A/N: Hi! First, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all for reading this story:)

I did notice there was a lack of reviews on the last chapter and I was hoping that wasn't because you all hated it!! Hate it or love it, please let me know what you're thinking. That's the only way I can improve, right?

Anyway, thanks again for even taking the time to read this. :)


Chapter Eight:

Jude bolted up, her chair catapulting backwards as she stood.

"What?" Jude yelled in shock.

"I want you to come home. We all do," Kwest commented, instantly regretting the use of the word "all".

Jude scoffed, thinking that the "all" Kwest had mentioned couldn't possibly include her estranged husband. "I'm sure that's not true," she mumbled, as she pulled her chair back to the table and sat down.

"Actually, it's more true than you think," Kwest pushed, but he could see by the stubbornness on her face that this was not the way to approach things. He instantly changed gears, deciding that if he was going to get anywhere with her, he'd have to use his secret weapon.

"Sadie is anxious to see you. Especially now…" he trailed off, unsure of whether to mention the pregnancy. He'd seen how painful the loss of Jude's baby had been for her. She had completely closed off from everyone, and he could see that she still was.

The worry hit Jude fiercely as Kwest mentioned her sister. "What do you mean 'especially now'? Is something wrong?"

"No, no!" Kwest clarified immediately, reading the panic on Jude's face. "Actually, she's…pregnant."

The shock was clear on Jude's face. She couldn't help it. She knew she should have expected this since her sister always wanted a family. But she still couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions at the announcement. She felt joy for Kwest and Sadie's news, but also sorrow at the cutting, horrible reminder that her little girl would have been two if she were still alive.

She looked up into Kwest's expectant, nervous eyes and gave him a tremulous smile. "Congratulations. Tell Sadie I'm happy for you both," she murmured, looking away from Kwest and shuffling the papers she and Speed had been working on.

"Why don't you tell her yourself?" Kwest suggested gently. "She misses you. I miss you. Please, Jude," he pleaded hopefully.

"I can't, Kwest… I just… I can't. And even if I could, I'm working with SME for the next few weeks here. And then I'm headed home."

"We could work in Toronto for the two weeks," Speed instantly piped in. "Nothing's set in stone about us working here, in this office. They do have a BlackStar office in Toronto, and I'm sure we could use it instead." Jude turned her head to glare at him in betrayal. She felt like they were ganging up on her.

"And you could all stay with me and Sadie. We bought a big, new mansion when we found out about the baby. We have lots of spare room."

It wasn't just her friends that were turning against her. Her own thoughts, and her cracked and broken heart, were urging her to go home. Her mind kept returning to how wonderful it would be to see Sadie again. To hug her sister and feel like part of a family again. And what about her dad? She didn't even know if he was still in Toronto.

Before she could stop herself, the question spilled out of her mouth. "Is my dad still in Toronto?"

Kwest smiled. "Yep. Actually, he and Yvonne married and they don't live too far from Sadie and me. Your dad got a promotion and is out of town on business a lot. But he still asks us every time we see him whether we've heard from you or not."

Jude felt the guilt pressing down on her. Also, the yearning to see her Dad was overpowering. They had had such a close relationship, he must have been so hurt when she left two years ago without so much as a goodbye.

Going home sounded so…good. But before she got swept up in all the reasons she wanted to go home, the truth of why she left reared its ugly head.

Tommy. The words he'd spoken. She could never forget why she'd had to leave.

She was done with Toronto. She couldn't make a life there. Not where he lived.

Kwest could see her pondering her options, and as her expression turned into a sad frown, he knew her thoughts had shifted to Tommy.

"Before you ask, yes, Tommy still lives in Toronto. Still works at G-Major. And I will warn you, because you're my sister-in-law, that he's still a fucked up mess. Worse, actually."

Oh dear. Could she go back and witness that? Deal with all of that again? She thought by moving to a different country, with a new identity, that she could finally avoid all the drama that being in Tommy's orbit brought with it.

But then again, she thought as she looked down at the gleaming gold band, she had chosen to be in his orbit. She'd thought she'd be in it forever.

"I can't… I can't face him…" she whispered, her voice rough with emotion.

Kwest shot a look at Speed, hoping for some help. Speed leaned forward, taking Jude's left hand in his.

"Look, dude. You need to deal with him. With this." Speed held her left hand up to show off the ring she still wore. "For once and for all, you need to deal with your past so that you can move on." Jude sighed, seeing the obvious truth in his words. "I'll be with you every step of the way. I'll never leave your side if you don't want me to," Speed added, trying to coax her into making the choice to go home.

The last thing Speed really wanted was to force Jude to see Tommy again. But she needed to. If she still loved him, then she needed to be with him. And if she needed closure, then she needed to end things for good. Whatever she did, she couldn't live in limbo any longer. She couldn't live any more pretending to be "Noelle Harris", rejecting everything that was important to her because of what had gone on with Tommy. He may not have gotten much out of his experience with Karma, but he did learn the importance of letting go.

