A/N: Hey guys! I hope you all had a nice weekend! To everyone reading in the U.S., I hope you enjoyed your Memorial Day. As always, I want to thank everyone for your reviews of this story so far, they keep me motivated to stay on track with the updating. Also, welcome and thank you to all the new follows and favorites! I started editing this chapter after I posted the last one on Thursday and reworked it a little to make it longer. And I feel like I've been stuck in my car all morning driving to and from appointments, so I haven't had time to respond to the last chapter's reviews, but I should be able to get to them tomorrow. Enjoy the next chapter and I'll see you all at the bottom...
The brightness shining in through the front windows woke Emily from her slumber. As she rolled over and stretched out her tight and achy muscles, she slowly opened her eyes. As she looked around, she noticed that she was still on the couch from the night before, but she was now alone. She looked out of the window and could see the morning sun shining brightly in the winter sky. The smell of freshly brewed coffee hit her senses as she noticed Hanna standing in the kitchen with a steaming mug in her hand. The blonde's stare was fixed onto the island in front of her and she didn't notice Emily stirring from the couch.
"Morning…" Emily said as she slowly made her way toward the kitchen.
Hanna jumped slightly at the sudden noise, but meet Emily's gaze with a small smile. "Morning," she replied, before returning her sight to its previous spot.
There was an awkward silence that hung in the air as Emily reached into the cupboard for a coffee cup. Emily could sense that there was something on the blonde's mind, and she could only assume that it had to do with the fact that Spencer had to drag her ass out of a bar at eight o'clock the night before. Emily decided against delaying the inevitable and went instead with biting the bullet. "If you have something to say to me, Han, you can come out and say it." Her tone wasn't defensive, but was definitely more assertive than it typically was.
Hanna side-eyed the brunette pouring herself a cup of coffee and preparing it how she liked. She watched as Emily turned around and leaned back against the counter, bringing the warm liquid to her lips. She cleared her throat as she thought through how she wanted to word what she wanted to say. The last thing she wanted was a fight with Emily after Alison told her what kind of state she was in the night before.
Hanna tried to be a quiet as possible as she entered the loft. She turned slowly and noticed Alison awake on the couch holding a sleeping Emily. A soft smile crossed Hanna's lips as she took in the sight before her. Emily was sound asleep on top of Alison, her arms holding onto the blonde's waist as if her life depended on it. Alison had one hand on the small of Emily's back while the other was softly playing with the raven tendrils atop her head. Anyone could see how much her two friends loved each other. Sometimes, Hanna thought that they were the biggest obstacle in the way of their happiness. They were both incredibly stubborn when they wanted to be, and she was afraid of what more damage could be done before one or the other, or both, decided to take their heads out of their asses.
She slowly made her way to the couch and crouched down close to Alison so they could whisper and not wake Emily. "Spencer said she would stay in your guest room if you needed her. You're more than welcome to stay here."
Alison shook her head softly. "No, it's ok, I should get going. Can I talk to you, though?"
Hanna nodded her head in silent agreement as she stood up and headed towards her guest bedroom, which had become Emily's temporary home. Alison very slowly maneuvered her way out from underneath Emily so that the brunette was laying into her side. She smiled softly as Emily shifted further into her side and tightening her grip around her waist. She really didn't want to leave the brunette after what she had just been through, but she knew it was for the best. She knew that Hanna would take care of her. She removed the brunette's arms from around her waist and slipped off of the couch. Emily mumbled incoherently, but remained asleep. Alison padded softly into the guest bedroom and shut the door quietly behind them. Hanna took a seat on the guest bed, waiting expectantly for what Alison wanted to talk to her about.
Alison sighed as she stepped closer to Hanna to keep her voice quiet. She could see in her eyes that she was still upset that Emily made her way into a bar, but her eyes had softened significantly since being at her house earlier in the evening. "Don't be too hard on her, please Hanna?"
Hanna looked up at her. "What do you mean?"
"I can tell you're still pissed she went to that bar." Hanna scoffed in agreement and folded her arms over her chest. "I am too, Han, trust me. But what I walked in on… I've never seen anyone so broken before in my life. The sobs that left her body, no one should ever have to feel that pain." Alison shivered as goose bumps erupted all over her body as the memory of Emily's cries came to the forefront of her mind. "She had lost all hope. I told her that I needed her not to, that I needed her to believe that we could be ok one day, but I don't know if she really heard me."
