A/N ~ don't own Glee
Rated M for mature topics, this chapter contains a flashback it is in italics and bolded
Chapter 9 Blood and Miracles
The Latina watched her two favorite blondes sleep for a few more minutes feeling the love expand in her chest. She slipped her shoes and sweatshirt off and crawled into bed next to DJ, careful not to wake him or Brittany up.
She laid on her right side facing the pair with her right arm over her head and her head laying on it. She reached her left hand over and ran it through her son's shaggy blonde hair. He had his back to her and was still cuddled up in his Mama's chest and Brittany was sound asleep.
Thanks to Quinn and her insistence on plying Santana with food and water, the brunette didn't have a hangover and she was grateful for that. She was tremendously grateful for the love and support of her best friend as well. Quinn had a gift of just cutting straight through the bullshit and getting to the heart of the matter, any matter.
Santana knew she didn't respect her wife or her opinions last night and she was going to make up for that as soon as she was able. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily as she realized talking to Quinn last night that she had never really talked about the traumatic night of DJ's birth. As far as Santana was concerned, she survived it and her wife and son survived and there was nothing else to say, "Oh well, it isn't the first time I've been completely wrong and it won't be the last!"
Just contemplating sharing her feelings of that night with Brittany almost threw her into complete panic mode, Quinn was right; she was going to completely fuck this up. She just needed to calm down and be honest; it was Brittany for God's sake, the brunette knew she could tell her anything.
The Latina closed her eyes and thought back to that night almost eight years ago.
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flashback
Brittany had been restless all night long. After tossing and turning for a few hours, the blonde had gotten up out of their bed and came out to the living room. The brunette had followed her, "Can I get you anything babe? Some herbal tea? Maybe a snack?"
The blonde looked at her wife irritably, "Can you get this bowling ball off of my bladder?" Her crystal blue eyes filled with tears, "I'm sorry Sanny, I didn't mean to snap at you and I didn't mean to call our son a bowling ball." She started to sniffle and the Latina knew a hormone fueled crying jag was about to start.
"Oh baby, I really cannot imagine how uncomfortable you are, come on and let me run you a nice warm bath and maybe you can relax for a little while soaking in the tub. I'll make you hot cocoa and light some candles?" Santana wheedled trying to coax the blonde into relaxing.
"Lie naked in the bath tub looking like a great white beached whale, Moby Britt!" She started to cry in earnest feeling uncomfortable and hostile and fat.
Santana stood right in front of her blonde wife and took her hands in her own, trying to still her pacing, "Brittany, look at me please." Brittany looked into the dark almost black eyes of her wife and saw adoration, "You're a miracle, do you know that? I used to think it was so easy to just want a baby and then go have one but I found out the hard way it's just not something everyone can do. You're doing it for the both of us. You are carrying our son, Daniel Joseph Pierce, our future right there." Santana moved both her hands down to cradle the blonde's stomach.
"I've lived every step of this with you because you've shared it with me. I've felt him move and kick, I've listened to his heart beating so strong, I've watched your little belly grow and expand to hold our precious boy and I have to tell you I've never found you more attractive. I touch your belly and honest to God Britt, I want to throw you down and have my way with you every minute. You just glow, you really do and I couldn't love you or want you more than I do right now. That's the complete truth babe; you're so fucking hot when you're pregnant. Don't get me wrong, you're hot all the time but especially right now." Santana pulled her wife close and kissed her passionately trying to express all her feelings in that one simple gesture.
The blonde sighed adorably and rolled her eyes, "Q is right, you're a total freak!"
Santana laughed out loud, "Hey it takes one to know one! How about that bath, hmmm?"
"Will you sit in there with me and talk for awhile?" The blonde sniffled.
"All night if you want me to! So why don't you sit here on the couch while I run the bath and do you want herbal tea or hot cocoa?"
"The tea I think San. I'm going to sit on one of the kitchen chairs instead of the couch, I can't get out of the stupid thing by myself anymore and it makes me feel bad." She held onto her lower back and waddled into the kitchen and Santana gently helped her lower herself on one of the wood backed chairs.
