Chapter 8A: The Werewolf
The flight did not help to ease Buffy's dark mood. She really missed Spike and Giles had told her that he would see her when she got back. He was leaving for England to bring the Potentials that his Watcher friend had managed to round up. Buffy knew with those girls coming to Sunnydale to be under her care, that the pressure was just beginning to be some kind of leader in this war.
Giles had also told her that Xander would be coming with her to get Willow. Despite, Giles' protests, she knew he was nothing but a glorified babysitter. Buffy did understand fully that they needed Willow right now and she had to be in Sunnydale to help with what to come. But a small part of her did wish that Willow could stay as far away from her as possible. She did want, at some point, to attempt to mend their friendship but right now, she just wasn't ready.
Xander had spent most of the flight trying to make Buffy laugh. She could see how excited he was to see his best friend again and she felt a quick stab of guilt. Xander had postponed his wedding, something she knew Anya wasn't happy about. She knew Xander spoke with Willow every day and it did hurt him, in some way, that Willow was refusing to come back to Sunnydale.
When they landed and made it to where the Coven was, Buffy was taken aback by the natural beauty of the landscape. It was in the countryside and very open, full of trees and flowers. There were small simple cabins set up where she assumed the witches slept. The Sultana was growing more anxious by the moment, uneasy being around so many of them at once.
When Xander suggested that he go to speak with Willow first, Buffy didn't object and sat under the most gorgeous full tree she could find. She took a deep breath and felt a short passing glimpse of peace. Between the fresh air and being away from everyone, she was finding this moment extremely calming. The quiet was amazing. She picked up a very familiar scent and opened her eyes to see her favorite werewolf coming towards her.
She found herself giving him a genuine smile, glad to see her old friend. He gave her a warm smile in return, sitting next to her, and didn't say anything for a moment.
"You smell different," he said factually.
"Like what?"
He shrugged in true Oz fashion. "Less Buffy."
"I'm still me," she assured him. "Just adjusting."
She was very grateful he wasn't asking her if she was OK. His energy was very welcoming. She turned to him, sitting with her legs crossed, and asked, "How did you do it?
Oz seemed to think for a minute. "I realized I can't be two things."
Buffy rolled her eyes and laughed. "Use more words."
"I was Oz and the wolf. So I learned to be Oz with the wolf."
"Maybe step by step instructions, then."
He sensed the sadness in her voice. "It takes time," he tried to comfort her.
Buffy let out a small self-deprecating huff. "Well, I have a lot of that now. Things are about to get really bad, Oz."
"The Coven have been saying that. That they can feel something pulling from under the Earth."
Buffy moved her position, putting her legs out in front of her, and tipped her hand back so that it was resting on the tree behind them. "More like clawing its way out. I won't let it," she promised gravely.
"Of course you won't," Oz said with full confidence. "You're Buffy."
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Willow would be lying if she said she wasn't dreading this day. She had packed what little belongings she had last night. Despite having no sleep, she was still laying in the bed, her mind was racing. She hadn't heard from Buffy once since she left Sunnydale. Actually, the only person she really kept in contact with besides Xander, was Giles. Even that contact was mostly her updating him on her status. She truly missed the relationship she used to have with Giles. However, she understood why he didn't trust her anymore.
Willow rolled onto her side and found herself staring in a pair of familiar eyes. And just like every time, for a brief moment she believed it was truly Tara and not the First. For the last couple weeks, these visits were common for her.
"Dreaming of your dead lover again?"
Willow's soul lurched at the sound of Tara's voice. She grew extremely angry when she noticed that the First had thought to dress in Tara's favorite comfy clothes. "Go away," she hissed.
"I'll leave, but you have to answer a question for me."
Willow just glared at the apparition. Tara's eyes grew soft and her voice lowering to a sultry tone. Her hand reached out, ghosting her fingertips over Willow's cheek. Willow sucked in an involuntary gasp and felt her chest ache as she remembered Tara's touch. "Don't you wish I could touch you?" it asked. "Even if it were a lie?"
