Chapter 8 – Confession

Erik gasped. "You thought of me as your successor?" he whispered. "You would have given me your daughter? Me?" He stared at Giovanni, incredulous. "You would not have minded that I am a freak, a monster with only half a face?"

Giovanni gently pushed Erik back onto the sofa. "Calm down, Erik," he said. "You promised to rest. If you get so agitated, we have to continue this conversation tomorrow." Erik sighed and settled back onto the cushion, trying to appear as calm as possible. Giovanni smiled. "That's better, son," he said. Then he looked Erik straight into the eyes and, putting an emphasis on every single word, he continued. "I understand that you see your face as a curse, Erik. But your face is not you. It is only one tiny part of you. You have a lot to offer, and you possess many qualities. You are an intelligent, gifted man, you work hard, you are creative with an eye for aesthetic values, which is important in my profession, you are a caring, compassionate man."He paused, glancing at Erik, to see what kind of impression these words had made. "In short," he finally added, "I do not have a daughter to offer to you anymore, but my business still needs a successor. If you wanted to stay this time, work with me as you did before, and take over in a few years, when I will be too old, you would make me a very happy man."

Erik closed his eyes. He was overwhelmed. Giovanni cared for him, appreciated his talents and his work, wanted him to be his successor and would even have accepted him into his family if things had gone differently. Giovanni's offer was tempting. Erik knew Giovanni's business, the company had a good reputation and the many satisfied customers usually recommended Giovanni to others. He normally had several building projects going on at the same time. If Erik could find work in such a prestigious company, he could certainly get his life back on track easily. Also, with Giovanni as his employer, he would not have to face any problems because of his mask. But could he accept this offer?

Erik shook his head. "Giovanni," he sighed. "You have no idea who you are about to hire. I am not the person you knew. Too much has happened in the meantime. You would never consider helping me if you knew everything." He shuddered at the thought of the many murders he had committed in Persia, as well as his more recent crimes in Paris.

Giovanni just smiled at him. He realized that Erik was deeply shaken and that something burdened his young friend. "Tell me," he encouraged Erik. "Talking about it sometimes helps."

Erik nodded. "I will tell you the truth," he whispered. "But I warn you, it will be terrible." He paused, before adding, almost to himself, "I lost myself. I committed terrible crimes and was proud of my achievements." Slowly, hesitantly, Erik began to talk about everything he had experienced since he had left Rome after Luciana's death. He did not embellish anything, did not make excuses. He saw that Giovanni gasped in shock when he described the rosy hours of Mazenderan, but he also noticed that the old man's eyes softened when he spoke of Nadir and his young son Reza.

"I finally went home," Erik stated, "to Paris, and it turns out, I arrived just in time to help Antoinette sort things out after her husband's death." Giovanni nodded. He remembered that Erik had told him before about the young girl, barely older than himself, who had helped him escape from the gypsies. "But once her affairs were settled, and she did not need me anymore," Erik continued, "I felt so empty. My life had no purpose anymore." He shuddered at the memory of the deep depression he had suffered from at that time. He realized now that deep down he had known how terrible the deeds he had committed were and that the memory of his countless victims had haunted his subconscious even then.

Giovanni listened attentively. As shocked as he had been to hear about Erik's time in Persia, he had also noticed that Erik had a hard time living with those memories. He noticed how Erik loathed himself for having committed those atrocities, how much the knowledge of his crimes pained his friend and he knew that the warm-hearted boy he had known so many years ago, was still there, inside the full-grown murderer. He put a comforting hand on Erik's shoulder, to show his sympathy to the trembling man in front of him.

"Then, Heaven sent me an angel," Erik continued. His voice had changed. It now held so much tenderness and adoration and his eyes were shining bright at the memory, that Giovanni had no doubts what Erik was talking about.

"You met a woman?" he softly asked Erik. Of course, it was only natural that sooner or later the boy would fall in love, and since Erik described the lady in question as an angel, Giovanni assumed she might at least have had some kind of feelings for his young friend.

Erik shook his head. "No, not yet. When I first met her, she was only seven years old. She had just lost her father and had been accepted into the corps de ballet as a student. She lived in the dormitories of the Opera Populaire and Antoinette had taken her under her wings." He then proceeded to explain his role as the Angel of Music, and one by one he confessed everything else to Giovanni, his dealings as the Opera Ghost, his jealousy of the new patron, his attempts to force Christine to love him, and at last he revealed that he was a wanted criminal in France and had left his home country to escape the authorities. "You see, Giovanni," he finally added, "I am not the kind of person you would want to associate with. I am a murderer, a blackmailer, a hunted madman, in addition to being a freak."

