Organization Cheese
Author's Note: Hello loyal readers! Yes, I am speaking to all six of you! WOOOT! This is ilovefetamorethanyou again. I've discovered that I have a passion for writing author's notes, so I've stolen that privilege from my sister. WAHAHAHAHA. SO I have a confession to make. ORGANIZATION CHEEEESE... MAKES ME LAUGH! And I'm not afraid to admit it to the world. And yes, it was incredibly obnoxious for me to tell you that I laugh at my own fanfiction. But you know what? I just can't help it. So there. I said it. Ummm sooo... THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FARRR! PLEASE CONTINUE! And tell all your friends, ok? Yup. We're that desperate. Whatever. This fic will keep coming out even if our reader count drops to zero... we just thoroughly enjoy writing it. So, without further ado, let the FANFICTION BEGIN!
Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Gossip Girl, Project Runway or its contestants, The Labyrinth, David Bowie, his music, or...the Backstreet Boys. =] We DO NOT own the lyrics to "Magic Dance," a portion of which is included in the fanfiction below. WE DID NOT WRITE THOSE LYRICS! Ok?
Chapter 7: Scandalicious
"Axel? Roxas? Do you know what's going on?" Sora looked at them curiously.
"Nope," the duo said simultaneously, gaping at the still-hugging pair.
"So… uh… what exactly happened between you guys while Roxy and I were watching Gossip Girl?" Axel was quite frustrated that there was actually something he didn't know…
"What do you think, Axel?" Naminé had a naughty smile on her face.
"Uh…played checkers? I hope…"
"Whaat? What do you think we are? Nerds?" Demyx was flabbergasted at Axel's insane assumption.
"No, silly!" Naminé pated Demyx's chest as she snuggled close to him. "I taught Demyx how to knit and crochet, and we watched Project Runway at the same time! We had a great time—next session I promised we would do embroidery while we re-watched Season 4—Christian's my favorite!"
Axel had the most gruesome look on his face as he fell unconscious from the shock of what had just been spoken.
"NO! Axel!" Roxas leaped from where he was standing and swooped down to catch Axel in time. He glared at Demyx, his look saying "How. Dare. You."
"Phweeee! No way! Naminé, will you teach me how to knit, too? It'll be a great addition to the quilt my granny and I are making!" Riku squealed with excitement.
"No way! Naminé is MY tutor!" Demyx stood in front of her, holding his arm out defensively.
"Aww… but lessons at arts and crafts stores are so expensive."
"Too bad. Look, Naminé made me this!" Demyx pulled his coat apart and threw it off, revealing a white tank top and his underwear. It was embroidered with bubbles. Demyx turned around in a disco-like move and wiggled his derriere. Naminé turned beet red. On the back of the boxers read 'I love Naminé' in blue letters.
"And look!" Demyx reached to his neck where a chain of a star with a face on it hung from a straight line of crocheted yarn. "Naminé made me this good luck charm! HA! NOT YOU, AXEL!"
"WHAAT! NUH-UH, DUDE! NAMINÉ MADE THAT CHARM FOR ME!" Sora yelled.
"Sora! What are you talking about?" Kairi was furious that Sora had accepted a good luck charm from someone other than her.
"WHAAAAAAAAT! I WON'T STAND FOR THIS! NAMINÉ MADE THAT CHARM FOR ME, and ONLY ME!" Riku started screaming as well.
"What? Riku? You too?" Kairi exclaimed.
All three of the boys displayed identical charms and started to argue, pulling out their weapons and assuming fighting stances.
"Die – " Riku's second word was transformed into a *beep* by Sora.
"RAWR!" Sora yelled, unleashing a fierce horizontal slash that was meant to strike both Demyx and Riku. The pair, however, jumped over the slashing keyblade, somersaulting in the air simultaneously, and inflicted instant K.O. on Sora using a dual attack formation. The two instantly rebounded; their one-time partnership had ended. Once landing over Sora's incapacitated body, Demyx and Riku back flipped away from each other instantaneously so they were several yards apart, face-to-face.
Demyx let out a wild chord from his instrument of death, howling along with it. Riku covered his ears, dropping the Way to Dawn and kneeling in pain.
"Ha ha ha!" Demyx laughed in time with the pounding beat emanating from his deadly, poisonous sitar.
Riku didn't know what to do, as he was defenseless against sound waves.
" -!" Sora gained consciousness for an instant, only to censor Riku's naughty language.
"*beep*!"
"You think it's okay that you mess with MY GIRL? As if she had a HEART! I'LL KILL YOU!" Demyx screamed, tears welling in his eyes.
As Demyx was about to pluck a string of doom on his instrument, Naminé ran forward and shouted, "NOOOO! STOP THIS! I'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING!"
"At the sound of Naminé's lovely voice, Demyx was compelled to stop dead in his tracks. Sora even woke up.
"So, Naminé… your explanations better be good – my hatred towards you is depending on this." Kairi had never seemed so… scandalous? Devious? Splendid!
"That's right, Naminé. Why've you been wasting your time with these losers?" Riku gestured towards Sora and Demyx, who then drew their weapons toward Riku now.
