thought she was being a little selfish but she just wanted them to shut up sometimes. Rose needed someone who would actually stand up to her and Alice, poor Alice still believed that she would meet her soul mate very soon. Sometimes Bella wondered if she was all there up in that brain of hers.
She finally brought herself out of her inner musings as she like to call them but Edward just called it "quirky". Bella grabbed her notebook and pen to start writing to him. She couldn't wait to tell him how much he meant to her and that she truly loved him with all of her heart, too.
April 29, 2009
"We're losing him. We need to evacuate this one."
"Same here, I can't get this bleeding to stop. Fuck, if we lose one more man over here, I just don't know."
"I don't know how he's survived with these injuries this long. Let's just be thankful to get them prepared for evac. The heli will be here soon to get them flown into Germany."
"Shit, this guy will be lucky if he ever walks again, that's for sure."
"I hope I got all of this shrapnel out of his shoulder. It could have been much worse for him. He's just lost so much blood."
"Lucky it didn't hit his chest. It left a big enough hole in his shoulder."
"I can't believe our three best medics have been taken out. Do you see the burns on this one's chest?"
Snippets, that's all Edward was hearing. He fucking didn't know if they were talking about him or what, he had eventually decided. He knew he was still alive, he couldn't feel anything, but he could hear what they were talking about.
Edward had like where he was before he had begun hearing them speak. He wasn't sure what it was but it was Bella and himself in some sort of forest. To him it was heaven, a place where his mind took him to keep Edward from the hell that his body was currently going through. Shit, he thought, I just hope we all make it to Germany or whatever the fuck they had been talking about.
As soon as his mind closed off again, Edward saw her standing in front of him with her hand on her hip. Bella had never known how cute she was when she did that but he hadn't been able to tell her.
"Wait up Bella, I'm coming." Edward said to the figment as she ghosted across the grassy area.
Damn she was beautiful he couldn't help thinking as he smiled a glorious smile in return.