Hanna sat there in silence, listening to Alison's words. A small smile appeared on her face as she realized that Alison wanted to try to make things right with the brunette. Hanna finally rolled her eyes and uncrossed her arms. "Fine, I'll be nice to her."
Alison laughed softly. "No, you can still give her hell, but just don't be too harsh."
Hanna chuckled. She knew exactly what Alison meant. She definitely wasn't going to let Emily's indiscretion slide, but she was going to have to broach the subject carefully so that Emily didn't feel ambushed. "So, if you wanted Emily to not give up hope, why did you have dinner with the hot cop?" Hanna wiggled her eyebrows at Alison.
Alison rolled her eyes as she took a few steps closer to the bed. The guest bedroom was decorated in Hanna's style, but Emily had put a few small touches on the room. Alison could pick them all out in a heartbeat. She smiled to herself at the feeling of feeling close to Emily, even though Emily was sleeping soundly on the couch in the living room. She plopped down onto the bed next to Hanna and blew out a breath. "First of all, he's not hot." Alison scrunched up her nose at the words. Sure, Lorenzo was cute, but she felt no attraction towards him at all. Hanna gave her a disapproving look and Alison laughed. "What? He's not my type."
"That's right, he has a penis," Hanna quipped and Alison slapped her arm playfully.
"No, that's not it." Alison rolled her eyes at Hanna again and the blonde just laughed in response. Alison's mouth pulled down into a frown as she continued. "I'm just not attracted to him like that. And it wasn't a date. We just bumped into each other on the street and he wanted to know if I wanted to have dinner with him." Alison dropped her gaze and stared at her hands pulling absentmindedly on her fingers.
"How do you know him, anyway?" Hanna's tone had lost all of its teasing and it was now soft. She could see how hard of a time that Alison was having with all of this.
"He was the first cop to respond to the accident when I was pregnant." Alison flinched as the memory of Emily's limp body lying unconscious next to her in the mangled heap of metal flashed through her mind.
Hanna reached around and put her arm around Alison's shoulder, pulling the woman into a side hug for comfort. "Oh, so he knew about Emily, then?"
Alison let out a sigh as she briefly allowed her body to relax into Hanna's embrace. However, she missed the feel of Emily's embrace in that moment. Hanna's arms didn't feel the same and deep down, Alison knew that no one would ever feel to her the way that Emily felt against her skin. "Yes. But like I said, it was just dinner, it wasn't a date. It was just nice to get away from it all for a little bit, you know?" Alison sat up, allowing Hanna to drop her arm from her shoulders and ran her fingers through her hair. "After Emily left earlier, I just needed to clear my head. Like I said, we bumped into each other and it was just nice to be normal for once. To spend time with someone who didn't know how fucked up my life had become."
"Hey, your life isn't fucked up, Ali." Alison gave her an incredulous look. Hanna snickered before she continued. "Ok, so it's a little fucked, but honestly, whose life is perfect?"
"Yours," Alison breathed out.
Hanna laughed, her eyebrows raising up in surprise. "You think my life is perfect?"
Alison blew out a breath. "Well, yeah. You and Caleb are so in love. I've never seen you guys seriously fight and you have this amazing loft you call your home. I have a house full of memories and no one to share them with."
Hanna placed a hand on Alison's knee. "You know, Caleb and I haven't had sex in over a month."
"Ew, Han, I don't want to know about your sex life." Alison scrunched up her face in disgust.
The blonde held up her hands in defense. "Just listen," she huffed out. "I've had crazy baby fever, since basically you had Jessica, but it's been really hard. I became obsessed with getting pregnant, to the point that I told Caleb we could only have sex during my most fertile days during my cycle. I read that having sex more than that reduces the chances of getting pregnant."
"I don't think that's how it works, Han," Alison said slowly.
It was Hanna's turn to roll her eyes at the blonde next to her. "Yeah, I know that now, but I'm too stubborn to admit that I was wrong. So he's refused to give me anything until I admit I was wrong and that I'm too controlling of this whole baby thing."
