…::Chapter Nine::…
Okayasu Apartment Living Room
…::….
Momo slapped Kiley across the back with an impressive force and he managed to get the pretzel down. Right afterwards, he looked at her critically and said, slowly: " Me? Are you delirious?" He used his palm to press it against her forehead. " Running a thousand degree fever? Hallucinating?"
Momo was laughing. Only he could make me laugh this way. Her fingers wove through his and she brought his hand down. " I'm serious, Kiley."
He looked around. " Really? There's no camera crew in here, waiting to jump out and tell me that it's all a trick and they caught me on tape?"
Momo sighed. " Kiley, I mean it."
He hugged her just then and said, his voice wavering: " Just a week ago I thought this would be impossible… I can't believe it." His cheek glistened wet against hers, and she couldn't figure it out until she turned her head and looked at him in surprise. Kiley was in tears.
Before she could ask, Kiley said: " Sorry, I can explain. I just… I can't believe it, finally, someone likes me for me. Not because I'm my brother's brother, or because of the way I look, or because I'm popular. You like me." He laughed bitterly. " I think I should explain something about my relationship with my brother."
" Go ahead." Momo looked a bit shocked.
" My brother would be the most popular guy in school. A lot of girls would come to my house, but one look at him and they'd practically forget me. Next to my brother, I'm ugly." Kiley admitted. " He was really sweet to them, he was a real nice guy to girls, all the time. I'd bring a girl home and he'd flirt with her."
" Well…" Momo began. " … that doesn't sound that bad…"
" You don't understand. Once he'd steal my girlfriend, he wouldn't want her anymore. He'd use her, for sex, and then after a week or so he'd tell her that he doesn't love her. I don't know how he did it, but he also managed to worm it into them that it was my fault that he couldn't be with them anymore - - something about feeling guilty about taking my girl. Then the girl would hate me instead. It got so bad around home that I had to transfer to this high school."
" Oh my God, I didn't know."
" He really seemed perfect. He was my father's favorite. They would always spoil him – he was their first kid. Then four years later they had me, and they were pretty poor already. Then my father had to go get a second job to support us, and my mother worked hard cleaning houses." Kiley's nostrils flared. " Meanwhile, my brother would just pick on me, he'd beat the shit out of me, and then he'd take my girl too."
" That's terrible. Didn't your parents know…?"
" My father worked too long to see anything. Besides, he believed my brother above everything. My brother would steal money out of my parent's wallets and blame it at me. Then my father would beat me." Kiley looked bitter. " I never liked my dad, but then again, at least he didn't split when I was born, right?"
Momo nodded, still half-frozen in shock. " Didn't you try to talk to your mother?"
" My mother began to get sick later on. They thought she had a fat blockage growing under her skin, but when they cut her open, it turned out to be a cancerous tumor. They gave her a year to live." Kiley's ears were turning red. He never told his life story to anyone. He remained a shadowy figure when it came to his past. Not even his fan club could dig the details of his home life from him.
" I'm so sorry." Momo said.
" Yeah, well, it's life, isn't it? I stopped feeling sorry for myself, so you shouldn't feel sorry for me either." Kiley then continued: "By the point where my mother's hair fell out and she looked sick and pale, my brother was doing drugs, drinking, partying all night and coming home hung over the next day. He'd throw up all over the house, pass out in the living room. Then my mother died. I was fourteen. After that, my father left. He just couldn't take it anymore. So then Yu, my older sister…"
" I met her before. She's really pretty." Momo said in a faded voice.
" … she looks like my mother." Kiley said. " Anyway, Yu began to take care of me. My brother… he couldn't wise up. He was older then Yu by a year, he should have been in college by then, Yu was just out of high school. Yet, he was so immature and spoiled. He couldn't handle working to support his family. Finally, he got some acting gig somewhere in Hong Kong, and that's the last I've heard of him."
" I can't believe this. You should have told me something, I feel so bad now…" Momo had flashbacks. I love you, pussycat. I love it when you smile. I never want to take that smile away. Oh, the swim meet is over? I can be a nice guy. And then, over his sweet words, over his sugary, if somewhat horny remarks, her harsh voice: You stupid pumpkin! Leave me alone! Get away from me! Pumpkin! Idiot! I know what part of me you're interested in!
" It's fine. Trust me, I've learned to deal with it. I don't really talk about it, but I think about it a lot. You know, I used to talk out loud in my room, putting together a speech about how I'll tell you… that I really like you. That I want you to be my girlfriend, that I might be a pervert but that I can be okay sometimes… sometimes… I'd put together speeches about how I'll tell you the truth about my life, and how it is at home…"
Momo put her hands around him, resting her head against his bare chest, hearing his heartbeat inside, as it quickened noticeably under her touch. Babump, babump, babump, BABUMP.