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Brittany soaked for a little bit but she still couldn't get comfortable, "I'm sorry Sanny thanks for trying but I need to get out now, I'm more uncomfortable in here than in bed."
Santana quickly stood up and slipped both her arms under Brittany's and gently lifted her up, "Put your arms around my neck babe, I don't want you to slip and fall." Brittany did as she was told and gingerly stepped out of the tub onto the mat "Let me grab a towel and your robe."
The Latina helped Brittany dry off and added a few feather light kisses to the back of her neck and shoulders. She helped the blonde wrap up in a big fluffy bath towel and was trying to help her out of the bathroom when the blonde stopped walking suddenly.
The brunette looked back at saw her wife looking very confused, "What's wrong Britt, what is it?"
"I think my water just broke?" She said calmly, "I mean I'm sure it did."
Santana had prepared herself for this moment and she was ready, they had done Lamaze, they had read books, they took classes, they watched videos. Nothing had prepared her for the feeling of complete and utter fear and panic those six little words induced, "I think my water just broke."
The brunette backed Brittany up and sat her down on the closed toilet seat, "Stay here, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, we have lots of time you don't need to panic!" Brittany yelled after her wife's fleeing form.
Santana stuck her head back in the bathroom with a look of outrage on her face, "I am not panicking, I'm Santana Lopez Pierce and I don't panic!" She ran out of the bathroom and into the bedroom madly searching for the packed overnight bag they had ready to take to the hospital, "Brittany where is the fucking bag we packed?" the brunette yelled loudly.
The blonde rolled blue eyes and scoffed, "In the downstairs hall closet where you put it two months ago and where it's been ever since."
Santana was on her knees digging through the bedroom closet, "FUCK, that's right, I forgot." She raced into the bathroom and tried to herd Brittany out of the door, "Babe, come on we have to get to the hospital."
"I think we forgot one really important thing Sanny!" Brittany said in a completely amused voice, she thought she was the one that was going to panic.
"What? What did we forget?"
"I have no clothes on?" Brittany giggled as Santana slapped herself in the forehead and ran to get some clothes for her wife.
The next eight hours progressed rather uneventfully, Brittany's labor was textbook and Santana was helping her breath and did back rubs when the pain got bad. She helped Brittany walk around the halls of the birthing center when she was feeling restless and uncomfortable. The brunette fed her wife ice chips which was all she was allowed. An epidural was performed and some of Brittany's pain went away.
The doctor came in and did another internal exam and pronounced the time almost near when they would go to the delivery room and Brittany could start pushing. Santana called Q and let her know her godson was going to be delivered soon and Quinn couldn't contain her excitement and promised to be there as soon as she could.
The hazel eyed blonde showed up with coffee and magazines and flowers and little bubblegum blue cigars that had a banner that read, "It's A Boy" with a little stork on them. The three friends tried to laugh and talk between contractions.
The nurse helped Santana get into a blue cap and scrubs and little footies to go over her shoes and wheeled both mothers into the delivery room. Quinn kissed both of them with a huge smile and big fat tears rolling down her face.
The brunette was seated up by her wife's head trying to hold her hand and keep her calm in between contractions as it was almost time to push. The doctor said the head would be coming first and then the rest was a breeze.
Following the doctor's instructions, Santana helped raise Brittany up a little into better pushing position and positioned herself behind her wife in order to assist her. Everything was going fine, Brittany was pushing and yelling and squeezing Santana's hand and the nurse was on Brittany's other side giving them both instructions and the doctor was telling them he could almost see the head when the Latina heard a noise that sounded like running water, like a faucet dripping.
She looked around confused and saw the two nurses staring at the floor in shock and she heard the doctor swear loudly and the room went quiet just for a shocking moment that seemed to Santana to last forever. She followed the nurses' gaze and saw a lot of bright red blood all over the floor. Santana stared at it stupidly wondering why everyone was so calm because surely that was a very bad thing.
