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Notes: Hi! Alright, here's Chapter 9 of "Two Worlds." Thank you to the wonderful people who have reviewed—I'm sending you all hugs over the internet! I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own ER.

Mrs. Barnett couldn't believe her ears. She had heard that knock twice before but she clearly didn't think she would hear it ever again, not after the state Neela was in when she left. A smile of relief broke across her face as she went to answer the door.

"Hello, Neela," she said a bit more cheerily than was usually her nature.

"Hi, Mrs. Barnett, how are you?" Neela replied as Ray's mother led her into the house.

As Neela did so, however, Mrs. Barnett couldn't help but turn around and look at her as if looking at someone she had never met before. The tone of Neela's voice, the nuance of her words, had completely changed in the course of twenty-four hours. It was as if she had been unable to speak before now, only to have her nonexistent voice turn into a nightingale's song. Mrs. Barnett wouldn't go so far as to say she sounded 'bright,' but there was something in her that certainly hadn't been there before. She just couldn't put her finger on what it was.

Recovering enough to realize that Ray wouldn't appreciate Neela's persistence as much as she did, Mrs. Barnett made small talk to delay the moment of reckoning when she would have to open his door and tell him that Neela was here to see him. Knowing her son, he would probably say something like, "Did you have to answer the door? You couldn't have just pretended we weren't home?"

She was awakened from her thoughts by Neela's newly-rejuvenated voice. "Mrs. Barnett? Is Ray home?"

Neela watched the conflicted look on her face—Mrs. Barnett was clearly pondering what to do, and from the furrowed eyebrows and the way she looked at her, Neela could tell she wasn't having any luck coming up with an answer.

"Please...I really need to see him. I can't leave without..." She couldn't finish her sentence as a reminder of the immense agony of the last few days came back to haunt her; she stopped herself before it went any further. No, she wasn't going to do this to herself again—all of the corners of her soul that had been filled with pain she would now fill with determination instead.

Neela's last thought was visibly etched on her face, and it was at this moment that Mrs. Barnett realized she wasn't leaving until she saw Ray, no matter how many times she had to come back. This was what had changed in the course of one day, what had inflected itself in her voice.

Acting on impulse, Mrs. Barnett said, "...Okay, come with me." She didn't know if she was being foolish and naive—she liked to think she wasn't—or if seeing Neela would do anything to bring Ray out of his miserable existence, but it was worth a try.

As they walked toward the far end of the house, Neela's heart quickened just enough to reveal her nervousness. Actually getting in to see him had been the first hurtle, one that she would now successfully achieve. But what good would that do if he refused to talk to her? Or if he refused to listen to what she had to say? Neela attempted to stop herself from feeling overwhelmed. Baby steps, Neela. Baby steps.

Mrs. Barnett halted at the door and knocked. "Ray?" She said tentatively.

"Yeah?" He called back, his voice distant and almost reluctant to be heard. At that one word, Neela's breath caught in her throat. She had longed to hear his voice for so long that now that she finally had, she wasn't surprised at the effect it had on her; it had always had that effect on her. But she could hear the hidden misery in that one word and it tore at her insides like nothing she had felt before. All of the wretchedness she had been through and the pain she had experienced seemed to pale in comparison.

Mrs. Barnett opened the door while announcing, "Neela's here to see you." She purposely avoided her son's eyes so as to miss the deathly glare he now gave her. She knew it was coming. "Well...I'll leave you two to talk," she hurriedly said and closed the door behind her.

Ray was sitting in his wheelchair, the contraption parked by the window that he spent so much time looking out of. After turning toward his mother when she had first called his name, Ray now turned back toward the glass without so much as looking at Neela. He didn't think it was possible, but he was feeling even more conflicted these days than he had ever felt before. Her letters...the guitar pick...every time he had made up his mind to be enraged at her for the rest of his life, she had to go and do something to mess with his head, to make him wish that things had been different...

"How've you been, Ray?" She yearned to see his face, look into his eyes...but she couldn't let her simple desires ruin her chance of having the opportunity to talk to him. Neela stood fixed to her spot by the door, afraid that one move toward him would unleash a swift order for her to leave.

Ray's gaze was transfixed out of the window. He couldn't look at her—he shouldn't want to look at her. The memory of the softness of her hair and the way it curled in odd directions when it was wet, the way her lips were so small he could easily cover them with his...Ray had to close his eyes in an effort to shut out the thoughts that were now polluting his mind.

"Why are you here, Neela?" Ray tried to sound detached and nonchalant, but he had never been good at hiding anything from her and now was no exception. Neela could see and hear the painful and conflicted state of his soul as if she were physically touching it.

She took one step toward him and stopped herself. "I...I came to see you..."

He cut her off. "Why are you here?" It was as if he were asking himself the same question while interrogating her; either way, the insistence for an answer was clear.

"I'm here to ask you to forgive me and...and to tell you that I..." Ray broke in for the second time before Neela could say what she had longed to tell him since the moment she had walked in the door.

"What if I can't forgive you?" The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to process the tail end of her sentence. It doesn't matter anyway, he thought. This isn't kindergarten—she can't just say 'I'm sorry' and expect me to take it without...

It was at this moment that Ray's mother burst through the door, telephone in one hand and the other covering the mouthpiece while she said hurriedly, "I'm so sorry for interrupting, but Ray, your doctor's on the phone and he says it's urgent..."

Ray turned around and did everything in his power to avoid looking at Neela. He focused his attention on his mother instead as he replied, "It's fine. Neela was just leaving."

Mrs. Barnett looked dismayed and slightly shocked. "Oh..." was all that came out of her mouth as she handed Ray the telephone. She glanced at Neela and found her standing in the same spot she had left her just a few minutes ago, her shoulders hunched a little bit more than they were, and her eyes a little sadder than they were. Oh for goodness' sake...

"Neela, are you busy tomorrow night?" Mrs. Barnett was glad Ray was on the phone and unable to cut in with some type of loud objection. Neela looked at her with an expression that exuded gratitude at the lifeline she had just thrown her.

"No, I'm not..." she answered without looking at Ray, her words quiet yet resolute.

"Great, then why don't you join us for dinner? We haven't had company in so long—it would be nice to have a new face at the table." At this point, Ray looked at his mother as if she were his bitter enemy, his eyes boring into her as if to say 'I can't believe you just did that...' It was true he was on the phone, but that didn't mean he couldn't hear what was going on between Neela and his mother in the meantime. He felt betrayed. His mother had been on his side; she had been as cold to Neela on the phone as he would have been had he talked to her, if not more so. And now...now she was playing this game as if one night—one dinner—would absolve Neela of all the pain she had caused him; as if he would be able to look at her again the way he used to when...

"I would love to," Neela replied.