Destruction

Chapter 9- Confrontations, Consolations and Communication

"Fucking cunt." Rosalie muttered while throwing her carry-on at me. With swift reflexes, I caught the pink leather bag.

"What the hell is your problem Rosalie?"

"I don't have one. Maybe you do. That's fine; Tanya can settle it for you."

Ahh, so they know. So Alice decided to tell Bella and Rosalie herself. "Where's Bella?"

"She's fine. She's inside with Alice. I'm waiting at your car." Before I could go and focus on finding Alice and Bella, Rosalie murmured something about a useless Emmett. Well, it comforted me that one of the guys would get some form of chiding too. I hope. But knowing Rosalie, she'd just deprive him of sex.

Finally, after seemingly forever, I saw the two girls emerge out the revolving doors. I tried helping with the bags but both didn't even dare look me in the eyes. Bella was shrinking into Alice so before she even ran away screaming bloody murder to me, I stopped attempting to touch her or hold her. "Bella, can we talk when you're settled?"

"No."

"I have a lot of things to say… a lot of apologizing and explaining to do, Bella. Please." I was this close to begging, to falling on my knees, to pleading.

"No."

"Can I do anything to appease you? Bella, I need you to hear me, please?"

"No."

By now, we were already at my car and after she got in the backseat with Rosalie, Alice slammed the passenger seat and when I opened my mouth to talk to her, she gave me the finger. Looks like I messed up again. I always mess up. I don't know why I even bother trying, why I even bother caring.

I drove both girls home and got ready for Alice's verbal scolding. Surprisingly, it never came. She rubbed her temples and sighed heavily. I tried touching her, but she cringed away and it felt like a slap on my face. My little sister was never this cold, never this detached from me. She practically lived to get closer to me. I was losing Alice… When we reached home, Carlisle and Esme weren't home yet so we didn't have a little act of being happy siblings yet I didn't know if she'd tell our parents of my deeds anyway. She probably will. There's more disappointment for me.

"She knows."

"I figured Alice… How did you tell her?"

"I didn't. I showed her the message you sent me." Ahh… the message, I remember what I sent.

Alice, I've fucked up greatly. Tanya called me, she caught Jacob fucking another girl, and she was really in love and she ran away crying and she was depressed and she called me for comfort and I told her I'd go with her with tissue and alcohol. I asked the guys to come, because I swear I wanted to comfort her only, nothing more. But she was there in this tiny dress and she was needy, and depressed, and oh my God, I haven't done anything with anyone since I met Bella, and I usually have a different lay each week, and It's just been so long and I was so depressed and needy too and Tanya was fucking willing, she jumped me and forced herself on me, and got a reaction, and I went down on her but I stopped. She told me if I didn't continue, she'd tell Bella, but I felt so bad and dirty. And I want to tell Bella, but I don't know if girls like honesty this straight. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her. Tanya means nothing. Bella, Bella, Bella is everything.

"Then?"

"She broke, of course. Rosalie called Tanya, screamed at her, and Tanya somehow pacified Rosalie. Turns out, Tanya said the same story you did, how she forced it on you, and this pleased Bella a little bit. I tried protecting you bro, I really did. I told Bella, technically, you didn't cheat on her, since she wasn't even your girlfriend yet, and she took it the other way around. She said then that she's glad, or else you would've ended cheating on her. I told her it would've ended differently. I told her things always have a reason. She kept questioning your past, whether a person can really change so much. She was moping. I was all for comforting, but you know how Rosalie is. She didn't take Bella's drama well. She told Bella to quit being a hag, and actually do something about her feelings for you. She won't keep you, but doesn't tell you too if she wants to keep you or not? Rosalie told Bella you were a person, not a toy. And she told Bella, she's a grown up, no longer a child. They ended up fighting, and I'm just so stressed."

"I'm sorry Al." I didn't know what else to say.

"She'll talk to you. She will. Just, not yet." So I hugged my little sister, knowing that when all the girls pull away from me, and all the relationships fail, Alice will never leave my side.