Just as she thought that she looked over at Brittany and noticed how absolutely and suddenly pale she got, she looked almost gray and her eyes were not a bright vibrant blue but a washed out faded color. Almost in slow motion Santana stood up to find out what the fuck was going on when Brittany's eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed back on the bed.
It was then that all hell broke loose in delivery room #3. The doctor stood up and started barking orders, machines started blaring and alarms started wailing and the both nurses took off running, one out of the room, the other over to try to force Santana out of the room.
She reached behind the steel framed delivery table and hit a button on the wall and more alarms went off and 3 more nurses and what looked like another doctor all came running in.
Through the whole process they had treated Britt with the utmost care but now they ripped the pillows out from behind her head and forced the table head down and the one doctor was talking loudly about her blood pressure bottoming out and the nurse ran back in and hung what looked like blood on the IV stand.
Santana had blindly backed up against the far wall to get out of everyone's way terrified to leave her wife's side. Everyone seemed to have forgotten her for a minute. Suddenly a nurse rushed over to Santana and pushed a consent form in her hands to operate and get the baby out immediately via C-Section.
She was stuttering in shock, "Brittany didn't want an operation she wanted to have the baby naturally; she didn't want any drugs really but definitely not this."
The second doctor, the younger one walked over and said forcefully but still kindly, "Mrs. Pierce it appears your wife's placenta has either ruptured or torn away from the uterine wall, she is bleeding to death as we speak. We have a very limited time frame to save both mother and child. You need to sign this now or they both will die."
Santana grabbed the pen and scribbled her name as they rushed the gurney carrying her wife and child, her life actually out of the delivery room and down the hallway.
The brunette was standing all alone in the middle of the empty delivery room, there was a huge puddle of blood on the floor and blood soaked towels and sheets strewn around the room. She had never seen so much blood that wasn't on the television watching some slasher film.
She was terrified and in shock and unable to move. Her wife and son were in danger, dying according to the doctor and she was powerless. Santana had never been powerless, she had always made her own luck and things always went her way. Tonight she realized how your entire life can be destroyed in one terrible moment and you just had to stand there helpless and watch it happen.
The door opened and she heard a nurse speaking softly and she felt someone gently take her arm and she heard the soft voice of her best friend, "Come on San, we have to go wait in the other room for the doctor to come and get us. You can't do anything in here now."
Santana ripped her arm out of Quinn's grip, "NO! I'm not leaving here; it's her blood on the floor, her life spilled out all over this fucking floor!" Her voice broke and she hated the weakness she heard coming from her own throat.
Quinn walked around in front of Santana and forcefully grabbed both her arms, "This is not your wife lying on this floor; she's in the operating room fighting for her life. This is not your son lying on this floor either; he is in the same room fighting for his life as well. Are you going to tell them that you fought any less hard for their lives than they did? I don't think you could live with yourself if you didn't fight harder than they did tonight!" She said harshly and in a firm voice trying to break through the brunette's pain and shock.
The brunette looked into Quinn's eyes and nodded her head, "Ok, let's go fight for my family Q!"
Quinn breathed a sigh of relief and led Santana from the frightening room filled with her wife's blood.
End flashback
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Santana opened her eyes and stared at her young blonde son and his beautiful mother and remembered it had been 5 terror filled hours of pacing and praying and bargaining with a God she really wasn't sure she believed in anymore before the exhausted looking doctor informed her that mother and son were going to survive. It had been close and they would need to remain under close watch for awhile but they would live.
The Latina remembered collapsing on Quinn and sobbing out her guilt and pain and relief and fear like a small child woken from a terrible nightmare. She remembered her best friend holding her and rocking her and reassuring her until she fell into a coma like sleep.
How could she ever tell Brittany all this? She had to though, she owed it to her and maybe, just maybe, Brittany would understand her side and give up this foolish idea of another baby.
Santana reached her hand out and clutched the back of DJ's shirt protectively and fell into a fitful sleep.
To be continued….. tell me what you think
