Ever since they left Sweden's place, China was unusually quiet. When Russia asked if he was alright, China shook his head, saying he was just exhausted from the day's events. Russia nodded his head and told him to sleep on the airplane; he would wake him up when they landed back in Beijing. China agreed without much of a fight, laying his head contently on the Russian's large shoulders. Russia hummed a soft, gentle lullaby. China would have smiled at the other nation's antics- he was old enough not to be sung to sleep- but he couldn't. This was probably a lullaby Russia would have hummed to their non-existent child. He closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep, a dull pain stabbing at his heart.
"Yao, are you still tired?" Russia asked when they arrived home, depositing their luggage on the floor.
China mutely nodded his head, heading for their bedroom. He was emotionally tired; at least he wasn't lying about that. He laid in bed, staring listlessly at the while ceiling. Russia had followed him into the room, worried. China didn't say anything as Russia silently laid beside him, holding him close.
"Did I do something wrong?" Russia whispered into his hair, "Even if I don't know what it was, I'm sorry."
China shook his head, his hands clutching tightly to Russia's shirt. Not a word passed between them, the house was deathly silent. Time ticked by slowly, neither able to sleep. Every tic-toc of the clock, increased Russia's anxiety.
China was breaking away from him. Even though every inch of their bodies pressed against one another, China felt an eternity away. He didn't understand why. What happened between seeing Sweden and they're flight home?
"Yao, do you want to be with me?" Russia's soft voice seemed to reverberate loudly through the quiet room.
"Of course I do." China buried his face deeper into the larger nation's chest, hating with every fiber of his being the bulge separating him and Russia.
"Forever and ever?" Russia chuckled with relief, unaware his own happiness was the cause of China's distress. "We'll be together forever won't we?"
China swallowed hard, "Forever is a long, long time, Ivan."
For some reason, in this intimate moment Russia was building for them, tears were forming in China's eyes. Russia was holding him so gently, trusting him with his whole being. He was holding him like a delicate treasure, afraid he'll shatter if held too tightly but unable to let him slip through his fingers. This warm body heat, this comforting scent, China didn't want to let this go. Ever.
Russia ran his hand through China's black strands of hair. "You know, Yao, I realized something today," He spoke softly as he kissed the smaller nation's forehead.
When China didn't answer, Russia continued. "I know I was a little afraid in the beginning, but when Berwald came to us…and I felt the baby kick…I'm not scared anymore. I realized it's an amazing thing to be a family."
A hand reached down to touch the dead, lifeless thing strapped against China's stomach. Russia's warm hands didn't reach China's skin. "I realized, my genes and your genes are mixed together forever in our babies. It's a record of our love."
"It's an 'eternal love', Yao," Russia nuzzled against China's neck, his happiness barely contained. "Even if we're separated again for 50-60 years, a part of me and you will always be together here, with our children."
He placed a hand beneath China's chin and lifted his face up, revealing to lilac eyes a tear-stained face.
"Are your mood swings hitting you again?" Russia asked, kissing away the tears.
China shook his head, his arms wrapping around Russia's waist tightly. Why were tears falling from his eyes, China didn't even understand it himself. How can his heartache for something that never existed in the first place?
Tomorrow. He was going to tell Ivan the truth tomorrow. He'll accept whatever punishment Russia would give him, but for now, he just wants to hold Russia close, listening to his steady breathing.
A/N: I felt a chapter involving Yao feeling guilty was needed because, well, what he's doing is pretty much a jacked up thing to do. He needs to redeem himself a little bit no?
