A/N =D R&R!

When I got home I couldn't help but let the tears flow.

I had been holding them in all day and now I let them fall down my cheeks silently. Infuriated with myself so being so childish about the situation I wiped them away with a rough hand, but only more fell, out of my control.

Thank god Charlie wasn't home yet, I wouldn't have to burden myself with making dinner just yet.

I climbed up the stairs slowly, feeling numb, and slammed my door shut, locking it and jumping onto my bed, snuggling up in the covers.

I sat there, staring out my window into the green and the rain and tried to forget about Edward. He wasn't all that great anyways. I mean….really…..there are plenty…plenty of other guys out there much better than him…right?

No, a little voice in the back of my head whispered, of course not you idiot.

I buried my head into my hands and sat there for what seemed like hours, crying away all my anger and stress.

A knock came out my door and I jumped up, startled.

"Bells, you in there?"

Charlie.

"Ya dad," I said, frantically wiping away my remaining tears. "Sorry, I fell asleep for a bit."

"Its okay, come down when your ready, I made some sandwiches."

"Okay, sure, thanks dad."

I listened as his footsteps died away and I slowly got up, letting heavy feet carry me downstairs.

***

The next few weeks at school were horrible.

I felt like a walking brick wall. When someone bumped into me, or stepped on my foot, or if I tripped over something by accident, I didn't feel anything, I felt nothing.

I was numb. Like a thousand packs of ice were pressed onto my flesh.

It was like I was empty without Edward Cullen. I made no effort to meet his gaze in the cafeteria, and he ignored me completely in Biology.

The third week of school with Edward in Spanish I couldn't take the droning voice of the teacher anymore and so I excused myself and started walking to the bathroom, hoping to stay in there for the rest of the day --- it's healthy to skip once in a while right?

I was barely paying attention when I was grabbed by the shoulders and pushed to the wall. My eyes widened in panic and I recognized the person in front of me --- Jasper Hale.

I didn't say anything; I just stared at him in shock.

"Bella, you have to come with me," he said, looking me right in the eye. I felt a familiar haze of sleepiness come over me, but I shook it off.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, panic rising in my voice. I tried to get out of his grasp, but he was so strong.

"Bella, don't you see, we can be together, we can run away together and no one will ever know."

"What are you talking about?" I gasped, trying to struggle out of his grasp even more now. He tightened his grip and I thought I was going to faint from pain, I swear if he grabs me tighter he will break my shoulders.

"We can't be together here, what would they all think? We have to go away somewhere, somewhere where no one from the Night World will know about us."

"Jasper please," I said, struggling to breathe now. Black spots were forming everywhere and I felt like I was going to pass out any second.

But his grip only tightened and this time I gave a tiny yelp, and I felt my eyes roll back into my head.

"Bella please, now is our only chance, come with me."

"No," was all I could manage out. If it wasn't for his super tight grip on my shoulders I would have fallen over by now.

Suddenly the pain was gone, I felt Jasper's hands release me and I felt myself collapse against and wall and slid down so I was on the floor.

When I finally had enough strength that I felt I could open my eyes I did and found myself staring up at not only Jasper but at Edward.

Edward was staring at Jasper intently, holding his left arm.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said, "I lost control."

I was confused. There had been no verbal conversation between the two of them and yet Jasper answered an unspoken question.

I still saw black spots and my shoulders ached with pain, so I stayed on the ground, unwilling to get up and go back to class.

"Bella?" It was Jaspers voice, softer than it had been a minute ago. "Bella, can you hear me?"

I nodded, still not wanting to open my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Bella, are you okay?"

I now forced myself to open my eyes and I nodded. "I'm fine."

For a moment I felt truly and deeply sorry. I gazed into his golden eyes and tried to have the same feelings for him that I had for Edward --- but I couldn't. As hard as I tried, as hard as I forced it, I couldn't do it, and I wish I could.

Jasper grabbed my hand and lifted me up with ease so I was standing on my feet. I shook my head once more to get rid of the dizziness and started to feel better.

"I'm sorry Bella, I won't bother you again, will you ever forgive me for what I just did?"

He sounded so formal, like an 18th century gentlemen.

"Of course, I forgive you." I felt awkward, and didn't exactly know what to say.