"So what are you saying, Hanna?" Alison loved Hanna, but sometimes the blonde's stories would make absolutely no sense to her.
"I'm saying that no relationship is perfect. They all have their highs and their lows. What you and Emily are going through is probably the lowest low that you will ever have, but if you guys can get through it, you guys will be able to make it through anything this life has left to throw at you." Hanna reached across and gave Alison's hand a tight squeeze. "You guys have more love for each other than I've seen two people have. You can't let that kind of love go to waste."
Alison felt a tear slip down her cheek at Hanna's words. She quickly wiped it away and wrapped her arms around Hanna's shoulders. "Thank you," Alison said softly before she stood up and reached into her pocket and handing Hanna back her keys.
Alison exited the guest room with Hanna close behind her. She leaned up against the wall as she watched Alison quietly make her way over to the sleeping brunette on the couch. She leaned over and grabbed the throw blanket off the back and draped it over Emily, making sure she was completely coved. She then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Hanna wanted to gush at the scene, but held her excitement in as Alison closed the main door to the loft behind her. She turned on her heel and grabbed her phone out of her pocket, sending off a quick text to Caleb for him to be quiet when he came in because Emily was asleep on the couch.
"How are you feeling today?" Hanna decided to get a gauge on the brunette's mood before delving into the main topic she wanted to discuss.
Emily took a sip of her coffee before she spoke. "Mmmm, okay, I guess. A little headache," she shrugged as she took another sip of coffee. "You?"
"Umm, I'm ok." Hanna turned around to face Emily. "Listen, we need to talk."
Emily took a deep breath and looked into the dark caramel colored liquid in her mug. "Hanna, I'm sorry, ok. I should have never even put myself in that position."
"Why did you, though?" Hanna gave her a questioning look.
Emily set her mug down on the counter and pinched the bridge of her nose. She really didn't want to have this conversation so early, but she knew there was no way out of it. She just hoped that her headache wouldn't intensify because of it. "Seeing her with him, and how happy she was…" Emily fought back the tears threatening to make an appearance. "It was like my world completely shattered and it hurt so much." A single tear slid down Emily's face. "I didn't think I had anything good in my life anymore. Like my one hope at happiness was lost." Another tear slid down her cheek before sniffling and taking a deep breath to stop their flow.
Hanna instantly softened at Emily's admission. She could see the turmoil that her friend was going through. Even though Hanna had always thought that Emily had done all of this on her own, she could see in that moment that one of her best friends was hurting. And she was hurting more than she ever had in her life. She pushed herself off of the island and stepped across the small space, placing her hand on the small of Emily's back.
Emily instantly crumbled into the blonde, dropping her head onto the blonde's shoulder as she let the tears flow freely. She wasn't sure if she was crying because of the pain that she was going through, or if she was crying because for the first time since staying with Hanna, she felt like everything could be ok in the friendship they shared. She had messed up with so many people over the past year and couple months that she wasn't sure she would be able to fix any of them. But she could feel that Hanna cared about the fact that she was hurting and genuinely sympathized with her. That feeling alone sent a wave of relief through her body.
Hanna gently wrapped her arms around Emily and rubbed soothingly up and down her back. She waited a few minutes until Emily's cries subsided until she gently pulled away. "You have Jessica you need to think about, Em."
Emily sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "I know. That's why I didn't do it. I had the glass to my lips, but the memory of her laugh from yesterday came rushing into my head. I knew I couldn't do it. That's when I reached out to Spencer."
"You did the right thing."
"You're not mad at me?" Emily asked softly.
Hanna blew out a breath before giving her a small smile. "I was. But how can I stay mad at that face!" Hanna said in a baby voice as she pinched Emily's cheeks, trying to lighten the mood.
Hanna was successful in getting the brunette to laugh and she pulled the blonde in for a proper hug. "Thank you, Han. I'm sorry I put myself in that position. I don't plan on doing it again"
"I know, Em. I know."
The two women stayed in the embrace for about another minute before breaking apart and finishing their morning coffee together. Afterwards, Hanna made her way to the bathroom to get ready for her day and Emily made herself comfortable on the couch. She took the time to think back to the night before. To how she hadn't in a million years expected Alison to show up and comfort her, but she did. She was there, and she held her and made her feel safe. A smile spread across her face as she remembered back to Alison's words to her.
