Chapter 9: An Argument From Hell
Bruce and Selina screamed at each other. It was the worst argument they ever had.
"Why can't we go out and have at least one fun night, without you trying to kill someone?" Selina yelled.
"I wasn't going to kill him!" Bruce yelled back. "I was just going to scare him! He tried to touched you, and honestly you seem like you didn't mind!"
"WHAT!? OK Bruce. You really wanna go there? Then let's really get into it. Let's talk about every issue we've ever encountered. I'll start. You go down on me too much!"
"What?"
"It's selfish. You act like it's for me, but really it's to show how great you are!"
"So, i shouldn't go down on you as much?"
"NO!... That's not what i said. Don't try and spin this as a way to not go down on me as much. That's ridiculous. Of course I want you to go down on me that much."
"So... take it down a notch?"
"No! No keep going down on me. Forget this whole part of the argument, okay? Forget that."
A few minutes later, Bruce and Selina found themselves making out on the couch. Her tongue engulfed his.
Bruce pulled away for air. "I'm so glad you apologized." He said.
Selina looked at him confused. "I didn't apologize." Her confused look turned to a look of anger. "Wow, I did not apologize! Are you serious?"
"Aw shit." Bruce groaned.
It was one of those arguments that led to much smaller arguments that they couldn't even remember how they got there.
"It was Black and Blue!" Selina yelled.
"It was White and Gold!" Bruce yelled back.
A few minutes later it was...
"Tom Brady!" She yelled.
"Joe Montana!" He yelled back.
It truly was an argument from hell that led very late into the night. Selina was pacing back in forth going on about her emotions as Bruce sat down and struggled to stay awake.
"I've been through a lot this year, and of course I'm going to have some ups and downs, but that's why I need to stop and ask myself if i'm going to follow the river or am I going to make decisions in my life? And with us having a baby..." She looked over at Bruce and saw he was dozing off.
"You're sleeping!" She yelled.
Bruce flinched awake. "Nope." He replied.
"You were just asleep!"
"No I wasn't."
"Ok, good, because I am not even close to done. I have a lot of thoughts and I'm very comfortable right now talking to you like this."
Bruce continued to stare at her, but he wasn't listening. He was just thinking about letting his head hit the pillow and getting some sleep. Somehow he found a way to fall asleep with his eyes open.
Selina continued on for a moment before she realized he wasn't listening.
"Wake up Bruce! You're totally sleeping."
"Nhnh." Bruce groaned.
"That's so creepy! You were sleeping with your eyes open! Don't ever do that again! Now listen!"
"I was listening."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah."
"Then what'd I just say?"
Bruce took a second to answer. "You said... 'wake up'."
Bruce had made plans the night before to meet Clark for breakfast at their favorite restaurant. Even though he hardly got any sleep, he wanted to make good on his promise given the vulnerable state Clark was in.
"We had a horrible argument last night." Bruce informed him as he yawned.
"I'm sorry man." Clark replied. "It was my fault wasn't it? My stupid speech at your engagement party"
"No we had already settled that. We argued about something else. Just so much arguing recently."
"Yea well get used to it. That's marriage buddy. My folks still go at it, plenty."
"At one point i told her i had to get some sleep. And she said, 'NO'!" Bruce quoted in a deep voice. "She sounded just like the exorcist. Like 'NO'!"
"You guys are gonna be okay, right?"
"Yea. We got a lot of our problems out... Hopefully. It's just been super stressful with the wedding and with the baby coming."
Clark was in the middle of taking a bite of bacon and almost choked. "Baby?" Clark shrieked.
Bruce groaned, realizing he let the cat out of the bag. "Um. Yeah. She's pregnant."
"You're the father right?"
Bruce starred at him with a fire in his eyes. "Well shit i hope so! Anything you wanna tell me that might make me think otherwise?"
"No. No. No. i didn't mean it like that. You know i just ask any stupid question that pops in my mind."
Bruce calmed his tone down. "I love her. And i can't wait to have a kid with her. We just need to settle some things first."
"Are you sure you're ready for a kid?" Clark asked
"Of course." Bruce replied. "I'm already worth billions. I have my company i'll be running soon, and i have got the girl of my dreams to live it up with. I'm set."
"Rub it in why don't you." Clark sighed.
"You asked!" Bruce replied
Clark paused for a second "... Okay, fair enough. But i have one question."
"Shoot."
"Is Selina still mad at me? About that stupid speech i gave?"
"Clark you literally told everyone she doesn't blow me... She's gonna hold that one against you for a while. Get used to it"
"Aw man."