"I'll leave you alone now," he whispered, turning around.

I quickly grabbed his shoulder and he stopped. "No, really, please don't ignore me completely can't we be friends?"

I caught Edwards gaze, it was cold and hard but I saw, hidden deep inside, worry.

"Yes. Friends."

I smiled at him and he smiled back, walking away from me, but not before passing Edward and deliberately bumping into his left side.

I started to walk away too, looking down at the floor and walking quickly, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me and almost made me cry out loud. Tears formed at the brim of my eyes and I jerked away violently, grasping at my shoulder.

It was Edward who had stopped me and he now grabbed my arm and marched me out of the school.

"What are you doing?" I shouted trying to jerk away from him, but he wouldn't let go. He led me to the back of the cafeteria, the place where we had spoken so long ago and I had promised to leave him alone, but now he was the one not leaving me alone.

He motioned me to sit, and I obeyed, not knowing what else do to.

"Let me see your shoulders," was all he said.

I rolled down the sleeve of my shirt to reveal my left shoulder and cried out.

My pale skin was covered in a huge black and blue bruise, and as I looked to the other one I saw there was a bruise almost identical to it.

"Jasper," Edward growled, shaking his head in wild motions.

"It wasn't his fault, I defended, touching the tender bruises. "He didn't mean to hurt me, not on purpose."

"I know he didn't, but he did," he said not meeting his gaze.

Annoyed I got up, covering my shoulders back up again and started walking away, ignoring my gut feeling to stay.

"Where are you going?" He asked me, keeping up with my fast pace as if it was nothing.

"To the office to tell them I'm going home, why do you care?" I growled, keeping my pace.

"Bella, sit down, your injured," he replied, grabbing at my arm.

But I only jerked away, keeping the tears that threatened to spill over inside. "No, you told me to leave you alone and that's exactly what I'm doing, so if you'll excuse me."

It was silent for a few moments before I stopped, and as I did Edward did to.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, glaring at him.

He ran his fingers through his hair, a gesture now that I realized that he did when he was frustrated.

"To help you at the moment actually," he said, not meeting my gaze.

"I'm sick of these mind games Edward, either your going to talk to me or your not, make up your mind."

"The thing is Bella I can't seem to get you off of my mind and it's driving me insane." He snapped.

"Well then, try getting Jasper to erase all memory of me, I'm sure that will help," I smirked.

Why was I being like this? One second I want to be around him and the next I'm throwing insults at him and acting like an idiot.

I finally sank down and sat on the grass, picking a couple out and throwing them behind me shoulders.

"Look, I'm sorry. Forget everything I just said, please."

Edward sat down beside me and picked grass too, weaving the longer pieces together.

"Can we at least be friends? Do we not have to talk at all?" I asked.

"Do you know how angry that would make Rosalie?" He replied, continuing to pick grass.

"She's the only one who seems to have a problem with me talking to you."

"Only one?" He chuckled, staring off into the green trees. "You know Bella, Jasper is a very clam person, but there's a limit in which you've already passed.

"He likes me doesn't he?" I inquired.

"I really shouldn't say," Edward said.

"I already no though, he didn't really erase my memory, I remember that whole conversation," I said, recalling when Rosalie had accused Jasper of falling in love with me.

"Yes, and it surprises me why that never worked on you. Or why I can never seem to get into your mind."

I jerked up from my grass picking and stared at him in awe. "You can read minds?" I cried, smiling.

"Everyone but yours," he said, grinning back a crooked grin.

"Well maybe it's because I'm special," I said, turning back to the grass, "did you ever think I might be a Night Person too?"

Edward laughed at that, throwing his head back. "That I highly doubt Bella."

I heard the schools bell system go off and realized, with a shock, that it was lunch already.

"I have to go," Edward said, getting up.

"Wait," I cried, grabbing his arm. I saw now that unlike before he didn't jerk away. "Meet me here again, same class period tomorrow?"

Edward stood there, contemplating.

"Please," I said, willing him to say yes back.

And then he nodded. "Tomorrow."

I sat on the grass until he was out of sight and then lay down, closing my eyes. So, Edward Cullen wasn't lost to me forever, not yet anyways.