So I waited for Bella. I've been increasingly good at that, waiting for her. But she never tried to talk to me. Whenever I'd try talking to her, she'd walk away from me. I went to their house, and Charlie told me to leave, but he told me in a nice way, so I'm guessing he didn't see me as such a cruel man. She requested for a change of classes. All her classes were now different from mine, and her classes would always end up in the farthest building from mine. She deleted me off her Facebook, and blocked me from her Twitter. She changed her cellphone number, and the Chief didn't allow me to talk to her via house number. Rosalie and Bella never talked anymore, but I was still very thankful that she sat with us. Alice, Bella and Jasper went out every day after school and I could see this taking a toll on Rosalie. She was losing Alice. So while I was prioritizing Bella, I accompanied Emmett and Rosalie out. While they would love being on dates alone, it still felt different if it was a friendly outing. And right now, Rosalie was hurting over losing a friend.

I'm not sure I also account for losing a friend. Tanya kept her distance from us, and the few times I caught her staring at me, she looked apologetic. I tried a nod and a small smile once to tell her I wasn't angry (although I was a little angry, but on both of us) but I don't know if she saw it. She started hanging out with other people, people I knew but not well enough, all I know is it was a good crowd. After all, Tanya would be leaving Forks High, might as well mingle and subtly leave a good memory of herself with other people. That was what she wanted.

So…Bella, Jasper and Alice were out.

And just like that, our hexagonal pack was down to a triangle.

Until one day, Alice was just out playing pool with us.

"So the little midget decides to play. Where's your damsel in distress Ally?" Rosalie snapped the moment Alice came over to our pool table with Jasper.

"She's been hanging often at La Push. What, don't give me confused looks, we haven't hung out for weeks."

"What bullshit are you feeding us with?" Rosalie was relentless. "Rose, that's enough cursing, please." Jasper murmured but gave Emmett a straight look. Emmett slowly brushed Rosalie's golden locks around her shoulders. "Baby, let's be nice to Alice. She looks like she has important things to say."

"After the Seattle trip, Bella's truck broke down. The battery died and she had it brought to the mechanic who restored it, which we all know is Jacob. He told her the truck needed to restarting daily to keep the battery alive since it was in critical state due to its age. That's the last proper conversation I had with her."

"But, why?" This time Emmett asked.

"Well, she took the truck to La Push. She'd tell Jasper and me that she needed a lift to La Push to view her Chevy. So for a week, we drove her there, and someone else'd drive her home. Jasper asked why the repair was taking so long, when it only needed a battery change, and Bella never answered us properly. I was getting suspicious and irritated, because after we drove her there, every single day, we didn't know where you three were anymore, so Jazzy and I have been having all these pretty dates…"

"Alice." I cut her off, she was getting dreamy eyed and distracted.

"Sorry. So anyway, after that first week, Bella started hanging out with Jasper and me. So it was all cool. Then yesterday, I asked her where her truck was. And she snapped at me, telling me I didn't have to lie. She knew Jasper and I was tired of her ass, and didn't want to give her lifts anymore. It was totally not that, I swear. We didn't mind, but we wished we just had an update on Bella's life. She stomped away from us, and today, when we came to fetch her from her house, the cruiser wasn't there, and Bella was gone too. She was at school, so Charlie must've driven her. We were shocked to see her at lunch, and she talked to us as if last night never happened. But, after school, Bella was already gone. I asked Jessica, since they're in last period together, and Jessica said she took off with some tall and dark man."

"Something's wrong with her." Rosalie murmured and I gave her a glare, to which she just shrugged her shoulders. I silently prayed to God that Bella was safe.

After that day, for one whole week, Bella Swan never showed up for school. And no one in my group of friends bothered checking in on her. While Alice wanted to, Jasper stopped her. He loved Bella, but he loved Alice more, and he didn't want Alice to feel the rudeness of Bella anymore. Rosalie didn't want to, so Emmett didn't want to. I would try, if only I knew I had a shot. But when the weekend rolled in, I decided. I'd go and see her. Five weeks without Bella was too much. Hell, a day without Bella was too much.

