Author's Notes: This chapter's mostly about Harry and Lucius. Next one will have Draco in it, I promise. Because my exams are now over, I decided to dismiss consistency and raise the word limit of my chapters. Therefore, the next chapter will be longer, but will also take longer to write.

Chapter 9

New Bonds

He was awake but he was dreaming. He had no physical body; yet he could hear, he could see. There was a lit fireplace and two men standing in front of it, conversing quietly.

"Why does he continue to remember nothing? It's been days since he's woken up, Severus, days. It should have come back to him by now. The shock should have worn off. Never mind the healing properties of the protective sphere, all those doctors we brought to speed up his healing should have healed him mentally as well as physically. Why does he not remember a thing?" Lucius bit, gripping his cane hard while looking at the fire grimly.

Snape followed Lucius' gaze onto the dancing flames and prolonged the silence for a while. Harry could have sworn that Snape's eyes flickered to the place where he was standing for a moment before they settled back on Lucius thoughtfully.

"I suspect that he's blocking the memories, Lucius. They're all behind a wall. A very dark and strong one, at that." Snape replied softly.

"How?" Lucius turned his sharp eyes onto Snape. "He was never even half-decent at occlumency. I remember this distinctly because you always seemed to be complaining about it."

Snape's lips turned up in a half-smile. "Yes, he was rubbish at that. I do not know how he managed it."

"Oh, come now, you must have a theory? Your mind is always filled with those," Lucius teased.

"I'm not sure," Snape said reluctantly. "But I believe that his mind did it to protect itself. Maybe the memories were too over-bearing. It simply could not deal. So it blocked them out. Hid the painful memories behind a wall."

"Well that's absurd." Lucius frowned. "Are you telling me that his whole life was nothing but painful memories? There must have been some happy ones there."

"I'm not so sure," Snape murmured. "I think that his memories, even the happier ones, were still laced with worry and misery. I judge that some of the more powerful memories will break through the wall. No wall is perfect, no matter how powerful the protective magic. Some will slip through, and he will know some details of his life. But unless he breaks down the wall, and it will take great magic and will to do that, he will never retrieve his memories."

Snape looked straight into Harry's eyes as he said this. Harry wasn't sure if he was glad or sorry when Lucius changed the subject.

"Then I suppose we can't worry about that now," Lucius said dismissively. He scowled at the ground and after a pause, continued in a hushed tone. "Narcissa hasn't come out of her room for a week now."

Harry had never seen Lucius as distressed as he was at that moment. Every muscle in his body was tense and sadness had settled over his features. He looked much like a wrecked old man and not the intimidating man with the cold eyes that had terrified Harry to his bones.

"She's gone longer than that before," Snape said curiously, wondering what was worrying Lucius so much.

"It's worse this time." Lucius whispered dreadfully. "It feels different. She won't even look at me when I speak to her."

Snape put a gentle hand on Lucius' shoulders. Lucius looked over his shoulder at him with a start and straightened up, all signs of despair leaving him. Snape removed his hand and stared at it as if he wasn't sure why he'd offered it in the first place.

"Draco seems better however," Snape said in a forcefully cheered voice to fill in the awkward gap. "Doesn't he? He showed up for dinner."

"Yes, he hasn't done that in a while, has he?" Lucius muttered distractedly. "It's for him though, isn't it? I see it. The way he avoids looking at him. The way he's dying for just a glimpse. His pride gets the best of him. He's a Malfoy, after all."

"He came for Potter?" Snape frowned, confused. "Why would he care?"

"Don't you see it Severus?" Lucius looked into Snape's eyes inquisitively. "He didn't have a care in the world before. He didn't know night from day. Always musing, lost in his day dreams, or out, partying and drinking. He laughed in our faces at our attempts to wake Potter. Said that 'the Golden Boy always turns to disappoint, so why should he change now?' Said that he would be better use dead than alive. Now he suddenly cares enough to protect his life? Cares enough to go back on his own words? To stand up to all of us and say that Potter would be better use kept alive? He cares enough to show up for dinner in a decent manner without throwing snarky comments around?"

Snape raised his eyebrows at Lucius. "We'll see, I suppose, if anything comes of it."

"The Potter boy is nothing if not stubborn. He will refuse Draco, the same way he did the first time they met. Memories or not," Lucius shook his head in denial and looked at Snape reproachfully. "Some things never change."

Snape looked away quickly and the tension in the room rose. Harry wondered what in their past was the cause of this tension while the silence stretched on. Snape looked at him one last time with sadness bright in his eyes, and then the image of the cosy room faded away.

xXx

The next morning, Lucius called Harry to see him. He was sitting in a big and heavy chair with a glass of firewhiskey in his hand and a frown on his face. Harry approached him cautiously. His stomach was twisting itself into knots and his hands were sweaty again. He was so nervous that he didn't even dare pat them dry on his pants.

"Harry," Lucius looked up slowly. "May I call you Harry?"

His tone was so gentle that Harry was shocked enough to nod his head. He had called him Harry at dinner without asking him anyway. He doubted saying no would stop Lucius from doing what he wanted. He wasn't sure if Lucius was drunk or not, but it was clear that he had stayed up all night. They were in the same room that had been in his dream last night, and if he had doubted it before, now he knew for sure that it wasn't just a normal dream. It had really happened, and Snape had wanted him there for a reason, using their mental connection to pull his dream-self through.

"Very well. Harry, let's be honest with each other for a while. Let's put all the lies and games behind that door and look in each other's eyes and speak nothing but the truth until we leave this room." Lucius suggested. As serious as his tone and expression were, Harry couldn't help but be doubtful. Lucius rolled his eyes, something that he definitely would not have done if he had been completely sober.