"You are my forever happiness. Please, Em. Don't give up hope for us. I still need time, but I can't have you give up on us."
Suddenly, she felt hope emanating from her soul to the tips of her fingers and toes. She truly believed Alison's words and in her heart knew that things could be repaired between them. She was hopeful that one day, her heart wouldn't hurt as much as it did and she hoped that one day Alison would forgive her for the pain that she put the blonde through. She listened when Alison said that she needed time, and while it hurt to hear that, she knew that the blonde wasn't completely pushing her away. For now, Emily knew that she needed to focus on Jessica, so that's what she was going to do. She grabbed her cell phone and sent Alison a quick text.
Hey. Thank you for last night. I'm sorry you had to see me like that, but I appreciate you being there. – Em X
I'm glad you are feeling better.
Emily smiled reading those words from Alison. They weren't in a great spot, but she knew that Alison was genuine in her statement and it made her feel good. She bit the inside of her lip as she nervously continued typing.
I was wondering if I would be able to see Jessica at all today? – Em X
After a few minutes, Alison still hadn't responded. The first response was almost instant, and now Emily was nervous that she had overstepped. A few days ago, Alison had made it seem like she could see Jessica whenever she wanted as long as they weren't busy, but now Emily was afraid that last night had ruined that. Did Alison think that she was going to start drinking again after going to the bar? We should have talked about last night before I asked to see Jessica, Emily internally chastised. She quickly tried to back track.
It's ok if not, I was just wondering.
Alison instantly felt bad for not getting back to Emily right away. As long as she is sober, Alison would never stop Emily from wanting to spend time with their daughter. Jessica had already missed out on so much with Emily that it wouldn't be far of Alison to keep them apart. As long as Emily was clean and sober and wasn't a danger to Jessica, nothing in Alison's mind justified them not spending time together. She quickly sent a reply.
No, no. You can, I was just trying to figure out a time. Would you like to come over for dinner?
Emily's smile lit up the entire living room. She felt giddy as her fingers flew across her screen.
I'd really like that. – Em X
How about 5:00?
I'll see you then. Should I bring anything? – Em X
Alison sat with a shy smile on her face as she tried to stop the blush that was creeping up her face. She had to admit that she saw fragments of her old Emily coming back to her and she couldn't stop the excitement that her heart was feeling. Her head was still telling her to protect herself, but with each second that she spent with Emily, the pull of her heart grew that much stronger. She knew in her heart that they would be able to fix their relationship, but they needed to have at least one long, hard talk before that happened. Alison was betting on them needing several, though.
No, thank you, just yourself.
Emily felt like she was on cloud nine at that moment. She was going to be spending the evening with her daughter and the woman that she was still so madly in love with. She felt like nothing would be able to bring her day down.
As Hanna came walking back into the living room, she noticed the goofy grin that Emily had plastered across her face. "What's with the face?" She asked as she plopped down next to the brunette on the couch.
"Alison invited me over for dinner tonight," Emily said, excitement evident in her voice. She continued to stare at her phone, rereading the conversation that had just transpired over and over again.
Hanna gave her a playful nudge and wiggled her eyebrows. "So I shouldn't expect you back tonight?"
Emily just giggled and rolled her eyes playfully, knowing full well what Hanna was really insinuating. "How about we get through a conversation where one of us isn't angry or hysterically crying before we even start thinking about sleepovers?"
Hanna just laughed as she snuggled into the brunette's side. They fell into a confortable silence watching trashy reality television before Emily eventually made her way off of the couch, heading into the bathroom to get ready for her day. She had an A.A. meeting to get to before making a stop on her way over to Alison's.
A/N 2: Ok, so Alison didn't spend the night, but I thought it was cute at how loving and gentle she was with Emily before she left. There wasn't a ton of Emison in this chapter, but Hanna was kind of the main person her. What did you guys think of both the convos with Hannily and Hanison? I felt like Hanna was kind of like their guide. Like, Emily and Alison had this super emotionally charged moment, and they maybe needed a little help to figure out what it all meant. Let me know your thoughts and opinions as always! Thanks guys, have great week and I'll be back again on Friday!