Kwest and Speed both stared at her, watching her as she processed everything they had said to her. They simultaneously held their breath as she opened her mouth, ready to reveal her choice.


Kwest crept into the bedroom he shared with Sadie, happy to see that she was sound asleep. He removed his clothes quickly and slid in beside her, trying his best not to disturb her. The flight home had been long, plagued with a couple delays, and he couldn't wait to curl up next to his wife and fall asleep.

As he settled into the comfortable bed, Sadie turned over, nestling into his side. "You're home," she mumbled, still mostly sleeping.

"I am," he whispered. "Go back to sleep."

"Where's my present?" she muttered lowly. Kwest had to restrain his laughter. Only Sadie would remember in her sleep that he'd promised her a gift. "Tomorrow, babe. I promise," he whispered, and he heard silence in return. Her breathing deepened and he knew she had fallen back to sleep. He closed his own eyes, and his exhausted body only took minutes to fall into a peaceful sleep.


Had she made a huge mistake? Jude kept asking herself this question over and over again. What had brought her here?

It was 3:30 am and she was standing in front of G-Major, just staring at the place she used to call her 'home away from home.'

"Going in?" Speed asked, standing beside her, much less in awe of the place than Jude obviously was.

She looked away from him, wondering just how big of a mistake she had made coming back to Toronto. She guessed she would find out soon enough.

She had told Kwest and Speed that she would return home for two weeks, and that she wasn't promising anything. But now she wasn't even sure if she'd make it through one day.

As soon as they'd arrived at Kwest and Sadie's, Kwest had begun to head up to wake Sadie. Jude had insisted he let her sister sleep. It was 3:00 am, after all. Kyle and Wally had headed for their rooms, drained from the flight. Those two were still a lot like little kids and they needed their sleep. Kwest had mentioned, in passing, that Jude's '67 Mustang was still in the garage. Her eyes had immediately lit up as she'd inquired where the keys were. Kwest had sleepily answered that they were in the kitchen, hanging with the rest of the keys. He'd given Jude a house key and explained about the alarm system, and then he led Jude and Speed to their respective rooms and headed to bed himself. Only minutes later, Jude had reemerged from her room and headed down the stairs to the kitchen, grabbing the familiar keys from the hook. They hadn't even changed the keychain.

She'd locked the door behind her, rushing out to the garage. And she'd almost had a heart attack when she'd seen Spiederman leaning against the car, waiting for her.

He laughed at her shocked expression. "What? Did you forget I know you better than you know yourself, dude?" He continued laughing as Jude unlocked the car to let them in.

They'd settled into the seats, and Jude looked around her, running her hand across the familiar seats and then the dashboard. She had missed this car.

"If you're done fondling the car, you mind telling me where are we off to?" Speed has asked.

She rolled her eyes at Speed's crude attempt at humor and shrugged her shoulders, honestly not sure. She just knew she couldn't sleep. And driving in her car had always been a source of freedom and relaxation for her.

She had driven away from Kwest and Sadie's home, the car practically driving itself as it lead her to the building housing the familiar record label, where she'd spent her formative musical years. The building she now stood in front of, deciding if she was going to go in.

She could see that there were some lights on, although she'd checked the parking lot for any of Tommy's many cars before parking the Mustang. She knew he could have gotten a new car, but all the cars in the parking lot were far too practical, and definitely not flashy enough, for Tom Quincy's taste.

"Let's go," she whispered to Speed, leading the way up the stairs. She reached for the door handle but it was locked. And then she remember that to get into the building this late, you needed to be an employee of G-Major. She looked down at her key chain, which still had her old key card on it. She swiped it, figuring it was worth a try. And to her complete disbelief, it actually still worked.

She shot a stunned look at Speed as she pushed the door open. The lobby was deserted and she stepped tentatively further into the building. She felt like she was trespassing, that the police would pop out any minute and tell her she didn't belong here.

She was amazed at how little about the building had changed in the two years she'd been gone. The paint, the arrangements of desks, everything was the same. In some ways, she felt as if she'd never left.

The sound of someone whistling broke through her thoughts and she stopped moving, frozen in place. That whistling was all too familiar. A sound she'd heard her entire life.

Jamie turned around the corner into the lobby, his step faltering when he saw the woman standing in front of him. His whistling halted and he stood absolutely still, just staring at her.

It couldn't be. After all this time.

"Jude?" he asked weakly, as if he was afraid that she wasn't actually here.

Jude sucked in a deep breath at the sight of her old friend. "Jamie," she said simply, quietly. And before she could say anything else, he ran forward picking her up in a firm hug. He held her tightly, afraid that if he let her go she'd slip through his fingertips. And he couldn't let that happen again. He'd missed her too much.

"Jamie… I can't breathe," she whispered finally, a touch of laughter in her voice, and he was forced to let go. He kept a hold of her hand, though, still in disbelief that she was actually here.

