Izumi woke up in the middle of the night because her stomach was killing her.
"Must've been that fish Kisame cooked…" she muttered sleepily as she stumbled into the bathroom. She reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out the bottle of Tylenol. She swallowed two of the small white pills and gulped down a mouthful of water from the small cup with her kanji on it. Then, she chewed two tropical fruit Tums and hoped that would be good enough. She decided to go into the living room and watch TV until her stomach felt better. At some point during some pointless late night cartoon, she fell asleep on the couch.
"Ohayo Izumi-chan!" Deidara cried. Izumi groaned and opened her eyes, only to snap them shut again. The light coming in from the living room window was making her head pound even more than it already was.
"It's time to wake up sleepyhead…yeah!" Deidara said.
"Not now Deidara…" she muttered. "I'm tired. Go away." Deidara shook her shoulder.
"But don't you want to eat breakfast…yeah?" Izumi shook her head.
"My stomach hurts too much…" Deidara walked away. Izumi curled into a ball and hugged her stomach. She felt sick. Her head was pounding and she felt like she had a fever.
"What's wrong with you?" Tani's voice asked. Izumi opened her eyes and looked at her younger sister.
"I think I'm sick," she replied.
"Tachi-kun!" Tani yelled. "Izumi's sick!!" Izumi covered her ears.
"Do you really have to yell? My head is killing me." Itachi walked in and looked at his younger sisters.
"What's wrong now?" he asked.
"Izumi says she's sick," Tani answered. Itachi put his hand on Izumi's forehead.
"You don't have a fever," he told her. "You're fine."
"But I don't feel fine."
"Trust me. If you don't have a fever and you're not gushing blood then you're fine."
"But…"
"I SAID YOU'RE FINE!" He walked away.
"Alright. Geez…" Izumi sat up and rubbed her stomach.
"Maybe Kisame's cooking made you sick," Tani suggested. Kisame loomed up behind the youngest Uchiha.
"What did you say?" he growled.
"Your cooking sucks," Tani snapped.
"How DARE you!" he yelled. "You try cooking for all these ungrateful people! None of you appreciate the subtle flavor of fish!"
"It tasted like lemon cardboard last night," Tani quipped.
"You were obviously born without taste buds."
"I was not!"
"Will you two shut up!?" Izumi yelled. "My head is pounding!" Kisame walked off, leaving the girls alone. Suddenly, Izumi shouted in pain and jumped off the couch.
"What?" Tani asked.
"I just…my stomach…I feel like I'm getting stabbing in the gut."
"Well…you're bleeding," Tani said. Izumi looked at the couch and saw blood on the cushions.
"ITACHI NII-SAN!!!" she screamed running into the dining room.
"What?" he asked.
"I'm bleeding!"
"Where? I don't see any wounds."
"Well…it's…you see…" Izumi stammered as her face got hot with embarrassment.
"Where Izumi?"
"Um…my…down there…" Izumi was bright red now.
"Your foot?" Itachi asked looking at both her feet.
"Higher."
"Your leg?"
"Higher."
"Your…oh…that…that…that's where you meant…" Itachi seemed very embarrassed when he realized where Izumi was talking about.
"She has blood all over her shorts," Tani said. "It's all over the couch too."
"What's wrong with you?" Itachi asked. "Take off your shorts and let me see."
"NO!!!!" Izumi shrieked. "YOU ARE SICK!!!" (He is now very confused. He was only trying to help…)
"Well how else am I going to see the wound?"
"There is no wound!"
"Then where's all the blood coming from!?"
"I DON'T KNOW!!" Itachi grabbed Izumi by the arm and dragged her into Deidara's room.
"Do you know why Izumi is bleeding?" he asked the blonde Akatsuki member.
"No…it's coming from her shorts though, yeah! So she should…take them off…yeah!"
"NO!" Izumi shouted. "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SEE ME WITH MY PANTS OFF!"
"I did," Itachi said.
"I was in diapers," Izumi snarled. Zetsu and Tobi walked in.
"What's going on?" the white half of Zetsu's face asked. "We heard shouting…is everyone all right?"
"We smell blood…." The black half said. "Can we eat whatever's bleeding?" Izumi clung to her older brother's cloak.
"Tobi, there's blood on the couch," Itachi said. "Go clean it up."
"Hai! Tobi is a good boy!"
"Tobi is Zetsu's bitch," Izumi muttered as he bounced out of the room.
"So can we eat it?" the black half asked looking at Izumi when he noticed that the scent was coming from her.
"No you can't," Itachi said.
"And I'm not an it!" Izumi cried.
"We could look it up on my computer…yeah!" Deidara suggested. Itachi nodded and sat down at Deidara's computer.
"How…how the hell do I work this?" he asked.
"I'll do it…yeah!" Deidara said waving at Itachi to get up.
"Tobi!" Zetsu called.
"Hai Zetsu?" Tobi asked coming into the room again.
"Go to the store and buy us some books on parenting a teenager," the white half of Zetsu's face commanded.
"Hai!" Tobi bounced out again. Izumi leaned over Deidara's shoulder to see what he was looking at. He had Googled "Bleeding from the private area".
"It came up with over one hundred pages of results!!!?" Izumi cried. Tani peeked over Deidara's other shoulder.
"Click on one Dei-kun," she said. He did as she asked and their eyes all widened.
"It's a…" Izumi said. "It's a porn site….oh God Tani don't look!" She clapped her hand over the younger girl's eyes.
"Shut it down Deidara," Itachi ordered. Deidara groaned and clicked back to the search site.
"This might have been a bad idea," Izumi said taking her hand away from Tani's eyes. Tobi returned and handed Zetsu three books.
"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi said.
"Yes you are," Zetsu replied. Itachi took one book and handed another to Sasori who had just walked into the room. The third went to Deidara but it had to be taken away and given to Zetsu since Deidara would only look at the page with the diagram of the naked teenage girl. (Does he have the mind of a teenage boy or what!?)
"It says here that if she has bleeding, a headache, and stomach cramps then she is having her period," Sasori said.
"Mine says that too," Zetsu agreed.
"Mine says that as well," Itachi said. "A period…hmmm…I believe I recall mother mentioning having one…."
"It says it should last three to five days," Sasori said. "Seven at the most. For the symptoms you should take Tylenol or Pamprin." Izumi sighed.
"So this is normal?" she asked.
"'Course it is!" Tani said. "I heard Ino and Sakura talking about it when Itachi and I were in the village."
"When did they start?" Izumi asked.
"When they were twelve. Hinata said she started when she was thirteen."
"So I'm late!?" Izumi cried. "All the other girls started before me!?"
"You're just a late bloomer," Itachi said.
"At least you have boobs like all the other girls," Deidara commented staring at her chest. Izumi smacked him.
"Pervert!" she yelled.
"Tani-chan?" Itachi asked.
"Hai Ita-kun?"
"Did you know what was wrong with Izumi-chan all along?"
"Um…well…hai…"
"And you didn't tell us because…?"
"Because I love torturing Izumi nee-chan!"
"I see."