"Well, you see…," Naminé started, "It all began – "
"That's ENOUGH. They don't need to hear anymore, Naminé. In fact, they don't need to hear anything ever again. Dance, water, dance!" Demyx howled, furiously plucking the strings of his sitar, sending a flurry of murderous bubbles towards Riku and Sora.
Riku and Sora, unable to pop all the bubbles, were struck by a barrage of hits. They both fell to the ground, clutching their sides and panting.
"Don't underestimate the power of a good song," Demyx pointed his sitar at the two wounded boys while walking towards Naminé. "Naminé…" he said.
"Yes?" she answered.
"You remind me of the babe."
"What babe?"
"The babe with the power."
"What power?"
"The power of voodoo."
"Who do?"
"You do."
"Do what?"
"You remind me of the babe."
"OMG I love that movie," Kairi squealed, "David Bowie is just amazing!"
"I know! He's my HERO!" Demyx exclaimed, turning quickly to look at Kairi, then looking back at Naminé.
"Naminé, I'm sorry you had to suffer through that. I know I'm your one and only man," he apologized to Naminé, hugging her gently.
"Thank you," she sobbed, crying now.
"Wait, what the – "
"*beep*"
" – Is going on?" Riku angrily asked, standing up, leaning on his weapon.
"STOP MAKING NAMINÉ CRY!" Demyx roared furiously, whirling around, his sitar appearing in his hand.
Meanwhile, Axel and Roxas looked at each other. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Axel asked, smiling.
"I believe so, Axel," Roxas replied, returning sneakily the conspiratorial smile.
"SCANDALICIOUS!" both boys exclaimed happily. Axel winked at Roxas. "You know what to do," he said. Roxas nodded. Suddenly they both began running towards the battlefield, waving their arms.
"Wait!" Axel called, "All three of you are wrong."
"Naminé gave that good luck charm to me," Axel and Roxas both said simultaneously.
"WHAT!" everybody but Sora and Riku exclaimed. Riku had actually let out a choice word that Sora had to censor, which is the reason for their lack of participation in the collective 'WHAT!'
"Naminé, you got some *beep* 'splainin' to do." Riku was furious.
"Well, the truth is…" Naminé stuttered… her lips formed into an evil smirk. "I did give that charm to all of you – but my real man is Sephiroth – I just love his long, silky, silver hair – my time with all of you guys made me realize that! Thank you!" she chuckled and smiled.
"Naminé… uh, hello? I've got silky long and silver hair!" Riku was desperate to win the battle for Naminé's love…
"Psh… I'm done with you, babe." Naminé smirked evilly once again.
"NAMINÉEEE! You're… you're so evil! Playing games with our hearts? And I even said you'd never smirked evilly in your entire non-life! How… how… what's gotten into you?" Axel pleaded.
"Ha!" Naminé flipped her hair. "Why, Axel babe, I am quite the actress," she boasted.
Demyx wimply cried, "Get outta my face..sniff…" as he limped out of the room, back hunched, dark cloud looming over him, casting a dark aura around the area, defeated.
"No, Demyx! WAIT!" Demyx perked up and turned as Naminé yelled his name. "MY FEELINGS FOR YOU WERE REAL! IT WAS'T JUST A LIE!" Tears started flowing freely down her face.
Demyx pointed at Naminé. "You—" he collapsed on the floor before Sora could even say "*beep*".
Naminé turned to face the crowd of onlookers, who were now all, except Axel, sitting in their own puddle of tears—even Kairi.
"He'll be out of the picture for a while—you guys can proceed," Naminé explained, as Axel started to applaud her.
"Nicely done. Hey, maybe you should…stick around…a little while?" Axel suggested.
"Naminé batted her eyelashes. "Hm…I guess I could…teehee!" She was back into her cutesy nice girl role…
Thus, as soon as Axel handed out Gossip Girl tissues to all party members to overcome their sorrows, they set off up the stairs, finally advancing deeper into this…interesting…castle.
"Naminé, what's your secret? You're such a great actress!" Kairi exclaimed, "You really moved me!"
"Teehee," Naminé giggled, "What can I say? It must be my deep love for Sephy."
"He does have great hair," Axel chimed in as they continued up the stairs.
"Actually, Kairi, I'll let you in on a little secret." Naminé leaned in and whispered in Kairi's ear, "I'm naturally evil."
"WHAT?" Kairi exclaimed, jumping two feet in the air. Everyone looked at her strangely.
"Teehee," Naminé giggled again, "I hide it well, don't I?"
"Very…" Kairi mumbled, shifting her eyes.
Should I tell them? Kairi asked herself. She mused for a second, wondering what the possible consequences of allowing Naminé to stay in the group might be. Nah, she finally decided, they totally deserve it. She was, after all, feeling a bit evil herself.
Meanwhile, Axel was whispering in Roxy's ear. "Naminé's telling Kairi her big secret."
"What? Something… scandalous?" Roxas asked pseudo-innocently.
"Yes… that she's naturally evil," Axel revealed, "Guess Sephy didn't actually need to brainwash her."
"What? Axel, that's no secret. Everybody in the Organization knows that," Roxas commented, looking at Axel confusedly.
"But they don't," Axel whispered, pointing towards Sora and Riku.
"Oh… OH." Roxas realized the scandaliciousness that could arise from this unfortunate situation.
And he loved it.