" Yu kept trying, she raised us good… but I guess it does me no justice to say that I hate my father, I hate my brother. I loved my mother, and she's gone. I love my sister, but she's at work all the time. All I have is myself, my dates, and my fanclub, and you." Kiley laughed. " That's sort of ironic. Yu returned her love, my "fanclub" was constantly drooling about me, my dates were great, but I chose to go after the one love of my life that didn't return her feelings. You know which one?"
Momo's cheeks burned fiery red.
" You." He leaned forwards, her hair tickling her forehead as he kissed her slowly and warmly, and then he pulled her into a bigger kiss, falling backwards so he was flat on his back on the couch, Momo kneeling over him. She traced her finger up from the center of his chest, to his chin, then around his cheeks, to his nose, and back down again.
" What are you doing?" He asked, finally.
" Memorizing you." Momo whispered. " You in the moment I knew you weren't a pumpkin anymore."
Kiley laughed. " Oh, you'd like to think that, wouldn't you?" He waggled his eyebrows. " Just wait till I buy you the hottest swimsuit, saw it in the mall some time ago. If you wore it, damn…" He licked his lips.
She laughed and punched him lightly. " Let's not push any buttons, okay?" Then her lips fell on top of his again, even more intensely, his hands wrapping around her back, then caressing the sides of her face, holding her close, so she never would slip away.
…::… The Next Day – School Hallways …::…
Momo marched resolutely through the hall, stopping to glance into her locker to see if she forgot any books. Nope, she thought happily, slamming it again. She turned around and saw Kiley amidst a crowd of students, trying to get into a classroom. He turned and saw her and waved. She waved back and then turned away, her face burning hotter then fire, and red as blazing iron.
She moved her way to her own classroom when she heard a voice behind her: "Momo!"
Turning, she saw Toji in his swimming trunks and a regular white T-shirt thrown over the top, rather messily. He walked up to her and then kissed her lightly on the forehead. " Hey, wish me luck on the swim meet. I had ten minutes to get into my trunks, but I thought I'd hurry up and catch you before your next class. You're my good luck charm, after all." He gave her a wide smile.
A sharp knife seemed to slide into Momo's stomach. She faked a gleeful smile. " Good luck, Toji." Oh, I can't possibly tell him now. He'll swim badly and then the team will hate him. Oh, why doesn't anything work out for me the way it should?
He laughed and then flashed her the "L" symbol, walking away.
Momo pretended not to see it, turning abruptly to look at a sign hanging on the wall. She read over the information about a future basketball meeting with bland interest until she was sure Toji was gone. Then, she ran into her class just as the bell rang.
…::…
Momo's Room
…::…
Momo wiped her cheeks free of tears and then pressed an already soaked tissue to her eyes. She had tried desperately to find the right time to tell Toji the truth, but she was afraid to break his heart. She didn't want to hurt him, but she knew that she couldn't live on without getting it out. If she began meeting with Kiley, then she'd be cheating on Toji, and it was worse to cheat on someone like Toji then to simply break it off with him. After a break-up, there just needs to be time to heal. After a cheating partner, it's hard to trust again, and without trust there never will be true love ever again.
She knelt on her bed and looked at the old, worn picture of Toji that she still had taped to her pillow. In it, Toji smiled cheekily from beneath a Pikachu mask, the bright yellow color wanly lighting up the rest of the photo. It was a candid shot, Toji was goofing off and some friend of his snapped the picture. Still, it might be best to practice what she had to say.
After three days of this, Momo felt she had it under control. She offered a big apology, and managed to sound sincere without adding the usual baloney like " I hope we'll be friends" or, "Its me and not you". Though those were all true, she decided to just give him a play-by-play of how she realized the truth about her feelings.
As she concluded her speech to the picture on the day she would tell him, early the school day morning, Momo said: " … and, so you see Toji, I'm really sorry. I really do like you, and we've been through so much to get here, and of course, we were so happy for so long, but I know it isn't fair to you if you're not the only one my heart is set on. I want you to be really happy with a girl that can really be special to you, and treat you like you are the only one."
Her voice quivered. " I guess, after all this time, God was just telling us that it wasn't meant to be but we ignored fate's calling. Now that everything's fine again, it feels wrong to ruin it all, but maybe it's a good thing."
She sighed. " You were my first boyfriend, and you gave me some of my favorite memories. I just hope this won't ruin our friendship."
Momo put the pillow down. In just two or three hours, she'd be in school, and she'll tell Toji the truth. I just hope he takes it as well as I'd like him to…