I called her house, hoping she'd talk to me but since no one answered, not even the Chief, I figured two things. Either, she was home, or they weren't. Either way, Charlie wouldn't be there to shoot me. I took this a sign to go and pay her a visit. I asked Emmett and Jasper for reinforcement, but they refused just because of their girlfriends. I swear, they were so whipped they were useless friends. I wanted to play around and ask for their man card but I bit my tongue, remembering I was on a mission to confront my girl? (Was she even still my girl? Was she ever really my girl?) They tried telling me to give her more time and space, but oh my God, she has so much space, and the time I gave her was so much already. I was starting to think it was doing more damaging than fixing. It was damaging more. Sometimes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, or it clears your head. But with Bella, I was terrified that she rolled with 'out of sight, out of mind'.

For my mistakes with Tanya, I was terrified to remember, but forbidden to forget. It was a constant fault in my head, whenever I remembered it, my heart ached and disgust with my own self flooded my stomach, yet if I pretend as if it never occurred, well then I'd be digging my own grave.

I'd do anything to win her back; maybe she had a thing for Lloyd Dobler. I'd pretend to be Chuck Norris, hell I'd try everything just to get her to talk to me, just allow me to explain, and if my explanation isn't enough and she really wants me out of her life, I'd do that I'd leave her. If she really wants that. God, I hope she doesn't want that.

Her front door was unlocked and I entered, mentally scolding Bella for being so careless. She was on her bed, asleep. There was a bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor, empty. I shook her and she didn't wake up. I went downstairs and got her aspirin and water and some candy. "Bella, Bella…" I shook her harder and her blood-shot eyes opened.

"Edward."

"We need to talk. What's happened?"

"Edward." Her voice took on a harder tone, like a parent when they're about to scold their child.

"Bella, please, let's talk about things. You and I aren't fine. Can we talk?"

So fast that I didn't even see it coming, she threw the covers and stood up. She was in nothing but her underwear and an oversized shirt, and her messy hair, if not for the situation; I would've found her very, very sexy. She slapped me across the cheeks twice and started screaming.

"Fuck you, Edward. Fuck You!" I listened to Bella's tears and screams, remembering everything; that untimely night while she was in Seattle, the weeks of silence, the weeks of her avoidance, me not trying hard enough, finding distraction in Rosalie and Emmett, her heart breaking, my heart breaking. I could see her remembering things while I did. I could see the chronology-taking place in both our heads.

"We never should've done this; we never should've started this. Were different, were different." She cried and sobbed and I could physically see the heartbreak on her face, I pulled her tight against my chest despite her protests. I never once regretted pursuing Bella, she has taught me so much, she has given me so much, and I have given her something too. We've worked hard for our relationship- if you can call it that- and despite the problems, I've never regretted anything. Each tiny step brought me new understanding, taught me how to love, and taught me how to take care of feelings of another person. Each of my stupid mistakes taught me something chidings won't teach me and everything with Bella whether good or bad, just really lead to a greater bigger picture.

"Hush, love. I don't regret anything- each mistake, each decision, each fuck up still brought me closer to you." She remained silent and at that time, I just really needed her to hear me out.

"Bella Swan, I'm in love with you. And this feeling won't go away any time soon."

She whipped her head and frantically looked me in my eyes, panicking over what I said. I was confused women were confusing. Didn't girls usually love assurance that they're loved? Her frantic gaze turned guilty, and solemn. She was shutting me out, again. I was just about to explain everything, apologize for everything when she abruptly cut me off.

"Edward, there's something wrong, I might be pregnant."

But, how?

AN! Which apologizing style is your favourite? Uh-oh! Who's the dad? I'd honestly love someone to go Lloyd Dobler on me, Hahaha.