"Here, I'll go first, how those that sound?" Lucius offered. "I'm very, very tired, Harry. I don't have time for games. Asked me five years earlier, and I would have loved to threaten you and spin you in a circle and make you wear yourself out until you bowed to me and forgot yourself completely. What's the point in that now? You've already forgotten yourself. If you don't remember me, if you don't hate me with a passion, then where's the fun in that? Where's the fun in breaking something that has already been broken?

"I want to get out of here, Harry." Lucius leaned forward in his chair, holding Harry's eyes. "You are my ticket out. Now that you don't remember anything, I could tell you that we used to be very close before this. That you adored me. That you would do anything for me. But that isn't true. And you know it, don't you, Harry?"

Harry searched Lucius' dim eyes. He decided that Lucius was in fact very drunk. But he was tired of lying too. He wasn't sure what life was supposed to be like, but he was certain that it wasn't supposed to be this hard. Filtering every word he said, just to make sure that Lucius wouldn't hear them. Wondering if he was being spied on every moment of every day. Wondering if his thoughts were safe. He didn't want it anymore.

"I remember disliking you. I remember being on opposite sides," He whispered slowly. When Lucius looked at him suspiciously, he hastily added, "I don't remember anything solid. No details… just a feeling."

Lucius dipped his head in what Harry supposed was confirmation of something that he had suspected before. He looked at Harry more soberly.

"Severus said that your memories are most probably put behind a wall by your own mind, trying to protect itself from all the hurt." He looked at Harry sadly, as if pitying him. "You must have had a tough life."

Harry shrugged uncomfortably. He didn't want Lucius feeling sorry for him. According to Snape, the wall might stay up all his life, denying him access to those memories. He'd never know if his life had been all that miserable or not. He felt cheated. He knew that he had decided that he'd be better off without those memories, but he wanted an easy option of having them back. It was not fair that everyone seemed to know him so much better than he himself did.

"He also said that some of the most powerful memories might slip through. That you might get a glimpse, or a 'feeling' as you said." Lucius continued. "Is there anything, anything at all, that you remember Harry?"

Lucius seemed as sober as ever as he asked that. Harry wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want to confess to the few memories that he did have, but at the same time he didn't want to lie to Lucius. At that moment, he knew why Snape had wanted him to witness the conversation last night. He'd wanted Harry to have some compassion for Lucius. He was telling Harry to trust Lucius, and to end whatever enmity there was between them. He was telling Harry that it would be easier for him this way; that it would be easier for all of them this way. And yet, he found himself reluctant to retell those memories to Lucius. His instincts were screaming at him to distrust this man. His memories were throwing images of the cold expressionless Lucius he had seen on his first days, the one that had been ready to torture and kill him. But that wasn't true anymore. Lucius had been far from cold and distant ever since. He had shown amusement at thoughts of causing Harry pain, disappointment of having such opportunities snatched away, hell, he'd even teased Severus last night in Harry's dream that wasn't really a dream. If he'd been serious about hurting Harry, he would have stayed the cold and expressionless man. He wouldn't have so openly showed his feelings, wouldn't have shared them with Harry if he had truly been considered his enemy. He looked into Lucius' eyes now and saw openness and honesty, a desire for reconciliation. He knew that if he'd been his past self, and could just remember why Lucius was to be hated and feared, then maybe things would be different now. As it was, this man had treated him more like a guest than a prisoner, and even if he'd spied on Harry, well Harry had spied on Lucius right back last night. He could hardly blame the man for wanting to know Harry's allegiance.

Besides, he was tired. Tired of a war that was over five years ago but still echoed in every corner. Snape was right. He should let go of an old enmity that he couldn't even remember the reasons behind. If Lucius could forget about them, then so could he. He was supposed to be this forgiving and great saviour after all, wasn't he?

"I remember being on opposing sides," Harry started softly. "But that doesn't matter. What I remember and what I see now are very different. I remember fighting a dark and mad wizard who destroyed homes and families and hope. Now I see that he's dead, but there are still wizards destroying homes and families and hope. It isn't right, the way they're treating you. You all deserve a fair trial. Being suspended like this, your life preserved, made sure to be extended and healed even, is not fair. It's not justice. Treated like nothing. Tucked under protective shields and simply forgotten about. That is not how it is supposed to be. This Ministry, these people who are supposed to be law… no one should be treated this way. I don't remember this, but I know it. I see it, and I know that it's wrong."

By the time he was done, Lucius' smile had broadened to a grin, and soon he was laughing out loud.

"You still care about justice? About being fair?" Lucius laughed heartily. "You're still the same boy that I remember. Memories are not what make a person," he leaned forward until he was sitting at the very edge of his chair, and laid a hand on Harry's chest. "It is the heart," He finished softly.

Lucius smiled to himself and leaned back in his chair, sipping his firewhiskey. It was as if an invisible barrier between them had been broken. Harry still wasn't sure what to think of Lucius, after all, it wasn't the wisest of ideas to trust someone in their drunken moments, but he knew that he wasn't on the verge of killing or getting killed anymore and so far, being honest and open had been worth it.

Seeing that Lucius was paying him no mind and was lost in his own world, he took his leave. He looked for Shabby, but was very much alone in the long corridor. Hoping that his half-asleep brain had registered the many turns and corridors from his room to here in the morning, he set off in the general direction.

He wasn't even remotely surprised when he realised that he was lost. This place was just too darn big with too many corridors and rooms. They all looked alike to him. Long and big and decorated in rich colours.

He opened a door, sure that it was going to lead him to a corridor near his room, and found himself in a huge bedroom, the biggest he had seen yet, with light pouring in through thin, white curtains. Besides the windows, in an armchair, sat the saddest and most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Harry's mouth turned dry as Narcissa Malfoy turned to look at him.