Giovanni was deeply moved by Erik's story. Despite all the horrors Erik had described, Giovanni realized the desperation and self-loathing that permeated the whole narration. Erik obviously regretted his crimes now, and he also understood now why the young woman he loved so much had turned away from him. Giovanni was also quite certain that Erik's feelings for his protégée were genuine. It was obvious that Erik still loved her deeply despite the fact that she had preferred another suitor over him. In Giovanni's opinion, a person capable of such strong, selfless love, was not an evil person at heart.

Erik uncertainly glanced at Giovanni awaiting his verdict. Surely, now that he knew the truth about him, the old mason would turn away from him, ask him to leave his house immediately, or even worse, deliver him to the authorities.

After a long pause, Giovanni began to speak. "We all carry our burden," he said, "and we all are haunted by the memories of our past misdeeds. Not one day has passed since Luciana's death without me regretting that I told you to show her your face. I will forever have to live with the knowledge that I indirectly caused my daughter's death. I also drove you away and in doing this I may be indirectly responsible for what you did in Persia. None of that would have happened if you had stayed here."

Erik looked up, as hope began to rise in his heart. "You do not condemn me for what I did?" he asked cautiously. "You do not turn your back on me, the murderer?"

Giovanni shook his head. "I cannot condemn you any more than I condemn myself," he said. "I can see that you regret your actions, that the memories of those crimes will haunt you for the rest of your life. And I can also see that despite everything your heart is still capable of compassion. The story about the boy Reza confirmed this. And despite everything, your heart is still full of love. I can see that the love you still feel for your protégée is very strong and yet so selfless. You set her free, so that she could pursue her dream. She had agreed to be your wife in order to save her fiancé, yet you did not want her sacrifice. Erik, all I can see, is that despite everything, you are still a decent man. You just told me that you want to start anew. If you are serious about it, you have my full support. I am still willing to employ you. You can live with me here, and if you want to, you may still take over my business in a few years, when I will be too old."

When Giovanni ended his speech, tears were streaming down Erik's face. "You would do this?" he stammered. "You would help me start a new life, even though you know about all my crimes? You would employ the murderer?"

Giovanni nodded. "I want to employ the man who has lost his way but tries to find it again. I want to make sure the boy that never had a chance at a normal life will finally be given that chance." He paused and smiled at Erik. "And I want my former genius apprentice to become my right-hand man and successor, so that my business will be in good hands once I will not be able to run it myself any longer." He paused again before adding, "I have been very lonely those past few years, Erik, ever since Luciana died and you left me. I also have a feeling that you are just as lonely as I am. We both lost the person we loved most in this world. If you stayed with me, neither of us would be quite as lonely anymore. As for you, you would be able to earn your money in a respectable way, to make a living for yourself. As my protégé you would be respected even with your mask."

When Erik did not respond immediately, Giovanni continued. "You do not have to decide right away, Erik. I am not rushing you. Whatever your decision, you may stay at my house till you and your stallion have regained your strength, or longer, if you want to. And even if you do not take me up on my offer, I want you to know that you will always be welcome here."

Erik was overwhelmed. He had always admired his former master. He had had no idea, though, how much Giovanni appreciated and, yes, loved him. That the old mason still wanted him to join his business, even though he knew about Erik's criminal past, seemed like a miracle to Erik. Was it possible? Could he take the hand that offered him help? He still hesitated.

"What about your other daughter?" he finally asked. "What would Angela say if you hired me again? Even if you do not tell her about my crimes, will she not blame me for her sister's death?"

Giovanni shook his head. "I rarely see her," he confessed. "She has her own family, and they have moved to Naples. She will not care one way or another. It's not as if she and Luciana had been close anyway. Also, she knows that I am convinced that Luciana's death was my fault, and she knows how much I missed you. Come to think of it, she might be glad to hear you are back."

Erik closed his eyes. Another reason to refuse the tempting offer had just been eliminated. Was there a future for him after all? Could he stay here in Rome with Giovanni, work for a living and make money with something he was good at and actually enjoyed doing? He was about to tell Giovanni he would be staying, when yet another thought assaulted him.

"But what if," Erik began uncertainly. "If the Vicomte's men somehow learn about my whereabouts and hunt me down here? What kind of consequences would it have for you and your daughter's family that you have employed a criminal?"

Giovanni was touched. Erik's concern for him and his family showed him beyond any doubt that he had not misjudged his young friend. Erik was serious about starting anew, his desire to leave his criminal past behind was genuine.

