Chapter Nine

Beverly sat nervously in Ten Forward. It was nice to be back on the Enterprise, especially since the war was over. The newly repaired Enterprise was setting out on its first post war mission, but before it could depart Starfleet insisted on ceremony. The crew of the the Enterprise E, were to receive the Presidents Council Award, while Beverly and Tenaya were being given valor awards. In addition, Tenaya who was sitting stoically on Beverly's rights was to be made a lieutenant commander. The Hopkins had rescued a lot of Starfleet's top brass and they were very grateful, a fact that was confirmed by the speeches they felt oblique to give.

Of course that gratitude meant that Beverly and Tenaya could have been assigned anywhere they chose. When Beverly had informed Tenaya that she intended to go back to the Enterprise a look of sadness had crossed her eyes. Although they had stuck by their pledge Beverly new she still had feelings for Tenaya and suspected the younger women's feelings hadn't changed. Beverly also knew Tenaya was an amazing doctor and a fine officer, an even though the Enterprise E was an impressive ship, Beverly felt she was holding Tenaya back.

Beverly's thoughts returned to the present when Admiral Paris called Tenaya's name she watch the young woman rise and walk to the podium. As the Admiral reminded the audience of Tenaya's valiant accomplishment her expression was one of modesty. That modesty was one of her most enduring qualities. Beverly suspected that her own expression was one of pride; of course it was the feelings Beverly had for her other than pride, that she wasn't sure what to do about.

Looking back she knew that when she had led Tenaya to the lower bunk that she had been totally assure of herself and what she wanted. After the attack she also new she had to put her feelings and desires aside. She had spent more than one uneasy night aboard the Hopkins remembering how it felt to be in Tenaya's arms, how alive and how complete she had felt. Perhaps it was the intenstify of those feelings that made her worry about where things would head.

After Beverly and Jean Luc received the awards the audience gave them a standing ovation and the reception began.

Jean Luc turned to his fellow recipients and offered them his congratulations.

"And to you as well Sir." Tenaya replied in a very formal voice.

"It was long over due in your case Jean Luc." Beverly said warmly.

"Thank you." Jean Luc replied then turned his attention to Tenaya. "I was very pleased that you decided to continue aboard the Enterprise."

"Well she's hard to leave." Tenaya replied in a low tone that had Beverly fighting not to shudder. Tenaya then excused herself and left. Beverly glanced over at Jean Luc who seemed about to ask a question but didn't.

Tenaya searched the crowd for Data, she found him having a conversation with one of the Admirals. She wasn't in the mood to talk to any brass so she decided to wait.

"That was some very impressive flying you did." Riker announced from behind her.

Turning around she found Riker and Deanna Troi. The counselor handed her a glass of champagne. "I thought you might like this."

"Emphaths are really handy." Tenaya smiled and took the glass from Deanna, and wondered why she had never noticed how captivity the Betazed was.

"Not really good at flying though." Riker remarked. "Deanna was at the controls when the Enterprise D crashed."

"You told me to take the helm." Deanna reminded him playfully. "And I did land it mostly in-tack."

"Now that had to be impressive flying." Tenaya said in Deanna's defense.

The Betazed smiled at her and Tenaya fought back an image of kissing those lips, but it didn't feel as much like a fantasy as it did a memory, as for as she knew Darien had never known Deanna Troi, though she was certain he would have liked to. Tenaya looked back into Deanna's eyes and saw a trace of amusement and concern, Tenaya felt certain Deanna had sensed her thoughts and was very grateful when she was paged to sickbay.

In sickbay she was informed by the duty nurse, that crewman from engineering that she had operated on earlier seemed to be developing an infection. Tenaya checked the scan and confirmed the diagnoses; infections were rare in Starfleet medical facilities, and usually caused by equipment failure. She instructed the nurse on how she wanted the patient treated, and then decided to run a diagnostic on the equipment she had used. Just as she finished the diagnostic which revealed no error the nurse came into the lab.

"The patients fever was lessoning, but vitals are still unstable."

"Page Dr. Crusher." Tenaya ordered as she headed back into sickbay.

As the nurse did so Tenaya ran a level three bioscan over the wound. Somehow it had not completely closed.

"Sub-dermal scalpel." Tenaya ordered, but once it was in her hands she wasn't sure what to do with it.

"Doctor, do you want me to turn on the sterile field?" The nurse had asked.

"Or course." Tenaya said and then continued to stare at the instrument in her hand.

She heard the sick bay doors open and saw Beverly walk in. "What's going on?"

"It didn't close." Tenaya said then not knowing what else to do handed Beverly the scalpel and walked away.

Beverly was about to push the enunciator when the door to Tenaya's cabin opened and out walked a young blonde female crew member whose name Beverly could not place. She gave Beverly an irritated look and walked away. It had been several hours sense Tenaya had left sickbay Beverly had easily repaired the wound, but had wanted to review the computer records of the surgery before talking to Tenaya, she had then been delayed by one of the Admirals allergic reaction to Trill delicacy.

Stepping into Tenaya cabin Beverly tried not to be presumptions about what she might have interrupted, but seeing that Tenaya had removed her uniform jacket and turtleneck and was standing before her in a tank top and uniform pants Beverly found a hot streak of jealously go through her body.

"Hello." Tenaya greeted her defiantly.

"I thought you would want an update on the patient." Beverly said regaining some of her professional composure.

"I contacted sickbay a short while ago." Tenaya informed her. "Sorry about dragging you away from the reception, I bet you and Jean Luc didn't have much of a chance to get caught up?"

Beverly's voice was like steel. "There's nothing going on between me and Jean Luc, can you say the same for you and whoever that was?"

"Ensign Tate of engineering, and nothing happened. Of course there is also nothing happening between you and I either." Tenaya let loose a sad laugh. "Why do you suppose it is that you can inspire such great emotion in people, and you feel no need to reciprocate, you've been on ship filled with thousands of people and still you are alone? Then tell me in addition to being the wrong sex, am I also the wrong type of Trill?"

Beverly gave an infuriated look. "Odan was a long time ago, and how do you even know about him."

"Did you love him?"

Beverly's mind was swirling. "Why are acting like this?" She picked up a medical tricorder from a nearby table.

"Please don't scan me." Tenaya insisted placing her hand over the tricorder.

"Then tell me what's going on."

Tenaya moved her hands up Beverly's arms as she spoke. "I'm not sure, my mind is muddled, thoughts and feelings are unclear except the ones I have about you."

Taking a step closer Tenaya gently moved her hands to Beverly's waist then up underneath her dress jacket, finding skin. Beverly shuddered at Tenaya's touch, she knew she should be pull away, but instead moved toward her, there lips touched hesitantly at first and then eagerly. Just when Beverly's concern had remerged enough that she could pull away she felt Tenaya grip tighten on her, and heard a moan escape from the other women. But it was not a moan of desire it was one of pain. Tenaya's knees buckled and Beverly helped her to the couch, her body began to shake, Beverly called for medical team and began to scan her.