The witch's eyes squeezed shut and she prayed to whoever would listen that it leave her alone.
"If you closed your eyes then maybe…you could feel Tara's fingers," it continued. Willow opened her eyes to find the First had dropped the façade and Tara's cold angry gaze was looking back at her. "Don't you wish that you could feel her fingers, instead of her warm blood on your hands?"
Willow jumped off the bed, the words almost physically striking her. Her hands were shaking and buzzing with magic, even though she knew it would be no use against the First. "Why are you here?" she spat out, her voice quaking a bit.
"I want the dark witch," it answered simply. "The one you've been hiding from me. The one who makes the world tremble. Not this pathetic—"
"I am not pathetic!"
"You are choosing to be weak," it sneered "Bu you could be free."
"And evil."
"No," it said firmly. It advanced towards Willow. "Extraordinary. I'm not afraid of what you are, not like they are. You are living your life based on their fear of you."
Willow lowered her gaze, shame painting her face red. "They should be afraid of me."
"Let them fear you."
Willow took a step back. "Why am I so important to you?"
It laughed at her. "Oh, Willow, do you honestly think you won't be mine? The darkness doesn't go away. I will have you because you can't fight this forever. Don't you see? You will always be the villain."
It's head cocked sideways and a nostalgic smile cross it's lips. "You remind me of her."
"Who?"
It waved a dismissive hand. "Ni-al. Why don't you ask your friend Buffy about her? I doubt you'll be exchanging pleasantries later anyway."
Before Willow could reply, a soft knock came from her door. Her heart stopped, nervous to see Buffy but was relieved when Xander's voice was on the other side.
"House keeping," he chimed in a horrible accent.
Willow all but ran to the door and flung herself into her best friend's embrace. Xander held her just was tightly and she was happy to see they were alone in the room when they pulled apart. He was smiling ear to ear and his eyes were glazed with tears.
"I'm so glad to see you, friend of mine," he said, his voice thick with emotion.
"Is Buffy with you?" Willow asked, biting her lip.
A sad look passed over Xander's face. "She's outside. Thought I'd hog you all to myself for a bit."
Willow fiddled with her hands. "Did she even ask about me? Like…before?"
Xander didn't answer and Willow knew the answer. "I can't go back there," she panicked. "I'm glad I'm staying with you. I can't be in that house again. I'm not ready."
"Wil," he said gently. "Sunnydale is your home. You have to come home. I can't get married without my best man."
"Can't you just get married here?" she joked weakly.
"Whatever you do, please do not mention a destination wedding to Anya. That, I don't think I could forgive you for."
Willow slumped down onto the foot of the bed. "Buffy and Dawn hate me, don't they?"
"They just need some more time to process everything."
"I don't want you to have to pick sides."
"Don't do that," Xander said almost angrily. "Before any of this ever happened, we were best friends. It was me, you, and Jesse against the world, remember? When we met Buffy, the whole world changed, but that doesn't change. You both are my girls."
Willow choked up at his impassioned speech. His hand squeezed hers.
"You've both gone through a lot," he continued. "I think you guys need to fix this. Maybe it won't be right now but—"
"If Buffy….If Buffy wants to fix this," Willow corrected. She could feel a small pit of anger building in her stomach. Buffy must really not want me in her life anymore, a small voice nagged at her. In the corner of the room, the First was back as Tara. Willow tried not to look, as to not alert Xander.
"All Buffy wants is to kill you. Do you still not get that?"
Willow wanted to argue, but the words died on her tongue. Buffy was the most powerful being she knew. Actually, it had been confirmed by the Coven that she was the most powerful being walking this Earth. To not view Buffy as a threat, would be a misstep on Willow's part, but she still saw Buffy as her friend. Although, she had to consider that Buffy may not see her that way as well.
When Willow looked up again, the First was no longer in the corner.
Instead, the real Buffy was standing in her doorway.