"Where the hell have you been?" Jamie asked, a glint of hurt showing in his vulnerable eyes. She looked over at Speed, indicating without words that she needed some time alone with Jamie. Message received, Speed trailed off, beginning to explore his old workplace again.

In Jude's life, there were only three people who could affect her so deeply that her soul actually ached for them: Tommy, her Dad, and Jamie. And the look of sadness and hurt reflecting in Jamie's eyes broke her heart.

And for the first time in two years, it hit her that the impact of her flight from Toronto affected a lot more people than just her and Tommy. The selfishness of her choice hadn't been so evident when she was far away from the people she loved. But looking in Jamie's eyes, she realized just how incredibly selfish she had been.

"I'm so sorry…" she whispered, the tears swimming behind her eyes. She grabbed onto Jamie and hugged him again. "I'm so damn sorry," was all she could say.

"You know," he whispered, "when you left without a word, I wanted to hate you. And I really should still be mad at you. But I simply can't do it. I'm just so glad you're here." She released herself from his grasp to look at him. She could feel part of the barrier around her heart beginning to crack.

This wasn't good. If she planned on leaving again, she couldn't let herself feel like this again.

But then again, with Jamie standing in front of her, tears behind his own eyes, how could she not. This was her best friend, who cared about her unconditionally. A man she had hurt more than he had deserved, and yet who still couldn't even stand to stay mad at her.

"I'm glad to see you, too. I've missed you," Jude said, wiping a tear away that had begun to slide down her cheek. For two years she hadn't allowed herself to cry. And now, within two days, she had cried twice. What was happening to her?

"Are you back to stay?"

She should have said no. Absolutely not. Two weeks and she was leaving, going back to a life where she could live in absolute anonymity. But for some reason she couldn't say that to him. "I'm honestly not sure."

Jamie sighed, knowing he'd have to accept that answer for now.

Speed sauntered back into the lobby tentatively, not wanting to interrupt the moment. It was Jamie who turned to him. "My best friend and Vincent Spiederman back all in one day?"

Speed walked forward, hugging his old friend and ex-manager. "It's actually a very weird turn of events."

Jamie eyed them both curiously, and he caught Jude yawning widely. "Which will all have to be explained tomorrow. You look exhausted, Jude."

"I guess the craziness of the day has just started to hit me," she commented, yawning again.

"Well, I'll let you go if you promise me you'll explain everything."

Jude honestly didn't want to go through everything again. Telling Speed had drained her emotionally. But as she peered into her friend's eyes, she knew she owed it to him. Owed him some sort of explanation, anyway. "Alright, I promise."

"Meet me tomorrow for lunch, okay?"

Jude nodded, hugging Jamie once more before heading for the exit, Speed following closely behind.

"Give me the keys, dude."

Jude couldn't stop yawning. But that didn't mean she wanted anyone else driving her car. God, she thought pensively, she sounded like Quincy. Why was it the moment she arrived in Toronto, he was the only thing she could think of??

Acknowledging that she really shouldn't be driving, she dropped the keys in Speed's palm and jumped into the passenger seat, leaning her tired head against the window. She mused silently that after the last few days, she couldn't even imagine what the next day would bring…


Jude's eyes fluttered open, and she took in her unfamiliar, undecorated surroundings. The next thing that hit her was how uncomfortable she was. She looked down at her body, which was still clothed in the outfit she'd worn the day before. She noticed a note on the bedside table and reached for it.

Hope you had a nice sleep. By the way, I think you need to gain some weight. Carrying you should be a little more difficult than that.

Speed

She couldn't help but laugh out loud. Only Speed would leave such a ridiculous note.

She must have fallen asleep in her Mustang last night on the way home. Oh well, at least it didn't sound like Speed had too much trouble getting her in the house.

She swung her legs out of the bed, and walked over to her suitcase. She rummaged through it, picking out a pair of jeans and an old Ramones t-shirt, before heading to the bathroom to get showered and changed.

As she crossed the hall to the bathroom, she heard a lot of noise and laughter downstairs. She could pick out her sister's high-pitched laughter instantly. She felt a tug to go directly downstairs, but she continued to the bathroom, needing a few minutes to wake up, freshen up, and collect herself before seeing Sadie.

After seeing Jamie last night, she couldn't stop the feelings of guilt washing over her. And if anyone had the right to be angry, it was Sadie. She certainly didn't deserve to be abandoned by her own sister.

After lingering for twenty minutes in the bathroom, she finally made her down the stairs. She took every step slowly, afraid of falling in her nervousness.

She was too lost in her own thoughts to concentrate on the fact that the boisterous laughter had stopped. In fact, there was now only muted conversation, and Kwest's anxious voice saying to someone, "Thanks for stopping by. I'll see you later," in an extremely dismissive tone.

But Jude didn't notice any of that. If she had, she could have avoided walking into her worst nightmare. She could have avoided walking into that living room at that exact moment.

Because when she turned into the room, she knocked right into the chest of a departing Tommy Quincy.