"Well," Giovanni continued, "that might depend on your status here in Rome." He paused for effect. "If you work here as a French fugitive with no valid documents, they could easily arrest you and take you back to France where you'd have to face charges. If, on the other hand, you were an Italian citizen, member of a respected family, with all sorts of documents to prove your identity, they would be hard-pressed to prove you are the criminal they are seeking." He smiled at Erik. "In that case, I dare say, you would be perfectly safe and anybody raising charges against you would be in trouble."

Erik gazed at him. He was at a total loss, what Giovanni was talking about. "You know pretty well that I do not have any documents of any sorts," he explained to Giovanni. "Not even ones that prove I am a French citizen, even less so any claims at Italian citizenship…" his voice trailed. "Unless you suggest I get myself forged documents…" Erik sighed. He did not want to start his new life with a forgery, but he was aware that he might have to do just that. His lack of documents was a serious problem that he had not even considered so far.

Giovanni grinned. "Forgery! Gran Dio, no! Is that all you can come up with, Erik? And I thought you were a bright, intelligent young man!" He shook his head in mock indignation. "There is a perfectly legal, very simple way for you to obtain Italian citizenship and valid documents. It would also gain you access into Roman society."

Erik still had not the slightest idea what Giovanni was talking about and said so. Giovanni obviously enjoyed the situation. He continued to tease Erik, by talking on without revealing his plan yet. "We would not even have to lie," he said, "we could just tell people that you and Luciana had been sort of close, don't protest, Erik, I know that she wanted you, and you certainly did desire her. But as I was saying, if we do tell people that the two of you had been close, we might be able to give the impression that you have always been around, without actually saying so. You certainly have been a friend of the family for a long time."

Erik nodded. He understood Giovanni's argument. If they told neighbors or customers this simplified version of the truth, most people would assume that Erik had always lived in Rome, which might be helpful, should de Chagny's men one day come hunting for him there. If honorable citizens claimed he had always lived here it would be difficult for the French authorities to prove he had been in Paris all those years threatening the managers of an opera house. Things would definitely be even easier for him if he could prove that he was an Italian citizen.

"But how would this help me to gain Italian citizenship?" Erik asked. "Even if I am considered a long-term acquaintance of yours, without proper documents I will be on shaky ground."

Giovanni thought by himself that the boy must really be extremely weak and exhausted if he had not figured out by now what he was talking about. Really, the solution was so simple. How could Erik not think of it himself?

"There is a very easy way for you to become an Italian citizen," he began again. "All you need to do is agree to … " he paused for effect, glancing at Erik to see the younger man's reaction to his suggestion. "To let me adopt you," he finished. "As my son and heir."

Erik's jaw dropped. He was speechless for a moment. "You would do that?" he finally asked. "You would still accept me into your family, even though you know everything about me?"

Giovanni put his hand on Erik's shoulder. "I always wanted a son like you, Erik. That's why I hoped so much that you and Luciana…" The memory of his daughter's tragic death overwhelmed him and he could not finish his sentence. After a short pause he continued. "I still want you as my son, not despite everything you told me, but because of it. I sympathize with you, since I understand what it means to live with the burden of guilt. Luciana's broken body will haunt me till the end of my days. But I also know that despite everything, deep-down you are a decent person. You are capable of compassion and of love, and what is more, you are capable of great personal sacrifices out of love. You did not say so, but from what you told me, you are trying to become a better man, one that she… your Christine… could be proud of."

Erik was sobbing by now. "It must be so terrible for her to know that her childhood confidant and teacher is a murderer," he cried. "I so want to become a person that one would not have to be ashamed of knowing. A person that she would feel was not completely unworthy of the trust she once placed in me. A person that she might be able to forgive for his past misdeeds because of the way he has redeemed himself. Even though I'll never see her again and she'll never know, it will mean a lot to me to become worthy of her former trust and friendship."

Giovanni pulled Erik close. "Sh, son," he tried to comfort the crying man. "You are on the best way to becoming such a person. I will be proud to help you. So if you do not object, in two or three days, once you have regained your strength, we'll go to the sindaco (=mayor) and sign the necessary documents that will make you my son."

Erik sobbed into Giovanni's shirt, but now he was crying mostly because he was so touched by Giovanni's offer. "I would be honored to be your son," he finally stammered. "Your support means a lot to me."

Giovanni beamed. "It is settled then, figlio," he said. "You will soon be officially my son, and then I'll have to rename my company. What do you think about Giovanni Nardini & son," he smiled. "I think that name has a great ring to it!"

Erik nodded, tears still running down his cheeks. "I have never had a father before," he confessed. "Mine died before I was born. But if I could choose one, it would be you." And after a moment of hesitation he added softly, "mio padre." (my father) Giovanni's whole face lit up at this word and he embraced his new son, eager to show him the extent of his love.